I have three daughters. Oldest is 46 and she has two daughters who are 17 and 20; middle daughter is 43 and has 5 children ranging from 11 down to 18 months. Her oldest and youngest are girls with the other 3 are boys. My youngest is 30 and has a son who she placed for adoption at birth and who is now 7 and a daughter who just turned 1. The adoption was open and we are in contact with the family who adopted him.

We have 3 children. Our son and daughter are 13 months apart! 50 and 51 now. It was like having twins, We had two of everything. Double diapers (cloth! ... washing , drying and folding, everyday, no disposables then) Then,,,Surprise!! 15 years later...We had a little gift given to us.....another son. I was a week away from turning 40yrs old.. everyone said--"oh, it will keep you young" What!? It kept me exhausted. But he was/is a joy. He's 35 with a son of his own. Daughter has 2 girls. I feel blessed, as we did want children. It is a scary thing to know, that you are responsible for another human being.

Foggy,

Those are Irish twins

We have 2 a boy and girl. DD is 34 and DS 33. Son still lives with us and pays rent, Love having him here not a problem at all. Daughter is out of the house, owns her own home and is a delight. Neither are married or in a long term relationship. We would love grandkids if it is in the cards. We do have 2 wonderful grandpuppies though. I love that they still like to see us and visit often.

We have two daughters, 31 and 33. Oldest is now engaged after living together for 8 years! She kept telling us she did not want to get married.

DH wasn’t interested in getting married or having children. When we became a serious couple, I told him that I wanted a commitment by the time I turned 30.

If he didn’t want to get married at that time, we would go our separate ways.

He proposed 4 months before the”deadline.”

In this deal was at least one child. When oldest was almost two he said, “well, we are in it this deep, time for a second!”

I admire women who were not pressured and stay with their convictions.

It’s such a personal choice, and really no one else’s business.

I have 4 children. Oldest son is 48, he married just a couple yrs ago. They won't have any children. Next son is 43, a bachelor who lives with me. He has a good job and he takes care of a lot of things for me now that his dad is gone. Next is my daughter who is 42. She married 7 yrs ago, lives nearby and has a little boy 2 yrs old. And next is my youngest son who is 33. He lives 200 miles away, is married and has 2 children, a boy age 5 and a girl 1 yr old.

I have 3. 2 boys who aren’t married and 1 daughter who has made me a nonna twice. I had my tubes tied after my second son was born when I was 21. Two years later I had my daughter, I always say she was my gift from God. Six months after she was born, I had another tubal.

I am surprised at the number of women herewho said they didn't want kids. I totally get it and I think more and more will in the future. I have a son I had in my early 20's who's married and has a daughter. My daughter was born almost four years after him and has a son. Each of my kids has only children and I as an only child vowed I'd never have just one. If I would have been assured I'd have another daughter I would have. Both kids live nearby and grandson now lives at home after graduating from college. Granddaughter graduated from a university in western PA and never came home. She's married with a brand new house.

No kids for me either. I never wanted children and have 0 regrets. I never had that "clock ticking" thing happen. It did affect a few relationships when I was younger. Having children wasn't negotiable for me when I didn't want any. I couldn't have children for someone else when I didn't want any. I do like children though. I always thought when I retired it would be fun to read to preschool or kindergarteners. And I've been told I'm a fun babysitter, lol.

And sorry to those who wanted children but never did. That must be hard.

One son here, 23 and living at home - he finishes college in the spring.

We have a 41 year old daughter. She gave us a wonderful SIL 12 years ago and our DGS 3 years ago. We live next door (actually a duplex with interior connections) and that’s worked out marvelously especially in the time of COVID because we have a ready made bubble and we can help with the little one. He goes to preschool and DD works mostly from home these days, but when school is out and she needs to go to the office, we’re here to help.

Hubs and I have a son and a daughter. Two grands , a boy and a girl. We are 82 married 61 years. Daughter 47, son 50. Daughter and her hubs have the two grands, one is 12 and other is 11. Our kids are both doctors, have made us very proud. Growing up as a farm girl, I never realized where life would take me. We have many blessings.

I have one son who is 26, two daughters who are 24 and 22. None are married or have kids yet.

HamiltonGardener, they're only Irish twins if they're less than 12 months apart.

I have a son & a daughter.

They're not quite 4 years apart. (not intentionally, just happened that way)

DS is married, has 2 children, st-daughter, (our bonus grandchild) 13, and a son, 9. As far as he (and we) is/are concerned, his st-daughter is HIS daughter.

DD is also married, and has an almost 2 year old son.

Love them all so much!

