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amylou321

Wishful thinking......

4 years ago
last modified: 4 years ago

Is there something about yourself or your life that you CANNOT change but wish you could?

I wish I wasn't so friggin ticklish! My poor feet and legs are often sore and achy. I bought a wonderful foot massager to help, but I often find myself squirming around because I am so ticklish. I sit through it as best I can because it does help take the ache away, I just do not like the process. My SO will rub my feet for me too, and he is pretty good at not setting the tickle attacks off, but every once on awhile, he hits a spot that makes him end up having to dodge my kicking. I can't help it! And FORGET about trying to rub the ache outta my legs. I cannot take that AT ALL! I hate hate hate it so much!

When I was in middle and high school I used to wish I wasn't so tall. I got over that though. But while in school it seemed that every other girl around me was so short,cute and petite. It made me feel like a big oaf of a giant. I am 5'8". Once I got out into the real world I realized that I am fairly average, height wise. Also, oddly enough and for no reason I could think of, once I got out of the sheltered life of private Catholic school and home life, my self confidence absolutely sky rocketed. So now I would not change my height. I like it.

I would, however, change my toes. All of my toes, except my pinky toe, are a good bit longer than my big toe. How they look doesn't bother me, but it makes finding comfortable shoes difficult. They either fit my toes comfortably, but are too big and cause a blister on the back of my heel, or they are snug enough to avoid the rubbing blister, but squish my toes so they are sore. I wear a lot of open toe shoes and flip flops. And yes I have had shoes professionally fitted. They are as frustrated as I am with my feet.

I suppose I wish I was younger. But not because I dislike getting older as a concept. Aging to me, is a privilege that no everyone gets to have, so I take the bad parts as best I can. I am not old. At all. But there are times when I am reminded that I am not able to do a lot of things easily that I could do even 5 short years ago. I am somewhat dreading putting up my Halloween display at work this year. I am excited for it, but I know that for a whole week after, I am gonna to be sore from head to toe and even to the ends of my fingertips. (All that tearing of gorilla tape and painters tape) It was not like that until last year, maybe the year before. I used to be able to do the decorations, and be done in time to go on my 15000 step midnight walk. Now it takes me all 12 hours to so the same display, and a full week to recover from it. IT IS RIDICULOUS. I used to haul huge heavy bags of dirt and mulch with little effort. Now I cant even carry a bag a short distance. Tomorrow, I have to take the Earl and the Duke to the vet for their yearly once overs and shots, and I am working tonight and tomorrow night. Five years ago, I could take the loss of sleep like a CHAMP. But I already know that tomorrow night I am going to be miserable and exhausted. They are both overdue and it is hard to get an appointment for something routine like this at my vet or else I would reschedule. But I would rather get it over with and deal with the consequences. I wish I could get by fine with 4 or 5 ours of sleep like other people seem to be able to do.

What about you?

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