Mad as H-ll Mother
4 years ago
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I am mad as H_ll!!!!!
Comments (14)Interior steels studs are commonly 20 or 25 ga. and the need for the heavier stud is usually determined by the height of the wall and 11 ft is starting to get tall. As I mentioned earlier adding drywall can reduce the potential deflection of the stud perpendicular to the wall plane since the drywall acts in composite fashion with the studs. 25 ga. steel studs should be are sufficiently strong to support whatever you might want to hang on them (as long as they don't project too far from the wall) but what has to be taken into consideration is that, unlike wood studs, steel studs tend to twist. After the drywall is installed twisting is no longer an issue but keeping them in position during drywall installation is more difficult with the lighter taller studs. To keep them in place the installer can use "spacer/bridging bars" that are steel channels force fitted into the cut-out holes in the studs stabilizing them and keeping them at the correct spacing. This is probably the additional "bracing" that your consultants mentioned would be required. It's not a big deal to add more of it. Similar bracing over the door openings would be needed in any case as would "backing/blocking" behind cabinets, etc. (see next post). Here is a link that might be useful: spacer/bridging bars...See MoreMother-In-laws...how is yours? (vent, kinda)
Comments (40)bnicebkind--There isn't enough space on here for me to tell it all. Suffice it to say that she undermined, interfered, and manipulated everyone around her. We just caught the brunt of it because we lived closer and were more available to her. I bit my tongue constantly, tolerated it for 9 years and let it roll off of me. Finally had enough and when I tried to talk to her about it, she didn't like it. Luckily my husband stood with me, or I guess we would be divorced by now. She is just an evil person and after 5 years of being totally away from the entire family, we have peace. The stress of it was creating health problems for me, although at the time I didn't recognize it. Afterwards, all the health problems quickly disappeared. That is what made me realize how bad stress can be. We have all the normal stresses in life, but we don't have outsiders contributing to the stress. I have healed from it, but I will never forget it. Even after this much time, none of it has lessened in my mind. Occassionally someone tries to "pop in" on our lives, but we have managed to quickly knock them back in their holes. In fact, just recently SIL tried to contact us, but I quickly stopped that one and let her know in no uncertain terms were any of them welcome. I refuse to allow them the opportunity to create that kind of havoc in our lives again. When people make your life miserable, then you need to remove them from your life. It doesn't matter who it is and I don't believe in "blood is thicker than water". We have no regrets other than I regret I took it for so long. I do occassionally wonder who her vicitm is now, because I know she has one, but I am thankful it isn't me anymore....See MoreWhat to do when Mother in law is the mother
Comments (13)I agree with collen, moving would be my first option. If that's not possible, unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do. Even if your DH were to say something now, it's gone on so long there would be mutiny. They are not going to change how they've done things for so long, just because you want it... believe me, I've beaten my head against that wall. I would say to focus on your child and leave DH to deal with his kids and mother. This is THEIR problem, not yours. What you DO have control over... YOU choose what you want to do for his kids... and his mother. If DH is gone & MIL has something to do, be busy. Do not be her backup babysitter. You have the right to say no, you're busy. If they call to see what's for dinner, don't tell them. Say, "I haven't decided yet. Are you going to eat here or not?" and do not play the game. It's a blessing if grandma feeds them... saves on your food bill & less work for you, cooking & clean up. You aren't going to change them but you can learn to assert yourself to take some control over YOUR life. They are treating you like a doormat & the biggest problem I see here is that your husband is allowing it. The least he can do is back you up when you decide to back off and leave it to grandma. If he can't cut the apron strings... well, he needs to decide if he is your husband or their mama's boy? He can't be both. It's one thing to have a relationship with the parents, but when you are married & have a family of your own, that comes first. And do not allow her to come into your house to "check" anything. Lock your doors if you have to. And I'm sorry that they ignore your son but to be honest, why would you want your son to have much to do with them? They seem a little overbearing & nuts... as for gifts, it's hard but not much different than when the other bio parent buys something for them. A good life lesson of life is not fair and not everything needs to be equal. Your son is probably at an advantage because he doesn't have such crazy people as part of his family....See Morepure madness!
Comments (14)Fortunately there was no drama. Well, BM walked SD to the car and tells DH that she washed all of SD's clothes so he won't have to. We get home, the jeans I bought her for Christmas are gone from her bag & there are at least a dozen pair of underwear in her bag... I ask how many she took & SD says she had those at her mom's over time. LOL, I'm a little confused because I went & bought her more because she only had a couple pair after all her laundry was done... now she comes home with a dozen pair. I'm confused at how so many ended up at BM's house and there aren't any at ours? Surely she doesn't come home with none, right? Oh well, not a big deal... just bizarre. The jeans, I think BM kept them there to see if I will say something.... remember "those damn pants!". Well, who cares... she can have them, SD will be there in summer anyways and she only has six weeks left in school. She has enough to get by or I can buy more. As for SD... she started talking about how BF's kids had been there for a week (spring break) and three weekends in a row. She says they couldn't go roller skating (like BM promised at SD's party) because her sister's friend (the one that came uninvited to SD's party) was skiing and they are doing that next week. My inner cynic says "yeah right!" Today we were at the store & saw Easter stuff on sale, I asked her about her basket. Before she left, she was talking to BM & was saying BM told her all the candy that was in her big basket. As we are standing in the clearance aisle, SD starts telling me what was in her basket... coincidentally it was all the same things on the shelf at the store. I don't know if she really got a basket but she has fabricated stories to include her mom in activities that never happened... like telling us that her mom took her to the movies with BF & then they went to BF's exW's house to play... yeah, she went to the movies & exW's house with BF... but BM was at work but SD insisted to us that her mom was there. It's either wishful thinking or lying to protect her mom since she believes her mom is trying to get custody of her and is very protective of anything that might make mom look bad... and nothing BM does makes her look good. Today I made an appointment to have SD tested for ADHD and resume counseling....See More- 4 years ago
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