Well, I am 26 and my partner is 30. We just purchased a house in the city here in Cleveland. We lived at a house in the exurbs that is probably 160 years old...it was my partner's Grandma's so we lived for "free"...he had been living there a while alone before I moved in. We bought the house here in the city because of the tax credit, I wanted a house, it was a great house in great condition, old with lots of character, in an interesting and up and coming neighborhood. It will not be our forever home and we didn't plan on it being our forever home, either. It's a great place for where we are now in life, but not for longer than maybe 5 or , at the longest, 10 years. The "old" house is a candidate for our "forever" house when my Partner inherits it, but it requires renovation...of course it's free, so, whatevs. lol. Or if we want to stay in the city, we could live in a nice old house with a bigger yard. Or we could build a house on some land we have. Dunno. But we are happy here for now at this stage in our lives. Concerning moving for career, it isn't an option for my partner or I. Too much of our family lives here, and even when they are gone, we will have too many roots here, and we love Cleveland. So, moving for career is not an option. Short answer, no, our first home is not a forever home, but we were very careful to purchase a home that we loved for now and that we will be able to sell, if we need to, for at least what we paid. Life is tough!

Mrspete, there are A LOT of corners, you are right. Hopefully the architect can help us cut down on some of those while hopefully keeping the same feel/goals in mind. I don't yet know if the alcoves in various places are worth the cost since I don't know the cost affect fully just yet. But I really hope to keep our home from feeling too new (big box rooms). It feels like living efficiency and building efficiency aren't always hand in hand. You made a really good point about all the dead space between the living room and kitchen in front of the front door! I'm going to think on that. Thank you for the help visualizing our needs when we are elderly and very likely still in this home. Bluesanne, we have met with a family lawyer but need to finalize things. The plan is for them to leave the property to us and then his brother will receive equal valued assets and can choose to use those to "back back in" on the land should we decide to "let him." Definitely agree about privacy! Thankfully there are lots of trees between us and we won't be driving by each other's home's the way we've set it up to get to our own or the back 60. Selling it completely will be tricky of course (I'm a Realtor so I definitely see that). We hope to keep it in the family but will be prepared to cross that awkward bridge when/if it comes years from now (after my in laws pass away). We have many reasons for planning now, but I won't bore you with the long details. I will however keep in mind your warnings to be open to the architect's experienced input!

This may have been covered in earlier posts, but its all the structural / functional stuff that can eat up your whole budget. How old are the windows in the home, are they energy efficient, and if you end up needing to replace them its crazy expensive (we did, although our home was older when we purchased it). Ditto for doors. Examine carefully for interior signs of roof leaks, leaks in general and ice dam damage...age/condition of roof; age/condition/expected lifespan of heating, cooling systems, water heaters, etc. House that size probably has multiple of each. Put a stink-eye on how the overall home appears to have been cared for -- many people overextended in the past decade or so and then were not able/willing to maintain... our electrical panel work is a story in itself and kind of highlighted how many of the rest of the things in the home were done (we should have read the writing on the wall, so to speak, at that point). Our deck appeared spiffed up and on harder inspection was lacking joist hangers. All kinds of possibilities. Good luck.

This is more complicated for a *couple*. In the literature from one CCRC, if one person in independent living moves to assisted living, the rate drops from $7880/month to $4800. Ah, but if one of a couple remains in independent living, the couple would face paying two monthly charges. (The charge for one person remaining in independent living goes down to $5935/month but there's the additional $4800.) And this is on top of paying $1M entry at a 90% rate of reimbursement; down to $680K entry fee if you want nothing back. There is yet another detail. You can select 90%, 50% or 0% ultimate return of the buy-in. Both the buy-in and the monthly charges go up if you select the 90% return, but maybe there are some tax advantages to 'contributing' to the entity (selecting only half or zero return). The refunding scheme puzzles me. If you select to get 90% or 50% of the buy-in returned, the institution takes 4% out for your first month of residency, then 2% each additional month "until the refundable amount is reached". Huh? Can someone illustrate this for me using a $1M entrance fee and a 90% 'refund' plan? Let's say our house is worth the same as the entry fee in a CCRC. There's a wash. But it doesn't cost us $7880/month to live 'independently' in it. We'd still have all the non-house-related expenses like groceries, clothing, tickets to the circus. Maybe I just can't grasp how much 'care' will cost us for the last two years of our lives. I know all about the 'revolving door' of assistance/caregivers from my MIL's last ten years of life. I'd also like to be able to hire and fire, not be stuck with people hired by an institution -- as long as I'm capable. Seems to me it's the same 'pool' of help. Skilled nursing is different. I would not attempt that or hospice at home. Thanks for walking along this road with me. maifleur -- I'm sorry your last years with your DH were so difficult. I appreciate your 'inside' knowledge, but regret you had to learn it!