Starter Homes vs. Forever Homes

13 years ago

My husband and I bought our first house a little less than a year ago and have been involved in a constant renovation since. It's a lot of work and the payoff is great- I can't imagine ever leaving.

I was just wondering if the members on here bought their houses to eventually sell them and get something bigger, or if they picked their first house as their "one and done."

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Comments (27)

bleigh
13 years ago
Our first home is about to go on the market. I knew when we bought this house that it was not going to be our forever home. We don't really love living in a metro area and hope to settle permanently in rural TN after retirement. Anyway, when we found our current home I had a six month old and another on the way. This 1450 square foot house seemed huge compared to our rental and I thought this was all the space we needed. Well, almost 7 years later the kids are bigger and I homeschool and there is just not enough room. If my husband's commute was not so long we would stay here another 5 years and suffer with the space. The next house will not be our forever home as it is much closer to the city and we just won't stay there any longer than we have to. If we had the luxury to live in a place we wanted to retire in I would probably choose my forever house. I'd love an older house with some character to update and make our permanent home. My parent's built their house when I was three and they're still there. It's nice to be able to go home and have all those memories in that place. Wish I could have that for my kids, but it's not in our plan.

I think people too often think about the upgrade/change that may come in the future. If your fortunate enough to live in a place you love and have a house that you love just enjoy it. As long as the home (and neighborhood) continues to serve your needs then why move?? Glad you're enjoying your first home and if it's your forever home, I think you're pretty lucky.
booboo60
13 years ago
I can't tell from your post but I assume you are a "young couple" with your lives ahead of you!! As you go through "life" there are "stages" which require you to make changes so that you can grow as a couple and as people!!! For instance, if you choose to have children in the future you may outgrow the home you are in now. As for Dh and me, I don't think when we bought our first home we thought we would sell but after we started having a family we just didn't have enough room! After that, Dh had a job that required a move to another location, etc. Now, we are retired and have built our "forever home"! Hopefully, we can stay here a long time. I know very few people that have lived in their first homes their whole married lives but there are some. Like the saying goes, "life happens"!

Good Luck!
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Mrs Pete talk to your pension coordinators about how much each option will cost if you reduce both of your pensions to give the other person a benefit if/when one of you dies. It may not be that much. I've done it. We're 95% sure we'll go with max-pension for me alone -- but we have until March to decide for certain. I'm younger than my husband, I'm in better health, and I come from a family with super long-lived genes (seriously, we joke that we're part vampire 'cause we're kinda un-killable). We're in agreement that naming my husband as beneficiary isn't the wisest choice; yes, it's a gamble, but isn't everything in this discussion a bit of a guess? What I've played with is the idea of naming one of my daughters my beneficiary -- or, and this is the one that really intrigues me -- naming my grandson (who will be born October 2021) as my beneficiary. What intrigues me: I started teaching in 1992. 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A good friend of ours just died, leaving 2-year old and a 5-year old grandchildren behind; that's why we're determined to invest a (fairly small) lump sum for our new grandson NOW. If we should die unexpectedly, that money would already be set aside for him, and we'd leave a letter in our Death Notebook explaining our plans for him to have money for each college semester. Good luck on your retirement and be glad that as a teacher you can receive social security as many states do not allow that or the SS is offset by part of the pension. Thanks! Teaching is a job that "pays" only if you stick it out for a whole career (in the same state), and our retirement benefits are good. Yes, I'll be able to collect SS too (not for some years). Yes, I'm in a state that gives teachers SS -- well, I say GIVE, but that's not true. I've paid in quite a bit over the years. Ditto for my pension. What if chasing status gives them happiness? Truthfully, I don't think chasing status can every bring happiness because -- perhaps excepting the Queen -- someone will always have more. Status is a moving target. I myself was turned down for a car loan two years ago with a 800+ credit rating because I had no active credit usage on my report.That would be solely based on income, as no credit use would lower your score a bit anyway. You can have a 500 FICO and get a car loan if you have income that covers the payment. Some 20 years ago -- the last time we financed a car -- the person at the bank jokingly said, "We don't see this often." Our credit score wasn't just good: it was perfect. Some time later -- after we paid off our house -- we found out our credit score had dropped. We were more financially secure, but our credit score was lower. That's when I decided I don't care a fig for credit scores; instead, I care about financial security. This incident really illustrated to me that they are not the same measurement. 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mom270
13 years ago
This is something I think about a lot - to stay or to go. We're still in the same small house we bought when we got married 10 years ago. I had a realtor do a market analysis and even with the downturn in real estate prices, our house is worth at least twice what we paid for it. What makes me hesitate about selling it is our town has high taxes and we would be looking at least $5K increase in taxes and we need to save for the children's college education, which I don't know if we could if we were paying an extra $1K a month for mortgage/taxes. It's good to know our house is in demand, though. A realtor left a note on my house the other day asking me if I'm interested in selling because she has a potential buyer.
Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
13 years ago
You can't figure out all that's going to happen to you in life so enjoy what you have, be grateful and content, be flexible and not deeply attached to a house.
The romantic idea of "this is the home we will live in forever" -whether the home you are now in or a dream home carefully designed and built, doesn't always come true.
chicagoans
13 years ago
We bought our 3 bedroom house before having kids. (Our downtown condo is what I considered our 'starter' home.) We knew we were buying into a nice neighborhood with great schools and a walk to town/train/school location. What we didn't anticipate was falling in love with the neighborhood and making great friends with the awesome neighbors, and the fact that eventually DH would buy a business and we'd both end up working in home offices.

