Good luck!

I'm working on reducing my labor in the yard. That hell strip between the sidewalk and curb makes me crazy. It's a pain to water. It's a pain to edge. It's a pain to mow. That grass is going and something really low maintenance is going in.

I did a pretty good decluttering inside this winter, but I'm kidding myself if I think my shed is okay. I'll tackle that soon.

I feel your pain, my husband keeps everything.

I'd let the grandson keep his cars. My husband is still put out with his mother for getting rid of some of his things 70 years ago! As for the rest, I know it's hard, but necessary.

Strike while the iron is hot, while you're pepped up to do it! The results will be worth while. DH and I realize that every horizontal surface in the house is subject to clutter-dumping. Reducing the amount of table, desk, shelf space lessens the temptation to "just set it there for now."

If i can only say one good thing about myself, its that i do not allow too much clutter to accumulate and i deal with it regularly. I just can't stand the feeling of something useless taking up perfectly good space. The sentimental stuff gets me, though.

So, go at it and be ruthless. Don't dither over stuff. Ask yourself if an item is worth five minutes of your time deciding what to do with it. Just do whatever comes to mind first — toss or donate or recycle. You go girl!

@norar_il there's about 1000 cars in four totes. He can keep a few, but he hasn't touched them in over a year. They're collecting dust. The other 990 can go.

I have the bed itself cleaned off. I boxed up all the baby clothes I was going through (I kept a few keepsakes) but they're ready for the second hand store. Advertised a couple things for sale on marketplace. but I can see the top of the bed now.

@cooper8828 I don't even want to talk about my yard. It used to be so beautiful, but my husband keeps bringing home things and it's filling up. It looks like a junk yard. I sat outside on my swing for five minutes last Sunday before getting so overwhelmed by all the junk he's filled my yard up with and came inside and almost cried. I worked so hard to pay this house off early (I made 95% of the mortgage payments) only to have him do this so I feel so disrespected and he knows how I feel because I let him have it that night and again the next morning. ;)

Good timing! Not 20 minutes ago a junk company was here taking away an old couch, chair, and TV. We had set up for just the couch but before they arrived I looked around to see what else they could take. I’m turning my basement into what my sister is calling a she-shed but more aptly could be called a sew-shed. Also piling up things to sell at our neighborhood yardsale. Last year I did well at that, making a tidy sum.

Deb, my ex was somewhat like your husband. One of the first things I did after we split was clean out the basement and garage of his cr@p. I gave him plenty of time to come and collect what he wanted but he never did. Well, he did come in once while I was at work and took a few things. I was angry that he sneaked in but it was all his stuff and I was glad to see it go.

However, one time i was all set to hang new wallpaper in the powder room, had the table set up to go, etc and discovered he had taken all the paper hanging tools. He could have at least told me!

Later on he bought a cottage on a lake and after he died wife #2 and my son had to clear away a load of clutter. He also had a stoarge unit and, believe it or not, an airplane hangar with a plane in two pieces as well as other piles. He had been a private pilot, although due to health concerns he had not flown in years. My son was furious that he had left that mess behind for others.

So the moral of the story is clear out now, dont expect others to clean up after you and do it while you can. Your husband needs a kick in the behind!

I listened to Swedish Death Cleaning several years ago. I was facing the prospect of cleaning out my parents’ place. It all looked tidy, but behind the closet and cabinet doors were tidy but full spaces. Now I have to work on my own! I need a kick in the behind!

Turns out I can't do the toys when anyone is here. Both my grandson and my husband threw a knipshin and are both downstairs sulking LOL!!! My grandson saw me putting some toys into the donation box and he flipped out. My husband comes in and says to keep all the hotwheels. THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM. And they said he plays with them. NO! No he doesn't. The hotwheels garages (there are two!) are still sitting on the floor under the desk exactly where I left them 15 months ago! Now I need them both out of here for a few hours so I can just clear it all out on my own.

I did put a few things on FB for sale. One item is a set of vintage mid 70's dinnerware. I could sell for way more than I'm asking (4 6-piece settings). One plate bread and butter plate alone goes for $11.20 for ONE. I have four. Someone else is asking $48.71 for the same item! I have four dinner plates, four bread and butter plates, four cereal bowls, four dessert dishes, and four cup and saucer sets. I don't think $200 is asking too much. Is it?Myotts Festival Dishes

You said you had some in a specific place before? How much can you put down there? Once it's been 6 to 9 months, then, can you toss it?

