A phone conversation with my dear mother

HU-753479426

At 2 months shy of 89, she has decided she wants the company of another Dachshund. She lives in her own house, still drives to get groceries and go to medical appointments and before Covid had a very active social life. My parents bred Dachsunds and she lost her last one about the same time her 2nd husband died (5 years ago or so)...

"I've made a decision. I'm going to do something, even if it's wrong. Art (my brother) is going with me tomorrow and I'm going to buy a 12 week puppy."

"OK, Mom, you know that's a lot to take on, right?"

"I really, really want another dog."

"Ok, well make sure you take masks with you."

"I have the address programmed into my GPS."

"But Mom, you'll need masks."

"I have a big atlas of Ohio maps in my car but we won't need them."

"MOM! You have to wear masks on your faces when you pick up the puppy."

"Yes, I know dear..."

seagrass

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Comments (29)
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Fun2BHere

As long as someone is prepared to take the dog if it outlives your mother, I'd be so happy that your mother is this excited and happy about life. At least your brother, who I assume is responsible, will be there to make sure everything goes smoothly and that your mother isn't distracted by the puppy while driving.

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Elizabeth

Dachshund puppies are a handful. It's lot to put up with even for a young person. I hope this works out well for her, it sounds like she knows about the temperament of the breed. They are sweet, funny, lively little dogs. I am a big fan.

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HU-753479426

I've been trying to talk her out of it for years. She has a friend who does Doxie rescue, so she has someone who could take the dog temporarily or forever. I live in Massachusetts so I can't help her with the dog ownership. She's just incredibly lonely. I don't think she would be doing this now except for the isolation because of Covid. She can't even go to church, lunch with her friends, play in her card group, see her great granddaughter.

So I understand her taking the risk of a new dog and I don't begrudge her the joy and comfort but I worry about her slipping and sliding and breaking a hip on her icy city sidewalk with a determined hunting dog at the end of his leash.

seagrass

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Fun2BHere

If your mother is well and active, training a new puppy will fill her hours and give her a reason to get up in the morning. It probably won't seem as burdensome to her as it does to you because you have other activities that take up your time and energy.

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socks

Wonderful. Good for her, she needs this. Your mother knows what she’s in for. Post a pic of the pup when you can.

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pudgeder

I'm sure she'll be so delighted!


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Zalco/bring back Sophie!

I am happy for your mother and the new Doxie in her life. I know there are a ton of downsides, but living safely without any quality of life is not living much at all.

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eld6161

So sweet. But why not consider an older Doxie rescue?

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maifleur03

While not something I would normally suggest but talk to your brother about asking the breeder if they have an older doxie that is ending it's breeding life. Be aware that like a puppy it may not be house broken but could be less active.

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wildchild2x2

Good for her for making her decision to get her dog at long last. It's a win-win for both her and the dog. Agree with Zalco quality of life matters over fears of what could happen.

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chisue

I wonder if she would have considered selling one of the dogs she bred to someone in her circumstances.


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nickel_kg

A puppy! So delightful but require so much attention. Best of luck to your mother!

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caflowerluver

I missed our Dachshund so much after she passed that after 1 1/2 years I knew I had to get another one. There is just something about Dachshunds that keep you coming back for more. I knew at 69 I didn't have the energy for a puppy. So we adopted an older 8 YO Dachshund mix from a rescue group. Perfect energy level for my DH and me and already trained (mostly).

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lily316

As someone who rescued a full-bred dachshund 13 years ago, I'd suggest an older rescue. I have heard horror stories of potty training puppies but mine came with none of these issues. Never peed or pooped in the house. They are quirky little dogs but I can see why your mother wants one. They do have a long life span but if there is a backup plan, I think it's fine. It will bring joy to her life. I always said I will always have at least two cats. I always wanted my mother to get a pet since she spent 24 years as a widow.

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Ded Tired

Your mom sounds great. I hope she enjoys her new baby. shes already raised dachshunds so she knows what she’s getting into. Just because she doesn’t hear well doesn’t mean she can’t make decisions.

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C Marlin

It may be difficult now to get an older dog, because of COVID people have been adopting all the older rescues. My DIL's father had a difficult time finding an adult small dog. He is alone and "needed" another dog.

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bpath

I’m too caught up in the masks/map thing.

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HU-753479426

My mother raised 6 children and survived 2 very difficult husbands. She is a smart and very determined lady. At this point in her life, if a new dog gives her joy that's ok with me. I just hope she doesn't take on more than she can chew.

seagrass

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foodonastump

“I wonder if she would have considered selling one of the dogs she bred to someone in her circumstances.”


My in-laws had a hard time getting a dog in their mid sixties. None of the local shelters would let them adopt due to their age. They had to go to a breeder for the for the first time.

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Suzieque

I'm very happy for her (and I'm still chucking about the masks/map thing). But please please please, make sure that there are plans for the dog at the unfortunate time that she can no longer take care of it. I volunteer at shelters and they are full of animals whose owners can't care for them any more due to going to a nursing facility, illness, age, or death. I find it so troubling that no one from those families can't find it in themselves to care for the animal that their relative loved so dearly, and so put it in a shelter. ALL: please make advance plans.

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terilyn

This is why we have arrangements in our wills for our pets. I can’t imagine them ending up in a shelter. I also can’t imagine not having a pet. I hope your mother has many years of enjoyment with her new puppy!

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maifleur03

As I have stated before make arrangements for that time before the wills are even looked at. Too many pets of older people end up in shelters because the information was in the will and no one knew about it. Here if someone surrenders a pet to the shelters they can not receive it back. However most of the government shelters have made it harder since the person releasing the animal must prove they live in that city/county so out of town relatives would not be able to place them there.

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lisaam

It always makes me sad when an older person feels that they can't have another dog. I let both my own mother and mil know that I'd gladly assume care of a dog for them. Dogs help lots of people keep going, get them outside, give them someone to talk to.

Having "a hard time adopting a dog in the mid 60's" is discouraging. I'm not quite that age but feel I have several dogs in my future.

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lily316

Let's just say I'm older than my mid 60's but I didn't have a problem adopting two young cats at the Humane Society a year ago. But I did tell them my daughter would take them if anything happened to us. But I doubt I'll get another dog when these two old ones die because I have no one who would take them.

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Lukki Irish

Seagrass, your description of your mother reminds me of my own. She was fierce, raised 5 girls, outlived 2 husbands and was also very independent. I’m sure that puppy is going to bring your Mom a lot of joy. We tried to talk my Mom into getting one but could never make it happen.

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eandhl2

I agree with poster above that suggested asking the breeder about a retired dog. We always bought puppies but our last dog was a 6 yr old retired one.

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wednesday morning

One big orange thing in the room is that you or your brother may very well end up with the dog.

As life's circumstances can change so quickly in old age, there is a distinct possibility that it would limit her choices as to her near future. Nursing homes don't accept pets.

It is highly unlikely that she will outlive the dog.

Is it fair to the dog, or to you or your brother? It is understandable, but there are serious possible consequences.

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Yayagal

I love what you are doing plus your Mom will be on cloud nine. Good for you.

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jupidupi

I don't know how it is with dogs, but cat breeders have "retirees" who are too old to breed (if it's a reputable breeder) that they like to place in good homes for a much smaller fee than kittens. When my 20 year old Cornish Rex died, I adopted an 8 year old retiree. I used to joke that I paid $100 for a used cat. The great thing about an adult pet is that their personality and habits are already known and they are much calmer than a baby. BTW, my retiree cat lived to be 19.

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