Over the years we have finished the basement (added a guest room and bath with shower), built a larger garage, and 2 years ago did a major addition / renovation that got us lots more space with 2 additional bedrooms for offices, separate bathrooms for our 2 kids, and new MB suite, kitchen, mudroom, and great room.

Now that we've done all this, I realize that we lucked out with a first home that had a large enough lot that we could make the house grow with us and yet stay right where we are so happy. It's not something we planned on when we first laid eyes on the house.
gastroc
Original Author
13 years ago
We are indeed a young couple. We rented an apartment for a while and then bought this 1920's bungalow. We purchased this looking at the neighborhood and school system and absolutely love it. We've renovated our kitchen, dining room, bedroom, and laundry room so far- making each room to our specific taste.

I think all that got me thinking "Could I ever leave?" Right now I think of all the work that is going into it, all the personal touches and can't imagine selling that. But, I wonder if I'll always feel so attached.

I think part of what makes me feel like this is a "home" more so than just a house is the owners before us. They raised all of their children here and the only reason they left was because they were in their 80's-90's and assisted living became necessary.

I also remember being so sad when my parents sold the house us kids grew up in.

Why do we as people get attached to inanimate objects? LOL
nicole__
13 years ago
Our first home we purchased when we were 24 & 26yo. The size was fine, the area was fine. BUT....it was a brand new home that started to sink & heave. All the neighbors had issues. Some had the warranty replace the basement, others had the sidewalks replaced. After 7 years we moved.
wi-sailorgirl
13 years ago
I hope our first home is our forever home. We love almost everything about it, and when we're done with our upcoming remodel I think we'll love everything. For us the best part is the location. I can't think of another place I'd rather be. Ours is a small, renovated cottage but we love it for all its cozyness. We bought it as a not-too-young couple (we're late starters, I guess) and while it's starting to appear as though we may not have kids, even if we did (assuming it's not more than two) I think we'd manage just fine in the space we have.

The only reason I can see leaving is if we would have to move for career reasons.
natal
13 years ago
We've been in our "starter" home for 29 years. If I could change the 6 month summers I'd happily stay forever, but unfortunately with each passing year the misery seems magnified.
busybee3
13 years ago
we've moved 5 times in 25 yrs (5 different states) with my husb's job and with each move, "upgraded" the home....i certainly can't imagine staying in our 1st or even 2nd home forever...we were planning on building new in our 2nd location until his job situation changed and we moved, but at that time we were thinking that that house we built would be our forever home! things change!!! but, i know moving is alot more appealing when you have a company picking up all the expenses!!!
jakabedy
13 years ago
I've had four houses. The first one I bought when I was 29 and single. it was a great little 1,100 sq. ft 2/1 tudor bungalow. Had I remained single, I might have stayed there indefinitely. Unless the neighborhood started to decline. But I got married and DH felt too cramped in my little hut. We (sort of) impulsively bought a 2,100 sq. foot storybook home in a better historic neighborhood. We knew it wouldn't be forever (four stories of house?) but loved the house and the investment factor (hot neighborhood, and it was 2002).

