Amy, I worked in HR for a long time. My advice to you would be to not say anything about her plans. I know it's an awkward situation and I'm sorry she's spilled her guts out to you. Let her show her true colors.

Honestly, if anybody asks you if you had any knowledge that she was planning on leaving, you should say no. This is the company's issue and not yours. I know there may be some challenges after she leaves but do you think she would do a good job of training her replacement? I would think not. She sounds rather spiteful. Let her play her game. You just keep being awesome you.

In response to your comment about her potentially throwing you under the bus, you could always respond that staffing is outside your pay grade and you did not think she was serious. In an case, it's not your responsibility to escalate any thing related to her employment unless there was something that was a direct violation of company policy.

You are not responsible for her behavior.

It would benefit me financially, as i would have to work tons of overtime to cover while her replacement is being trained. But it would not benefit me in the long term if she does disclose that I knew about it and they believed her. I am going to stay and work here hopefully until I retire and want it to be a fun as possible with as little trouble as possible. I do think they would believe her because their would be no reason for her to lie about something like that. We do not have any documented spats, and even if they cannot prove it, I think they would believe her because of that.

If there were no wsy to disguise your identity, as by for instance describing yourself as a social acquaintance who was offended by her blabbing of how she planned to s…. over the company, then I wouldn’t

mdln I’m shocked by your advice. If you or someone else made a mistake of some kind, would you attempt to cover it over if doing so was in YOUR best interest?

Keep mum. I would not accept the notion she told you anything worth repeating. She talks a lot and the line between fact and ranting is not for you to decipher.

PS I feel very sorry for the students who are about to be stuck in a room all day with her. Poor kiddos. They deserve better.

Take this for what it’s worth, my wife is a second tier HR executive ar a Fortune 500 company. I ran the scenario by her and she couldn’t have been more emphatic in saying don’t tell. She said it would be extremely unprofessional, it’s not your story to tell, and you have no idea if some circumstance should change where she doesn’t leave. For example, what if she‘s suddenly offered a new position in the meantime? Has second thoughts about teaching? Family issues where it’s better for her to stay for the time being? Anything.

And my addition would be that I’d rather be criticized and known for keeping confidence than sharing somethibg out of turn.

There is a possibility that your employer may already suspect something is going on if the school district she is going to checked references.

Office politics. Lol. To co-workerzilla - "Good luck on your new job. The company survived before you and it will survive after you. EVERYBODY is replaceable."

As far as her waiting to put in her notice, it is the companies problem not yours. 2 weeks notice is the norm. It is not your responsibility to tell them. Every company I've worked for can't start the hiring process until notice has been served.

I'd go with Dees_1's advice.

What if her future employer rescinds the offer? What if she's mistaken and there never really was an offer of employment? What if she gets cold feet about facing a classroom of 3rd graders, or about making less take-home pay, and decides at the last minute not to quit her current job? She's demonstrated to you already that she's not got a solid grip on reality, so why would you believe her now? I don't think you can take this person at her word. Don't take action.

Incidentally, the smartest man I ever worked for once said to never give advance notice of quitting. That's because once he gave his employer two weeks notice on a Friday, and his boss told him not to bother coming back on Monday because he was hereby fired. So boss went two weeks without a paycheck.

This old lady's advice is to "say nothing, do nothing, zip your lips and let the chit hit the fan wherever/whenever it does".

Agree wholeheartedly with foodonastump.

No matter how hard you try to convince yourself and us, you have nothing to gain by telling, but you WOULD open yourself up for a possible Egg in the Face incident. If she’s as sour and vindictive as you make her sound, how do you know she’s not setting you up?

Head down, mouth shut.

food, I'm sure your wife is an exception, but in my experience with dozens and dozens of companies that were clients, were Diogenes still with us, his search for "one honest man" in any employer organization would not best begin in either the Sales department or HR. HR people too often are the hatchet men (no gender limitation intended) who need to try to sell unwanted, bad or disappointing messages as instead being good news. "Yeah, you didn't get a raise, but think of it this way - you didn't have your pay cut OR get fired"

It's essential and probably for many, is a calling.

I'm comfortable with my comments, having spent more years as a supervisor/exec/co-owner than as a supervisee.

