You could be a bit more specific ie please bring a salad; please bring a starch; please bring a dessert etc. That should give you a variety.

You could also plan the menu yourself, and allow people to choose what they would like to bring.

I like the simplicity of the 'side dish' idea. Because it is a family gathering (as opposed to, let's say, a book club), I suspect some of the family at least will talk to each other about what they are going to bring just in the normal course of pre holiday talk. Could there be five sides of beans? Maybe this year, but next year they will for sure straighten it out among themselves unless everyone loved the beans.

I think it's best to know ahead. As stated do you really want 10 sides of stuffing?

But....rather than you assigning, find out what their specialty is. For example a few years ago, I did all the desserts.

We had a listv started on What’s App. Everyone weighed in on what to bring. Everyone sees what everyone is bringing.

Ah, yes, the perfect scenario for 5 jello salads. OTOH, just throw it open and see what happens. No rolls or cranberry sauce? 4 mashed potatoes? Honestly, try it, it can't hurt, it might be worth a few laughs as a learning process.

I am firmly in the position of assigning categories and then having veto power. "Oh sorry, but Cousin Itt is bringing the celery sticks. Can you pick something else?"

Assign a category. and be clear. I was making the green beans for a family feast alongside a family member who was making potatoes. I asked if she had enough. She called the hostess to confirm whether she was bringing potatoes, or THE potatoes. A quick run to the store to buy more potatoes ensued!.

It is also hlepful for the host to know exactly what’s coming, and what will be needed for their arrival. Counterspace, Chilling, Heating, until being served? Serving utensils? last-minute assembly for presentation? Trash can for saran and foil or a place to keep the lid? Containers for distributing leftovers?

In my family, at least half would probably bring cornbread dressing.

We've had a lot of big dinners with DH's huge family over the years. If its something casual like a BBQ, it might be 'bring an appetizer' or 'please make a salad'. We're a little tighter and more specific assigning when its a holiday dinner. And, over the years have learned what might be fun for someone to make - one SIL makes great fruit salad, another a mock Caesar that is to die for - or what dish people would miss if it wasn't there.

What we've done for potlucks (but not holidays) is assigned last names (A-G, H-M, N-S, etc) to a certain food group. It has worked out well. Maybe you could adapt that to your situation? So glad that you can have a large family Thanksgiving this year. I am not optimistic about that happening safely for us.

Facebook makes it pretty easy to send the invitation and any updates. What I've done in the past is list a proposed menu and have a * next to each item where I filled in the name of who's bringing. Such as:

Turkey * Host

Dressing * Hannah

Mashed Potatoes * Henry

Gravy * Host

Green Beans * Hugo

Dessert #1 *

Etc. Etc. When Henry would say he's bringing the potatoes and a chocolate cake, I'd fill that in on the main list so the next dessert bringer wouldn't also bring chocolate cake. It helped people NOT call and ask ... What do you need? And it also allowed for new things as Hermione might say "Can I bring a macaroni dish since it's not on the list. OF course! Then add the macaroni dish with Hermione's name.

I like the idea of having types of food (food GROUPS) based on alphabet. BUT do change it up every year. My last name being towards the end of the alphabet, I was always being assigned desserts - which I seriously don't like. I can do one once in a while, but please, PLEASE not every year!

I would say also, don't ask someone to make a specific dish - just a category of a dish. I mean, someone being stuck with green beans might resent that! Find out if there is some good green veggie they enjoy to eat, and perhaps to make, and go from there.

I'm with artemis. People should be able bring what they enjoy and good at cooking.

But there are always people who are awful cooks (and don't know it.)

Back in the distant pre Covid past, we used to attend an annual pre Christmas dinner for about 50. Host (and her family) provided the main dishes, the rest of us were assigned to bring either a salad (Christmas is mid summer where I live) or a dessert. Simple, and it seemed to work just fine.

You are having a very large family gathering during Covid? With the Delta variant causing increased infections in children, breakthrough infections in the vaccinated, and the unvaccinated overrunning hospitals?

Bless your heart if all you have to worry about is side dishes.

Similiar to Facebook we have used a shared Google Sheet sign-up for larger groups. I started out with list with Thanksgiving/4th of July basics and asked the family/friends to select which one they want to bring or add-in another item. I helped out anyone who was challenged with adding their information. Worked very well for us.

