I totally get what jewelisfabulous means about guys on the street ordering women to smile. It's a variation on construction workers making rude comments to passing women. A friend of mine used to say, " What am I, the mayor? I'm supposed to walk down the block greeting everyone?" And the problem with this particular brand of jerk is that if you don't smile, they call you names. And if you do smile, they take it as an invitation. Sometimes, you know, a woman just wants to walk down the street in peace, with her own thoughts. So yes, a mask can come in handy. It's like wearing a long coat over a miniskirt. On the other hand, who is still out on the street?

No scientific evidence, but I'm betting my face is a lot more moisturized because of mask wearing, and I haven't had any issue with chapped lips this winter.

CDC is reporting unusually low flu cases this year...I guess all our covid protections are minimizing the flu spread too.

I know for some it has been a time to organize their homes and lives but I have not accomplished one thing. It really has meant many days lonely with no motivation. I often fight depression so for me there has not been one good thing. I am actually considering getting another cat since mine died several months ago. She was a lot of company.

My grandkids are thriving with their distance learning. It's forcing their teachers to be more creative with assignments to keep them engaged and the kids start thinking creatively and outside the box also. More focus on really learning and less focus on teaching to test is a wonderful thing.

-No commute for me!

-Increased time spent with pet

-Learning plenty of new communications technologies

My 7 yo grandson FaceTimes me every other day! His Mom and Dad cut him back from every day. But I know it helps keep him busy, so I enjoy it. He will take me on tours of his bedroom, I can watch him build Legos or we play bingo. I bought them some cards, chips and bingo calling cards.

On a positive note, I am POSITIVELY not planning on getting COVID!

Among my friends and family are teachers from the kindergarten level through to and including university professors and they would disagree with you that distance learning is a plus. Social interaction and dealing with others, individually and in groups, is an essential part of a child's "education" and that doesn't happen much with distance learning. None of the classroom careerists I know want to return to in-person sessions until it's safe for everyone, teachers and pupils, to do so.

"Teaching to test" is a red herring term to me. Testing is important to measure students and teachers and to hold both accountable. The opposite is often alleged to be "testing what was taught" and I think these are both terms without meaningful difference. The so called "Common Core" curricula were intended to standardize teaching content and approaches.

Most industrialized foreign countries have better below college education results than the US has and most have systems of standard curricula and testing.

I am coloring every day with a friend, and we take pictures of what we color and share with each other.. Also have others that join in at times with the adult coloring. Of course I have colored all my life, but the adult books are so nice.

Sue

Satine - I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I can relate. I hope you get another cat to love.

seagrass

Plentiful and free parking at the hospital / medical office building. Feeling less resentful of time checking on my mother since there is nothing else to do. Continuing to avoid all the projects I meant to do before SAH.

Satine, hugs.,It’s a lonely time.

Satine there's probably a cat in a shelter feeling just like you do. Maybe you could help each other

I'm going to remember this as the year that time stood still. Aside from all the bad things this year, it was also a time of reflection and much extra time given. No more running out of the house for this and that.I've quit the gym for now and walk and sometimes incorporate swimming with my walks. I put a nature app on my phone and snap pictures of plants and animals on my walks to identify them and learn about them. and have chatted with quite a few people in the neighborhood I wouldn't have otherwise. Both of my daughters were furloughed from Disney (Disney has been quite generous with them), so my oldest would spend a few nights a week here.we stayed up real late watching trash TV like teenagers. My younger daughter has fostered several cats this year. More time for cleaning and organizing. More time to try new recipes. The sky looks bluer to me-less traffic and much less planes going by.

One of the good things about a mask that no one ever mentions is that no one can see your wrinkles!

ole joyful

Satine, I have done little or nothing too even though I'm more or less housebound. Go to your local shelter and get yourself a cat. I don't know what I'd do without my three.

The air was cleaner around the world. For a while.

In all honesty, nothing has changed for us. I still work in a store 5 days a week and we never went anywhere anyway so nothing has changed there either. Oh! Wait!!! Loblaws (the parent company who owns my stores chain) decided that they need MORE profits because their record profits this year: you know, because in the beginning everything shut down and people panic shopped and we ran our buts off for everyone as essential workers.... that they CUT OUR HOURS. I now work 32 hours a week instead of 40 and make the exact equivalent as a full time minimum wage employee after working in this one store 11 1/2 years. Our CEO makes over 6 million a year.... I guess he needs the hours more than I do. Oh, that $2 an hour "hero pay"? Yeah, well consider it returned with those hour cuts. Hero pay my..........

lots of extra money!

you don't have to wear pants going to a zoom meeting

Laughing at videos of people who thought they could get away with wearing no pants for their zoom meetings. (Or worse!)

