Oh yes. We live in a beautiful area as well, and things may be improving overall, but where I live there's plenty of obstinate knuckleheads, including state leadership. We're still slogging along, keeping the same precautions because of that, and it's wearing.

And there's so much in the news about horrific situations around the world - India and Brazil are nightmares right now. People are still being abused and killed unjustly around the country too.

I'm having a hard time making myself get things done. I find myself without energy - not wanting to do anything

I think ennui is part of it, and the other is discouragement.

Of course, Salonva! Most of us have been on a roller coaster of emotions for over a year and have experienced terrible losses but hopefully some happy things as well. I lost my dear sister/best friend in November, and yesterday was difficult because I miss her so much. On the other hand, I had a new granddaughter born that same month.

Most of the time I'm ok, but not always. I made a list of things which helped me survive: my husband, gardening, my kids' and friends' phone calls, morning walks, my dog, hobbies like knitting. Cooking, housecleaning keep me busy too (ugh).

I'm truly sorry you are struggling and hope you have better days ahead. I'm glad you posted. It's good to share. Keep walking. I wonder if it would help and be safe to have a walking partner (human, canine?) Stay in touch with friends.

Yes...and live in pretty much the same type of area as you. The feeling comes and

goes...and seems to strike more when I am tired. I went to the Green House yesterday and was so happy to see the flowers, etc., etc., came home tired, but

feeling really happy....last evening I felt a bit sad again...for absolutely no known reason.

Yes, but I've decided to blame it on the neighbors. I feel like I'm trapped in a "Real Housewives" television show. ALL the women talk smack about each other. Call each other names. Throw out insults like a small child with no filter.

I've started jogging a park across town that makes me happy. People there are completely "normal". They all say good morning when passing each other....just "normal". It's night & day. I still see old friends. Like you I have a list of things to do...and chores to get done. Life is good......but it gets weird if I talk to anyone in the hood.

I think the pandemic has exacerbated my down-ness. It’s been a difficult few years anyway. And the restrictions and conversations have made some things that I need to get done difficult or more expensive, and just less fun. And all that brings me down further. Pretty much the reason I get out of bed in the morning is to drive my son to class.

DH and I go for walks, but we tend to do the same walks. We have some lovely areas to walk in, but he doesn’t like to take too much time away from his work to drive too far afield.

The NYT had an article about how people are experiencing this lack of motivation. An inability to get yourself going.They call it languishing. I feel it, too, although life circumstances force me to get going. Languishing

It could also be from a lack of vitamin D.

Neglected to mention I'm caring for my 90 year old mom who has a number of disabilities, including mild brain trauma & dementia. I live 5 minutes away, and go to her house 2 or more times a day to fix her breakfast, put out meds, fix dinner, take her to Dr. appointments, etc.. My son lives with her and does a lot as well. We've both been working throughout all this time too. I'm mostly remote and part time, but he is not remote and is full time.

She's not going to get any better, and that also makes me so sad 😟

I think another aspect is that this seems to be a new wave of grieving because it's becoming more and more clear that so much will never be the same.

Yes. It's a let down feeling despite the fact that things are relatively normal in many ways. I get this when I'm tired as well.

I think we have forced ourselves to listen to the rules and be at home a lot for good reason. But the longer you are forced to do something you don't like to do the more difficult and upsetting it is. We are all pretty much going against our natural tendencies.

Many of us have remained stalwart and forward facing. We do what we need to do of course.

However with the realization that it is not going to be completely over easily and that we are not going to get back to normal easily and that many people are going to resist even the belief of the situation adds up to this unease which is a real Downer at least for me.

I miss having structure to my days. If you're working, or looking after a child, you have a schedule imposed on you. But being retired and no little kids in the family, DH and I depended on other activities for structure: gym, adult education classes, visits with my Dad, weekly church service, etc. I also enjoyed going to shows, planning little trips, marking the calendar with events we might want to attend. All that gave me a sense of the passage of time ... the value of time. Now it seems like time is value-less, because all the days feel alike.

