I used to enjoy planning vacation trips -- where should we go, how should we get there, what should we do, what sites can we see. Per our pre-Covid ambitions, DH and I should be in New Zealand right now or departing shortly! Oh well, maybe in a couple more years.

Most days I'm okay staying home and finding things to do. But there are days I get restless and feel a bit down. On those days, chocolate helps :-)

Skipped down to say yes! Except I like to cook and can easily spend hours in the kitchen.

I also have a never ending list of projects I could do.

I would love to go nowhere, but I'm now stuck going back to work in person and I don't like it at all 😟

I'm feeling a lot more lethargic than I used to, and I really need to get some work done in the back yard here in L.A., but it has now turned into a seemingly massive job. At least the weather is pretty much always pleasant in Los Angeles and conducive to gardening, but it is going to take days to get all the pruning done that needs to be done.

I have a good friend in Sacramento who usually comes to visit once a year to help me with gardening, but I don't think it's safe for him to travel, and I worry that he could get ill on the way and then spread it to us. I might have to hire someone else to help us this year. I'm also planning to simplify the back yard so that it will be easier to take care of. The white sapote tree is over 20 feet high now and loaded with fruit, which will probably make a mess, especially if they get ripe when we are not here.

We have the money to travel but are planning to save it until the situation changes. I do not want to get on a plane while there are so many belligerent passengers flying. When we do finally fly somewhere, I am thinking we will have to fly first class, and since we don't fly as much, it seems like a reasonable thing to do. Otherwise, flying would just be too irritating. We took an upgraded class when we went to Italy in 2017, which was something between first class and business class, and that was plenty comfortable. I wish all flights offered that.

I still cook as much as ever, but I've slowed down on my sewing projects but intend to pick back up on those. It's been a bit confusing going back and forth between L.A. and Coachella Valley, but I'm planning to move most of the rest of my fabrics to Cathedral City and spend more time sewing there and then spend more time gardening in L.A. and not worry about sewing. For a while, I was moving fabrics and sewing stuff back and forth, often forgetting something while doing so, and I don't want to do that anymore. I have a better sewing setup in CC than in L.A., but I can still keep both. I have a new Brother sewing machine in L.A. that I love for making buttonholes, but otherwise, I prefer my old Viking machine that I have in CC. I have my new Brother serger in CC, and I like that much better than my really old serger that I have in L.A. That machine must be 30 years old by now, but it still works - most of the time.

I haven't seen relatives in more than two years, but my brother wants to go to Houston next August for an ostomy convention, providing they will still have it. At first I thought I wanted to go with him, since I really like Houston, but now I'm not so sure - especially with the politics in Texas the way they are now.

The only thing I missed was getting out to go gym, meeting in person for book club, lunch dates.

We are not into throwing parties and gathering on a regular basis, so nothing to miss there.

We happened to be in our Florida house when it all started. We used the time to have the house renovated. Everything was open, tile shops, showrooms.

I never stopped shopping for groceries. I never stopped having my hair done. By the time we returned, my back to being open.

On Sunday we went to a 75th birthday party that was held outside, but there was a roof over half.

I have been meeting friends for lunch and am back going to monthly book club.

Yup, my pizzazz is gone.

Yes we have periods of lethargy but for me personally I've mostly seen a big change in my priorities. I find I really don't miss the things I used to do so much. I'm less concerned about material goods and I have narrowed down what I will and won't do.

I used to suck it up and go to dinners and events just for the socializing even though I get bored with large groups and find the noise irritating. I've made the decision not to do that anymore. I used to pick and choose. Now I pick NONE! I go to the outdoor picnics and I will start going to a few game nights but no more going just to go somewhere.

I sometimes miss seeing my grandkids as much as I used to but find less frequent visits just as, if not more satisfying. Yes picking them up from school and taking them to swimming lessons was fun but it was also a chore. Now our visits are all fun and no work.