Best ones for me is everyone bring what they want. You may get a few potato dishes and other duplicate's. But that is a potluck. I love them. I never "tell" them what to bring. I never know what I am bringing until I make it. No complaints.

You never met my husband's cousin, or tried her lasagna made with canned brown gravy.

When we did the big family dinners I always asked the person what they would like to bring. If I knew that 2 people were bringing potatoes I knew not to make them, if we had 3 appetizers coming and no potatoes I knew not to make appetizers but to make potatoes. As long as I knew what was coming I could fill in the rest and make it work, It's the unknown that would drive me nuts. My family always knows that I will bring as many salads as they need and they will let me know.

sushipup...Ewwww!

I always cook one of each...one entree, one veggie, one starch, one dessert. Then I let others fill in but I know I've got the basics covered. Keeping in mind that, with all the food that shows up, a casserole that serves 8 will easily serve 16 or more as there's so much food, everyone always takes a little of everything and the plate is full.

Interesting question.

Maybe when you invite each family member you could let them know at that time to bring a dish of their choice but it would be on a first claim basis. In other words, who ever names a dish first claims a stake on that dish to bring. If someone else offers the same dish just let them know that you got that covered and what's left on your must have list, they can bring that or something else that is not already claimed by someone else......too complex? nyuk.

"You could be a bit more specific ie please bring a salad; please bring a starch; please bring a dessert etc. That should give you a variety."

That always works best for me.

What works best for me is to cook everything myself. You wanna bring something? Bring a dessert. Nothing else. Dessert. You want to "help?" Stand guard at the kitchen door and clothesline anyone trying to get in to stir something or annoy me while I am cooking.

For everyone else, I do think it is important to be somewhat specific to avoid 10 sweet potato casseroles and no rolls. A sign up situation i would think works best. It splits the difference the best. Allowing people to pick from a list of what to bring avoids the "you're assigned THIS" thing that some people do not like. It also helps avoid having repeats of some dishes and the absence of others.

Thank you all for your suggestions and ideas. I’ll probably blend some of the ideas and see what happens.

@llucy I hear you loud and clear. Every member that will come is fully vaccinated, other than the under 12s. We follow covid measures and restrictions put in place by provincial mandate. Masks are mandated indoor public places' schools etc. I believe Ontario is in step 3, which allows for indoor gatherings of 25. If this changed before thanksgiving (Oct 11), the get together will be adjusted to meet mandate.

For our annual choir Christmas gathering we would divide up the menu into categories and ask those attending to sign up and indicate what they intended to make so othèrs could see how many were already planning potato salad (or if no one was) for instance, and make their choice accordingly. If we knew someone who was a poor cook might (on the basis of previous experience) bring something no one would eat, (think canned mackerel pate 😝), we might refine it into something like ”starters: 2 x cheese straws, 2 x dip and crudités, salads: 2 x potato salad, 2 x Greek salad, 2 x mixed salad...” etc so there was still an element of choice but avoiding someone being hurt because their contribution was not touched.

there would never be ten devilled eggs. our family inhales them, and rolls. then again, make sure what they bring is not just ingredients for something that has to be cooked/assembled at your place.

@bragu_DSM 5 “make sure what they bring is not just ingredients for something that has to be cooked/assembled at your place.” So true, years back, SIL said she would bring the poatoes. Yup, she sure did and brought a 20 lbs bag...!

DH's brown-gravy-lasagne cousin's twin said she'd bring homemade chili for 4th of July. She showed up an hour late with the ingredients and started to cook. Note: twins' mother was an exceptionally good cook and perfect hostess.

I would not leave it to chance - that is a recipe for disaster.

At work when we had potlucks, we would have a sign-up sheet, which had categories to choose from, and then people specified what dish within that category they wanted to bring. This will help provide a more balanced, not to mention interesting, meal.

Let people choose what they want to bring, but make sure that all major categories are filled.

Those who do not cook can bring beverages, such as wine, if you drink that.

Sushipup, that's a No. I've seen that happen too. My own sister showed up at her sons with salad ingredients still packeged from the store, not even prepped. Her reasoning, her daughter in law had her salad bowl and hadn't returned it. My sis is a grandmother and long time wonderful cook. You'd think she could splurge for two salad bowls, or improvise - not wait to make the salad until the bowl was present too.