Well, except for Tuesdays -- city trash day. Yay!

I also miss being around people, feeling part of a group. Social media helps, but I miss actual face to face interactions.

Hang in there. All this disruption caused by the pandemic will get much better, pretty quickly.

oh, definitely understand the feeling. I stopped watching the news because it was giving me anxiety and an impending feeling of doom. Motivation is severely lacking on my part. Now at 56, I understand what my grandparents were feeling when they saw the world changing and didn't understand it. I have seen my children and grandchildren through the pandemic, but life gets busy and I do miss them. Something to me, just doesn't feel right with the world right now

Everything is bringing me down right now. Humanity makes me just want to get as far away from it as possible. Problem is, I wouldn't survive for long on my own.

Wondering if others are doing the same but I was fine last year but started feeling a little down when the vaccine was actually soon to be released. I was happy when I received my first shot but felt nothing with the second. Since it appears that in my state all restrictions are going to removed, masks were always by local entity, either at the end of May or July 15 at the latest I have been feeling slightly depressed which is a different feeling than feeling down. Not ready to go to the doctor for zombie pills but have been thinking of it which tells me I am depressed. I should be looking forward to doing things like my trip to Europe this fall but I keep thinking it is not worth the effort along with many other things that used to be my normal activities.

Yes, yes, and yes. I have been getting more depressed with every passing day. Although I'm a month past my second shot I still behave as if it's last year. I don't mask outside but always indoors in a building or store. All sorts of little things eventually add up like a two-year-old Subaru with a two-month-old battery was dead! So half of yesterday was at the Subaru place where it turns out a tiny hatch light we didn't even know was there got knocked of the automatic position when loading big chairs. Stuff like that. The biggest stressor is husband going in at 6 tomorrow for a heart catheterization process before his valve surgery next week. The procedure takes 35 minutes but he will be there from 6 AM to? and that's the easy step. And he can't drive for 3-5 days!!!

I sure can relate to all of you. I, too, have that odd feeling of depression mixed with lethargy, mixed with loneliness, mixed with all sorts of other emotions. I have no energy and many days do nothing but sit and read or watch tv. Yesterday I met a friend at an outdoor seating area at a restaurant and it was lovely but I really just wanted to come home.

as @Ded tired noted above.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

I can understand also salonva. It has been exceptionally beautiful outdoors and I was hoping that as soon as all my staff is fully vaccinated we might be able to unmask in the kitchen. It would make the coming hot weather more bearable. Sadly, I just heard that another business in my very compliant town is closed for a few days bc of covid. I’d hoped that were past this.

I’ll read the other comments later. Yeah. I know the feeling.

Especially at the beginning of this year. I felt, and still feel that I am running on fumes. Somehow I operate, but I think I need a break, and I’m not likely to get one anytime soon, so I am on automatic pilot.

Virtual hugs all around

That's one thing I do miss, tho I'm fortunate to live with someone so I can hug when I want to.

Seriously, hugging releases oxytocin and does help us feel better.

Go hug someone, and if you can't hug someone, hug yourself.

PTSD: Pandemic traumatic stress disorder

The article in the NY Times on "languishing" is excellent. It describes perfectly how I'm feeling.

I'm a month past my second vaccine but not a lot has really changed. It's comforting to know that I most likely won't end up on a ventilator, or worse, but things like travel to Europe still isn't available. And with so many people refusing to get vaccinated, how long are we going to continue dealing with this?

Yesterday I saw on my local news the statistics on how the counties on the west side of my state are doing. One of them is on the verge of being rolled back to an earlier phase of restrictions. That same county also has the lowest percentage of vaccinated people. So there's a correlation between being vaccinated and the number of hospitalizations / deaths. Honestly, at this point, if my state is forced back and businesses suffer as a consequence, all those business owners need to point their fingers at the people who won't get vaccinated. They are the ones prolonging this nightmare.

