My neighbour has a blind date tonight

last year

last modified: last year

She's not expecting anything from it. She's seen a pic of the man, and hopes he cleans up for the date :-)

A friend of mine wanted to set me up with someone. She said he doesn't have a license and he smokes. Nope, sorry. Not interested in being a chauffeur nor will I ever date a smoker.

You know I've been going to dances the past several months. There's either a dj or live music. Always with a group of friends, all couples, except for me and one other woman. The women always get up and dance as a group and we have a ball. The men also dance with all of us, handy for slow dances. LOL. I've also had other men at the dance ask me to dance, and I've asked a man or two who are sitting by themselves. It's just a nite out to hear the music and have a good time.

The past couple of months the other single lady and I have been going to a bar in her town. I'm NOT a drinker when I go out. All the dances and the bars I drink ginger-ale. (I'm also nominated as the DD at the dances, something I don't always want to be, but it seems to have stuck.)

Anyway the bar we have fun at too, we'll get up and get other ladies up dancing, and couples. There are men at this bar and I've asked one or two to dance, just because, and none dance.

I've always said I don't want to go to bars to meet someone, as I don't want a drinker, and so far it's the case. Non are the type for me (so far that I've seen) and they don't dance. LOL

But again, it's something for the two of us to do, dance to the band.

Our group (10 of us) is going to a bar tonight to hear a particular band.

Hmmmmm I'm wondering if it's time to put my toe into online dating. It scares the beejeebers out of me, I don't want to live with anyone, but it would sure be fun to have a partner to go to dances, and do things with.

This is the type of thing I wear to the dances and bars. I do get compliments. I'm very casual and laid-back as you all know!

Featured Answer

morz8 - Washington Coast

last year

Jas, I'd wear what you are comfortable in and reflects how you typically dress. You don't need to be different than what you really are to attract someone. Will you find the right someone in a bar? I really don't know. With the cost of drinks, and the tighter rules of drinking and driving, we are seldom in a bar any more - its much more often someone's house or Covid era: their driveway or garage and that includes here. I will sometimes order a drink in a restaurant, DH rarely does.

I have one friend who had been single many years and tried online dating. He did meet a couple of nice women over dinner dates but nothing really clicked. A hospital administrator in a community even more remote than this one, he had few opportunities to meet women. If you go that route, just please do so very carefully.

I would think meeting like minded men where I live might be difficult. I've seen more than one solid relationship begin to flourish after a class reunion - any of those upcoming for you?

Funny story about one of those: She had lost not one but two husbands to cancer. Him - the same with his wife. They'd known each other for decades, had never dated. He invited her clam digging. It's hardly a place for a nice blouse, more a hip boots and sweatshirt affair. The ocean was rough that day, beach wasn't nice. A wave caught her and somewhat short and more wide at this age, was tumbling end over end with the force of the water. I know it sounds funny but actually somewhat dangerous, those waves can pull you out just as easily as push you in. Her date planted both legs firmly in the direction she was coming and drove his clam shovel into the sand for insurance. Yelling, grab my legs, I've got you and won't let you go. And he did have her, and fished her out of the surf. She was soaked, salty, sandy, gasping and a total mess. Her first date in a few decades ;) They married about a year later.

But I'd say go and have fun, just be yourself. You have plenty to offer just as you are.

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Comments (34)

littlebug Zone 5 Missouri
last year
last modified: last year
Though I’m not in the dating scene (very married), online dating would scare the cr@p out of me too.

Seems to me that drinking and smoking men are the type that hang out in bars. Nothing wrong with that (and nothing wrong with going out and having fun with a group), but a person might want to look elsewhere for nondrinkers/nonsmokers. I guess that’s why you are considering online…
eld6161
last year
Jasdip, don't take this the wrong way but I think a more feminine blouse would suit you.

I suspect you get compliments because are attractive and look nice in anything.

I remember you sharing photos of yourself.

I agree that the bar scene usually means drinkers and possibly smokers.

