Let’s talk about funeral homes!
dedtired
last year
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What do I need to know about a Jewish Funeral
Comments (13)Good to see you chime in M. I was just sitting and thinking back on the day. I've been listening to the Flower Duet repeatedly. I need to know something is good in this world. The funeral was good in some ways, like lunch with C and M (who never does anything because she's so shy and I was greatly encouraged she felt comfortable enough to reach out), and we all needed each other, were there for each other. Oddly enough, I was trying to get my heathen husband to understand why I had an undying thirst to find the most appropriate shoes and felt comforted when my friends had the same drive. Even my jewelry and hair were conservative (uncharacteristically), along with garb, even though no one had said it. That said, it was all well done. No one said anything or did anything inappropriately that I saw. Best behaviors and respect abounded. Not that anyone would, but it was good to see him honored so well. Yes, many of the men in our "community" wore a yarmulke and I understood why. No women wore anything on their heads, not even his wife, mother, or sisters. He's reform; maybe that's why. As we went out to gravesite, I was near the back, I could see a line as long as any I've ever seen at funeral. I was struck by just how many lives he truly touched. Everyone said what I said, a selfless man who was to be revered. A physician, scientist and teacher. His discoveries will live on in those who take his work further. Lifeflight from our hospital coincidentally flew over as we walked the last mile. I didn't do the shovel of dirt thing, only because the line went on forever and my friends had reached their limit. If it hurts this much to lose someone I didn't really know (I thought I did!, but obviously not), how much is it going to hurt to lose someone like my direct boss, husband, son, day in-day out friends?...See MoreI'm home, and a word about funerals...
Comments (22)I, too, hate going to funerals but it is a necessary thing sometimes. When my wonderful father-in-law died we had so many people tell us they could tell we were a happy family by the laughter when the came to the viewing. My father-in-in-law was a happy man. We celebrated his life. When my oldest sister died 4 years ago we had so many people tell us wonderful things about her. She lived in a very small town. She loved the library. She was cripled up with Arty and her husband picked up books for her. The ladies kept track of what she had read and picked out books they knew she would love. By the time it was all said and done people had donated almost $10,000 dollars to the library in her memory. betty would have loved this. When I sent out my thank you notes I included a letter highlighting Betty life. She was always the first one to deliver food and send out thank yous and all to so many people. She fought so hard to stay alive but her body just simply gave out. She was at home and when we knew the time was near I packed my bags and told my hubby I would not be home when it was over. I am so glad I made the decision. It was sad but a wonderful time to share with her. she talked to all of us until about the last hour.. I miss her so.. Susie...See MoreQuestion about funeral luncheons
Comments (29)I come from a family in a state where farming was a big part of the history. Customs were developed in the days when people would not be in a major metropolitan area. When someone on the farm died there were multiple hardships. First, the death of the person meant someone was not able to perform the chores on the farm. Another hardship could be that if it was the cook in the family, there was the obvious hardship. And to attend a funeral often meant traveling a long distance for many people and it wasn't just fly in and rent a car, or drive a few minutes or a few hours. It was horse and buggy and slow going. SO, therein lies history of how some of the traditions started. Bringing food to the family helped them out. Today, obviously, that is not such a big issue since you can buy ready made meals, get deliveries and more. The idea of a "lunch" after a funeral was to feed the travelers. Many would come a long distance and there weren't the drive-thru windows and restaurants along the way to grab something. Packing food for the trip was inconvenient so it was a nice gesture to feed them before they would leave. Again, this tradition has become obsolete as to necessity but a lot of people like to go with the old traditions. Seldom in a metro area have I experienced the food after the funeral. Often funerals are held in funeral homes and they don't have catering facilities. (Although I imagine the crematory could make a wicked pizza oven!) Smaller towns however it often is the norm to serve something, usually at the church or at some other place. Most of the small churches have kitchen facilities. There's still usually a "Ladies Aid" or "Ladies Axillary" who handle the food in various ways. Either they make it or they buy it, depending on the place. Otherwise, they're often catered. However catering isn't always like a huge formal wedding type of catering. For instance at my aunt's funeral it was "catered". The caterer provided an electric roaster full of scalloped potatoes and ham, canned corn, apple crisp, bread and butter, coffee, water and I believe something like a punch or lemonade. Not fancy but it met the tradition. When people close to me die, one of the last things I'm thinking about is eating. I really don't appreciate when people bring food for several reasons. Often it's not stuff I like or even should be eating (canned glop green bean salad for instance) and I'm just not hungry. I don't have to keep my energy levels going for farm chores. Things have changed. I agree with Archie Bunker on things I really dislike. Hospitals, weddings, funerals and opera. I don't like the morbidity of most traditional funerals. I prefer the "celebration of life" type of memorial. One of the best memorials I've attended was at a good friend's service. He was a television broadcaster for a long, long time and was inducted into the Broadcasting Hall of Fame. The Hall of Fame respected him so much they invited the widow to have the memorial at their building and they opened it special for that use. They also put together a great compilation of some of his broadcasting over the years and made room for chairs to have a sharing of memories and some of the other "celebrities", family and friends shared stories about him. It was hilarious and heart-warming. For food, the widow felt there needed to be refreshments so there were snacks, sandwiches, cake, etc. They had some of his items from his military service, old publicity items and the like. Sad to lose a good friend but he lived a long and very full life. He was catholic but became a reformed agnostic. So he was cremated. They also had a similar service in the small town where he lived the last 15 years or so and a priest or minister participated in that memorial but, being nearly 4 hours away, and with physical issues I couldn't attend that one too. Long-winded, I know, but the point I'm making is that traditions have changed a lot over the years, primarily due to peoples' choices, sometimes peoples' selfishness and a lot because the old ways just aren't needed anymore....See MoreLet’s talk “appropriate”………
Comments (164)Oh yeah I don’t think I had a manicure or pedicure until I was probably 35! I am horrible at shaping nails and my cuticles grow huge, so a manicure is great. I don’t have super long nails, and I usually just do regular polish though I will do gel manicure for travel sometimes. I love the foot massge with pedicures. I’ve asked DH to join me for a pedicure, but he’s not interested nor is MIL in joining me for either so I just go alone. No tattoos. We are probably the only un-tatooed people at any rock show we go to LOL. I would definitely get something of all my cats if I did. I’ve seen some super cool ones of cats, either line draws or something really whimsical or realistic....See Morededtired
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