In 2005 we had a financial crash and family issues that required a sale of that house and a very peculiar home search with very particular geographical requirements. And we were under the gun, as the great house sold (made a killing) the day we listed it in 2005.

We took a leap into "bringing back" yet another historic neighborhood. The new house was 2,600 sq. ft on one floor (although there was a full basement) and we could live there indefinitely if need be (aging in place considerations, we were 40 and 54). It was beautiful, historic, grand and adorable all at once. And dirt cheap. We fought the good fight, but the neighborhood was already too far gone to come back absent a HUGE influx of creative types. And they just weren't making the area a focus. We were fortunate to get out when we did in July of 2007, and actually made money on the house.

When we found the current house we were definitely looking for something long-term. Or experience on the edge of . . . who am I kidding . . . our experience IN the 'hood led us to search in more rural places. Three acres, long winding driveway, interesting architecture, one story, reasonable price. Sold. It is a bit farther from town than would be our ideal, but when we halfheartedly look at the listings every now and then, we can't find anything we like better for what we're willing to pay.

I only see us leaving this house if we actually leave the area or the state. And I think we would only do that if we were to retire in the nountains or on a lake/river somewhere. In all the other houses there was always something nagging at me, something to "finish" so we could move on. But not in this one. Maybe I've just gotten to a point in my life where I'm not wanting to move "up" to a better historic neighborhood, or more prominent house. Maybe living in my super cool MCM house in the woods is fine. It can't even be seen from the road, so the coolness is clearly just for DH and me and our friends -- not for the neighbors. It's a whole different thing now, I suppose. And I like it.
prairiedawnpam
13 years ago
Hubby and I bought a "Starting Over" home together five years ago when we blended families. We assumed that we'd move on up to something bigger, but I've discovered that teenagers actually need less room than younger children do (electronics don't take up much space) and I love our neighbourhood. Besides, who wants to reno, decorate and CLEAN a big house?

...Pam
homebodymom
13 years ago
The home I am currently living in is definately not my forever home and we knew this when we bought it. We will sell it when our children go off to college in a few years, but not for something bigger. We will sell it for something older!! It is my and my DH's dream to own an old house. When the children are in college and our first priority is no longer getting into the best school zones, we will finally get into our "forever home". Probably just in time for retirement, LOL.......
User
13 years ago
We're late bloomers too with our first home and after all the work we've put into this fixer upper, I hate to say it, but it seems it won't be our forever house and will be a 10 year house instead. For some reason I just can't picture us being here longer than that.

It's nice you've had a great experience with your first home, make lots of good memories and enjoy it while you're there.
gsciencechick
13 years ago
I was thinking recently that 3 out of 4 of my siblings are still in the first home they ever owned. We are talking 30+ years. So, my sister likes to say her "starter home" is her "finishing home". They live in a region where real estate prices were never very good and never rose much with the booming economy.

I bought my townhouse knowing that it would nto be a "forever" home. It had 4 levels, which would not work for aging.

This house, who knows? We have no plans to sell anytime soon.

Just today I saw a NY Times article which discussed that the concept of using the home to build wealth may be over.

Here is a link that might be useful: NY Times link on home values
rosesstink
13 years ago
I have never considered a home to be an investment so it wouldn't have occurred to me to buy a "starter" home. We bought a less than perfect 100+ YO farmhouse on good acreage twenty five years ago and plan to stay forever. We could afford to move on/up but why would we? Our house isn't great but it suits our needs. We paid off the mortgage a decade ago and have been saving that money ever since.

If you like, or even don't hate, the house you have then stay with it. There are better ways to spend your money than on upsizing/upscaling. MHO
palimpsest
13 years ago
I have bought two places (so far) with the notion that I will be staying indefinitely, and made whatever changes I have made based upon my desires rather than resale. I tend to buy significantly less than I could "qualify" for so I can make the changes I want without too much worry. On average I seem to last about 7 years before I start looking. In contrast:

My parents have owned two houses in 55 years and they only bought the first one because there was a rental property shortage where my father did his residency. When my father moved into the house they built according to their specs 42 years ago he said his next move was into a box up the street (a cemetery). He is 86 and doing everything he can to stick to his plan. My mother is currently in a nursing home (involuntarily) and talks about when she will be able to return home every day. Its likely she may recover enough to do so. They never considered their house a wealth building investment but rather a place to live.
That particular kind of market Never existed where they live.
igloochic
13 years ago
I'm an ex banker, so the term "Forever" home isn't one I ever hang my hat on. I've seen too many people move from their forever homes because of life circumstances.