@rob333 (zone 7b) that was my plan. Toss out what he hasn't used in ages. Well, not toss out, but rather donate. My husband went on about my craft room. Yes I have a messy craft room, but it's MY room that nobody goes into. The guest room is not a guest room anymore. It's a junk room. I'm just so frustrated. I'll post a photo of the "before I started" shot. Give me a couple minutes to get my phone.

Im really embarassed to show this publically. tons of stuffed animals for a hockey game were in bags. I condensed them into two large bags and they will be stored. Three boxes of baby clothes boxed up for donation. A few items are for sale. everything that is ready to go is MINE. I donated a truck load (i kid you not) 15 months ago 99% mine. But heaven forbid I ask anyone to get rid of their things.

Progress! I;m all for it. I am like ded, I regularly go through stuff and I know compared to most people I have less accumulation. However, the sentimental stuff is really huge. I have albums and albums and loose stuff and slides (!) from my parents and my inlaws. I go though that stuff periodically but I really can't spend more than like 20 minutes at a time doing that.

We did downsize 3 years ago and I did donate/give away so much stuff and it was great.

One thing I do remember when my kids were young, ( like your grandson).... I would just remove the stuff and maybe have it in my car or a bag in the garage for a while. Then I would give it away. They rarely asked for it but if they did, I would just say they must have given it away or they shoudl look for it.

The one thing my DD said to never get rid of- the Little Tikes plastic kitchen (she was born in the 80's). We did save it, and sure enough our grandkids play with it all the time whenever they are here.

But yeah, progress is a beautiful thing and keep the momentum going. I'm trying to get myself motivated to tackle the sentimental stuff- photos and lots and lots of papers. The good thing is they are pretty contained------ in one guest room and the basement.

I was trying to clean out upper cabinets this afternoon. You know, that stuff that gets put on the upper shelves you never use and is just taking up space, just in case.

I had already tossed out some spices and a few other things and had put some items in a box for donation. Wouldnt you know it, DH saw the box and snagged 2 things out of it he hasnt used in 10 years he just had to keep. One was a college logo insulated coffee mug that leaks but he must keep it. He has 2-3 others that he uses, so I just dont get it. Ugh!

My husband hoards paper. Like keeps anything not junk mail. At least he's organized about it now. It goes into a file cabinet with neat and organized files. I take stuff out when I have an office day, take it to work, and shred it. Admittedly, I am smuggling it out in my laptop bag. None of it has ever been missed.

I support you cooper!

I do eBay selling for a thrift store. One tip that might help you sell faster. Instead of looking at the price people are asking, scroll down (on eBay) and filter by sold items. In most cases, it will show what someone actually paid. As you've seen, prices are all over the map, but sellers can ASK whatever they want. What people will PAY is a different issue.

I hear you cooper! At the start of lockdown I went into my crawlspace and found bank checks and moldy invoices dating back 45 years. I actually took a few bags somewhere to pay someone to shred the papers. Burning out my shredder and buying a new one would have cost more. Now I have a policy that for every monthly statement that arrives in the mail ( husband insists on paper copies) another one from 10 years ago gets shredded. No more paperwork older than 10 years is kept.

I'm a maniac for not keeping unused things around the house---we both know we feel better mentally without clutter. Anyone want a 1960's era down filled sleeping bag that I recently found in a corner of the basement? It's going on local Freecycle site in a few days.

I feel your pain. Am overdue to clean out my closets soon. Fortunately the kid's stuff is long gone.

So far, so good, Deb. However, toss those stuffed animals you put in bags. You can do it now or you can do it when you are forced to do it. In the meantime, no one will look at them, I promise.

Deb, if you want to get rid of the hot wheels, list them for sale. They will probably sell fast.

One thing I learned when I moved to NYC is that, often, empty space is worth more than what you could be keeping in it. MY motto is, "When in doubt, throw it out." When I buy someting new, I get rid of something -- always -- even if it's just a pair of socks. When I'm shopping for clothes, I always stop to ask myself if I like it better than what I already have. Often the answer is no. If I do buy it, the older version gets jettisoned. I've sold a few things on Ebay, but usually I just put things in a garbage bin on my corner. There are always people going through the trash, and maybe finding it will make someone's day. It certainly makes mine to get rid of it. I once saw a homeless guy dressed in my old jeans and tee shirt.

I like a nice, calm, clean space and find it agitating and even depressing to be around clutter.