I make 'To Do' lists to get myself out of a funk. The list includes a lot of easy to do dumb stuff along with more involved projects. Gives me direction, redirects my thinking and provides me with a sense of accomplishment when I can cross things off the list.

I appreciate all the comments, and really appreciate knowing that others can relate (though I am sorry to read that as well).. I am going to re-read each of the comments but want to express my gratitude to each one.

. I do the walks often with DH ( and dog), and I even enjoy the walks by myself. About once a week, I do walk with a walking buddy; a new friend I made since we moved here almost 3 years ago. A few groups I belong to are starting to meet again (very slowly and mostly virtually still)- book clubs, social groups etc but I guess it's going at a snail's pace. One of the book clubs will be meeting in mid May in person so that's progress.

I have the usual family stuff going on but no crises and certainly nothing like Lily and Carol (who really do have so much on their plates-- wishing you strength!) and I do take Vitamin D supplements even though quite honestly I believe I am getting plenty of it from being outside.

The To Do lists are something I need to return to even if it's not projects but activities or suggestions. As I mentioned we moved here a few years ago, and of course any progress I was making with social connections really came to a standstill and regressed over the past year. So I guess I am feeling that need even more so and have so limited number of even acquaintances to call and invite for a walk or do something with. I have to work on that.

Thanks everyone .

lily...(((hugs)))

I was so happy to celebrate the New Year thinking 2021 would usher in a new beginning, end to the stress of isolation, end of giving up so many things we missed for a year.

Didn't happen, frankly everything got worse. I got diagnosed with Shingles on Jan 4 after thinking I had some sort of bug bites on my scalp, or worse than that...lice!

Went to Urgent Care in a panic and got diagnosed with Shingles on my scalp. Okay. that was bad and is still bad but that wasn't the only thing. Hubby got sick end of January, wound up with a UTI. Okay, I thought nothing terrible, I've had those over the years. No, they catheterize him...What!!!

Life continued to go down hill from there. My Shingles got worse, I now have nerve pain in my scalp which is like getting electrocuted during the day and night. Treatment hasn't worked. Still living with this pain, hubby wound up in the hospital, and our son got layed off from his job and has moved home.

I could go on and on, nothing has resolved at all except our son got a job working remotely. Husband is still in rehab, I'm still in horrible pain due to nerve damage to my head, and there seems no end in sight.

Luckily, we did all get vaccinated but my husband only got one shot and is way overdue for his second shot because his condition from the UTI left him in bad condition.

So, yes. The pandemic has changed my life in so many ways. So many terrible ways.

Jane

Jane! I’m not going into the details, but yes, I can relate. I’m so sorry.

This pandemic had/has a way of complicating every little thing. Forget about the big things. It’s been brutal.

I remember yearning for some feeling of relief with the start of the new year and the promise of a new start.

It’s going to take time to heal from this horrible year.

So sorry to learn of the trials and tribulations of others here. Here's hoping that better days are ahead...

Jane, I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time. I so hope things improve for you and your family soon.

I'm completely relating to salonva. I've been way too uninspired and really getting nothing done and I don't know exactly why, cannot quite put a finger on it. Things are getting ever so slightly better state wide here, although we are seeing waves of infections occurring since Easter and gathering. There seems to be something of a slowdown with vaccinating here. Vaccine is available but the younger crowd are not signing up for the shots at the rate those of us older did.

A long time dear friend dumped me over politics of all things. I’ve been ruminating on it for several days.That’s the source of my funk.

BeeOhio, my adHnis very emotionally connected to his political beliefs. He does nit want to continue a friendship with a friend of mine’s DH. This will become awkward as we socialized every now and again as couples.

I’m so sorry Eld6161. I can see how that would be awkward.

My friend lives several states away so we don’t socialize but had a close email/messenger relationship, sharing & caring, remembering old times together etc. I’ll get over it, but right now I’m very sad about it.