Jakabedy personal before and after and general update thread
The pic I posted in one of the "Show me your . . ." threads generated some questions, so I thought I should give some updates.
2018: Bad year in general. Marital shenanigans (second round) discovered, divorced. Birth dad identified, contacted, no desire for contact. Birth mom identified, contacted, no desire for contact. Ongoing challenges with my mom (adoptive mom), and she begrudgingly agreed to go to therapy with me toward the end of the year. All told, a year of rejection and disappointment, and I was glad to put it in my rear-view mirror.
2019: As they say in football, "it was a rebuilding year." The therapy failed, as early in the year my mom decided she no longer wanted me in her life. I've respected that wish and am at peace with it (my own life is much more peaceful as a result). I stayed busy paying off my divorce, rebuilding cash reserves, and working on complex work projects, despite an increasingly problematic employee. Things were looking up toward the end of the year when the post-divorce fog cleared a bit and I decided to get serious about my health and begin a diet and exercise regimen. I also decided that 2020 would be my year of travel!!
2020: Well, we all know how that one went. Travel didn't happen. Lost two staff at work the week before COVID hit and was unable to replace them. Lots of pinch hitting on admin duties that had to be done while professional duties had to take a back seat. The one remaining employee (the problematic one) ramped up her unhappiness and dragged me through quite a bit before turning her ire on my bosses, who then could see that this just, maybe, perhaps, might be something more than a "catfight" or a "communication problem." She retired at the end of 2020. Despite all that, I was somehow magically able to channel all the work and COVID frustration into continued improved health. After a year of diet/exercise, I was down 85 pounds. I also managed to hang all the pictures in my house, paint my fireplace, paint all the trim on the south side of my house, clean out the garage and shed, sell a bunch of stuff, and install my kitchen backsplash. I'm that person you may have heard about who managed to make lockdown a positive, productive experience.
2021: Diet and health regimen continues. By spring I had reached my initial soft goal: a loss of 135#. Spring also brought a promotion/salary increase that had been communicated just before COVID hit back in early 2020 and locked down all employment actions. In the spring I also got the go-ahead to backfill the position of the departed problem employee and recraft it to better fit my needs, and was successful in my sales pitch that the admin position is really two admin positions, so got to post for my own admin as well. Things were good! I figured I was on a roll, so finally took the suggestion of a few good friends and got on some dating apps. MUCH FAILURE! NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! VERY HUMBLING! But also . . . eventual success. My mantra: "It only takes one." I'm now in month 3 of a relationship with a really amazing guy. Smart, funny, talented, quirky . . . all the things on my list. And he actually -- miracle of miracles -- likes me. I struggle to avoid second guessing it (dang baggage), but I'm winning the fight.
So, it's been an evolution. I've got about 20# to go with the weight loss, but I'm not charging hard at it right now. I'm resting and enjoying life a bit. My new team at work is AMAZING. I'm thankful for them every day. So, onward and upward. First pic is me about 10# ago standing in one leg of a pair of my ca. 2016 jeans. Second pic is of me and my fella in Las Vegas a few weeks ago. Whatever it is you're slogging through, keep slogging through it. There really is a light at the end of the (sometimes very long) tunnel.
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LynnNM
2 years agoYou look fantastic! I would have walked right past you and not recognized you! Yes, you indeed had several really crummy years, but I’m so glad that you’ve put them behind you and thrived. You‘ve made it though the “flames” and I think you seriously need to change your name/handle here to The Phoenix! You’ve definitely earned the name!
jakabedy thanked LynnNMjakabedy
2 years ago
Yayagal