I think black tie optional events are a scourge. My cousin's wedding invitation stated that and her mother, my aunt, said all the men would be in black tie. Not so. Only the wedding party were in black tie (and it was some rented costume with matching vests, so my husband looked like a waiter.) Fortunately I wore a cocktail dress.

Black tie "invited" sounds odd. I wonder who thought that up and why, when it means the same as black tie optional.

I would think that a nice cocktail dress would be perfect. Your could also contact the venue to ask what is typically worn by guests.

We were fine in formalish black suits and plain colored silk ties at my niece's wedding and there were regular suits as well. And women had on dresses from barely there to floor length.

I think that this is now more than anything a signal to the men to wear an actual suit and tie rather than being too casual. Women's attire at most events is rarely the issue.

Your question reads as if a "cocktail dress" is always long. That is not my understanding. Last year my nephew was married formal attire was requested. Many were in shorts--at a church wedding. I dont' even understand it when the MOB or MOG wears a floor length dress so no way would I anticipate guests making that purchase. It's a new world--do what you want!!!

So, I bought a dress. at deep discount. Knee length, burgundy lace, with a burgundy liner, with long bell sleeves. The saleswoman told me, that I should wear sheer black pantyhose, with black shoes. I am not sure I agree with that, especially the black hose. The back zipper is a gold exposed one, so I can't wear silver shoes, I was looking online for burgundy satin shoes, but there isn't much to choose from. Any thoughts about shoes and accessories?

How about beige/nude shoes with sheer nude hose?

I like the look that they are showing for Blake Lively

http://myfashionwants.com/what-color-shoes-to-wear-with-a-burgundy-dress

Sounds like they are not 100% sure the black tie is coming, but he has been invited....I think maroon sounds pretty. If you need to wear hose, I would do nude with nude shoes. If you can do bare legs, either nude or black.

Or a taupe color shoe would be fine too.

I think nude stockings with a black pump would look great. I like the way black grounds a colorful outfit.

I have some nude/taupe slingbacks that I don't get to wear often enough.

Again not my comfort zone so if you too don't care to go with bare legs nude seems to be the only on trend options. Black or nude shoes are always appropriate.

Thank you for the suggestions,everyone! I am going to get nude, wine, and black evening shoes and try them all with the dress, to see which looks best. Definitely sheer hose. The wedding is in December, so I won't be going with bare legs.