Talk to the teacher and talk to, and listen to your daughter. The important thing is not whether in an objective sense, it's a lot of responsibility so much as whether your daughter feels like it is a lot of responsibility or burdensome to her. One way people have had success with different 'buddying' systems for support has been to have alternating designated 'buddies.' The people defined as 'buddies' (your daughter's present duties and position) should have defined limited terms so that they can have breaks. The child who needs the support can gain experience interacting with others too. It can be a very positive experience for the whole class as well as an excellent way to build a sense of 'community' among people/students. It's true that in a literal sense, people can't 'be their brother's keeper' but it is also true that some people are just uncommonly gifted in different areas in ways that allow them to be able to help others. Helping others who require help basically helps out the whole group (in the smaller sense of the whole class, or even your daughter and the girl with the vision problems; or in the larger sense of all of humanity). People in your daughter's position might well be gifted enough to theoretically be able to perform naturally well as a 'buddy.' That shouldn't be allowed to cloud the fact of her age and developmental stage, and the fact that she has needs too. She should have a limited, defined role as a 'buddy' and it probably would be better for _everyone_ involved to have a system that allows for rotating 'buddies.' The problem for the teacher then is to figure out if they can, and how they can (all the rest of the class) be included. Some children may not be able to perform as well, or might need 'buddy training' or something to be able to do even minimally well. The teacher should be informed that your daughter sounds like she's feeling 'burnt out' over this chore. You can listen to your daughter. You can share your own experiences of when you had to perform something similar (caregiving?, aid?, and there was seemingly no end to this role). If you've had that kind of experience you can give her tips and encouragement. Does she think that there are other students in the class who could do a good job and work well with the girl who has vision problems? Would a rotation schedule where the different student 'buddies' had limited terms of duty help for her? (You can ask her those kinds of questions). it's really hard to maintain motivation and anything like a positive attitude when it feels like a 'duty' is only a chore and like one person has been singled out to bear the load so to speak (take time to say out loud how appreciative you are about how she does things, and how she's been able to work in a caregiving sort of capacity like that... some adults are more or less incapable of functioning in that capacity at all; she's probably an extraordinary first grader)

Obviously, the original post has resolved itself one way or another, many years ago. However, just in case others in a similar situation happen along and read this: Babysitting at age 12? Before you allow your child to do this, OR hire a 12 year old sitter for the most precious things in your live, good idea to check the laws in your locale. It's illegal in my state, for children under the age of 13 to either babysit (including siblings) or to be left home alone. Of course, that's not a law that's enforced many times, BUT if something were to happen when a 12 year old were left in charge of children, there could be serious legal ramifications (one of which is that the children can be taken away from the parents). Also, no matter how responsible a 12 year old is, are they educated in advanced first aid? Do they know how to recognize and handle a household emergency (do they know how to turn off the water, the electric, how to replace a fuse?) could a 12 year old protect herself and a couple of children if the house were broken into by some grown men while they were there? She certainly couldn't pack the kids into the car if an ER run became necessary. Personally? I'm not a big fan of letting young teens babysit because they don't have the education or life experiences to handle the kinds of situations listed above. The one exception might be, if the young teen were sitting for the next door neighbor, and her mom was home to help if needed.

Well, it's not like waiting for her to grow up, if it works for her she is not going to stop. Your husband favoring his daughter is never going to change either. The only chance for that to change is when you tell him you want a divorce. Then you will find out if he loves you enough to support your feelings. In the mean time protect your assets if you have any and make plans for the break.

I deleted some stuff that doesn't apply to your situation. ............................................................ A couple in my church adopted a little boy whose parents' rights had been severed because of sexual abuse. The first year of life with Daniel was traumatic for all three: Daniel's kindergarten called the new mom to come pick him up because he was approaching children and adults sexually. Daniel went to a few birthday parties & was quickly blacklisted because of his sexual overtures to guests & parents. Daniel & his new parents went to intensive counselling, & the new mom quit her job to take care of Daniel... not only did he need full-time mothering, but he kept getting thrown out of day care. The parents learned that children who have been abused sexually almost always approach others sexually; it's what the children have learned to do for attention, approval, companionship...love, or a cheap facimile thereof. Yet their abusers have also shamed them into keeping the big secret; Daniel never said one word about previous sexual "activity". Based on what you *know* of sexual activity at her mother's house, I'd bet that this young girl has seen, *& been involved in*, a lot more than you know. She'll keep approaching people, girls, boys, grown men, whoever, sexually because *that's what she knows how to do*. ............................................................ Please get some help for this little girl, & keep her safe. If you 'give her back' to someone who's led her a chaotic existence & allowed her to be sexually abused, I think the day will come when you will find it impossible to forgive yourself. I wish you the best.