I agree with little bug, there has to be other places.
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Kathsgrdn
last year
Good luck with the online dating. I didn't have any luck when I tried after my divorce years ago but a lot of people do.

My daughter met her current boyfriend on Tender. After talking a little bit he invited her to see a concert months away and she said yes. lol. They hadn't even met yet. They're still together and ended up going to that concert.
sleeperblues
last year
I agree with eld, jazz it up a little with a nice sweater or top. You've got a cute figure, show it off a little. I'm not talking tight and cleavage, just a little definition. Good luck, I'm sure dating at our age is tough. I often think if something happened to my husband, what would I do? I honestly don't know, and don't want to find out.
rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
last year
last modified: last year
Ahh, blind dating can be scary! One of my fellow teachers at a community college matched me up with his younger brother at one time. I adored this guy and his wife, and trusted his judgement. Boy, was I wrong! I cannot begin to describe what a loser his brother was.
amylou321
last year
You look great! Have lots of fun with your friends! I honestly think that if something happened to SO or if we split up, I would never want to be with someone else. I KNOW I would not want to live with anyone else, but I think I would be just fine and perfectly happy on my own if I could not be with SO. Unless I need money. (that sound bad but i mean, it is what it is) Its seems everyone meets online these days. It wouldn't hurt to try it out if you are curious.
nelliebean
last year
I'd love to be set up on a blind date, but no one seems to know any single men. I haven't tried online dating yet so if you try it, I'd love if you'd post some updates. You look great btw.
lisa_fla
last year
In our area there are online meet ups for singles. Anyone in the group is free to go-no pressure, to whatever activity is planned. Volunterring for an organization that interests you could be interesting too.
honibaker
last year
last modified: last year
I ran into a widow in YouTube who relates how she started online dating after her husband died (he had dementia for many years). She married a man she met online after just a few months. She's a lovely person...fun to follow. She is a devout Christian, which helped her eliminate a lot of prospects. Fun read! It's called Sandra Brown Life Pushing 80. You might get some ideas from her videos.
Elmer J Fudd
last year
" She is a devout Christian, , which helped her eliminate a lot of prospects. "

This may be less a case of faith and more a case of blind faith.
functionthenlook
last year
I'm in the same boat. I've showed my hubby and his whiskey bottle the door two months ago,,but the last 2 1/2 years hubby and I have just been housemates who just tolerated each other. I really miss male companionship,but where to find it. It's been sooo long since I was in the dating scene. It's scary to start over again. . I moved 8 years ago and all my friends are on the other side of the city. I never cultivated any new friendship when I moved because my husband use to be my best friend. . I did join a women's social group recently and I am hoping to get a few of the girls together to go to the private club and listen to a band. in two weeks. I feel funny going alone. I've belonged to the private club for 7 years , not all men are heavy drinkers or smokers. Only a minority are smokers and most of the men are just social drinkers. I am certainly not looking for a heavy drinker, for sure. Nor am I looking for a serious relationship. I guess I'm looking for is what younger people call a "friend with maybe benefits". A man to talk to , to laugh with, and to enjoy mutual liked activities with.
wildchild2x2
last year
last modified: last year
Dress as you are. Be yourself. Being comfortable with who you are is far more attractive to most men than what you wear. I've always been casual, I'm not pretty, always been more on the cute side of things at best, and I have zero problem attracting positive male attention even today. Being married I'm not looking for men but even when I was younger I always wanted guys who liked me for who I was, not some image I produced. I always felt a bit sorry for women who have the need to please others over their own wants and that includes dressing for attention or worse for what other women think they should be wearing.

Before my hearing problems came about I used to go to bars with my single girl friend. I always drove, occasionally had one beer or drink and switched to soda for the rest of the night. If you go to bars for the music and dancing you can cull out those who are there to drink and those who are their simply for the social or entertainment aspect.

