I would use SW Spalding Gray or a lighter color down. It depends on your neighborhood. My neighborhood has very similar home styles of the same year and is lately going lighter. In the last few months some have even gone an off white. They all look very fresh and clean. Anyway, this chit should work whether you choose one of the lighter shades or darker. Chit samples below do not really look like the color "on" but here it is. They change greatly according to the time of day and go from a warm taupe to taupe beige-y to a warm mottled vintage gray. The Heron Plume is much much lighter in real life and would be a great trim color. This color for the door. Don't be afraid to go a bit brighter than you normally would as that area is in shadow. This door painted the periwinkle above. Could you please post a closeup of the window area in front? And, also a sample of what your new roof color will be?

Anything with lots of nooks and crannies and wide grout lines will be hard to clean, whatever it's coated in. BUT - that depends on how you cook. For my mother, who does lots of things in the oven and is the maven of steam and boil - not an issue. For my husband, who is always pan frying, searing, sauteing, etc... it would require a power sprayer. I won't have beadboard anywhere near a kitchen he cooks in, either. I have nothing against beadboard - I actually like it and it's cottage feel. But I've been around the block with HIM enough to know that I'll never keep the grooves clean. (Tomato sauce that gets slopped down the side of the cabinet... and into the grooves. Been there!) So, when you get opinions, see if they jive with your lifestyle, too. A lot of the kitchens we saw in upper level houses at the local parade of homes last weekend are clearly for show and have no relationship to a working room. Think about the way YOU cook and they way YOU live when you pick both your finishes and your layout. Not just IF you cook, but HOW you cook. The hubs was incensed at one kitchen that had the double wall oven around a corner from the range. Because he likes to sear things on the stove and finish them in the oven. For people who never do such a thing, that might not be a problem. For him - huge safety issue. If you don't like subway tiles, give some thought to arabesque tiles. Or maybe a pretty porcelain? It think the reaction you got has more to do with things not meaning the same thing to different people. Pinterest-based trend words aren't really accurate style descriptors. I find it frustrating, too, from the other side of the coin. When I search for "farmhouse" I don't mean JoAnna Gaines-esque, I mean actual farmhouse. But that's not what I get.

If you do not open or close the high windows anyway, consider doing something entirely different for them: You might invest in tinted storm windows that will cap over the existing window and attach to the existing window frame. That will give you a pocket of air between the windows for insulation so your heat/ac will not need to work as hard and, importantly, you will not need the very expensive remote control electric windows. You might even specify that you want double pane storm windows for more insulation value and your choice of tint color -- if a blue is available, you might have a more "sky" look to the natural light still coming into the room. Otherwise consider gray tint. If you're buying shades for two different window frame colors for the downstairs windows, you might consider wood or faux wood shades rather than any "white" or off white color -- and if you cannot match the wood on the walls, you might choose a significantly lighter or darker wood. Otherwise I suspect any shade of white or off white or even gray will emphasize any color difference and the darker ones will come off dingy looking. What is your roof line and overhang like? Can you increase your overhang to help keep the mid day sun from coming directly into the room for a little bit longer?

What about a rose garden? That is very formal and traditional, and there are lots of lovely roses even in a colder zone like yours. Also, I don't know what zone they are, but linden trees are very formal and tidy looking. My favourite tree is a katsura, but I think that is for a warmer zone then yours. Japanese maples come in very small varieties that stay small (or can be kept small with easy pruning). They have a lovely shape and look nice in all four seasons.