I don't miss eating out as much as I thought I would. Now I am more selective and I eat out maybe once a week if that. Mostly at a couple of diners where things are more like they used to be now.

I've cut back on remodeling/home improvement plans. It's just a house and my life is mostly lived outside of it. Dirt, hay and horses consume me. A new sofa never really gave me much satisfaction, the aches and pains after a long ride do.

I never got to stay home during Covid beyond the first few weeks. I am the driver, the shopper, the caregiver in my household. I didn't have time to get bored. Once I became one of the adopted at the ranch I was too busy learning new skills and too tired most of the time to worry about anything I might be missing. Life is good.

Not for us. When our state closed down we just drove 20 minutes to the boarding state which was open. We really haven't curtailed our activities much. Still shop, eat out and visit friends the same. In fact we are busier than before covid since we bought our camp last summer. As far as cooking I'm with Amylou. It's not the cooking, but figuring out what to cook. September is a slow month for us. Too early to button up for winter, but most of the summer activities are done with. Not until October does things pick up again.

Yes, I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's feeling this way. I can't seem to find myself these days!

Our homebody instincts have definitely kicked in and are still present. I'm a little tired of it, but not willing to go back to 'normal'. We're still avoiding crowded places. I made my annual endocrinologists appt a couple of weeks ago and after discussing it with staff, it's going to be Zoom like last year. Not so much her office as its on the 7th floor of a large medical building and there is no way to avoid elevator that is always crowded. And in a major city that I haven't visited in the last 18 months, 2 hours away. Tight parking, traffic, many inconveniences. I am going to see my cardiologist in person, in November and this week DH and I are going for annual skin checks...so maybe a bit of progress ;0)

Any time an invitation comes up, I count days till our next trip to see my 94 yr old mother and try to determine if we'd be cutting a visit too close to any possible exposure. We're vaccinated, but so were my brother and his wife when they contracted Covid last month and it was pure luck that neither of them had been inside Mom's facility immediately before or as symptoms appeared. They weren't dangerously ill but definitely uncomfortable for more than a week. And a little younger than we are.

I haven't deeply cleaned house in months. Now, I'm beginning to feel Fall approaching and semi-panicking with all I've yet to do outside. I've completely lost my efficiency and drive. I am trying to make meals more interesting again - we'd fallen into a 'same ol' routine and I lost some weight without noticing. I didn't need to lose weight and suspect I don't look my best ;0)

It's not that we don't have company, we see family regularly, driveway and garage visits. A day a week without a friend or family stopping by is unusual. DH is on the phone a lot, talking to brothers, friends but he's always been a phone person where I am not.

Gardengal, you'd mentioned a loss, please accept my very sincere sympathies. A few weeks ago you'd said something about your ex being ill and how difficult for your step daughter, would it be too presumptive of me to ask?

Yes, I've felt disappointed with myself for the ennui I feel and have felt since this began. But then again, I've also dealt with dh retiring and being home all. the. time.--I'm used to being alone in the house to do my housework and it bugs me that he's here, in my way. :) Unless there's some kind of get-together, almost always with dd and dsil, (other set moved away,) I can't make myself do much of anything but the jobs that must be done. Not much interest in cooking either. I think it's because we still feel restricted as to our movements. Having said that, we're strongly considering a trip to nyc, our first foray OUT.

Another problem for me is that I used to find such joy in gardening. Now, with the rationing of water and the guilt that goes with buying plants, (which I don't do anymore,) I'm only doing enough in the garden to basically keep plants alive, especially the trees. We're going to have a giant tree die-off if the rain doesn't pick up this year! Flowers and the planting of different varieties used to make me happy.

Gardengal, I'm so sorry for your loss.

morz8, not too presumptive and yes, my ex passed away on the 4th. While he was seriously ill and the news was not very positive, no one expected him to decline quite so rapidly. We were together for almost 30 years, remained friends and still stayed in frequent contact, so it came as a shock to my entire extended family.