As a male friend who has a much younger wife recently commented to me that as a woman ages the field narrows, but as a man ages the field opens up. By my observation what levels the field is that with older people more men than women are interested in a long term relationship. A lot of woman I know are happier being single, even after good marriages, they just want the male companionship without the commitment.
colleenoz
last year
last modified: last year
If you’re wanting someone who can dance, are there any (what we call here) old time dance clubs in your area? If you could find one, you would find dance partners.
amicus
last year
Within our group of friends, one of the women and one of the men lost their spouses in the past few years. Both still socialized with us, but also hoped to find someone to accompany them to things of mutual interest, outside our group get togethers. The man joined a cooking class after his wife passed, as he needed to improve his skills. The woman joined a bowling league last winter, to get some low impact exercise, as she doesn't like walking in the cold.

The fellow met a woman in the cooking class and they eventually became a couple. They don't live together, because one has a dog and the other a cat, but each are very allergic to the other's pet. As both pets are elderly, they'll consider whether they want to live together after their pets pass away, if their relationship is still going strong. Our monthly group dinner rotation is always held at her house, which is larger, but the two of them cook the amazing meal together, thanks to how they met!

The friend who joined the bowling league ended up meeting a lovely man on one of the other teams and two years later, they are planning their wedding in Hawaii.

Some people you meet may be hoping to find a potential marriage partner, while others just want someone to enjoy outings with, or anything in between. I'd say continue going to the dances you enjoy with your friends, and maybe consider other places to meet people in the flesh, if you're a bit hesitant to try online dating. There's no rush...unlike a cooking course or bowling league, there will never be a capacity limit that's already filled, if you ever decide to sign up,
Elmer J Fudd
last year
last modified: last year
" a "friend with maybe benefits". A man to talk to , to laugh with, and to enjoy mutual liked activities with. "

A friend with benefits is an acquaintance with whom one has casual, uncommitted intimate relations. A relationship intended for intimate activity and little else.
foodonastump
last year
The hope would be that the intimate relations would be a mutual liked activity. 🙂
rob333 (zone 7b)
last year
last modified: last year
Cute top!

Wish you all the luck. I've no interest in those things these days; what will happen, will happen without my intervention. I'm not declining anything, but not searching it out either.

My momma says, men only want two things at this age "a nurse, or a purse". When I find one who isn't intimidated by me, and isn't one of those two things, that'll be a beginning
Jupidupi
last year
My parents met on a blind date. My dad's friends cancelled out on a vacation, so he went on vacation by himself and asked a cousin who lived there to set him up with dates.

I also know a few people who have met their mate on the internet.

When I was single, I used to go by myself to any kind of event that looked halfway interesting. I'd pick out someone and start a conversation, telling them that I'd made a resolution to get out more and always talk to the best looking guy in the room. Can't say I met anyone special that way, but the men were always happy to be flattered.
Annegriet
last year
I'm divorced. After my divorce--a really long time ago--20 years ago--I tried online dating. Eharmony. I felt like it was a job interiew. Almost everyone I know has found their partner that way. It wasn't for me. I had zero interest in helping someone to raise their children and everyone in my age group either had children or was trying to have children and that wasn't for me. I had some strange experiences. I also recognize I have some issues. I'm super independent. I have no desire to share my home or my finances. I'm not very flexible. I can't date a bible thumper, a smoker, a conservative or someone who doesn't like football. I think I would be more interested in a companion. Someone to go to the orchesta with or be my plus one at weddings. That would be nice. A companion.
Elmer J Fudd
last year
Annegriet, from your self-description, I have a word that may fit you perfectly. You sound very, very.......normal.
Annegriet
last year
Thank you Elmer (-:
arkansas girl
last year
The suspense is killing me...how did her date go?
eld6161
last year
last modified: last year
The dating apps are very popular among the younger crowd. My youngest met her current boyfriend on one.

I think I would do Meet-up. This is how I found my book club for women over 50.

If I were ever to have to go an online, I would do the that just meet for coffee. You can size someone up pretty quickly. Why spend a whole afternoon or evening?

