So there were these scientists studying a frog. They decided to teach the frog to jump on command. 'jump frog' they would say. He did. Then the team decided to expand the test. 'jump frog' they said. He jumped 16 feet! They removed one of his legs. 'jump frog' they said. He jumped 12 feet! A second leg was removed. 'jump frog'; he jumped 8 feet. A third leg removed. 'jump frog'. He jumped four feet. They removed his last leg. 'jump frog'. Nothing. 'jump frog' they commanded. Still nothing. Last chance. 'jump frog'. He doesn't move. Their conclusion? 'Frogs without legs can't hear.' science speaks [until you remove their legs?]

My boss calls me "the computer". It has nothing to do with intelligence, I just fall asleep after 15 minutes if left unattended.

Some goodies from the original Hollywood Squares Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! The audience laughed so long and hard at this one. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years? A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

jim, you remind me of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle who so hated Sherlock Holmes that he killed him off...but then had to bring him back due to popular demand.