My sister-in-law was a hoarder. When she died, we literally had to get a dumpster in order to empty out the place. Let's just say that no one was thinking kind thoughts about her during the process. So many things that people think are valuable are only valuable to them, and will be a burden to everyone else.

Getting rid of excess is a wonderful, almost spiritual feeling. There's a reason why it's referred to as "lightening your load."

I agree with Marilyn_c about the Hot Wheels. I have no idea how old your grandson is, or how long he's had those cars, but they could be very collectible. They've always sold VERY fast at any of the estate sales I've been to. Depending on age, condition, etc., there could be some very valuable items there.

Congratulations on your accomplishment. I've been trying to do some downsizing, too, and getting nowhere fast. No one to blame, though, but myself.

Rusty

Why won’t you donate things? That is my #1 go-to to get rid of things I don’t use or want.

There’s a whole lot of needy people in this world, and if I don’t want it I would be glad for someone else to make use of it. Yes, I know some people are greedy and grabby and might just re-sell it. So what? It’s out of my house and that’s what I’m interested in.

Hi Deb, first of all, congratulations on making progress Forgive me as I do not know your story but does your grandson live with you? If not, can he take them to his home? Another suggestion (I have not read all of the replies so maybe this has been mentioned) would be to sell them and share the profits. Perhaps your grandson could help you take pictures and write the ad? Money might motivate him? That’s how we got rid of my son’s Transformers! Good luck with the hubby No suggestions there:)

I finally got dh to go through his dresser drawers, as they've become populated with more than just clothes. I suggested he get a shoe box for all the miscellaneous stuff that doesn't belong there and that he wants to keep. I've been hoping he'd do this for several years now!

I'm going through this now. Having moved to Florida from NY we brought some of our furniture which really doesn't work here. We had rented a large storage unit in Florida when we first moved and started house hunting. I'm still paying $200 a month for a large unit filled with bookcases, boxes of books, chairs tables, all sorts of things.

My husband was a physician and was required to save all his patient records for a minimum of 10 yrs. There are boxes on top of boxes piled to the ceiling of this storage unit full of patient records.

The house we bought is not as big as our past home and doesn't have a basement or second floor so there is limited storage space. Our son moved to Florida and had his own place, but moved to our house when Covid broke out. He was laid off from his job. I am grateful because it was when his father got sick and helped me out. So, his stuff is now in the storage unit.

I'm not sure how to handle the patient files. They have to be disposed in a private, secure way. Medicare and the American Medical Society have strict rules. So, I began bringing some of them home and looking through them to check dates. Very depressing for me as most notes are handwritten and show me what I already knew, that he was such a caring, compassionate doctor.

I looked into Staples and other shredding places but they don't allow me to be present during the shredding. These are very important documents, containing social security numbers, addresses, everything you put on medical forms.

So, I am torn between feeling that these charts are such a part of who he was and show a side of him his children have never seen. But I know they do not want to read them and I have to find a way to dispose all these charts and notes.

There is so much more of him still in the house, His music, his photos (he was a photographer) his sheet music, speakers, amplifiers.

My nephew offered to find a spot where he could burn everything. Again, I'd have to be present. Thought about it, but didn't feel comfortable doing that. So I have boxes, bins and stuff, all over the house. I'm stuck.

Sorry, I wrote too much. Deb's post hit a chord.

Jane

No offense, but I would not read through patient files and absolutely not offer them to others (family members) to read. As mentioned, there are strict rules in place by Medicare and AMA which would preclude such activity.

Your post reads as though your husband is deceased. If so, my condolences and I can understand your interest in this material. However, checking paperwork for dates is fine, but nothing else.

If you don’t feel comfortable making use of professional shredding services, buy a shredder yourself and have at it. Perhaps you could shred a box a day. Or half a box a day.

Jane, there are shredding services that will bring a truck to your house and do the shredding there. So difficult to part with something that feels so personal, but honestly you probably will not miss it once its gone.

Im sorry for the loss of your husband. It makes clearing out twice as hard.

I'm on your husband's and grandson's side. I have an almost six-year-old great-grandson and my studio became his toy room, Tonka trucks to stuffed animals and loads of books, those tiny cars, and tons of other stuff. First, he wanted to keep them all and then he relented a bit. He took the ones he wanted home and he said he would put them in his attic for when he has kids. Then he decided he would donate them as his Mom donates often so we gave lots to his 2-year-old cousin and the rest to charity. He was all smiling as we left.