Black Tie Optional Wedding
rubyclaire
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Black Tie Invited
Comments (8)According to Miss Manners, a dark business suit is "correct" even if the invitation says simply "black tie." But that is just the "rule" -- it doesn't do you any good if you feel underdressed. I always try to guess (or I ask) what the hostess is envisioning. Is her dream of a very fancy event? Then I will dress for that. She's usually the one who cares most anyway, and hosts treasure guests who help make the party happen the way they dreamed, don't you think? And it is a sign that you are taking their event seriously if you bother to dress for the occasion (whether that means dressy clothes, a costume, or whatever they seem to want). We just got another invitation that said "Dress down!" Somehow I didn't like that -- what would be wrong with "Casual"? I can't put my finger on it, but I felt kind of bossed by that, and my daughter did, too. Or maybe it felt sort of like the hosts were criticizing or judging people who have fancy parties? I don't know, but somehow it hit us funny. Big coincidence: I was just about to write that just this morning, someone called me to ask whether she should write "dressy" or "black tie optional" or something on her invitations. I told her that although I think people really do appreciate guidance so as not to feel self-conscious, I had just received an invitation (not the "dress down!" one) that didn't say anything about dress code, but the formality level of the invitation and the time and location of the event (Sat. night at a nice country club) made it clear that it is dressy but not black tie. Well, I happen to be sitting in a cafe right now, and just now the hostess who sent that invitation walked by! So I asked her, and she confirmed: very dressy but not black tie. Just before I typed THIS paragraph! I guess what it comes down to is that usually people in a community understand what dress is expected -- it has more to do with custom than with what the same words might mean somewhere else. But it's a problem when you are from a different community; you don't know the customs. So in that case, I would call the hosts and try to get a sense of what they are envisioning....See MoreWould you wear this to a black tie optional gala?
Comments (31)At first I didnt think the dress worked, but after reading some of the comments, and reading where you said it is silver (as opposed to gray which is what I thought),and picturing it with dressy accessories- ie strappy sandals, purse etc, I think it would work. I too have a big aversion to having to buy something for an event- sounds like you don't love shopping and you do love that dress....See MoreThem that's got shall get
Comments (56)(promising no essays was really premature of me..)) We say, half jokingly: "Beauty is a brutal force" Yes, it is. It won't neccessarily save you too. But I do remember people and faces from decades ago. Beautiful people. They stayed with me even if I saw them for a minute..they became, in some strange way, a part of my memories, my life. I remember me being on a subway when i was a teen (and obsessively ironed my clothes btw..we do iron clothes of course in our family, but nothing compares to that degree of fierceness I ironed with, when I was a teen. I'm not sure you'd drive the right conclusion from that. You'd just see somebody in well ironed clothes). I saw that strikingly beautiful girl sitting across. A bit older than me, maybe by several years. The subway was almost empty. The girl was this exotic, unforgettable type of beauty..the one that sweeps you off your feet. Everything about her felt exquisite..even a little bit other world. Magical. Yet she was immensely sad. She was very pale, and she didn't care about anything, deeply immersed in her thoughts. She looked heart-broken. And I remember my own surprize, at this huge contrast between her being so strikingly beautiful-and so immensely sad. I understood, in my head, that beautiful people can be very sad. They live life, life gives you all sorts of things to deal with, and no feeling is final(c) But in my heart, I was like a little kid, from that widely popular children's song in Israel I learned later, that seems to be children's song yet one can easily carry it through life because against our best jugdement, still applies somehow It goes smth like that: She's the most beautiful girl in the kindergarten, And she has the most beautiful eyes, in the whole kindergarten, And her braid is the prettiest braid, And her mouth is the prettiest too. And the more one stares at her, the more one understands: -There's nothing to talk about, She's really the most beautiful girl in the kindergarten. And when she smiles, I smile too, And when she's sad, I can't understand: -How she can be sad, being the most beautiful girl in the kindergarten?.....See MoreBlack Tie Invited
Comments (14)So, I bought a dress. at deep discount. Knee length, burgundy lace, with a burgundy liner, with long bell sleeves. The saleswoman told me, that I should wear sheer black pantyhose, with black shoes. I am not sure I agree with that, especially the black hose. The back zipper is a gold exposed one, so I can't wear silver shoes, I was looking online for burgundy satin shoes, but there isn't much to choose from. Any thoughts about shoes and accessories?...See MoreZalco/bring back Sophie!
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