Holiday candles...what an issue
sleevendog (5a NY 6aNYC NL CA)
3 years ago
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Fun2BHere
3 years agosleevendog (5a NY 6aNYC NL CA)
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Are the Holidays a Good Time for Mending Relationships
Comments (27)Hello organic brice, I was sick over the holiday. My husband called his father (his father never calls him) prior to the holiday. He said he didn't hear from his sister (only when she is needy and wants something). I called my mother prior to the holiday. No contact of any kind with the sisters. His aunt sent him an email (about the weather) and a few pics with the grandchildren (nothing else). He received an email from a cousin (sporadic emails) with a few sentences. Nothing else and nothing different--the status quo as usual. My husband doesn't want to rock-the-boat. They all want to pretend--the status quo is easier than to accept personal responsibility. I don't have the energy to cope and deal with any of them. I no longer care to try because they will never take responsibility. I used to try to make attempts, but this backfired and resulted in anger, rage and hostility. I was an easy scapegoat and the target of their rage, malice and misery. I think my husband okay with this (he says it isn't, but he doesn't talk to them about their unacceptable behaviors). He says, they will not change and they are a lost cause, etc. I find it easier and less emotionally stressful to stay away and avoid contact. It takes more than one person to find a solution and by their actions they have clearly demonstrated that they are unwilling to the invest time and energy into improving relationships. The status quo and pretending is their preferred outcome. A few years ago, my husband's step-mother sent him an email letting him know that she had left his father. He told me that at first he thought it was a joke. He called her and found out otherwise. The problem had been brewing for a long time, but he ignored it. She sent a Thanksgiving card addressed to Mr. & Mrs. with an inside note to him and me. I noticed that his father's name wasn't on the card and his name wasn't on the return address. (She sporadically sent cards to my husband for his B-day and Xmas and signed them from his father and her). She never acknowledged me. Then she sent another card for Xmas and it was basically the same, except this time, on the inside note she wrote my name first, instead of his. She'd never done this before (she'd never communicated to me, as it was always to him), so I took notice. I asked him what's up, and then he told me that two months prior she had left his father. I asked why he never said anything to me, and he made some excuse, saying he thought it wasn't important. To make a long story short, I repeatedly asked him throughout the year, if he was going to contact her (they had each other's emails and phone numbers--she would forward him email jokes) and all of her prior communication was to him. He told me there were a few emails, but really nothing to speak of. He'd made comments about her, which I felt were negative. I think he felt he had to choose sides (this is a consistent and very destructive behavior pattern), or else pay the price and as is typical of his behaviors--he didn't want to deal with it. He always told me his parents were the, "Do as I say, don't do as I do types". They make unreasonable demands and do not care who it hurts or the destruction it creates. I had health issues and surgery, so almost a year later I wrote her myself (I did not tell him). I finally had an opportunity to speak my peace, without his interference or control and she responded. She mainly vented her anger and frustration about his family--his father's manipulation and control and his sister's manipulative behaviors. She said that she had always stood up for me (to all his relatives), something that I never knew and was unaware of. She told me that she didn't want anything to do with their hateful, cruel and malicious existence. (This was his father's 3rd wife). If she told my husband about how she stood up for me, it was information which he never shared. I do know that she was upfront with him and direct about his sister's manipulative conduct. This was something that he did tell me about. I wrote again, but she didn't respond. I let her know that if she wanted to see me alone, I would be willing to do that, but if she wanted to visit with my husband that it was between her and him and I didn't want any involvement period. I told her that I don't want to blamed--my husband can take responsibility for his own behaviors and speak for himself. I want absolutely no part in any of it. Since she didn't respond, I left it at that as I've had too much on my plate to deal with. My MIL is deceased. She died two years ago. She didn't want a relationship with me. I've never written completely about her cruelty--someday I will. It probably would be good for me to let it out. I'm glad that you had a nice visit with your SIL and your husband's ex step-mother....See MoreHoliday kitchen cabinets
Comments (2)I just looked at their website. It seems that they have a line (RWH Full Access) that is said to be plywood, and another line with a similar name (RWH Estate Full Access) that is industrial board (i.e., particleboard). Is there any chance they messed up your order between the two lines?...See MoreLaundry Sales // Miele vs. LG // Holiday Sales
Comments (6)Ha Enduring. You are right. My short form typing when typing LG was literally meaning both little giant and LG Electronics... While I have not done a deep dive in depth analysis on the featuresets/etc of the Little Giant vs. the highest end LG, my head was swayed towards the LG Electronics as I was not able to get a 10 year warranty for the Little Giant. IMO or the luck of the draw, things usually go bad either in year 3-6, but after year 6, for sure IMO, things of these are best served under a warranty as the 1st visit literally pays for itself.... I went to Home Depot today and could not get past the plastic on the LG...granted the youtube video I looked at intrigued me, it was not even a fair handshake on build quality vs. the Mieles. So I am going to give Miele a call tomorrow to see what the parts costs will be ~if they will sell to a consumer~. If it's $250 or less, I'd be willing to just take a half crack shot and replacing the struts myself. Anything more, it might sway me towards other options. The cost for the Little Giant is not the issue. My beef is the warranty period.....When you spend 4K for washer, only to have a repair in year 5 1/2 or 6, only to find out it's going to cost #$$% in parts and labor. Truth be told, I remember the simpler days when I had ~consumer~ grade appliances and I can't recall ever needing a repair on any. They just ran and ran and ran... Almost every pro-sumer grade appliance I've had, to some degree has needed some level of repair here and there and then some !...See MoreHoliday home floor plan dilemma
Comments (14)In V1 the sofa certainly doesn't work facing the wall like that. In small spaces functions do double duty - so circulation is captured by other functional spaces to make them seem larger. This circulation from the front door becomes play space for your kid, open to the seating instead of backs facing it. I presume a front door might be closed most times, so it just becomes part of the wall - the space is big and open so there won't be a feeling of a "hallway." When left open it is another window matching the french doors. V1 allows both french doors to be open in the main congregration area, so I envision a bright airy space. If you could move the toilet plumbing, though, I would flip the bed/bath so the bedroom gets the french door. Don't worry about wall hangings and where decor is placed - unless you are a museum - that just muddles creativity and forces additional restrictions. Get the bones done right first. If you don't want the bathroom door to be viewed, this version has extended a wing wall to limit that visual. However, in a small studio/1 bedroom you have to shift gears in how you think compared to a 2400sf house. Leaving off the wingwall places the french door more within the kitchen/living - the bathroom door can be kept shut, or left open with the bathroom window bringing in even more light and air. V2 spaces are further from 'golden rectangle' proportions. Bathroom wastes space. French doors would be better in the living spaces. Enter into kitchen area....See Morefoodonastump
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