Raye -- No, I actually mean random men DO demand young women to smile. Check out the TwoXChromosomes forum on www.reddit.com. The misogyny women experience on the daily is awful and pervasive. Although I'm no longer young, I had this happen to me a couple summers ago when making a purchase at Lowes. The cashier (a man about 10 years older than me) interrupted the sale to say, "Let's see that smile!" It was irritating as hell.

Must be a regional thing because I've never ever had or heard of someone saying anything like. Why didn't you tell the man that that was a very odd thing to say to a stranger much less an adult?

I could understand a parent telling their child they were trying to cheer up to smile or a professional photographer taking photos or a dentist checking tooth alignment. Those are the few times that it would be appropriate to ask another person to smile.

Not regional because I have had the same comments all my life even when I am smiling from various areas in this country. People seem to think that only by showing the teeth is it a smile.

I have come to realize that my life other than I have to make my own food, do laundry, and clean has become not much different that what will happen if I must go to a nursing home sometime in the future. It has reduced the stress of going to one. I will dislike getting up around 5am to go to the dining room for boring food.

Raye -- I didn't actually reveal how I replied to the man demanding that I smile. Let's just say that he was taken aback by my response. In any event, it's definitely not a regional thing based on the posts I've been reading.

Maifleur -- When you check in, tell them that early morning breakfast in the dining room ain't happening and that they need to bring a tray to your room around 9:00am! :)

I can interpret the situation slightly differently but I agree, an adult male out of context telling a woman to smile might be creepy. Or might not be, read on.

Maybe occasionally someone might suggest another person should smile if they appear grumpy or detached (from as between people of the same gender, or from one gender to another, no one direction predominates). But in a broader sense, it can be hard when talking to someone with a mask on to assess their feelings and reactions when the mouth is covered. It's a sign we've long been accustomed to looking for. Sometimes when people smile they also squint their eyes but otherwise it can be awkward to have an exchange with someone, even when properly distanced, and be unable to read facial clues. Maybe that's what she had in mind too?

Was taught long ago to look at a person's eyes rather than at their mouth to see what they are feeling. People can smile with their mouth but if it is not in their eyes it is meaningless.

I only wish nursing homes did breakfast in bed on demand. Here they place a harness under you that connects to a machine that will raise you out of that bed and place you in a wheelchair. No options about moving that chair to the dining room. You do not have to eat but you had better move that food around on the plate.

Elmer -- It's better overall for men not to tell any woman to smile in any social circumstance. She'll smile if she feels like it. If she doesn't feel like it, being told to smile by a man smacks of misogyny. If you think about it, women don't make this demand of men. In any event, mask wearing has helped women tremendously in this regard.

It's happened to me the other way around, a woman saying: "Having a bad day? Why not smile?"

To which my response as I recall was been some form of "No, sorry, I wasn't paying attention and was thinking of something else". And then smiling. It's hardly an off-putting thing to hear unless one is overly sensitive or, as I suggested before, the circumstance is creepy.

Should I consider a woman saying that to me as misandry?

Elmer -- Yes, that woman shouldn't have told you to smile. As far as one being overly sensitive, you have to understand that many women get the demand to smile from men frequently along with all other kind of comments/demands about their clothes, make-up, hair color, sexuality, and general appearance in addition to intrusive questions from random men about where they're going, where they live, if they're alone or have a boyfriend, and what their phone number is. Then, if they don't answer "right", they're called a b*tch or a c*nt, are followed, or are threatened with rape. No, I'm not exaggerating.

If you were on the receiving end of these constant comments and threats, it wouldn't take much to set you off either. Do visit the TwoXChromosomes forum on www.reddit.com It'll be quite an education.

There are far too many people looking to be offended by everything these days. The intent behind words needs to be considered. Comments intended to be friendly or even lightly flirtatious are just that, nothing more. Too be constantly offended, or thinking of oneself as a potential victim or target all the time must be very tiring whether one is a man or a woman.

No options about moving that chair to the dining room.

Moving around, getting up out of bed, has a lot of physical and psychological benefits. I do agree it would be nice if maybe a nursing home resident could sleep in once a week.

I think that asking anyone to smile is the same as asking them to disguise or hide their real feelings, which obviously are unimportant to the person asking. That's how I feel when someone tells me to smile, but I've never noticed any particular gender bias in it - men also tell other men to smile, and so they are not just telling it to women, and if a man tells it to men as well as to women, then how is that misogyny?

I've had as many women tell me to smile as men, and I have also encountered a fair share of insensitive women, especially at work. I've been told at work by women that men are not supposed to express their emotions.

As long as women expect men to be tough and not express emotions, then those women are an equal part of the problem. I am all for gender equality, and I think women should treat men the same way they treat other women and vice-versa. Unfortunately, this has not be my experience. We are a long way from gender-blindness. Women often expect special treatment from men that they do not expect from other women, which is the definition of a double standard. I think that these gender expectations are especially harmful to men.

