Speaking of old men, here's another good one: An old man turned 115 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl of about 19 served the old man and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and running errands for them. "Are these your grandkids?" the reporter asked. "Naw, sir, they all be my younguns," the old man replied with a sly grin. "Your kids?" said the reporter. "What about this beautiful young lady who keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your children too?" "Naw, sir," said the old man. "She be my wife." "Your wife?" said the surprised reporter. "But she can't be more than 19 years old." "Thass right," said the old man with pride. "Well, surely you can't have a sex life with you being 115 and she being only 19," the reporter remarked. "Sir, " said the old man. "We have sex every night. Every night two of my boys helps me on, and every morning six of my boys helps me off." "Wait just one minute," said the newspaperman. "Why does it only take two of your boys to put you on, but it takes six of them to take you off?" "Cause," the spry old man said with a balled fist, "I fights 'em."

Love all the funnies....both my daughters are blondes and they get a kick out of the "dumb blonde jokes".This is my daughters favorite: There was a typical blond. She had long, blond hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blond jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "That's a nice flock of sheep," she said. "Why thank you," said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman. "Okay," replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman. "Sure," said the sheep herder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382." "Wow," said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you." "What is it?" queried the woman. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Geez... sounds like OUR state. Unbelievable!

Bastian has another year until kindergarten -- at least. He is a Sept 19 baby, so he misses the Sept 1 cutoff and I have to figure out what to do w/ him because they admitted him to the 3's Pre-K last year even though he wasn't three because he is pretty advanced. So he'll be in 4's this year and will then age out of pre-K. I could start homeschooling kindergarten, but they won't let me register him... But, the relevant point is that no, I will not be dealing with teaching him while trying to manage the renovations!