I'm with the majority. Keep out of it. She could be trying to "play" you to put pressure on the bosses for a new position, she could be having second thoughts about quitting, she could be doing just what she is saying. Regardless of her intentions, if two weeks' notice is the company standard, and that's what she wants to give, she's within her rights to do so. She doesn't have an ethical issue, so you shouldn't have one either.

As a manager in the past, I would not want to hear an employee tattling about another over something told them in confidence (unless it involves criminal behavior, of course). It's an inconvenience replacing an employee at short notice but it's also part of running a business. The more the employees can trust and rely on their co-workers, the better the business will operate in the longer term.

Okay. I won't tell. I will go with my anti snitch nature and just keep it to myself. In the end, I thought back to when a different ex employee quit, she only worked a 2 week notice, and we just simply worked the overtime until her replacement (which happens to be a the person in question) was trained. And then when our supervisor at the time died suddenly, and the current supervisor took over, we simply worked the overtime until a person was trained to take over his old position (which happens to be the above mentioned brat who also happens to be a relative of our current supervisor and a big mistake IMO, but I digress)

Thinking about it now, the reason behind me sort of wanting to tell goes back to when me and my supervisor were casually discussing the other night minion retiring. He kept saying that he wanted a long enough notice in order to have someone trained before he left, which really made no sense. But he was really really distressed about essentially not having control over the situation. But in the end it really is not my problem past the fact that I will once again work a ton to help out. And I will have to listen to the annoying high pitched whining from the supervisors relative about having to work her share. And the lower pitched whining of the other night minion being jealous because we would be getting all the overtime, and then protesting that he only wants overtime if it is on NIGHTS, and that I should give up my regular nights so he can work them and have overtime instead of the day person giving up her regular days (something she would willingly do) because he wants everyone to cater to him. I know this is a specific scenario but it is one I have lived through before when the former coworker quit with a two week notice.....

I actually think the supervisor wants to know when someone is leaving WAY in advance (such as in the other night minion retiring) simply to control overtime costs. He has done a few shady things that cut into MY bottom line in order to cut overtime costs, which affect HIS bonus. Which is another reason that upon reflection, I realize that no one here does me any favors and I do favors and extra for them all the time so this time they are on their own. I also think he fears having to put up with the wrath of his relative worker brat, who will most definitely throw temper tantrums when told she has to work extra, and may even threaten to quit herself if she is forced to do so...NOT MY PROBLEM MORE MONEY FOR ME!

In the end even if I were suspected of keeping a secret they cannot deny my history here. MY own work and conduct speak for themselves I guess.

And as an aside I also know the exact date that the other night minion is retiring and he plans to give a months notice at most, less than what the company and my supervisor want (they ask for 6 weeks), and I never considered sharing that info with anyone, and it makes me wonder why I would want to tell about her but not him......

So I will forget that whole conversation and go water my work flower garden.

Thanks everyone.

I think the words tattling and snitching lose relevance after elementary school. Employees do need to trust co-workers, this one is clearly not to be trusted or expected to care about anyone or anything but herself.

Yes Elmer, that is my conflict. While my supervisor is alright but not the best, the COMPANY has been very very good to me....And I am not sure the company would be as annoyed as my supervisor, so I wonder if it even matters...

And I trust absolutely NONE of my coworkers or boss. But it does not affect my enjoyment of my job or its benefits. They are horribly predicable. They are the reason I adopted my work philosophy: If you KNOW that they are not chit, then you cannot be surprised or upset when they do aint chit things. However, I am still constantly surprised at the levels they stoop to. This is just the latest and lowest so far this year.......

I wouldn't say anything, you really don't know how much of what she's saying is true. She may really REALLY think that if she tells them that she's going to quit, they will beg her back with some great promotion just to keep the world's greatest employee! HAHA!

"I think the words tattling and snitching lose relevance after elementary school."

Indeed they should.  Which is why the advice is not to engage in either in an adult workplace.

She probably has some inkling you dislike her in some way. The fact she is in because of some family connection seems like she has an ulterior motive to trick you with this confidence she told you. Her last gotcha on her way out. Why bite?

If you were to inform your supervisor that the employee is leaving, what would the result be? Would she be confronted? Informed that she would begin training her replacement on such-and-such a date? Would it be obvious to her that the tip came from you? Would your work environment become hostile? How difficult would your work situation be if she simply left as planned?

Your first loyalty is to yourself. Choose the lesser of two evils.

