Difficult Radon situation - advice needed
Elizabeth
3 months ago
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Elizabeth
3 months agoRelated Discussions
Need some advice on a situation
Comments (1)Direct link to the thread below Here is a link that might be useful: Link...See MoreDifficult ex-wife- a different situation
Comments (11)I agree with what Cat said. I've been with my DH for 5.5 years, and we got married this past September. He has a 6 year old son, I have a 6 year old daughter. My DH's ex sounds very similar to your DH's ex. I can tell you it really is an up and down battle, a roller coaster ride, and I think the best you can do is protect yourself emotionally and set clear boundaries. I went through the years where I wasn't "allowed" to go to birthday parties or soccer games or Christmas programs and it was awful. Then DH started standing up for me and insisting that I be present, but BM (bio-mom) would do the same things you are describing. At one YMCA Christmas program when my SS was 3 years old, his mom told me and DH (thank GOD the kids were out of ear shot) that if I so much as LOOKED at her, she was going to "claw my eyes out." I really think she would have. Things have been constantly up and down. She would start being nicer to me and I would think we turned the corner, but then for no apparent reason she would flip out again and the drama would start all over. I finally, finally had to end all communication with her. I sadly have not attended any of SS's soccer games this fall because I refuse to put myself in a situation where I will be verbally abused or berated or insulted. As of right now, we do things with SS when he is with us (karate) and BM doesn't attend---so he hasn't noticed so much that I am "absent" from soccer because BM isn't at karate when he's with us. It is sad that my relationship with him is "limited" due to BM's personality, but--like I said--there are things I just won't tolerate. I can take the nasty looks or silent treatment, but no one will be verbally abusive and rude to me. It sounds like your BF is supportive and that's good. One thing to really be wary of is a man that just wants to "keep the peace." My husband ws like that for a long time (as in allowing BM to forbid me from attending events) and I finally had to say either stick up for US or I'm out... It certainly won't be an easy road, but I think you can do it. In some ways, it helps that the kids are older and more able to see the situation clearly, although I do think they will always "protect" their mom. That's natural. My SS was not even 2 when I started dating his dad, and his mom TRASHED me to him from the get-go. So he and I had a very rough road. It was really sad because you could (and still can) see the guilt/torment on his face, wanting to like/love me, but feeling like he was being disloyal to his mom by doing so. His mom still tells him, to this day, that he doesn't have to listen to me because I'm not his mom, and other such things...SIGH. Luckily, he is very intuitive and has matured a lot over the last few months and is becoming more certain about the fact that he does love me. He recently told his mom (while I was out of town) that he loved me and missed me and didn't care if that made her mad--WOW! She guilitiy reported this to my DH and the counselor. I tihnk the more you can do to not let BM get to you, the better. Some counseling for you and your boyfriend, if he's willing, is not a bad idea....just to figure out how to navigate these waters!...See MoreVery difficult and challenging kitchen. Advice please!
Comments (25)shanghai.. thanks so much! so nice of you to say. I think this new kitchen has huge potential - it is just so tricky with the chimney and also stairwells separating the kitchen from the other parts of the house. I guess we'll see how it progresses. I have to commit to a floorplan first. bmore, -- can the w/d hide in the bp somewhere? odd, I know unfortunately not. when entering the bp from the kitchen, immediately on your left is a cabinet - it has a false front which is hiding headspace for the basement stairs - and there isn't much headspace to start with so I really cannot push this back at all. on the right as you enter the bp is a bank of cabinets and a sink. the sink is huge, a big 36" kohler cast iron sink for a room that is only 72" wide! way too big. we will keep a sink in there - it has been very handy. the kids brush their teeth there before leaving for school and we have filtered water over there so they can help themselves to water anytime. I will try to post some pictures of the bp so that you can get a sense. the cabinetry hiding the basement stairwell headspace is so funky you can't even believe it. having the W/D out in the open in that utility space doesn't bother me. Obviously in Plans 2 and 3 it is pretty well hidden which is nice, but even in Plan 1 as long as I can't see it from the kitchen I am okay. I do laundry every day so I don't want it behind doors as I want the easy access to it. -- Can the basement door have a surface mounted sliding door? probably.... this would be worth investigating as that doorswing is CRAZY making. -- Get the tall things not to be between you and the door? exchange the table and the ref stuff? will try this next along with Brian's idea on #2 - ran out of time earlier today. hinge the exit doors on the other side (on the bp side)? if I do this I will have to move the casing down toward the sink wall such that door when open is not obstructing the opening to the bp (as I have shown in plan #2 above). The wall space to the right of the opening to the bp is only 22" and without the option of moving the doorway over (because of the above mentioned basement headspace issue) I am limited here. can you move the bp door at all? I can widen it a little which might alleviate the log jam we are feeling in this space as it is a major traffic pattern. On the left side I can pull it back about 5". On the right side maybe about 5" as well. I am trying to go for a little bit more of a contemporary look so I might try to tone down all the heavy duty casings in this space. From that standpoint I love the idea of the basement door on a sliding track. I have seen them by Fleurco for shower bathroom doors....maybe could be used in this application as well. florantha, do you mean over where the W/D currently resides? if so, no this is not even remotely a possibility as there is very little set back. This house is an 1850's sea captain's house in the village section of my town. Very cute and quaint but not a lot of space for bumping out (because of set backs, etc.). if you have any other ideas or that is not what you meant please let me know. thanks....See MoreDifficult Conversations; Difficult Decisions
Comments (98)A big hug to you, BBS. I am so deeply sorry to hear of your loss. As others have said, please be gentle to yourself and put aside any second-guessing. As others have also said, we need to have these discussions not just once. When we are younger, hale and hearty, we all think we know what we would want. But the will to live is very very strong, and people do sometimes change their mind when it is no longer hypothetical....See MoreGN Builders L.L.C
3 months agoElizabeth
3 months agoElizabeth
3 months agoElizabeth
3 months agoElizabeth
3 months ago
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