Thankfully his birthday was just a week or so before he was hospitalized and we talked on the phone then. And he had celebrated the weekend before with his daughter but that was the last time she saw him. She was able to talk with him briefly on the phone once before he was transferred to the ICU and ventilated but his difficulty breathing made it hard for him to speak.

My girl is holding up the best she can but she has taken this hard. She and her dad were very close.

It is a very nasty business.

I'm truly sorry for your loss. You did always speak of him as though you continued to be close and I know you were worried about your daughter. We have a friend who had heart surgery Virginia Mason last week and we can't get to him with restrictions in place - I cannot imagine how she and you must have felt unable to go to family in their illness. Such awful times for families and having to distance.

It's wonderful she was able to see him somewhat recently. I really do wish her peace and comfort. And again, my most sincere sympathy to you both.

Thank you.

Occasionaly I feel that way. However, it's more of a disappointing/frustrating feeling for me. I had a very active life before Covid. Many of the things I did before, I no longer feel comfortable doing. Like plays in a theater, tennis, concerts, travel, and eating in restaurants. There are days when I feel my life is slipping by me and I get very angry an the unvaccinated who are ruining it for everyone AND endangering all of our lives!

My condolences as well, gg.

And I realized that there's another reason that I've not done so much of what needs to be done around here. The weather's been either brutally hot or drenching rain, and we've had red tide lingering offshore for months now, which makes me cough and feel rotten when I'm outside.

Hoping as things cool off a bit, I'll be able to work outside more.

But indeed, there is a sense of foreboding, a sense of dread and uncertainty because I'm in FL, where one can take their life in their hands being around strangers. I get really bummed out when I have to go somewhere and be close to other people I don't know, for any length of time.

Yes! and I want to thank you for starting this post.

Gardengal, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Judy, do you think that yout motivation will return?

Very sorry for you and the family, GG

I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, GardenGal.

Gardengal, I’m so sorry.

Gardengal, I am sorry. You are experiencing the reality of the bad. For that I feel for you.

I havent fussed because I am historically oriented and know how bad things can be for people. What we have been going through, as bad as it has been, unfortunately doesn't hold a candle to how bad things can be and have been. So I suck it all up and am happy to have what I have and being able to do what I do. We are lucky to live in the times we live in because it has been so much worse in the past. For those who have had to deal with the worst this pandemic can offer I really feel bad but at the least there are not nearly so many people grieving than there could be and for that I have to be thankful so I have to feel lucky. Not being able to have fun hardly registers.

@roxsol :Irish family has a bat in the house

This is hilarious!

{{{{{gardengal}}}}}

I retired just as the world was turning upsidedown due to Covid. So happy to not be working! Finally able to take the time to try new recipes and really enjoy the process of cooking. I’ve also taken up a new hobby of wool applique and loving that. Recently I’ve become involved with a committee in our HOA.

Thankful to be retired and doing things I want to do, when I want to do them.

I’m sorry for your loss, GardenGal.

My condolences to GardenGal and family.

It's inertia, and yes I feel it too!

Hugs to you and your DD Gardengal. So sorry for your loss!

i am sorry for your loss, Gardengal.

I miss my husband very much. It is difficult after being a caregiver to kind of reschedule yourself or your thinking after doing that. I find myself thinking, "oh, I need to go inside and check on Jody", if I have been outside very long at all.

I have always liked staying home a lot. The pandemic didn't affect me the way it has a lot of people. I have no one to go see anyway. I do go out, three or four times a week, and interact with people that I see, as far as interacting....talking to strangers goes. I don't miss people...although I find myself talking to my animals in a different way. Like telling Emery, "just a few minutes. We have to wait for your alfalfa to soak." I think in the past, I would have just put the alfalfa to soak and went on with my business, instead of initiating a conversation with him....but at least I usually get a soft whinny back when I speak to him, so I guess that amounts to conversation. I am an introvert. While I can talk to just about anyone and I am not shy, given my druthers, I am happy when plans fail and I end up staying home. I will often go out of my way to avoid talking to people.

