dulci I'm so happy for you, yes the Lord will lead you though. I'm not on the site very much anymore because I just don't have the time. But was looking around today and saw your wonderful porch. (before) and then read your story. God can always find someone worse off them myself and your story has just inspired and renew me. (I guess I was setting here at work feeling sorry for myself) I too have a wonderful Daughter and three grandchildren but her choice of men has not been the best so I moved them into my home. Seems all I pay for is Attoney fee for her and now one for the grandchildren. Ex is really bad man, But I know that God will find and end to this 2 year battle where we all can be happy in the end. Sorry. Just wanted to say God Bless you and please keep the pictures coming. I so enjoy watching your progress. I agree with Seamommy on the PURPLE DOOR AWARD God bless Betty from Indiana

Hi all... im finally back I was out in the new yard pickin bricks (as crazy as that sounds.... its true) Tons and tons of them everywhere. Well Royce, you got it man! Thats EXACTLY what i was talking about. And i see where th differences in size can come into play. Yes the same patterned flower for three years in circulation @ 4"s then improved upon by the same patterned flower @6-7"s is worth introducing. or visa-versa in the case of minies. But the same is the same is the same is the same.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Especially if there are not dramatic differences in th plants, as in habit increase and otherwise. Even when looking at parentage and some of the same names come up? GEE i wonder how thats possible? THEY LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE!? are you for real? (rambling) OK nummama, here goes. If you take a look at the posts i have made (digging a hole, should i say grave for myself) where people have posted flowers/seedlings and asked for opinions, i do always try to comment. Take a closer look and you will see a pattern. I always remark on what i think the best is of the bunch, or the best part of the flower. Nothing else. Because they are my opinions and i would hate to hurt anyones feelings. Some people might post 8 dif. blooms... i comment on one. The rest are well i think we can all guess what i think! But in the same respect i EXPECT the same from you! On tinkers there is some-one i like alot. Rebecca. Dont know her but love her. When i post there sometimes (very seldomely) a pic of a seedling... i for the most part get ooohhhhss ahhhhhs, u know save face comments! She posts... i dont think that one is any good, all in all i looks like a composter! All i can do is laugh, but its true and its real, and upon further evaluation unless some miracle occours.... they endup in the horses mouth... my composter. On another note, i moved some seedlings last year, one of which was an 8" flat form opened real wide like a hibiscus, looked like one to, beautiful gold with burnt orange stipling on the petals almost a bi-tone..... Its no where to be found! I could kick myself... im so sick! well need to get back to the brick picking and whoever posts next, ill be sure to spread the CRAP adjective pretty THICK! G

We KNEW PJ had an ulterior motive for jogging. It's to check out the neighbors plants so they can go snatch them later. Good idea. I walk the dogs for that reason but I could cover more ground jogging. Thanks for the tip. During the Historical Homes Tour -first 2 weekends in May-Our neighborhood association is having a plant sale. I am the lead! So come on down and BUY some plants and see an old house or 12. Then go raid my yard and see another old house, this one a "restoration in progress". It's getting so you can't walk. With all the rain & great weather the yard has gone NUTS, kind of like this site. Tally HO!

So what happened? Did you acquiese? Did your husband go out and say, "It's not a good time. I'm sorry but you will have to go? We've already talked about this kind of ambush?" Did you ignore them and they went away without seeing any of you? Me, I would have replied to the first email: "I'm sorry I'm still recovering from your dreadful behavior at my child's christening. I'm not up for visiting for a while. Husband or I will let you know when we are ready to risk social encounters with you again." But that's just me. I have very little patience with unpleasantness. Co-dependent I'm not, rescuer I'm not, doormat I'm not, young and anxious to please I'm not. When MIL showed up at my door unannounced in the early morning, I would have first asked my husband, "Were you expecting your mother and a bunch of other people?" Just to make sure there wasn't a misunderstanding. And then I would have opened the door just wide enough to poke my head out, "Can I do something for you?" without a smile. She better have an emergency to report. If not, I would have said, "This isn't a good time. We've talked to you about doing things like this." And I would have looked at the other family members and added, "I'm sorry MIL dragged you over here. I don't know what she told you but we had no plans to entertain the family this morning; in fact, we have other plans, are not dressed and I need to get moving. I hope in spite of whatever MIL led you to believe was going to happen this morning, you have a nice day." And I would have shut the door, hoping MIL had the good grace to be embarassed. But if she wanted to play the victim card and get all wound up with indignation and self righteousness and involve herself in contacting everyone she knows to cry and complain, I would be able to shrug it off. Standing up for yourself against unreasonable behavior is how you separate the decent people in your life from the indecent. If you allow people to walk all over you, they will. But that's me. Some people don't care, they'd say, "Wow, great, want to tag along with us today." One way is not better than the other. The wrong way to handle the problem is to cope in a way that leaves you resentful and irritated and feeling trapped and angry. Fences make good neighbors. Boundaries make good relationships. Deeply insecure people hate personal boundaries, their goal is to merge into other people's lives like siamese twins. If you want to be a siamese twin, no problem. If you don't, don't feel guilty about sticking up for yourself. But also don't wait for the other person to be happy with your decision not to merge with them. Think of it this way: If your neighbor's dog keeps causing havoc in your yard, you can nag and moan and fuss over him putting up a fence and get yourself all wound up trying to get him to do what you want. Or you can put the fence up yourself and solve the problem. If he doesn't like it, it's his problem. If you are going to wait for your MIL to impose boundaries on herself or give you permission, you will wait for eternity. You can't turn a night owl into a morning lark, you can't turn an extrovert into an introvert, and you can't turn a person without internal boundaries into one who respects the personal space of others. They don't value the same things and are that way by nature. Neither of your ways are inferior to the other's; and you need to respect your own orientation on the matters of closeness versus autonomy as well as hers. What she wants does not trump what you want. And when it's your house and your time, what you want DOES trump what she wants. A therapist skilled in family dynamics would be a good investment, because if you don't learn healthy ways of negotiating the closeness versus autonomy problem now, resentments and anger are likely to build up to the point that you feel forced into that cut-off you say you don't want. You cannot ignore your own needs in any relationship and expect that relationship to survive. Good luck to you.