I agree, we just don't need that. What kind of books do you like, mostly, Norar?

Would probably depend on fiction vs nonfiction. I don’t need to be helped into depression, but for an interesting historical read, sure.

No, with all of the negativity of these covid days, who needs that? I read to escape.

I used to work and later volunteer in my library. I noticed that as people aged they borrowed books that were not upsetting. Although, it seems older ladies love murder mysteries. Go figure. They were more “cozy mysteries” rather than blood and guts type murders. My book club has been requesting books with happy endings!

I agree. Same goes for movie reviews. Who would want to sit and cry, and become depressed over a book.? They say, if something like that , stirs up emotions, it's a good book/movie, etc.

For whatever reason, I've not had to deal with "rough" or depressing times in my life but all the same, as a lifelong reader, books so described have never been of interest to me. I read to learn and for information (non-fiction) and for entertainment (fiction). Not for vicarious escapism or deliberate and gratuitous emotional experiences that are not all that hard for authors to inject. I know some like books and movies like that, I don't. There are plenty of options available, knowing one's own likes and dislikes hopefully helps find the right choices.

In this seemingly doomed world I look for more light and uplifting or just real life things to watch

I dont want to see stories about dead children or doomsday movies. And, political intrigue often just does not seem attractive after watching the world devolve all day. It seems that the norms that we backdrop our drama onto have all become almost meaningless. What was political intrigue two years ago is now so tame and almost a non story when set against the backdrop of the reality of the last four or five years that have shattered every norm of civilization and society and democracy that we thought were ours to hold and defend. There is so much real doom outside the door that I dont' want to see it anymore as entertainment . We have lived through more than that in our real lives these last few years, and it is not over yet.

Who wants more heartbreak, horror or anxiety? I agree.

I do the same thing with Book Bub and Amazon, and "heartbreaking" stops me cold too. Yes, life can be hard enough. I feel that way about scary movies too, as life can be scary enough--especially these days.

I look for trigger words too before choosing to read a book. Another descriptor that I steer away from is "harrowing." Not an image that I want to spend any time with!

If, as a work of fiction, the author chooses to wallow in sad, dark, or bleak situations, no, I don't care for that. But there are non-fictional subjects where heartbreak is an appropriate feeling when faced with the facts, so it all depends upon the book.

Now I'm thinking of the last episode of the comic tv show, Blackadder Goes Forth. The whole Blackadder series was hilarious, except for those last few minutes. It was an appropriate end, even though I cried.

Many years ago I decided to shun gruesome mysteries on principle. (See: Val McDermid, "Wire In The Blood".) Yes, there IS evil in the world, but why welcome it into your life?

I'm not as certain about 'heartbreak'. Not to acknowledge that feels too Pollyanna.

OMG, Nickel, I loved Blackadder! A Welsh friend I worked with in the UK introduced me to that series and loaned me his copies. We drew so many parallels to people and incidents at work it was hilarious.

Yes, I too tend to steer away from true heartbreaking situations, but I will read historical fiction that is fact based. Often it involves a situation that many would consider heartbreaking for sure but the story is compelling.

I love suspense novels best and always have. David Baldacci, john LeCarre, most John Grisham, Lisa Scottoline, Jane Harper. And for feel-good books/beach reads, Fannie Flagg, Dorothea Benton Frank, Mary Kay Andrews.

I feel the same way about movies. Life has enough drama. I want to laugh. But it's good to read a synopsis or see a trailer first. Years ago, I was going through a particularly depressing time and really needed a lift. There was a Bette Midler movie was playing at the local cinema. What could be better to lighten the mood than the divine Ms. M.? Pro tip: If you're depressed, don't go see Beaches.

I ignore those sound bites and just read. Heartbreaking could mean too many things for just the word to stop me from at least starting a book.

I think there's a difference between sad and heartbreaking, with the latter suggesting something that by its nature or by deliberate writing intent is very disturbing. I've read many books with extremely sad accounts, especially books covering wars or periods of conflict. Descriptions of true incidents of inhuman conduct that were difficult to fathom. But to put such a book down and start crying or to become overwhelmed with emotion would, I think, be an overreaction. And that has never been my intent in choosing such books to read.

It's not unlike the difference between a p*rn movie with the graphic visuals being the objective with no underlying story, versus a legitimate movie with a scene or two of people unclothed that fit and are thoughtfully woven into the story development. What's the purpose of the extremism? Is it the objective in and of itself or is it an accompaniment that isn't the sole purpose of the work?

That to me is the difference between a sad book and a contrived and deliberate tear jerker, heartbreaking one. The first type are okay, the second type I don't care for.