I do feel some inertia though....some things I dread doing and want to put off. I have the time to do more of the things I like to do, but I just don't want to do them. I chalk that up to losing Jody, rather than the pandemic. It is a profound sadness, but at the same time, I have a lot to take care of, and it is good that I do. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't get out of bed. It is an adjustment to get used to not being with someone that you spent your whole life with.

I'd like to thank everyone who extended their sympathy and good wishes. They are most appreciated.

I did not intend for my comment to become a focus of discussion but just an explanation contributing to why I feel so lethargic and unmotivated. Grief in any form can have very unexpected and profound repercussions on one's life so right now I am taking this just one day at a time. And that seems to work for me.

But what I would like is for this sad event to be a cautionary tale. If you haven't already, GET VACCINATED!! For whatever reason - we never discussed (I just assumed he had been vaxxed) - my ex was hesitant or had put off being vaccinated and I cannot help but think all this could have been so easily avoided. Had I known, I would have nagged him into it......not sure why his current spouse was so lackadaisical.

Sending my sympathy to you GardenGal and your family. Such a hard time.

I have yet to get back to my precovid level at home or elsewhere. Feel very lazy, not really depressed. Going to have to get my mojo back as we are hosting my daughter’s small outdoor wedding at our house in 6 weeks, a lot left to get done. Everyone attending is vaccinated and our area does not have a high rate of Covid currently.

Beyond the wedding, I have to force myself to do things. That said I seem to be doing a bit better on this lately, other than cooking. Most days I have no interest in cooking, once in a great while I will have a day that it interests me.

There's a really good article in the New York Times that describes how I'm feeling, and it sounds like most other people who've commented are too.

"There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing."

Here's the text if you can't access the New York Times:

The neglected middle child of mental health can dull your motivation and focus — and it may be the dominant emotion of 2021.

At first, I didn’t recognize the symptoms that we all had in common. Friends mentioned that they were having trouble concentrating. Colleagues reported that even with vaccines on the horizon, they weren’t excited about 2021. A family member was staying up late to watch “National Treasure” again even though she knows the movie by heart. And instead of bouncing out of bed at 6 a.m., I was lying there until 7, playing Words with Friends.

It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.

Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.

As scientists and physicians work to treat and cure the physical symptoms of long-haul Covid, many people are struggling with the emotional long-haul of the pandemic. It hit some of us unprepared as the intense fear and grief of last year faded.

In the early, uncertain days of the pandemic, it’s likely that your brain’s threat detection system — called the amygdala — was on high alert for fight-or-flight. As you learned that masks helped protect us — but package-scrubbing didn’t — you probably developed routines that eased your sense of dread. But the pandemic has dragged on, and the acute state of anguish has given way to a chronic condition of languish.

In psychology, we think about mental health on a spectrum from depression to flourishing. Flourishing is the peak of well-being: You have a strong sense of meaning, mastery and mattering to others. Depression is the valley of ill-being: You feel despondent, drained and worthless.

Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.

The term was coined by a sociologist named Corey Keyes, who was struck that many people who weren’t depressed also weren’t thriving. His research suggests that the people most likely to experience major depression and anxiety disorders in the next decade aren’t the ones with those symptoms today. They’re the people who are languishing right now. And new evidence from pandemic health care workers in Italy shows that those who were languishing in the spring of 2020 were three times more likely than their peers to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Part of the danger is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference. When you can’t see your own suffering, you don’t seek help or even do much to help yourself.

Even if you’re not languishing, you probably know people who are. Understanding it better can help you help them.

A name for what you’re feeling

Psychologists find that one of the best strategies for managing emotions is to name them. Last spring, during the acute anguish of the pandemic, the most viral post in the history of Harvard Business Reviewwas an article describing our collective discomfort as grief. Along with the loss of loved ones, we were mourning the loss of normalcy. “Grief.” It gave us a familiar vocabulary to understand what had felt like an unfamiliar experience. Although we hadn’t faced a pandemic before, most of us had faced loss. It helped us crystallize lessons from our own past resilience — and gain confidence in our ability to face present adversity.

