Beverly-thanks for the information on H. cathayana. I am going to have to go out and do some checking. The plants I am talking about were given to Les by a neighbor who was moving. He'd gotten his from his mother who "had tons and tons of them. I remember when he'd brought them home and planted them. His suv was loaded and he had enough to plant around his house, both sides of his front walkway and one side of his driveway. He said it didn't even put a dent in what his Mom had. That sure sounds like it could be a prolific seeder, doesn't it. Les did an NOID inquiry here on HF and the assumption was that it was Lancifolia. But that was before we have gained experience with it. Several times in the past year I have posted here regarding groupings of Albomarginata and what I'd believed to be Lancifolia for their abundant flowers. Around here there are the GrW and the Gr hostas everywhere and the Gr seems the same as what I have. I will start a new post regarding the history of H. cathayana. It seems 'time for the tape and camera'. Theresa This post was edited by gogirlterri on Mon, Jul 29, 13 at 7:51

People didn't generally allow fear of what might happen to control their lives. Kids carried pocket knives, teens carried rifles, illness was something you avoided best you could and accepted as part of living. Neighbors resolved issues of bad behavior without calling the police, men protected their families and neighborhoods, everyone's parent became YOUR parent if you misbehaved and, get this, you actually had to win to get a trophy, There were inside voices and outside voices. There were places for adults and places for children. In between places were stores, family restaurants and movies. But any screaming or misbehaving child would immediately be removed. We learned to swim in creeks, lakes and rivers, not pools. At the bakery a child would get a free cookie, at the butcher's or meat dept. a child would be given a hot dog or a thick slice of bologna.

Katie, As a mother with a child who is being mistreated by his stepfather I can relate to how awful it can feel to have someone so difficult in your life. Being rejected consistently for a long period of time hurts, especially when the same person can treat your sibling so much better. This is the case with my own husband; treating my son like he's the worst, always assuming his intentions are bad, etc. Yet my daughter is a princess who can do no wrong; she can backtalk and misbehave but it is "cute" when she does it. My son isn't the only thing we fight about, but it's the biggest thing, and even without my son being "the problem" there would still be issues. I have taken measures to protect my son as best I can, but it is still disappointing and sad that my husband acts this way. The biggest thing to face (for myself and probably your mom) is that breaking up a marriage is a very serious decision and the consequences of that can be worse than what is going on now. Especially since your SD sounds like my DH in his abusive/controlling ways. Many times things can get worse when one spouse tries to leave the abusive spouse. I'm giving you my perspective because it sounds like your mom is doing what she can and taking everything into consideration. Ultimately it is up to your mom to decide if she wants to get away from this guy but for you, you are old enough to get out of that situation and carve out your own existence. It is true that with most people being kind goes a long way. It is also true that someone with abusive values is not going to change easily or even willingly. That is out of your hands. I do think therapy would help you process your feelings and build more resilience in you so that you can mature into a strong, confident person. Try to get out of there and as hard as it may be you might have to consider getting rid of your animals or making arrangements for someone else to take care of them. There is a lot of good advice given to you by several people here. Please look for the common themes in these responses and listen to your gut. There are some books you may like to read: Why does he DO that? by Lundy Bancroft would be a good one, and others on the subject of emotional abuse. This is not meant to vicitmize you or give you reason to feel like a victim, but there is good information which can give you insight and help you gain the inner strength that you are looking for.

No, she doesn't mean the crown. She means when a row of larger leaves grows over a row of smaller leaves. Remember, she is preparing plants for show and you don't want many rows of leaves, just a big plant. She said take them off gradually instead of all at once so you didn't have a trunk. I guess I didn't read the part about eBay sellers; however, I remember Fred Hill who was a judge and showed, posting about how he chose his plants. He would go to a show and choose a plant with show potential. It is about the shape and the leaves mostly too. That was my first experience with "show people" and I had no idea they didn't grow theirs. Of course, I also didn't know that Fred was probably dealing with Parkinson's at the time (it goes on for some years - my FIL had it). I just happened to read the memorial for Reinhold Holtkamp Sr. and I hadn't realized that he had it too - nasty condition. I don''t think a lot of eBay sellers bother grooming at all. They get the same money. You can also see that they were crowded. I have seen perfect little plants but sometimes they brought $50 too. To paraphrase Ralph Robinson, you still have to grow 'em. I have Buckeye Seduction and Buckeye Butterflies. I had BB (there, I regressed to my grandfather's spelling book, I guess with Flutterbye :) before and I think it had nicer variegation than this one. They are both okay. Seduction is bigger. I think it is Icebreaker that is a baby yet. I never know what to pick. Cranberry Sparkler is the big show winner but it's reddish. Maybe some day because it's supposed to be so great. Maybe the Chatter won't be so bad once I try it but the older free one I could just download or read online, I believe. They weren't on FB then. Actually you should have seen the pile of leaves I took off plants tonight :) At least some have buds and will bloom. I decided orange crud on the back of one's leaves was unlikely to be INSV and probably meant it had fertilizer issues along the way. Ah, I think that one's friend isn't blooming quite right. It's also spring so I have to watch it with dumping too much water on everything. Well, I suppose I didn't need all of them. Diana