It's like the difference between enjoying driving down the road or riding on a roller coaster. If you want the experience of a roller coaster, it's there to choose from. I don't think there's any element of Polyanna-ism involved for story preferences, it's just what one wants from a book. A ride down the highway or a roller coaster ride.

Every Kristin Hannah book I read makes me blubber. The last one I read, The Nightingale, was a difficult read because it dealt with the Nazi occupation of France, and I had to read it slowly. But I didn't cry until the end. I had to stop reading Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King because the killer was going to kill a dog. I don't like to read gory murder mysteries. Right now I'm reading a CJ Box book, which has some murders but they aren't graphically described. As an aside, DH and I watched the netflix mini docuseries about the night stalker, which was very disturbing but well done. My husband has a habit of leaving doors unlocked, and I finally told him enough is enough and he needs to be more careful.

As a teenager in high school, I read most of Thomas Hardy's tragic novels, and I would read one right after another. I suppose some of them could be described as "heartbreaking," but I read them because I identified with his tragic heroines, and this helped me understand myself better. (ETA: Misery likes company.)

I don't read fiction much any more, except for fantasy and science fiction, which is more escapist, I think.

IMO, some people are drawn to sadness and heartbreak in their entertainment choices, others enjoy the thrill of violence and mayhem, but I am not one of them.

I try not to judge those who are, tho. Both of my sisters have always loved things that make them cry, but I never have. I prefer lighthearted comedy, music and fantasy.

When I was in my passionate teens and 20s, I was a lot less sensitive to dark themes, violence, etc., and enjoyed them for the thrill, but I've returned to my aversion to such things with age.

I also check Amazon and/or Goodreads for descriptions and reviews on books I am considering downloading from Bookbub and other online sources. Even those I rent from the library. I don't recall ever noticing the word 'heartbreaking' in a description, so I don't know if I just don't ever check into 'that' kind of book, or if that word just doesn't jump out at me. I know I don't base a decision to read or not to read on one or two words, but on the whole 'blurb'.

Rusty

If by heartbreaking you mean it will make you cry then I'm not reading it.

I don't read books about any form or style of child abuse. Ever.

I just don't want to become innured to evil in the form of 'entertainment'.

Today's BBC America feed has a story about 'slow violence' -- the day-to-day creeping kind like pollution and racism. It's just as deadly, but can slide by, unnoticed, a tsk-tsk/isn't this too bad/shrug sort of *accepted* evil.

My sister (an elementary school teacher) and I noticed, some decades ago, that there was a trend at that time in that the children's books that won awards all seemed to have an element of tragic loss. Books that were just plain enjoyable for children to read seemed out of favor.

I recall that I enjoyed Angela's Ashes without distress, would you call that one "heartbreaking"? But yes, I do avoid books with that description - it isn't what I am after when I pick up a book.

My adult step-daughter once said to me that I should X movie because it was so good it made her cry and cry. I’m not sure what I said to her, but I know I thought “why would I want to do that?”

I’ve also never watched Titanic. How can the death of so many people be considered entertaining?

I can find enough tragedy in the world without looking for it or paying someone to bring it into my living room. Give me fluff!

Heartbreak isn't likely to be the only thing to be gotten out of such a story. I have relatives that "never watch the news" because it's so often "negative" (although they do seem to be able to parrot right wing noise machine talking points like "the last big influenza outbreak killed far more people than COVID" and our governor was an "idiot" because he was trying to institute restrictions on businesses in order to contain the rapidly developing pandemic). With the result that it is always possible for me to bring up current or recent concerns that have been aired, might affect them at some point only to discover they don't know anything about them.

Not books.....but.....my husband pointed out to me that I watch a LOT of dog rescue videos. Very short....and the dog is so HAPPY and cared for at the end...it makes me happy to see such a welcome ending. ♥ I wish for every dog, cat....turtle....to live a happy healthy life!

"What kind of books do you like, mostly, Norar?"

Well written, good story, characters I would like to know, some humor. Some sadness that is important to the story is fine. Just don't try to break my heart!

Authors: Miss Read books, the first several Jan Karon books, Fredrik Backman, Wendell Berry, Louise Penny, Ivan Doig, Mary Oliver, Beverley Nichols, Tana French, Jane Casey, etc.

The Gentleman from Moscow, All the Light We Cannot See, Ordinary Grace, The Cazlett series, Pogo, Calvin and Hobbs, The Cowboy and the Cossack, Miss Bunkle's Book, etc.

I'm not sure my reading has changed as I age, wanting more gentle reads. I've always liked gentle reads, mixed in with a bit of spice ever so often.

