Thanks everyone for your support. I know I need to leave but I suppose I've always been a sucker to help people. Amber - Thank you for your words. You are right, the only person I can save is myself. I suppose the battle is really working up the courage to say enough is enough. I struggle because I hate hurting people or feeling like I am letting them down but in the same regard I suppose by me doing things for my partner, he will never do anything to help himself or his son. Colleenoz - thank you for your kind words. I never thought about it like the way you put it. Seeing that he could turn like that if something bad happened to me is some what alarming. Because when I think of the answer to something happening to me and would he be there, I can't answer that. And if I can't answer that, then there is a real big problem. LaVerne - Thank you for your comment. Do I want to change? Yes i really do, so I guess I know what I have to do. Reading Lady - Sadly this situation is real, it would be nice if I was making it up but unfortunately I am not. I know everyone on his mother's side has bi-polar and basically have lived their lives in and out of either jails or foster homes. Sometimes I think the cycle can be broken but in the same regards, it's not my responsibility to have hero complex (i.e. trying to save everyone). Let me just say this, I know that none of you know me from a bar of soap, which in turn makes you more truthful. I appreciate your honesty and i thank you for your wisdom. I know everyone goes through hard stages in life, but you are right. If I am not happy with the situation, then only I can change it. I think it's time for me to worry about myself and get back what I want. If I succeed (and I truly hope I do) than please know every little word by each of you contributed to giving me strength. You all really have no idea how much you have put my mind, heart and bank balance at rest.

Hi everyone, thank you for all of the comments. I do appreciate everything that has been written and all of the suggestions and points brought up. The thing is, my mom and dad have worked hard their whole lives and if this is something they want to do, I am in no position to tell them otherwise and wouldn't dream of doing so. My mom hates the short cabinets (not the cherry) and as this is her dream house otherwise, she is not going to budge on the idea of updating -- especially when she would prefer to stay in this home as long as possible rather than buy new. I guess I don't see it as wasteful if this is something she wants and again, I have to reiterate that when they eventually do go to sell, being a little fresher will not exactly hurt them; on the contrary around here in this particular market. As for the goofy photoshop I posted, none of those things were my suggestions or even set in stone...we were just playing around with ideas and especially wanting to look at the stacked cabinets. So not really trying to be trendy with the marble etc., just grabbed a lighter counter to use for the photo because I know my mom intends to lighten things up on the counters and backsplash. And again, the cabinets in the photos are darker looking than they are in real life so I'm afraid they are not the best representation. I have to admit I am kind of finding it amusing everyone on a decorating/remodeling site is advising against remodeling this kitchen even when the owner wants to, but I do understand your reservations and in many other cases, I would totally agree with you. Real estate wise, I've lived in areas where it didn't matter at all and I've lived in areas where it does and unfortunately (or fortunately if you actually enjoy the process), the latter is the soup of the day around here. I'm in the midst of a master bath remodel right now myself and it's downright addictive so I get why my mom is into the idea, though. Anyway, again, thank you very much! I will answer some comments below: Nosoccermom - "I do like your proposed changes. The only thing that I personally would prefer is a more streamlined (non-wood) hood, but it sounds like your mom likes the one you propose. I'd also put a built-in microwave in that empty fridge spot and perhaps a coffee station rather than the solid wood cabinets/drawers there, maybe even some open shelves for cookbooks." I actually would prefer it if she went with a metal range hood myself and she is actually thinking about going that way. Everything is still very much up in the air...she had just always thought she would like a wood mantle hood but seeing as she wants to mix the traditional with a touch of modern, some more sparkle would be a great idea. As for the microwave, it's actually in a drawer on the island but that spot by the fridge, she's been thinking about tall glass cabinets or open shelves there and some small drawers underneath which are actually not drawers but a flip up area for coffee etc. Hard to describe and my picture wasn't at all what she had in mind. Thank you for your suggestions! Fishymom and Javivwa, the two tone white and cherry is a non-starter not only because of my dad, but my mom is not a fan. I've seen some pretty versions of it though so I know what you're talking about and that's definitely a good option. I do think she was considering a creamy white island possibly but again, just in the talking stage. Thanks again! Sophie, in this particular area, unfortunately this kitchen is considered outdated...especially the short cabinets. Even the new cheap houses here have tall cabs so they're pretty much expected in the price range this home would be at. My mom is not into fads. In fact, she generally goes the opposite direction, so she's not really wanting to remodel to keep up with the latest trend. Again, it's both for her enjoyment while she lives in the home and when she does sell, the updates will not hurt. They never do unless they've gone horribly wrong, generally speaking. :-) Thank you for the suggestion! Kimberly, my mom is about the least wasteful person on the planet and she has done more for people in her lifetime than I will ever be able to do, so if she wants to remodel her kitchen, I don't think she's being wasteful; I think she's finally doing something for herself which I wholeheartedly applaud. She's certainly not doing it to follow a trend, she's doing it because she wants to and I don't see an issue with that. I'm sorry that you do, though. Thank you anyway. Elizard, yes, definitely all new hardware and lights etc. Jewelry is always important to a girl:-) And quartzite has actually been talked about so definitely an option, thank you! Jillius, thank you for the comments! Not sure if you saw up above but the cabinets are not that dark in real life. I understand what you mean about looming though and with the 10 ft ceilings and lighted glass as well as the cabinets that aren't that dark, it won't be quite as dismal as it might appear. I love the idea of mixing up a new material for the hood and I am definitely hoping she trends that way in the end. I really think that would help on a lot of different counts. As for the backsplash, that was just a mock up to use something lighter so definitely not the end choice or anything. I think you bring up a good point with that, however i know my mom is pretty set on keeping it all fairly light so we'll just have to see what kind of counter material she settles on and go from there I suppose. Anyway, thanks again everyone! This is the best place and I really do appreciate the time you've all taken.

Nicole my daughter, 10 uses her bath bombs in the shower. She also makes smaller shower bombs for her friends because many of her friends do not like taking baths that much or between school and sports have little time before bed to take a bath. They put them on the floor in the water stream they bubble the feet and add aroma therapy with the steam. I opted for a steamy large jetted shower over a bath tub. Initially I wanted a pretty soaker tub with air jets but they were all much shallower than my main hall bath's 1920s tub which is actually a shorter distance from my side of the bed than my master bath tub would have been anyway. So we saved the money and added loads of storage and extra shower heads instead of a master tub. I thought I would still be using my hall tub weekly like I use to but I find using the jets and than sitting on a bench in the steam to be ten times more pleasurable than the bath. I have only used the tub once last year. My kids prefer my shower now to baths as well.

What's in the armoire? I would place it opposite the fireplace to serve as a visual counter balance to it. Then put your TV on the former armoire wall, above a credenza 25% wider than the TV. Hang large art 5" above the mantel. Use your sofa table behind the sofa without the buffet lamps (do you have a formal dining room for them?) Remove the bergere chair as it doesn't fit the casual feeling of the other seating pieces. Do you have a foyer where it would be pretty? Put the large armchair in its place. Try a new, more casual feeling rug and drapes. Replace all the other art and photos with new art. Hang pieces centered 5' above the floor or 5" above furniture. Upgrade all the lamps and add a nice ceiling fixture in place of the fan. If you like the idea of a mirror above the mantle, you could install a pretty chandelier to be reflected in it.