Four sons between the ages of 17 and 21. I am looking forward to having daughters in law one day :-)

Michele, I had my first at 30. I knew I wanted children, but I had zero idea of how much until the first one came. It was a huge surprise to this only child who grew up thinking her career was her top priority. Ha!

1 daughter- two granddaughters 6&7 and one step granddaughter 10. DD got rid of hubby, but we kept step grandaughter as part of the family.

1 son- two granddaughters 10 months & 5. The 10 month old was a challenge for my son and DIL to conceive, but with the help of a fertility specialist here she is.

They all live local and I can't wait until Friday when we are all together except for the step granddaughter and the house is filled with giggles and laughter.

Funny, in my family there were 2 boys, I girl (husband's had 3 boys, 1 girl)

Our family there were 2 boys, 1 girl

Our grandchildren are....2 boys, 1 girl (First boy had boy & girl)

(Girl had boy)

( 2nd boy has none)

.

I could have written what Jasdip said leaving off the tubes tied part. My whole life, the idea of having kids repulsed me and I'm not a big fan of children or being around kids. Not sure why, can't help but think it was some inner voice telling me what I needed to do. I cannot imagine if I would have had kids with my first husband, I don't feel like he was the parent type of person either, always just wanted to party and dreamed of being some rock star. HAHAHA! My second husband never had kids either and both of us are very happy that we have no kids!

I have one son, age 45, who has a daughter, 14, and a son, 9. I wish they lived a little closer but am very glad they don't live any farther away.

We have a Daughter 38 (step daughter) and husband with our two grandchildren in VA

Son #1 32 is married and gay. He started his own organic farm outside of Tallahassee FL

Son #2 29 is single and has a serious girlfriend. His is a financial advisor with ML in SWFL.

They are all about as different as can be! The older 2 are very serious about Covid and we haven't seen them. Younger one lives in our neighborhood, so we see him almost every day!

Life is funny. My sister, is ten years older than I am. She and her husband are retired now from great jobs. They are wealthy. They tried for many years to have kids. It was heartbreaking, but then they adopted. My nephew is now 32. He lives alone and doesn’t seem in any rush to be in a relationship.

I accompanied my sister and brother-in-law, along with my brother to Kennedy airport the day he came. He was 4 months old. It was Halloween. He is born on June 30. They lived down in Moorestown, NJ at the time. They stayed over at my mom’s that night. When she brought him in and unbundled him, he stared back at the five of us and smiled. 💕

My sister is the one that dreamed and longed for marriage and children. (She would buy a cute baby thing when she was a teenager)

I sometimes felt guilty. I wouldn’t talk about my kids that much to her. I feel to this day, (except when the bills come, haha) that I’m the fortunate one. She never holds back though in describing all the purchases and travel etc (pre C19 of course) :/

I have two sons, 30 and 33. I really wanted a 3rd child - a daughter. I was angry at my husband at the time when he decided we were done having children. I understood his reasoning. My 2nd pregnancy had many problems and I would have needed surgery before getting pregnant again. Also, he came from a large family and had a poor upbringing both economically and in parenting. He felt he could do right as a parent with two.

I always hoped to have a granddaughter someday who didn’t live too far away.

That “hope” just turned 13 months old! She lives close enough that it’s almost be careful what you wish for. LOL We pick her up 3 days a week from daycare and usually have her for a few hours on the weekends because of her parents’ work hours. But she’s a real sugar plum (usually).

Her father is my younger son. He’s not married. The older son just celebrated his first wedding anniversary. I’m not sure if they will ever have kids. I just hope that if they don’t, that it’s something they both agree on. I don’t ask or say anything as it’s not my business. Because of Covid they have only seen their niece when she was born and last Christmas. So she can’t influence them one way or another!

i have one son. he and my d-i-l are both in their mid 40s, married 10 years. they tried for many years but were unable to have children. another couple of years dealing with a lot of disappointment in the adoption process until november, 2016, when they were gifted with a newborn baby boy, via private adoption..

it's a long story but with such a happy ending. my d-i-l and i traveled to guam to bring baby gabriel home. nothing like spending 6 weeks in a hotel together to bond with your d-i-l! lol

gabe turned 4 in november and he is the light of my life. i never would have believed i could love another human as much as i love my son!!

i applaud those who choose to not have children. it's such a personal decision and it saddens me that so many times, it's considered "abnormal" to not want to procreate. i wish people would mind their own business!

me with my little rock star during a wardrobe malfunction. my son snapped this picture at the perfect time! lol

I, also, could have written Jasdip's post. I had my tubes tied when I was 22. I had a heck of a time convincing my doctor to perform the procedure. I had to undergo a psychiatric evaluation, he called my mother and tried to get her to get me to change my mind. I signed a form saying I would not sue him if I changed my mind later. I sent him a simple card when I turned 40 "no regrets".