So many kids these days are going through difficulties in their own lives, it's no surprise they might be drawn to stories of struggle and pain. I recall listening to a discussion about that with some teachers.

I can understand how a lighthearted story of fun and sweetness might be unrelatable to someone who has suffered a lot.

I don't let 'heartbreaking' stop me. Many of the books I love have a heartbreaking aspect. I just went on a rave about This Tender Land on the reading thread, which I'm sure could be (and probably has been) described as heartbreaking. The author writes extensively about the way Native American children were taken from their families and sent to "Indian re-education boarding schools" where they were terribly mistreated and abused; the way Native Americans were slaughtered and their lands stolen, while they were forced onto reservation. All of that IS heartbreaking to me. But the story was about survival and grit and love, culture and family that was so uplifting it didn't make it all heartbreaking. And I learned a great deal. Much of history is made of heartbreaking situations. I've read extensively about the Holocaust and nothing could be more heartbreaking than that, but it's important to know and learn.

One of my favorite memoirs was A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. "It chronicles his stewardship of his younger brother Christopher "Toph" Eggers following the cancer-related deaths of his parents." (copied from wikipedia).

A brilliant book and story. Certainly a heartbreaking situation (as the title states), but again, you don't come away with a broken heart.

The word heartbreaking is subjective so my answer is it would not lead me to read or not read a book.

no

Probably the main reason I discarded any book from the Oprah book club. Everything was so depressing. I have no need to drag myself down in the dumps. I have some books (nonfiction) on my nightstand and the rest are just for enjoyment, joy being the relevant part!

Nope. I do not like sad or violent or scary books, songs or movies. Nope nope nope.

There is plenty of that in real life to deal with. I would not choose to immerse myself in more.

nothing could be more heartbreaking than that, but it's important to know and learn

This^^

If you have your head in the sand the rest of you is still exposed and you can't see what's coming.

A book described as 'heartbreaking' gets a hard pass from me.

It takes a lot to get me crying over a book or a movie, and my triggers aren’t necessarily triggers for other people.

We went to see a comedy movie which was hilarious, and more so for us country folks than the city people who made up the rest of the audience. But the premise which started off the story line was that a highly contagious sheep disease had been detected in prize ram in a small country valley where they bred a unique breed of sheep, and all the sheep in the valley were being taken away for slaughter by Agriculture Department trucks. One of the top breeders (Sam Neill) was determined that if his sheep had to die, they would die at home and not under stress with strangers, so he set about doing the deed himself, sobbing as he did it. I found it quite harrowing, because I knew that these were not just sheep, they were the result of his whole life’s work and the continuation of his father’s and grandfather’s work, which would be wiped out in one fell swoop and could never be replaced. But the city people sitting a few seats down clearly couldn’t understand why a grown man would be crying over sheep and thought it quite funny.

It quickly got better, as it turned out he was hiding the best few in the spare bedroom and the farcical antics he had to go through to keep them fed but hidden 😁

Without cheating by looking them up, I’m betting the truly historical literary fiction or non- Fiction we’re not touted as “heartbreaking“. Having stuck my neck out, I’m now going to look up All Quiet on the Western Front, Night ( Ellie Wiesel) , Beloved ( Toni Morrison) are three that immediately come to mind. More neck sticking: and if they do, and are ( and they are) I’m better for having suffered through them.

But silly sob worthy are not for me. And cannot bring myself to read of child or animal abuse.

No!

You're supposed to feel *something* when you read a book or see a play or film, right? Maybe we're objecting to gratuitous 'whatever', including 'heartbreaking'.

Raee -- Interesting thought about children's books with all that darkness, and many classics were intended as *cautionary* tales. (Grimm's fairy tales illustrate that.) I found the same cautionary theme directed at young adults in the movie "Songcatcher". Aren't heartbreak and ruin still major themes in Country music?

Achy Breaky Heart

"You're supposed to feel *something* when you read a book or see a play or film, right?"

Not always, I don't think so. There are people who have emotional reactions to everything they encounter in their lives, some who have few, and some who are in-between.

Moderation in everything. Including moderation.

I have read All Quiet on the Western Front within the last couple of years. It is a tremendous book. But it isn't what I call 'heartbreaking'.

'Heartbreaking' (to me) is more like when something is deliberately emotionally charged, contrived, when your emotions are being toyed with. Like, reaching way, way back, the popular Love Story. (Erich Seagal). This type of book earns the hard pass from me.

All Quiet made me sad at times, angry at times and even laugh at times. It is a book to be experienced.

I did not care for Beloved. But I typically feel neutral to negative about most anything that can be tagged *women's lit*. Not my bag.