I'm curious what her degree is. Around here you have to have a teaching degree to teach kids in a school. Teaching degrees aren't really used to climb the corporate ladder.

Are you sure she isn't just hoping you are going to be the office gossip? As in telling you in the hopes that you will say something to a boss, perhaps in a bid to prompt a promotion to keep here there? Some people do that sort of thing, use another to try to push for what they want- particularly if they are already having difficulty getting a promotion or job change they want.

“HR people too often are the hatchet men (no gender limitation intended) who need to try to sell unwanted, bad or disappointing messages as instead being good news. "Yeah, you didn't get a raise, but think of it this way - you didn't have your pay cut OR get fired"

It's essential and probably for many, is a calling.”

That’s a pretty narrow view of HR. Not saying it doesn’t exist; in small and old companies especially it can be a purely task oriented job. I know my sister had to escape that culture before landing a CHRO job at a startup where she was definitely a strategic partner throughout its growth, going public, etc. My wife’s company is very HR forward as well, she has a voice in the senior leadership team, and she’s sought after by recruiters in part because of who she works for. Sure she’ll also be given a directive to find a way to cut $20MM in payroll, it comes with the territory but I wouldn’t say it was her calling.

Anyway, we’ve strayed off topic.

My opinion is keep it to yourself. To many things could happen in the mean time. What she told you may not be the truth but mad up. Also, if someone one fired or quits abruptly you would still be in the same situation correct? I see not difference here. Good Luck Pink girl! LOL

I find two things odd. The company appears to have too short a notice period for the nature of the work and she was able to gain a teaching job apparently without a teaching qualification. Are both those things true?

I would not snitch.

Nope. Stay out of it. I have never and will never tell an employer if someone has found a new job. Or is looking for a new job. Or will not give proper notice when leaving their job. Why? Because It makes me look like the bad person if the person who told me this doesn't do it. And if they do, it's between them and the employer. None. Of. My. Business.

This doesn't address your original question (I'm also in the stay out of it camp) but I wonder if this will cause any problems with her HR relative - I think they're sisters-in-law? I'm assuming it will fall on the HR rep to find another replacement and on short notice too.

“The company appears to have too short a notice period for the nature of the work”

Floral - Two weeks is standard in the US. Maybe for some jobs or some levels you’re contracturally bound to give more, but by and large it’s two weeks, regardless of the position. Anything more is an unexpected courtesy. Anything less and you’re intentionally trying to screw the employer.

“The company appears to have too short a notice period for the nature of the work” -- what FOAS said and also, management has a tendency to estimate a job's complexity based upon its position relative to other management. The good personnelists know not to fall into this trap, but the good ones don't win all the arguments.

I think @beesneeds may be onto something. Your co-worker has given some thought to this. Her initial plan to give advance notice and stick around to train her replacement would probably not generate the "LET THEM MISS ME AND BEG ME TO COME BACK" reaction she mentions when revising her plan.

Perhaps she wishes you to become an actor in her scenario to leak her intentions in hopes it would cause that response. She might be having second thoughts about taking this third grade teaching position; which, by her own admission, is not a dream job.

I also have this niggling voice wondering how she can get a teaching job because as far as I know you do have to have a degree in that field to be a teacher and take certain courses etc. Obviously I'm not an expert because I don't know the names of all these tests and courses in college that you have to have. I just know of a couple of relatives that are teachers and they had to jump through all sorts of hoops to be a teacher.

I am stuck on the idea that someone with an unrelated degree could teach a class of children. Those poor kids. I wonder if she is telling the truth about it? Perhaps she is an educational assistant or something?

I agree with the others that she might be trying to get you to say something so they beg her to stay. I wouldn't comply.

No. She is playing you. An old saying, " Not my monkeys, not my problem." If management says anything later, (if she leaves) (why would she take a job that pays less), just say, I don't gossip.

When I was in corporate life, I think it was just assumed that everyone was looking for an advantageous move/promotion/salary increase.

Years ago, I worked at a wonderful job, with a wonderful boss and team, and one morning, a higher management guy (outside of our dept) had xeroxed a 3 page list of all of the competitor companies around the country, complete with contacts and email addresses for various companies. Someone in our department found a copy still in our xerox machine, so made us all a copy, including our boss. We were glad to have it! Because sometimes companies go under (ours was eventually sold and liquidated), and an expectation of working in the same position or company or type of work for an entire career is not realistic.