You hear the stories of how people lie or post old photos. Why?
jane__ny
last year
My daughter met her husband through online dating. They've been married 21 yrs. with two children, my lovely granddaughters.

My niece met her husband the same way. They are married 20 yrs.

I could never understand doing something like that. Just seemed scary to me and artificial.

But I have seen it work.

Jane
Jasdip
Original Author
last year
last modified: last year
Update...... my friend's blind date was a dud. He's not for her at all.

The night was a blast. The bar large and full, and the band was great, we've heard them a couple of times, the lead singer is a friend of my friend.

15 of us went, a mix of couples and singles and we were up dancing most of the night. There weren't a lot of smokers at all (but 4 smoke in my party), so you couldn't smell it when people walked by. We women were up as a group dancing, which got others up dancing. The bonus is my ginger-ale was free, they don't charge for pop apparently.

My fit watch was buzzing like crazy, it kept telling me I was running. LOL.

I don't want you to think I'm looking for someone to settle down with, live with. I'm not. I stated in my op I'd love to have someone to go for a drive with, spend time with, go to dances, see a play, etc etc. Not looking to move in or have anyone move in with me.

I had dinner with Tom's best friend and wife a while ago and I mentioned that I'm kind of lonely and it would be nice to meet someone. He looked at me and said 'It's time" in a heartfelt way. That brought huge tears to my eyes.

I'm still not certain of the online dating scene, but one never knows. I think it was easier years ago, it was more legit. Now there are sites for hook-ups, married men cruise the sites, etc.

One thing that's really going to be tough, is finding someone with no grandkids etc. I'm not the least bit interested in kids of any kind.
littlebug Zone 5 Missouri
last year
Good luck, jasdip.

I just came on to say that I’m a kindred spirit on the kids thing. (Yes, I have kids and grandkids and love them to pieces but given a choice, I’d just rather not.) So I wish you the best in that regard.
nicole___
last year
I have a success story to tell you. My mother put an add in the singles section of the newspaper....saying what you just said....looking for a dinner date....someone to go for a drive or grab a soda with. She'd have the mail sent to a PO Box, so she didn't give out her address...then meet them for the first time in a public place....like a night out with the girls you described. My sister is single. She was giving my sister advice to do THIS. My mother married a retired medical doctor...they met THIS way. 🧡
honibaker
last year
Glad you had a good time! I think online dating would be easier now, since there are so many targeted companies, appealing to specific groups. Some examples are Our Time and Silver Singles for older people, and J Date, CatholicMatch and Christian Mingle for specific faiths. I'm sure there's a service for atheist or agnostic people, too.

At least you have good friends to go out with if you don't choose to go the online route!
joann_fl
last year
I dress casual also. I haven't found much out there, and the dating sites are the pits. Go for the free sites the same guys are on there as the paid ones. Maybe you younger ladies stand a chance, but my time is up. Times are just so different now.
nicole___
last year
last modified: last year
@joann_fl...My mother was 74 when she married her retired doctor. It's never too late.
functionthenlook
last year
I wouldn't mind if a guy had kids and grandkids. I have no intentions of the guy meeting my family and I have no intentions of meeting his. I'm not looking for a total commitment, just someone to enjoy mutual interests with. I plan on dating him, not his family.
Jupidupi
last year
My brother told me that the last two women he met whom he thought had potential didn't want to make time for anyone but their grandkids. He's looking for someone to go out and have fun, hasn't had a drink in decades is nervous about using a dating site. I told him to go on meetup.com and he joined a book club. It turned out to be all married couples. Too bad you don't live closer to Florida!
jill302
last year
My father who was 70 met his last wife, #3, online. She is a lovely person. It probably took my dad dating different women for about a year before he met my step mom. They were together 13 years until my Dad passed away. She met her current partner online too. It can work but not necessarily quickly and is likely not for everyone.

My neighbour has a blind date tonight

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