We still have a lot to learn about what causes languishing and how to cure it, but naming it might be a first step. It could help to defog our vision, giving us a clearer window into what had been a blurry experience. It could remind us that we aren’t alone: languishing is common and shared.

And it could give us a socially acceptable response to “How are you?”

Instead of saying “Great!” or “Fine,” imagine if we answered, “Honestly, I’m languishing.” It would be a refreshing foil for toxic positivity — that quintessentially American pressure to be upbeat at all times.

When you add languishing to your lexicon, you start to notice it all around you. It shows up when you feel let down by your short afternoon walk. It’s in your kids’ voices when you ask how online school went. It’s in “The Simpsons”every time a character says, “Meh.”

Last summer, the journalist Daphne K. Lee tweeted about a Chinese expression that translates to “revenge bedtime procrastination.” She described it as staying up late at night to reclaim the freedom we’ve missed during the day. I’ve started to wonder if it’s not so much retaliation against a loss of control as an act of quiet defiance against languishing. It’s a search for bliss in a bleak day, connection in a lonely week, or purpose in a perpetual pandemic.

An antidote to languishing

So what can we do about it? A concept called “flow” may be an antidote to languishing. Flow is that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away. During the early days of the pandemic, the best predictor of well-being wasn’t optimism or mindfulness — it was flow. People who became more immersed in their projects managed to avoid languishing and maintained their pre-pandemic happiness.

An early-morning word game catapults me into flow. A late-night Netflix binge sometimes does the trick too — it transports you into a story where you feel attached to the characters and concerned for their welfare.

While finding new challenges, enjoyable experiences and meaningful work are all possible remedies to languishing, it’s hard to find flow when you can’t focus. This was a problem long before the pandemic, when people were habitually checking email 74 times a day and switching tasks every 10 minutes. In the past year, many of us also have been struggling with interruptions from kids around the house, colleagues around the world, and bosses around the clock. Meh.

Fragmented attention is an enemy of engagement and excellence. In a group of 100 people, only two or three will even be capable of driving and memorizing information at the same time without their performance suffering on one or both tasks. Computers may be made for parallel processing, but humans are better off serial processing.

Give yourself some uninterrupted time

That means we need to set boundaries. Years ago, a Fortune 500 software company in India tested a simple policy: no interruptions Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. When engineers managed the boundary themselves, 47 percent had above-average productivity. But when the company set quiet time as official policy, 65 percent achieved above-average productivity. Getting more done wasn’t just good for performance at work: We now know that the most important factor in daily joy and motivation is a sense of progress.

I don’t think there’s anything magical about Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. The lesson of this simple idea is to treat uninterrupted blocks of time as treasures to guard. It clears out constant distractions and gives us the freedom to focus. We can find solace in experiences that capture our full attention.

Focus on a small goal

The pandemic was a big loss. To transcend languishing, try starting with small wins, like the tiny triumph of figuring out a whodunit or the rush of playing a seven-letter word. One of the clearest paths to flow is a just-manageable difficulty: a challenge that stretches your skills and heightens your resolve. That means carving out daily time to focus on a challenge that matters to you — an interesting project, a worthwhile goal, a meaningful conversation. Sometimes it’s a small step toward rediscovering some of the energy and enthusiasm that you’ve missed during all these months.

Languishing is not merely in our heads — it’s in our circumstances. You can’t heal a sick culture with personal bandages. We still live in a world that normalizes physical health challenges but stigmatizes mental health challenges. As we head into a new post-pandemic reality, it’s time to rethink our understanding of mental health and well-being. “Not depressed” doesn’t mean you’re not struggling. “Not burned out” doesn’t mean you’re fired up. By acknowledging that so many of us are languishing, we can start giving voice to quiet despair and lighting a path out of the void.