In your shoes, I wouldn't say anything, because what this person says may not happen anyway. And if you don't care for her, you certainly didn't give off enough vibes to make her unsure of your loyalties. I haven't read every single response, but perhaps you might impress upon her the importance of giving enough notice, helping to train a replacement, and considering the impact of her departure on others. Be a good influence... that's all.

Some regions are hard up to find teachers and will just take any college degree . Before my DIL graduated she had many job offers from other states. I remember one state was Virginia. She choose to stay here close to family where teachers are a dime a dozen. With even obtaining a masters in education (science) she has been unemployed as much as she has been employed.

I agree with all the others who said "Don't tell", and you've already been given very good reasons for keeping it to yourself.

I wonder if this person has a teaching degree, and took this job when she couldn't find a teaching job ?

You’ve been given some thoughtful feedback.

First of all, I would not get involved.

Pull back a bit to get a wider view. You seem to be a very warm, helpful and social person. You conveyed early on that you did not particularly care for this person, so congratulate yourself on have a good antenna because her later statements to you confirmed that she was questionable.

Consider that you might be making yourself too available for a non-deserving person such as his coworker. If you detect something off about somebody, Be careful to remain objective and not let anyone a bad character lure you into their machinations. You don’t have to be rude or impolite, but don’t be too accommodating or approachable with someone who doesn’t smell right. You can be pleasantly neutral but too busy to engage.

This person is trouble. Don’t confront, don’t try to help, convince or change her. Just calmly register her self serving character, and not be available or get pulled in.

You are an honest, hardworking employee. You do not owe your supervisor beyond this. And, didn’t you suggest that he’s a bit in it for himself?

Be pleasant, courteous, professional and continue to stay focussed on your work and responsibilities. I don’t believe anyone is ever going to approach you, asking what you knew ahead and so on. If anything like that should happen, stay calm, polite, and don’t defend yourself. No need to. Have the attitude (to yourself, with confidence and calm), that unfortunately, while focusing on your work, you barely notice strands of chit chat or musings. You enjoy everyone, but like to get as much as you can done during the week.

Be pleasant, vague when necessary, and avoid giving off vibes to the non-team coworker that you are available for their confidences. No need to say it verbally, your calm, circumspect, work-focussed demeanor will get the message across.

So thanks again for the addition feedback.

Again, I have decided not to say anything. However, I would like to address some things that have been said to clarify.

I reject the idea that this is some sort of ploy of hers to get a promotion here somehow. Because there is no promotion that my boss or his can offer her. None. There is also zero chance that HR would somehow create a position for her to stay within the company. This company has very low turnover, and very high interest whenever a position does come open. They have never ever begged someone to stay. Its very much a "thank you, next" attitude here. She knows this. She is many things but dumb is not one of them. Her "let them beg me to stay" comment was her thinking that they will beg her to stay and help train her replacement, not beg her to stay permanently. I should have made that more clear in my original post, she did say that. She has made it quite clear that she does not want to work for this company anymore, as she says there is no chance for fulfilment or real growth here. And there probably is not for her. I think she realizes that she is not going to get her way. If her relative in HR was unable to secure her any of the other positions she applied for, she is not going to somehow stick her neck out to keep her here. I am firmly of the belief that this move she is making regarding the last minute notice is purely for spite, no other motive. She is very excited about her new job, and her future plans to build on it, with the greater hopes of being an administrator in a few years time. She is also greatly excited at the notion that our boss and particularly the other day person, who hates working her own shifts let alone anything extra, will be upset by it. They more openly dislike each other. I am able to hide my distaste most of the time.

I do not know what her degree is in. I never asked because I do not really care. I do know that there is a major teacher shortage, and they are absolutely hiring anyone with bare minimum requirements. I do know that she starts her Masters degree program next month, and has plans to get her doctorate after that. I do not know what those will be in either. Same reason as above.

