luvmytbear, are you reading the posts people are putting up here for you? If I understand correctly, the Disney World trip was already planned before you decided on a Barbados wedding. Even if it wasn't, it is harder than you think to reschedule, especially for a large group, and more important, I think mammavan makes an excellent point about the perspective of the others. Read it carefully and try to see their point of view. Look how many posters made the observation that (without special circumstances) a destination wedding says "we value a fancy setting more than we value your presence." You can have a destination wedding. For that matter, you can refuse to send thank you notes. You can cut your sister out of your wedding party. You can put "cash please" on the invitations. You can invite the cousin you like but not his brother. You can have a reception with music that everyone but you and your pals hates. You can do whatever you want! It's Your Special Day!!!!! But you can't insist that everyone feel the way you want them to feel about it. Your new family feels excluded -- well, they are. Trying to explain to them that they should prefer to spend their money and vacation time on YOUR idea of a vacation, not theirs, is not going to work. As Talley Sue wisely points out, your family probably feels pretty much the same way about this plan; they are just being better sports and more polite about it. Consider that their disappointment means that it is important to THEM to share your wedding with you -- I doubt you would want them to feel relieved, not disappointed, that they can't come. Your original question was: "Is it wrong to just go with our plans? Or should we try to do something local so that his family won't alienate him? I feel so torn!" Well, although it would solve some problems to have the wedding locally and save Barbados for the honeymoon, it definitely isn't "wrong" to go ahead with your Barbados plans. What would be wrong would be to refuse to accept that some people will feel hurt, to insist that they see it your way, to dismiss their plans for a family Disney World trip, and to blame THEM for making YOU feel guilty. If you feel guilty, maybe it's because you really aren't as comfortable with your choice as you wish you were. I'm sorry this sounds so harsh. Having a destination wedding is not a crime. It's disappointing, but not unforgivable! Your future relationship is what's important, not the wedding. You won't ruin it by going to Barbados, but you might by trying to tell everyone else that their feelings are unimportant and that they are cheap and hypocritical. Just do it and let them get over it. Oh -- and if anyone in the famiy someday has a destination wedding, I don't care if it's on MARS -- GO! :-)

Iceland has a website to predict (as much as that can be done) when the Northern Lights activity is the most likely. Then, of course, that needs to coincide with clear skies. I have to say, living in a metro area, I was happy already with the full moon and the stars, so the Northern Lights were an extra bonus! Plus, probably some of the best meals! In Finland, friends of ours went here: http://hotelli-isosyote.fi/en/homepage/ They booked via a UK site, but I can't remember which one, but there are plenty, e.g. https://www.discover-the-world.com/holidays/iso-syote-log-cabin-hideaway/ Actually, check this out: https://www.discover-the-world.com/experiences/northern-lights-holidays/ Maybe Sweden or even Greenland? Or canada: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g155047-d2483758-Reviews-Northern_Lights_Resort_Spa-Whitehorse_Yukon.html

Another spectator here (so far). We have trips that were put off due to covid that we will be rescheduling once we can travel. So, I am not sure I would make a GTG. Would depend on those trips, timing, etc. If I were to come, the Mr. would come with me, although whether or not he would participate or not remains to be seen. LOL We would more than likely plan a trip around the GTG and go on from there. The place, and what there is to do there would really not be of major concern to me (of course I would not want to go somewhere awful!), the main thing would be the GTG! I am within 2 hours of Asheville, we go there fairly often. There is lots to do there and several little towns nearby that are fun. It is a beautiful area. KSWL, I LOVE Montreat. We almost always drive through there when we are in the area. I probably would not be interested in going to Biltmore as I have been there, done that, so many times. I do agree though, it is something to see in every season and they cannot be outdone for Christmas. @DLM2000-GW we love Hendersonville and used to enjoy the antique shops there but seems many have closed. :( You are also within an easy drive of the Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg, etc. which is almost my backyard. LOL Charleston you all know I love and we go there usually yearly. There is much to be done and much in the area. People could stay in Charleston or on one of the nearby islands (which we prefer). It's an easy drive back into Charleston. There are other cities nearby (Summerville comes to mind) and for those who wanted to extend their travel time, you could drive down the coast to Savannah. Or you could choose @hhireno's vacation home area (Hilton Head) and be within an easy day trip to Charleston or Savannah. These areas I would definitely do in April/May or October, even November. September will still be pretty warm. You have a little more lee-way with Asheville, it being a mountain area.

No, but my parents, and two sets of grandparents did, from Michigan to Florida, some years ago. I also lived there myself for four years (back while I was single) when both GP’s were still living there. I have both good and negative thoughts about their personal experiences, as well as what I saw from other Snowbirds lives, my parents’, my GPs, and all their many friends that I got to know, as well as through my patients that I got to know while working there. Positive: A much more active, healthy, fun lifestyle living in sunny, warm Florida . . . for a while, as long as you’re living in an active community! AND, while you’re still mobile enough. Negatives: A lot of Florida retirees that I knew fell into the very common there “Happy Hour” drinking routine that, many times, led to problems with alcohol abuse after a while. One of my own GPs developed such a problem due to this. Many of their friends I knew through them did, as well. Florida and points south are a great place to vacation, they think, for their adult kids and grandkids to come and visit, and they are . . . BUT, holidays, grandkids’ school schedules, and participating in school team sports, etc. do interfere big time! In reality, they REALLY can cut down on family visits to Grandma and Gramps! And, let’s face it, most retirement homes have 1-2 bedrooms max. So as your children’s families grow, they will be needing more bedrooms. Or more $$$ to stay in nearby hotels. Another headache for all to deal with. So, you can visit them!? When? Where will you stay and for how long so as not to interfere with their daily schedules in a negative way? If you have a second home nearby, that does make it somewhat easier. But then you have those dual expenses and worries of upkeep. Major holidays, though, can add some big extra issues to deal with. Another problem I saw over and over again is, as you age, traveling back and forth presents a whole new set of things to deal with: being exposed to colds, flu, stomach bugs, and now Covid - while traveling AND via grandkids, etc. I saw firsthand (tragically, and so many, many times) the growing reluctance to expose themselves to these illnesses, as their own aging bodies took so much longer to get over them. And so, they grew more isolated - and lonely- down in Florida as they aged. And, although it is just the reality of aging, living in Florida amongst all of your also-aging friends, you are constantly experiencing them getting sick, getting cancer, dementia, dying. There, you tend to be surrounded by at least 95% other aging retirees. It’s life, but it honestly can become very sad and depressing. So, I realize that I’ve painted a pretty negative view of retirement in Florida or the general South. And, yes, it can totally not be that negative, but I honestly did personally see this reality I describe too many times to count. My one set of GPs moved back to Michigan and family in their eighties to be cared for by family. My parents had a Winter home in Florida, saw family during the Summer months, but ended up getting very lonely the rest of the year and ultimately also needed to move back when cancer, etc, caused them to need family help. Let me tell you, it was a packing nightmare to put them on a plane and then pack up their Florida Winter home! My other GPs: she passed unexpectedly. Gramp’s friends were passing quickly; he was so incredibly lonely down there, it broke my heart! He passed away while on his only trip back to family in Michigan that year, being too worried about catching “something from the grandkids” to come more often. So, would I personally retire to someplace warm but away from my own kids? Not a chance, but that’s just my one opinion!