I have four kids.

A daughter 42 who has a 13 yo girl, an 11 yo girl and a 1 yo boy.

A daughter 39 who has an 11 yo girl, a 5 yo girl and a 4 yo boy.

A son 37 who has an 8 yo girl and a 5 yo son.

A daughter 32 who has a 13 yo step son an 11 yo step daughter, and a 5 month old son.

Getting married, having children, who you’re supposed to love and religious beliefs (or to choose not to have any) are too personal and important. Letting people influence decision making in these things (if it goes against your own feelings) just leads to misery. I feel that chiming in on other people’s choices is an unloving thing to do.

One miracle baby. My first pregnancy ended in a rare disorder, called a molar pregnancy. Then my miracle baby! And then several miscarriages. Consequently, I would guess they shouldn't have survived either. My child knows they are four children all rolled into one! All the energy, intellect, pain in the rearness, fun... It's been an amazing run. All growed up at 21, so all I can do is set them free and wait for the returning grandchildren.

ETA: I'm not being vague. My child is non-binary (gender fluid). I feel it necessary to clarify. I don't know why. I guess because everyone is saying son/daughter. I have both :)

We have a daughter and two sons, three grands and one great grand.

My husband and I have 3 lovely daughters who have grown to be accomplished mothers and professionals. They are close in age at 47, 45, 44. We were young parents- graduated college, married, had kids. Lucky us have two daughters living close by and one living 4-5 hours away. Our family has grown to include 7 grandchildren - 4 boys and 3 girls. These kids are close and love each other and have so much fun together which makes me so proud. I have one set of twin granddaughters which is an amazing experience. The grandkids range in age from 18 down to 8 years old. The three in the middle which includes the twins were born 6 weeks apart.

Five sons, three of whom are 'steps'.

Ten 'Grands'.

Eight 'Great-Grands'

Five 'Great-Great-Grands'

I personally don't distinguish between 'steps' and my own blood, but all the 'steps' live far enough away that I've never met the Great Great Grands. And the only contact I have with the 'Steps' and their families is through Facebook. So I am very VERY thankful for Facebook!

Rusty

Sometimes it's better to phrase this question, "How many children have you had?"

Satine -- I'm pleased that your DD was able to place her son in an open adoption. I would have preferred that when we adopted our DS, but no one would listen. It was a relief to me and to our DS's birthmom when I found her. I was able to let go of the feeling that I had unfairly profited from her loss. She was better able to move on in her life knowing he had the good life she wanted for him, despite the cost to her.

Even my DH was adamant that we be our DS's *only* parents. He only understood my thinking after he learned that *he* had been adopted.

Zero. I've always felt kinda in a class all by myself in this regard but I see there are quite a few of us who decided not to have children. My fur baby is my baby.

rob333, you're fine and I always enjoy hearing about your kid.

rob333, that must be interesting. You seem like the sort of parent a person could be 100% honest with ... it takes courage to be different as well as to accept differences.

I have one daughter, and one grand-dog so far. I'll be astonished if she stops at one pup, but if she decides to have a child (or adopt) is entirely up to her.

We have 2 sons and 1 daughter. From those kids we have 6 grandkids, 3 grandsons and 3 granddaughters. Oldest son has 2 (a daughter and a son), daughter has one daughter, and our youngest son has 3 (son, daughter and son). And our kids all married in-laws we are crazy about. It’s a good group.

I have two sons. One lives with his SO, who I like very much. I am pretty sure the barn door is shut on having kids for them. Older son is way too busy having a good time to get married. I think it’s for the best!

Well, I learn something everyday. Never heard the term "Irish twins". Googled it, and found it interesting.. Missed by a month.

Thank you for saying so nickel. Yes, I will accept anything anyone wants to tell me. It might be instantaneous, or it might be a process. This truth has been easy in some ways (I just bought them their first bra. Which they won't stop hugging me (and themselves) for! I could do the clothes, makeup, hair... immediately. I can say gender neutral pronouns. I sent them to therapy to make sure they feel supported. I can use their name and never their past name easily), and very difficult in others (listed the biggest one below. I'm still struggling with it being how they'll live forever). It's odd because they've never shown any signs of any doubt of their identity. I almost feel like this is university experimentation.

