I agree with the aspect of the post that says a twelve-year-old may have no idea of what they ultimately want or what their socio-sexual identity will end up being. Also that crushes and obsessions can be very intense but also very short-lived. The part that I don't agree with is that if OnMyMind's daughter is actually *not* a lesbian or bisexual (or whatever she wants to call it) that allowing her to explore her feelings on the subject instead of forbidding it, that simply being supportive will Convert her to a lesbian if she is really not. I have a co-worker whose children are very (much too) frank with her. Her son told her that he experimented sexually with his best friend on a couple of occasions. He said "I love him as a friend more than anyone else, and I suppose if I were gay, we would probably be together. I had to at least find out if there was some physical component to it. As it turns out I have No gay sexual interest at all, because if I Had it would have been with him.". Before and after he had various sexual relationships with women and is now married with a child. As open as he was, as open minded as his mother tried to be, as far as he took the experimentation, he is "100% straight" in his estimation.

I had to rub my eyes and pull my ears to open my ear canals to make sure I was reading and hearing this correctly: The most fanatical expression, I think, of wanting to deny history of the U.S. is that of those who would like to 'demote' Thomas Jefferson from his position as a "Founding Father" of the U.S.A. and as founder of the University of Virginia, among other accomplishments. Some have said they would be willing even to scrap! The Declaration of Independence in order to reverse or expunge his influence -- all because Jefferson was a slave owner and he might have fathered at least one child (perhaps more) with his slave Sally Hemings (who also happened to be his deceased wife's half-sister). In some minds it is settled: recent DNA testings of Sally Hemings's male descendants indicate someone in the line of Peter Jefferson (father of Thomas) fathered at least one of Sally's sons. It is very possible it was Thomas, but it's also possible that it was Thomas's brother or either of two nephews who were known to be in the vicinity. So the evidence is not conclusive. Is that reason enough to negate everything else Thomas Jefferson did? These same fanatics would like to see all monuments and memorials to Thomas Jefferson changed, including Mount Rushmore. They have floated the notion that the heads of Jefferson and George Washington, another slave owner, should be re-carved to represent more worthy presidents. The four with the most mentions are Franklin Roosevelt, John Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, and Barack Obama. I doubt that anything will come of it -- the hoopla has since died down a bit from about five years ago when I first got wind of it. I would say that nothing ever will be done that drastic, but now I'm not sure that redress seekers for grievances will ever completely let it go.

Missi- you are getting some great advice here. I did IKEA in our last home and it was fine. I wish I lived closer to help knock out building them in a day or so. I love the layout that benjesebride did with all that prep space to the right of your stove. It looks lovely! I would like to cook there. Here is what I did: (note:my husband does not DIY at all and did not lift a finger, but I always like to do things economically so I happily took on the brunt work). He would have been fine if I paid someone). I had 16 or so cabinets I ordered. I took over our 2-car garage for a bit. IKEA delivered the cabinets to me. I did go to the store to place my final order but arranged for delivery to my home. We live about 90 minutes from one. I checked and double checked my order when it arrived to make sure I had everything I bought. Believe it or not, every part, door, hinge, etc were all there. I set a goal to assemble only 2 cabinets per day (I had 2 kids under 2 at the time). Our old kitchen was still in tact, so if I could not meet my daily goal, I was under no pressure as we still had a functioning kitchen. A little more than a week later, they were ready to go for install, just waiting in my garage. I put an ad on Craigslist for my cabinets for free and a handyman guy uninstalled my old cabinets for me (for free!) and took them away. Demo done for free. Paid a couple handyman to install the IkEA cabinets for me (but it was easy). They were even amazed about the process. Whether right or wrong, I installed all the doors and drawers after the boxes were in place by myself, which took me only a couple more days (working around naptimes). I bought the cabinet door jig and even put all my drawer pulls and knobs on myself. You can do a lot of this yourself if you find DH resistant. It just helped me immensely to do a little bit every day BEFORE your kitchen is uninstalled so it is not so much pressure. We only lived there for 2 years but everyone raved about my kitchen at selling (we got 3 offers in 24 hours of listing) and they looked brand new still. The drawer glides were top notch. Keep your receipt! Hope that helps.

I was a military brat. One aspect of that, which everyone understands, is the moving about. Leaving friends, making new ones, lather, rinse repeat. The other aspect that isn’t acknowledged as much is that military kids don’t grow up around extended family. No aunts, uncles, or cousins. Grandparents you see at Christmas and maybe once during the summer. And to top it all off, I was an only child for my first 12.5 years, when my brother came along and began his own odyssey into de facto only childom. All that to say that I have always been comfortable with my own company. I’ve never seen anything wrong with it. I find Facebook has been helpful in at least allowing me to keep up acquaintance with folks from different patches of my life. Some from high school, a handful from college (true to form, I did 2 years at a jr. college and 2 at a University, never really being in either place long enough to establish real friendships), a few from my longest-tenured workplace as an adult. My closest friends are two women who lived in the neighborhood where I bought my first home when I was in my 20s. My time with that group of friends was wonderful. We all had so much in common and were working to revitalize an amazing little neighborhood. When I moved out west 4+ years ago I made it a point to actually WORK at maintaining my friendship with these two, and by association another woman who became part of our little group. We have a secret Facebook page where we can say whatever we want without fear of causing permanent family strife over politics. We’re unapologetic smart asses. And we typically try to get together at least once, if not twice a year. It usually involves me getting on a plane, but it’s worth it, even if we only sit on a screened porch, eat BLTs and comment on The State Of Things. These are the women I imagine growing old with, and they with me. One of our hobbies is scouting locations for a compound where we can all reside in our dotage. We’re not the kind of friends who talk on the phone daily, weekly or even monthly. But we’re good friends. i haven’t been good about making new friends since I got married 16 years ago. My husband doesn’t really have friends and relies on me for company and entertainment. I do have a couple of girlfriends here who I’ll occasionally have lunch with, but I’d like to do better by them, as well.