I also FIRMLY and VEHEMETLY reject the idea that she hopes I am some sort of gossip. She has been here 5 years and I have never engaged in gossip with her. All of my coworkers vent to me about each other. They all say very unkind, even if true, things about each other to me, and I have never ever repeated them. And I do not engage in those conversations really just listen. I do not agree or disagree with what they are saying. I just listen and say that I understand why they are upset. If they ask me "did you here about this happening?" My answer is always no, even if I have, because while I like to know information, I do not really like to talk or titter about it with other people, least of all her, so she would have ZERO reason to suspect that I would say anything at all. I will listen to and receive all information and gossip, but I am typically not a source for that same information. It is for this reason that I feel like a lot of people tell me things that are really not my concern, even if they are interesting. I do not repeat it. Well, I tell my SO, because he is no gossip either. I always get all sides to every story without asking for them. In general I do not break confidences which is why I struggled with the morality of keeping this to myself vs informing my boss. One would protect her evil plans, the other would give him a heads up, neither would make a huge difference to me in the end. One way or the other, if it were known that I knew about it and did not tell, or if I did tell, someone will be upset with me. Either way I am satisfied in my decision.

If I am explicitly asked if I knew about it after the fact I will not lie. I will say, "Well she told me she was quitting but she also told me she was going to lose 100 pounds last year. She says a lot of things. But I am not her supervisor or HR so what was I supposed to do about it?" They cannot reprimand me for not snitching. But I will not worry about that possibility unless it comes up. Upon further thought, I do not think it will. As I said before, this company is never hurting for applicants. A couple rough months of lots of overtime is something I have done before and can do again, without complaint as long as my check hits my account on time every other week........

Obviously I think you’ve made rhe right choice. And the 100 pounds comment was hysterical.

Good, Amylou. I bet you feel better, and yes that 100 pounds comment is very funny.

Well, turns out this is all obsolete. Her family ended up ratting her out to her relative in HR. She told me it was a huge deal because her family had assumed that she had already informed the HR relative, because why wouldn't she? They had just kind of mentioned it in passing at a family event that she was excited for her new job and the HR relative ending up contacting her and asking her directly.

So there was no need for me to fret at all. They have apparently requested a formal resignation letter with her official last day, which she will be delivering on her first shift back later this week. And then they can start looking for her replacement.

My boss contacted me tonight when I got to work and asked if I knew of anyone I could recommend before they start just going through hundreds of random resumes and I do not. I told him I only have 1 request of them during their search: NO FUDDY DUDDIES! I do not need some stick up the backside fuddy duddy coming in here and ruining the fun over the holidays.... He assured me that they would keep them on a temp status at least until Halloween went up, and we can gauge their reaction, and know whether or not to keep or toss em. ( He was kidding I am sure, but I WAS NOT)

Anyway, just wanted to update!

That’s a relief. HR relative must be very annoyed at finding this info out that way.

interesting how that played out. I hope they find a great temp for you.

Well that worked itself out! That was a lucky break!

“He assured me that they would keep them on a temp status at least until Halloween went up, and we can gauge their reaction, and know whether or not to keep or toss em. ( He was kidding I am sure, but I WAS NOT)”

That’s funny - I was like ”seriously?!” until you said he was kidding!

she told me while its not her dream to teach, it is her goal to not work here anymore.

I can't imagine she will last very long in her new job. Teaching is a lot of hard work, and in my opinion there is a lot that isn't and really can't be taught in schools for teaching that teachers then must learn from experience, so the first few years are even more difficult.

Positions range from easy to hard. I don't think at the outset teaching is necessarily a cushy job, there are things to learn by trial and error as Lucille suggests. But judging from the teachers I know and have known, it isn't that tough a gig in the long run overall. It's not peaches and cream either but thinking of many tough and demanding jobs and situations I've known of, I wouldn't consider teaching to be in the upper half of the "demanding" range. It can often be at the top of the "frustrating" scale but that's something different.

PS to amylou - I'm glad that the flag of honesty/integrity was waved and that this person got outed. People with attitudes like that don't deserve to be successful with what they scheme to have.

FOAS, I think its a marvelous idea to wait to officially hire them until then. After all, one does want harmony in the workplace. I would hate to work with or even be on the same planet as someone who would be opposed to such fun! Can you imagine being such a fuddy duddy?!?!? Yuck!

But then again, that's a good reason that I am a mere minion, and not in charge of such decisions............

Back in the day I worked for a private school. A teacher told her principal she would be leaving. The principal acted on her WORD and began looking for a replacement. The teacher then changed her mind and when was told she had been replaced sued for unemployment. INTENTNIONS to not matter to THE LAW. Unless or until written resignation is received it's all just gossip and no one can act on any of it. It's best when everyone minds their own business.