My first place was about 800 sq ft and I thought it would be a find place for myself and if I ever remarried a spouse and perhaps even one child...after all how much space can one need? Then I had a spouse and realized one needs more space than 800 sq ft :oP Then I had a child and realized that one needs more space than 2100 sq ft :oP

If I get another dog I'm gonna upgrade to 10,000 sq ft, but that will include some sort of live in worker who never bothers me LOL Maybe elfs? Are there good elfs available now a days?

We do expect that we will keep this home (DH and my second joint purchase) for at least 20 years. But we never have let our term or potential term factor into how we feel about a place. Oh wait...now that I think of it, this is our third place LOL it's only been five years and I forgot a house! Anyhoo, we remodeled the first place we purchased for our enjoyment, verses resale, and will do the same here. But always, given the experiences I had as a banker, in the back of my mind is that any home we own could be someone elses any time.

Life changes :) I hope you enjoy your home for many years, but don't be suprised if one day you're knocking on the door of some freak like me and asking if they'd sell...cuz the baby and their chinese toys are taking up too much room in your cute bungalow. :oP
neetsiepie
13 years ago
The home we live in isn't our first home, but it's our forever until we retire and move away home. We're not going to leave our community any time soon (at least until I retire, which won't be for at least 15 more years).

However, I've always said that if we win the lottery, we're moving! But we love where we live, we love our house and it fits our needs. It's bigger than we need (sometimes, when it's just the two of us) and smaller than I want (during the holidays when I have 30 people over!)

We've made our house OURS...it's definitely got our stamp on it. I fell in love with this house the minute I walked in. Our kids are moving away, so it's not so important for us to stay here in our golden years. Depending on where our kids end up...IF they have kids of their own, will likely determine where we end up. If they stay within driving distance, we'll probably stay here forever, but if they scatter across the US, we'll move to Nevada, New Mexico or Arizona...somewhere in the desert.
enigmaquandry
13 years ago
gastroc, we are in the exact same situation, we are a young couple in our first home (1,250 sqft cape cod cottage), we bought it because we were in a strange financial situation and this house was our only option to get out of our tiny apartment. When we moved in we weren't thrilled (I was a little crestfallen, I'd waited so long to own a home and we kinda got stuck with a design-stinker), it was terribly kept up before us and I was sad we would have to live in a house that we wouldn't be able to put down roots to (I get super attached to where I live) since we didn't like it. However we have done the same thing as you have, we have renovated every single room and though it is still small we absolutely love it, we love where we're located, we love our neighbors and we are willing to re-organize our lives to accommodate children, etc. in order to stay here because now it is our home and we love it...there is no point in "upgrading" for us because we have all we need. Of course life situations can always change plans but I hope we can always stay here, it's all about using spaces better if you can't change them!
usgirl
13 years ago
We have moved 15 times until now and am about to do number 16 into an upmarket "active life style" condo.

I should not have been happy in any of the houses to think that "this is it".

I just think of all the wonderful experiences we've had, and are still having, shuttling between Europe and the US. Of course, we are from the UK originally and emigrated to the US many years ago so I suppose that explains my wanderlust.

I suppose there are pros and cons for those who enjoy staying put and those of us who don't. Vive la difference!
ttodd
13 years ago
We picked our first house as our forever house but it's not staying that way.

We're not jiving w/ the area and I get crankier and crankier and crankier as each year goes by. My MIL says that if we could just pick up the house and move it, that would be perfect but I'm even tired of the house.

We will actually downsize to a much smaller house (our current is by no means large) w/ far more land and far fewer neighbors.

I also want something more open room wise as opposed to the style that we currently have so I will actually be taking down walls in our next house to open it up.

