The value of this furniture - moving mom into nursing home
PeaceOfHome
2 years ago
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arcy_gw
2 years agoroarah
2 years agoRelated Discussions
Mom with dementia upset about move
Comments (66)My mom has had Dementia for a while and she moved from an apartment to a room and board where she wasn’t taking her meds, never changing clothes, showering etc and had a small dog that she loved but was neglected and she would forget to feed etc. i ended up going to take care of her once a week, give her a bath, change her clothes, clean her room and take care of her dog. the Dementia grew worse. She would call the police 3-4 times a day, accused me of stealing from her and that the ppl at her room and board were poisoning her. They finally kicked her out and after I had been looking for months to find a semi-affordable assisted living/memory care facility that I will have to help pay for due to her limited funds, I was able to move her there and had to tell her the dog would join her another day because she said she wanted to live in the street with her dog. She’s not not been there a week and attempted to leave multiple times, continues to ask for her dog and leaves me awful messages that she’s gonna have me arrested, that she hates it there and that I’m dead to her. Doctors are going to increase or change her meds to assist with her anxiety. It’s been draining, and depressing- I am her only child and I have spent so much time taking care of her and all I get in return is vulgar words, messages and accusations - and all the while I am working extra to pay for her damn care while I have a family of my own and the money I pay for her is taking away from my own kids. It’s painful....it’s comforting to see others on here with similar stories of how awful loved become with Dementia.......See MoreNursing Home Questions
Comments (19)I didn't meant to sound harsh and in re-reading my post and I can see where I did...so I'm sorry. In my nursing home..yes...we all accommodate tours at all times...pop-ins and all...but I also can't tell you how many times people have dropped in and demanded a tour right away...sometimes this does a dis-service to the tour-ee. In other words, if a member of the admissions department or social work department aren't available they are accommodated by members of different departments who often aren't able to answer the questions they may have nor give them any advice. They can end up walking away with incomplete information which can be quite frustrating. It is a fact of life, however, and we (meanng Nursing Home staff) are used to it but it can be a bit frustrating for us sometimes. In a perfect world everyone would make an appointment...but it certainly isn't a perfect world so that's ok. As for the discharge planner giving you that advice...it's common practice. And again, that's ok, too...it says to do that in all of the literature on "how to pick a nursing home", etc. but it's still, in my opinion, not necessarily the best way to go. And although you raise very good points, Fairegold I still strongly disagree about having individuals tour independently without escort. It's a HIPPA issue...a security issue...and a dignity issue. If your loved one was living in a nursing home would you want some crazy person wandering around un-escorted? You never know who can wander in looking around. And although I agree residents LOVE visitors it is the nursing home's responsibility to maintain their safety, privacy, and dignity. A tour can say hello and even stop and chat all they want...they just better have a staff member with them! I stand firm on that issue. Adrienne...See MoreNursing home - The financial process?
Comments (22)My Grandmother had a massive stroke 11 years ago. She was far, far too well off to qualify for medicare. So the house was sold, the assets were liquified and my Aunt has had to use Grammys money to pay for the nursing home...for the last 11 years. The first place she was in was nice, a private home converted to a small place, she had a private room. It was very expensive, but no one really expected her to survive too long. About 3 years ago she was moved to another place, shared room in another facility that is not nearly as nice. I hate that she's there, but no one is equipped to keep her at their home (she needs 24 hour medical attention). The place is your sterotypical nursing home, and she's just gone downhill so much, yet she still lives. She told my cousin last year that she just wanted to die, but she's got those damned genes...longevity is in her system. Sorry to be such a bummer, but this is a situation that really bugs me. I hope your coworker can find some respite care...is there an Alzheimers support group? They might have some options or suggestions. My next door neighbor's mother has alzheimers, and she's finally gotten to the point where she's basically bed ridden now, so he can finally get out of the house on occasion. But it's really, really tough on the caretakers in the meantime....See MoreStay at home mom - OR - working mom - what is your choice??
Comments (26)Are you a stay-at-home mom? Yes If so, a) what age was your child(ren) when you began to stay home with them? since birth. I graduated nsg school 6 days before she was born but I've never put it to use YET why do you chose to stay home with your children? I find being at home keeps me very busy & fulfilled. I've never understood SAHM who claim they are bored. I have 1 daughter, 3 dogs, a home & my husband's business I do much of the work for plus I made sure to start involving myself & my daughter in school & plenty of activities. Gosh if I never have to work I would be so happy BUT chances are that when the last of my kids is in fulltme school I'll at last work part-time. are you financially secure enough to be home and not work? Like everyone else we could always use the extra $. We don't have a retirement a/c set up, we have to buy our own very expensive health ins., we havn't been on a great vacation in several yrs, we no longer go to fancy dinners, our home could use allot more remodeling, our cars are old but in good condition & paid for & I am always comparison shopping BUT we have no debt despite every month praising when we've paid the last bills. Our daughter is in private school & already takes 4 sets of lessons at age 3 & when we have our day trips or do happen to go out we truly go all out & enjoy, plus since I have no family help at all I have been lucky enough to be able to pay for a mothers helper or sitter for those times I need to catch up on the home, errands or the business paperwork or go to my many medical appts (I was diagnosed with MS a yr ago). All in all I'm happy, but my husband is self employed & he'd like to make a switch right now & he can't b/c we don't have enough $ in the bank nor another income. I had a stay at home Mom when I grew up & feel there is nothing better. I think that while kids are young I prefer being aorund for safety & to be involved in all the firsts, then they start activities & who else is going to chaperone them everywhere & then later on I want to be around so they have support & hopefully I can prevent them from making some bad choices that they might make had they not had any parent at home during the day after school. what are the ages and gender of your kids? daughter age 3 & working on #2 Michie...See Moreroarah
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