Need recs for a moisturizer for my elderly face...
Sueb20
3 years ago
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terezosa / terriks
3 years agoRelated Discussions
My Mom is elderly and difficult... Help?
Comments (36)There's a lot of ways people age. People can become more difficult in old age because as we age, we gradually loose control of our lives and also gradually loose our sense of being important. A lot of that is societal, but some of it is just how individual people define power and control. I know plenty of seniors who still contribute to society even after they retire, by serving on boards and volunteering for community service. They relate to others as friends, not just as bosses. But some people, like my folks for example, who were bosses at work their whole lives and who define power and contol by being infallible, do not deal well with aging. I would say, generally, that controlling people have a very difficult time with aging, and get more and more difficult as time goes on. 72 is not that old, but some people act like they are going on 92 their whole lives. Which is ironic, because there are probably some spry 92 year olds out there! Bear in mind what others have said, you can't control your mom but you can control how you react to her. You have some rights in this situation, and she has some adult responsibilities. If she chooses not to act like an adult (assuming she doesn't have some kind of dementia), then you are not responsible for her problems. Choose what you will do, and make it very clear that you are going to do as you see fit and if she doesn't like it, that is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. That's the only way you can deal with co-dependent people. You're just going to have to accept that she is going to be elderly and difficult. There's a difference between compassion (which you should exercise with your mom) and co-dependence, and the key is to navigate the line between the two. Recognizing the problem, like you have, is half the battle. And I think it also helps to share the burden by talking with others who are going through the same thing. I know I get a lot of solace from comiserating with my friends who are also dealing with or have dealt with difficult parental relationships. (Just ask Annie, lol!)...See MoreRecommendations for Face Moisturizer
Comments (29)Years ago I reacted to almost every commercial skin cream so began to use vegetable/nut oils for all my skin care. In order of preference I'd rate them like this: Argan oil - extremely beneficial and within a few minutes it absorbs and doesn't feel oily Coconut oil - love how my skin feels and smells and it's great for removing makeup Tamanu oil - it's a fantastic skin oil but rated lower only because of it's intense nut-like scent. I mix a drop of it with coconut oil Apricot kernel oil - very good Peach kernel oil - very good Olive oil - works well but I find it has an oilier feel and I have to wipe it off with a warm damp washcloth I use only organic, cold-pressed, virgin oils and add pure essential oils known to be good for skin care, such as Rose Absolute, Lavender, Frankincense, Geranium, and others. For damaged or aging skin an excellent essential oil is Wild Carrot Seed but I prefer Rose Absolute as it has a more pleasant scent. Please don't use fragrance oils and expect results. They are toxic substances. I use these oils twice a day after my shower and notice the difference in how my skin looks if I miss even once. My skin is very sensitive but I clean it by washing with soap (not detergents) and moisturizing with oils. The only thing these products don't have are the fancy containers and high prices of most skin care products!...See MoreActivities for elderly. Ideas needed
Comments (37)What an article. I am over-whelmed at the moment. It has hit very very close to home. My Dad was in much the same condition/mental state for 6 months before he died and I was his caregiver. I moved to FL to live with Mom and Dad and take care of him. His dementia was brought on by something a pd caregiver did/gave him . She had been in their home for 1 month. She and her spouse were attempting to get my Dad to sign checks behind Mom's back. By the time Mom realized what was going on and my DB and I got there all was lost. Except for the horror and the bills the incompetent medical community that we had to deal with. My only fault with the article is his ending. There is nothing you can do personally that will hasten your own end except suicide. If you decided to do this while you are still able then so be it. But...if you wait...ah...then who will you designate to carry out your wishes. Will they ? When will be the right time ? Tomorrow...OK...what if it is a good day ? See what you are facing. Hubris ...that is what is at work . Thank you Gold for a powerful thread and roselvr for an eye opening article. And the writer, thank you. Here is a link that might be useful: Hubris...See MoreRecommendations for Face Moisturizer
Comments (28)alisande - the funny thing is of course is that my skin is not really all that good - it was basically my foundation - now d/c - have one application left - that made it appear so. One lipstick isn't my only problem - I have one blush, foundation, a couple of neutral eye shadows and my moisturizing loose powder. My husband thinks I am making it up when I tell him that so many women have drawers full of the latest colours! Of course my one lipstick is not cheap - but since I only have one it sort of balances out. I read your posting written by the beauty editor - I wish I could use retinol. Back in the day when these types of products first came out, my derm tried just a touch on the side of my jaw - yikes: My skin is just too thin - and with the rosacea a major problem. Can't handle fillers either - so what you see is what you get. I have bought the new formulation of my foundation - has more oil which is good but lacks the coverage which is bad. The SAs in the U.S. have found that their customers of a certain age hate it and it has really cost them sales - certainly younger girls like it, but if I wanted a slightly thicker TM I would have bought one. Actually, despite wearing my former full coverage, oil based foundation, I appeared to be wearing a TM - my skin just sucked it up. Of course everything I use is higher end but at the lower end of the high end due to my acid/retinol issues. I would love to be able to do a yogourt mask - or egg and honey (the honey gets me), I can't use exfoliators - my skin seems to exfoliate itself. My derm and his nurse actually wrote a paper about me. So the search goes on for a new lipstick - and one that does not look dry. I do lip balm my lips like crazy, then fill them in with a liner (now d/c) and then the lipstick. I once managed to match the colour but the formula felt as if I had been eating greasy soup and crackers. After apply my l/s I can't tell I am wearing it, which is good. Basically, I have no colour to my face - never have - except for the yellow under-tone and the dark, deep set eyes. I don't use concealer because what goes on must come off and I also have ocular rosacea. My lips have absolutely no pigment. My eyes are hazel but I don't suit lavender e/s - yellow skin - plus I can't handle the pigment. Same with copper shades. I adore "sophisticated" pinks - unfortunately I look horrible in pink - but since in Toronto we can buy so many brands at only one store, the same customers have seen each other over the years and everyone knows that I will try something if I think it might work - and have seen the horror shows - so they will ask for my opinion - particularly re pinks! But better to know that they look awful on me. Clothing wise I look best in jet black, navy and khaki green (that is a hard one to find). I look pretty awful in most other colours. So black it often is and we have a white dog - who sheds. I wish my skin was normal! I do often add almond oil to unscented drugstore body lotion - that helps a lot. I do not have any perfume because it turns rancid on me - so that is a money saver and at least I can't be accused of stinking up a room. Unscented antiperspirant is a problem because the scented versions turn on me - I smell like rancid baby powder. Then there is unscented laundry detergent. You have many more options in the U.S. that we do in Canada, so if I can find a laundry detergent I can use, I buy 6....See MoreSueb20
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