Then there are women who use their gender to manipulate men, but I blame men if they fall for this tactic. Some men like to hire attractive secretaries for eye-candy, whether they are qualified or not, and this can cause a lot of resentment from other female workers. My sister noticed this in her law office in Austin, and she eventually changed firms.

I do believe that there are variations in gender equality from region to region, and most certainly from country to country. There is no reason to believe that people are the same everywhere. You will see a lot more gender equality in places like San Francisco and Palm Springs than many other cities. And in many countries, women's lower status is part of the country's culture/religion.

I find myself facing an infrequent instance when I agree completely with wildchild. That's good! I hope it happens more often.

jewell, light-hearted, innocent banter coming from non-threatening people, even if it seems to be rude or leaning in the direction of unwelcomingly lightly flirtatious, shouldn't be given a second thought. If you don't like it, ignore it. If you're talking about verbal harassment from low life, well, I think that has no gender component. That's to be expected from, pardon me, abusive/impolite low life, indigents, homeless types or others who may be suffering from drug use, abuse, mental health problems, or all of the above. I can't tell you how many times I've heard threatening comments when encountering such people out in public, including aggressive panhandlers. It's their problem, not mine. Have the same attitude and ignore it. Good luck, be happy, and smile! ;-)

Back to regular programing.....if it weren't for the Covid shutdowns of schools, my grandson may have missed an entire year of school when he was diagnosed with cancer in June. However, since the schools got "up and running", he's been able to keep up and will complete his classes along with his classmates. That is HUGE in my gratitude scale!!

Virtually all of us have been negatively touched by covid in many ways, from loss of jobs/hours, our own illness or illness/death of others, inability to live our lives normally, fear, uncertainty, the list goes on. We have been talking about those constantly for close to a year, along with the rest of the world. This thread was about small rays of light that we see sneaking through the clouds. It was great while it lasted. Thanks, Jasdip!

Oh my, it remains a happy thread. You may need to smile now too, bucky.

I‘m foas, Bucky is my dog. 😀

Can you tell by his eyes if he’s smiling?

"If you don't like it, ignore it."

Spoken by someone who hasn't been harassed on the daily. If you are a male, like your screen name indicates, it would be awesome if you would lend your voice to defeating the types of behaviors I outlined in my last post. You'll need a better understanding of how frequently it occurs to women, how much the "smile" and other behaviors appear like a power move, how unsafe it makes them feel, and how the statement I copied above from your last post just side-steps the issue. Towards this end, I hope you'll take advantage of my invitation to educate yourself more by visiting the site I suggested often.

To get back on track. During the earlier days more people seemed stressed and all in for themselves when shopping. Later when masks mandated there were too many who stopped social distancing. Presently I see people doing what they can with masking and social distancing but also being more friendly and courteous. I think people reach out to each other more and I see that as a positive thing. I do think a little more sharing and caring has returned. Not in a virtue signaling way, but in a real let's pull together way.

When you're on the receiving end, it's easy to tell the difference between a genuine caring or lighthearted remark, and a creepy come-on or a power move. Trust me.

No one should have to put up with that nonsense. I'm glad we're all in agreement there.

Having been one of those young women asked to smile a lot, it is very annoying. Then there was the time at a Van Halen concert when some jerk actually reached over, grabbed my hands making me clap them together. He was a scrawny punk kid and I could have punched his lights out but back then I was extremely shy teenager and non- confrontational. All I did was pull my hands away and give him a dirty look. He never bothered me after that but I was po'd.

jewell, where is it you have to go and who do you spend time with that result in your being harassed regularly or even daily?

Please don't assume anything about me or my views about women. I understand my words were brief and perhaps misleading for those who don't know me but what you've assumed is far off the mark.

Elmer -- I no longer get harassed regularly or even daily, as I'm no longer young and pretty. However, if you follow the link I provided, you can read all kinds of examples of women getting harassed while just trying to live their lives.

Very true. Back in the day, one couldn’t go past a construction site without hearing whistles or comments.

Wow, did this thread get derailed! I thought of another positive regarding covid. We picked up around 2" of snow overnight and since I have no need to drive anywhere I will skip shoveling the driveway and let the warmer weather and rain forecast for the next few days melt it off for me. It should be gone by Sunday.

Very true. Back in the day, one couldn’t go past a construction site without hearing whistles or comments.

True funny story:

I worked for a summer with a construction crew when I was younger. When I first went to apply, I passed them on the way to the office. And they were hunks. Not one whistle directed my way.

Not that one WANTS that sort of attention but when it has happened for years and then suddenly stops, one wonders.

It turned out that it was a gay business, and the construction workers were all gay.

Is it too awful to notice that there hasn’t been any school shootings? wouldn't it be wonderful if this could continue when schools resume!

no flu deaths being reported ... it is a miracle

Our senior citizens are being noticed and hopefully their state of living will improve.

Nyuk, I see that my post was removed, and it was by far the most positive result.