I'll use my friend Katherine as a foil. Her daughter Katie was actually in the Nashville newspaper for playing football with boys on the school team. Appeared very masculine in appearance, played sports, didn't date at all in high school, I could keep going... but when Katherine found out, she was completely blindsided. We all had asked her for years if Katie was gay. It couldn't have been more obvious to all of us!

No one has ever once thought my child identified as anyone other than male. The only sign? They would never ever show their chest in public. That was it. Not when we swim at the pool or in the ocean, and hot days on the asphalt pavement practicing marching band (trust me, I know from experience, you can be 110% male and be in marching band). They love cars, into fencing and rock climbing, etc. Not even for a moment, ever thought they felt as they (see? I was going to say "seem to". I can't say that if it's permanent. I obviously don't see it that way.) identify in the way they do. I can't be alone is why this is so long. If you need me, you know where to find me.

Thank you so much for sharing this, Rob. You have always come across to me as very caring. So glad your child has a supportive environment to navigate this journey.

Who would ever think that there are so many ways to be?

Rob, I commend you. I wish my thinking was more accepting of this fluidity. I tend to be black and white, with minimal gray areas. I have no problems with a person being gay, no problems with people who want to permanently transition to the opposite sex. I "get" those things. I do not understand "fluidity" as in, being female this morning and being male this afternoon. My brain insists .. pick one!

Rob, I babysat for a kid that was trying to figure something out. I brought (first name starts with....) A to appointments in Manhattan once a month to therapy, and babysat a few times a week. They moved to Brooklyn recently. I miss A and little bro G.

When I met A’s parents I was told about it. Did I have an issue? No I didn’t. I like kids. I was warned that A didn’t generally like many people. It took a while but eventually I knew things were alright when instead of letting go of my hand as soon as we were on the sidewalk, we held hands all the way home. Great, very smart kid! We had wonderful conversations about color and words and music. 💕 I miss little G too. He was the first tantrum thrower I ever had to care for! Wow. Now that’s rough! Lol

Knowing that unless tests are run people can internally can be both sexes but externally they may not be visually the one with the strongest hormones I have wondered it the people with bodies that do not align with their physical sex had both. Women have the ability to produce and do testosterones. There has probably been studies about men with the ability to produce female hormones. This has little or nothing to do with who a person is drawn to sexually but how the body is shaped nor about activities that they are drawn to.

You are an awesome mama, Robb.

We have a family friend whom I've known since she was a baby, who is now gender-neutral. It's sooo hard for me to use the proper pronouns, but I'll try. They is married with one child. Their family and in-laws are completely supportive, as well as their husband--he's a terrific fellow. Their family life continues as it was before the outward change. I admire them all for their unconditional support of E, (who changed their name to one that is gender-neutral.) As Mystical says, it's hard for my brain to make the change.

We have a daughter and son. DD's a high school history teacher and DS's a physician. Very proud of both!

Continuing down the biology path a moment. If anyone is interested in learning more about how certain characteristics develop as the human embryo grows from a collection of cells into a full-fledged baby, message me. I can direct you to an article that's a fairly short but super-informative read. Totally awesome, but probably NSFW (not safe for work), as they say, or I'd link here.

I have had four children. My oldest past away 7 1/2 years ago. He would have been 42. My 3 surviving children are two boys and a girl. I have one grandson.

Debby, I am so sorry.

I have no biological children, but have 2 adopted by love (not legally adopted) daughters and of course my two cats are my babies. Although we wanted a child or two and tried, God in His wisdom knew my little body couldn't handle a pregnancy. I'm thankful for that. My children were my students for 30 years and of course the many furkids were had.

I read every word of this thread as it's a subject dear to me. I was an only child as my mom had two miscarriages after I was born and died a year after the second one. I loved my baby dolls, and although at various times of my childhood and teen years I wanted to become a ballerina or an artist, the only true career ambition I ever had was to become a mother.

I was 22 when I got married, and my husband was almost 35. He had three daughters from his first marriage, but was fine with having more. We waited a few years and then thought it would happen quickly, but I went through infertility testing (less sophisticated than it is now) for several years. Our first child was born the day before our 8th wedding anniversary, and when she was little she enjoyed telling people she was born the day before we got married. :-)

I was lucky to have three children, two girls and a boy, and today I have four beautiful grandchildren--three boys, ages 9 years, 7 years, and 12 months, and a granddaughter who next month will turn 30! My daughter has two stepdaughters in college, and I think of them as my grands too.

I stayed close to my own stepdaughters. The oldest died last Christmas, adding to the pall hanging over the holidays this pandemic year. But their mother passed several years ago, and I'm glad I'm available to share memories.