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at Wharton, the author of “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know” and the host of the TED podcast WorkLife.

Seems like many of us are unmotivated. I know I am. I just do the bare minimum. I hope when this blazing summer( 88 now in Sept) is over I will feel more inspired.

So sorry gardengal about your ex.

I’ve been feeling this way for a few years and the last year has made it on,y worse.

I need imposed structure to really function well, and without work, with DH working from home for a few years, and DS’ constantly changing school situation, on top of trying to accommodate the timings at my parents’ before they oassed away, and having lost my music and gym routine, I have no reason to do anything in a timely manner. Music starts up again next week, we hope, but it is only weekly.

I do go grocery shopping in between DH’s weekly trips, just to get out.

I'm still working and wish I could do it at home. Was hoping that would come this weekend or tonight but someone at home was having issues and complained. Headset issues that really don't affect me at all, so now the rest of us are on hold for going home. I'm a little upset about that especially since the issue seems to be that the person just wants to be able to roam around their house and still answer the phone. Their headset doesn't allow them answer away from the computer......

Kathsgrdn, I am so sorry one person has the power to hold your whole team hostage like this. I know how much you were looking forward to working from home. I hope this works out soon for you.

Judy, what a timely post.

I've posted about the loss of my husband.

Gardengal, I understand and feel for you.

But, dealing with the pandemic and the isolation of losing the normal, everyday contacts, meetings and sense of freedom to not think about getting infected with a virus, has changed my life, and affected me more than I could imagine.

I am languishing. I feel like I'm stuck in quicksand. I feel like a person with ADD. I really start one thing and then start another and another, never completing anything. Time seems to just drift by and I've lost a sense of time.

Living in Florida, the numbers of Covid is so high I only go into stores if I have too. I need to make doctor appointments but am really uncomfortable about doing that. The wonderful Governor here has said he'll fine any store or business that imposes mask mandates or vaccination proof. I know someone here who works in a dermatologist office doing Botox and other treatments and has not been vaccinated. Really...?

You can't even ask a doctors office if his staff has been vaccinated. This is like the worse State to live in. So many refuse vaccinations and masks. It really makes no sense.

That was a great article, Sephia and describes me completely. Lonely, drifting through the day. I need structure and contact with others.

Jane

and then some.

I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. my new neighbor neighbor decided to take out two HUGE shade trees ... my award winning garden that i have been working on for three decades is gone. gone. GONE.

along with all the plant tags. and the soil has been compressed/packed down to hard pack.

I could cry.

if it wasn't under one of my three pergolas i built ... it was destroyed

it's just one more thing ... on top of everything else

I feel like the life has been sucked out of me.

it was where i went to work during covid ... my solace; my refuge from the madness of the world.

trees in background were ripped out. everything else, and more, is gone.

I am languishing. I feel like I'm stuck in quicksand. I feel like a person with ADD. I really start one thing and then start another and another, never completing anything. Time seems to just drift by and I've lost a sense of time.

Jane, I could have written that. I always had an excellent sense of time, but not now. And as for starting things and not finishing, even the simplest task can get abandoned sometimes--like the other day when I discovered I'd gotten distracted and neglected to finish cleaning a litter box.

I did ask my cardiologist's PA if the staff was vaccinated, and she said, "Some are, some aren't." I asked because the chairs in the waiting room were positioned close together--no social distancing--and a couple of patients could be overheard saying they weren't vaccinated.

I don't envy you living in Florida right now.

I can’t concentrate. (This rant is going to be all over the place) I used to have a list of things I wanted done, and I would do them.

I think I’m worn out.

I was my mom’s caregiver. Since June, she is down in MD with my sister (I live in NYC). She could no longer live alone. She was stubborn about wanting to stay in her apartment she’s lived in since she sold the house in ’95. I had helped her since 2005 when she had heart surgery. She was legally blind. Each year she needed more help. Since January she was showing signs of rapid mental decline It was getting dangerous.