It's ashame really - I really wanted to live in town but it's not what it's cracked up to be for us in this area.
lynninnewmexico
13 years ago
Our "starter" home was purchased by DH right before we got engaged. We knew that it wouldn't be our forever home from the get-go, but it was a good fixer-upper with great potential. Over the years that we lived there we added a big garden outside, landscaping, put down sod, put in a new fence, more trees, and redid 2 of the 3 patios. Inside we added a new roof with lots of skylights, as it was an older adobe home and too dark for me. We also knocked down a wall between the breakfast and family rooms and added an eating bar on one side and a built-in adobe banco (bench/couch) on the family room side. We accidentally timed it perfectly, because just as we finished up the last of our planned projects,the housing market took off. We decided to list it and it sold that first day it was on the market, for quite a bit over our asking price with the caveat that we'd be out in 30 days. So, I never really had time to enjoy it before it was time to pack up and move. We then had to move into a rented townhouse for a year while we (I!!!) first looked at 119 or so houses before we bought this land and had our ~hopefully~ forever home built.
Lynn
pamghatten
13 years ago
One of the posters said that a "Starter" home = investment, not a home ... and I disagree with that.

My first (starter) home I bought with my mother when I was 24 years old, it was a 2 family home in the city. The aprtments were huge and I had the income from the tenant to help me with the mortgage payment.

After 7 years, I was tired of living in the city and being a landlord. So I bought a single family house, less square footage than my huge apartment ... but I knew it was not my forever home.

Went back to school while working full time ... after getting my MBA I started looking for a farm ... I had decided I needed enough space to garden without too many limits. 3 weeks later, bought a 20 acre farm with an even smaller house ... which I've been in for 13+ years now and plan on living here forever.

I did expand the house, but not all moves are for something bigger ... life changes, as others have said previously. When I was in my 20's I never would have imagined me living on and loving my farm.
segbrown
13 years ago
First house was a townhouse in Virginia ... DH and I had recently had first baby. It was new, 3 br, about 1800 sq ft, no yard, really. It was definitely not a forever house, because we didn't want to stay in NoVa too long.

We moved to SoCal -- also not planning on staying forever -- and rented for 2 years. That was when NOT buying wasn't the greatest decision, as we were there 1998-2000, and had we bought ANYthing, we would have made a bundle. OH well.

When we moved back to CO, 10 years ago, this was going to be the forever house. But you never know ... It turns out that we love the location, the neighbors, the house (mostly), the schools ... Before embarking on an extensive remodel last year, I did a lot of looking around, b/c buying something else probably would have been cheaper and easier. Didn't find anyplace else, really.

I don't think we'll ever sell this one, but I don't rule out buying a bigger place in the mountains and splitting time once the kids are out of school. Not sure.
krycek1984
13 years ago
Well, I am 26 and my partner is 30. We just purchased a house in the city here in Cleveland. We lived at a house in the exurbs that is probably 160 years old...it was my partner's Grandma's so we lived for "free"...he had been living there a while alone before I moved in.

We bought the house here in the city because of the tax credit, I wanted a house, it was a great house in great condition, old with lots of character, in an interesting and up and coming neighborhood.

It will not be our forever home and we didn't plan on it being our forever home, either. It's a great place for where we are now in life, but not for longer than maybe 5 or , at the longest, 10 years.

The "old" house is a candidate for our "forever" house when my Partner inherits it, but it requires renovation...of course it's free, so, whatevs. lol.

Or if we want to stay in the city, we could live in a nice old house with a bigger yard.

Or we could build a house on some land we have.

Dunno. But we are happy here for now at this stage in our lives.

Concerning moving for career, it isn't an option for my partner or I. Too much of our family lives here, and even when they are gone, we will have too many roots here, and we love Cleveland. So, moving for career is not an option.

Short answer, no, our first home is not a forever home, but we were very careful to purchase a home that we loved for now and that we will be able to sell, if we need to, for at least what we paid.

Life is tough!
kjmama
13 years ago
I guess you were asking for stories...;) We just sold our starter home. I loved, loved, loved it... BUT I didn't realize that until we made the commitment to move:( I guess it is normal to think the grass is always greener on the other side.
We lived in our starter home for 13 years and then decided to buy another home in another state closer to my parents... good reason to move. But it was the unsettledness that drove it. We filled our house over 13 years with stuff we didn't really need and felt cramped. My advice, if you ever want to buy bigger - really go through and purge like you are moving. You will be amazed. So in the end, we did move, have spent a ton of money fixing another house and I really think that the grass on the other side is only greener because there are more weeds in it;) I miss my starter home.

Enjoy your sweet home!

Starter Homes vs. Forever Homes

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