My husband said if I wanted he’d be ok with her coming here. We live one flight up, 1200sq ft, one bathroom.

My sister had said she’d take her when need be. 3500sq ft, four bathroom house in the country. Choice was clear right?

My older daughter had a baby in July 2020. A bright spot in our lives, but with her husband away working 6 weeks on, 4 weeks off, I have helped her too.

2020 was a nightmare Going between my frail, elderly mother, my daughter (either pregnant or with a newborn) my own husband, younger daughter and son here, not to mention myself….

honestly, I’m a wreck.

Now, we’ve started end of life plans. My sister has hospice care set up. Brother and I visited funeral home to get a plan in place

Now we have the apartment and belongings to take care of Lease is up on November 30 🤦‍♀️😳 😥

Indeed, I can really sympathize, Michelle. We're dealing with caring for my 91 year old mom with multiple disabilities and increasing needs since early last year. She's much stronger now than she was, but has dementia and cannot do so many things for herself any more.

So I can add that to the list of very good reasons to feel down.

So many of us are dealing with aging parents and their increasing needs. The systems and support here in the USA are spotty at best and most definitely not uniform across states, counties and cities - plus how severely impacted care services have been by the pandemic. I count my blessings we have a strongly connected family and the means to provide paid in-home aid.

What a lovely thing to say, Chisue! im particularly blue in the morning so its very nice to be able to read threads such as these befor i get crackin’.

It's assuring that I am not alone feeling isolated apathetic and wondering how I'll get thru another covid winter. My daughter is frustrated that we continue to live in our old 1840 white elephant of a house . But she doesn't consider my feelings that after 38 years I know every nook and cranny here plus the half-acre of trees and bushes and ponds, my wildlife sanctuary. They'll have to drag me out of here.

Oh, Michele. Look after yourself. I hope things get better for you.

Lily, I feel the same way about my c. 1850 house, and your daughter sounds like my daughter.

Maybe I was 'saved' by an attack of empathy...or community. Anyway, I treasure this site.

Gardengal,

Michele my sympathies! We just went through the same with my sister-in-law. Her place is finally emptied and it was nothing but full-time work until it was done. Most of the time there were three of us and for the last bit there were five of us getting everything sorted. Boy was I ever glad two more joined in! It made a huge difference.

I hope you either have or hire enough help! I also hope things go smoothly from now on.

((((((Michele)))))

Michele, thoughts and prayers are with you.

OP, I tend to agree. I've always been a bit of a homebody and covid just solidified that for me. One saving grace here is having a school aged kid. It FORCES me to get up and get moving each day. For me, a schedule is a very good thing. I'm terrified they will close the schools again.

During covid, kids were off school and DH was working from home. I got almost nothing done. Many of the projects and tasks I do to keep things running just fell by the wayside or got done to a lower standard. After more than a year of not doing them, they don't seem to matter much anymore. Bathroom doesn't get painted- meh, it apparently doesn't make much difference. Today I did steam clean some carpets for the first time since before covid. That actually feels like a big deal.

The spare bedroom got renamed "the hoard room" during covid, and that hasn't changed. It's not that bad and I do go through stuff, but my motivation to get it back to the lovely work room it once was is just gone for now. It just looks like a cluttered catch all.

Because everybody was always here, I wasn't able to exercise (use to use a nordic track and it was too noisy with others around), so we cooked and ate instead. I gained 20 lbs and my blood pressure isn't as great as it use to be... That's the one thing I do need to find some motivation to correct.

It doesn't help that there are some other issues here that put a damper on the house, so I can't really say that it was all covid, but it surely is a large part of it.. A few weeks ago though, we went out shopping at Target and I just didn't care to be in the store. It felt like a lot of work wandering around the store trying to find what I needed. Would rather just sit on the couch in the evening and slowly fill an online cart...