A doctor is a doctor. Some people prefer a doctor of their own gender, some of another, and some just don't care as long as the doctor is good - or more likely, accepting new patients when your HMO changes. I think it is probably more due to who we are comfortable dealing with that a vast difference in results. As patients we have preconceived notions about male doctors or female doctors. Whether these notions are true or not we will measure them against these perceptions. We bring to the table what we have done in our past. If we came from raising beautiful perennial beds in our back yards we will be bringing experience that grew from that to the design table. If we worked for hardscape construction companies we bring that. If we are out of an environmental design field we'll probably be prone to more native landscapes and be less likely to be planting colorful exotics. The reality is that a lot of people are going to have preconceived notions of what background and what interests you have by your gender or the way you look or dress. Whether that is right or wrong, you should do the best to project where you are right now. If you show up with a pair of long braids, calico gloves, and a sun bonnet, I'm not going to think that your strength is in masonry regardless of your gender. If you look like you just crawled out from fixing a tractor, I'm not going to have confidence in you designing my cottage garden. These don't rule you out or rule you in, but it just makes a longer row for you to hoe to gain a persons confidence.

Ciao Martin, you talk about the canning your nonna had, yes, that is something I still do and learned from Nonna and zia Assunta. I at the time have 19 quarts of homemade macaroni sauce, I have 23 small pints of Tomato paste, about 10 pints of fried peppers and garlic, and soup base with lots of carrots, onions, garlic and celery. I tried to get a quick jump on all of this as my garden (vegetable) is producing quickly all at once. This morning i canned some fresh figs that I picked around sunup, they are from my Paradiso and my Peters Honey trees. cold packing them now. I will probably get around 100 quarts of just macaroni sauce this year. Sometimes I go to the Amish around the area and have to buy more Tomatoes when my small garden is done to fill my personnal quota. You figure we eat pasta easily now only about 4 days a week, so you need alot of sauce. I also grow alot of flowers and Olive trees. I grow mainly the flowers we had alot of back in Italy,, Bougainvillea, Cappero (Capers) which I can in Pizza sauce, Oh thats what I have to do yet, geraniums, Oleander, Italian Jasmine ect. I also have 2 Carob trees growing which my nonna used to chew like it was gum or something. I do have an affinity for the Jasmine and the Bougainvillea though. Yes just about all the gardening I learned from her and her sisters. There was NEVER a weed in their gardens. They would go out and talk to everything, and Pick pick pick weeds, everything was groomed perfectly. It is funny now, me heading into middle age, I find myself doing just what she did. Funny how history repeats itself. Drying figs outside you mentioned was also a fond memory for me. All the figs drying everywhere. Even though my aunt got a dehydrator for Christmas, she hasn't used it yet!! she still drys the figs in the sun. Ciao Maggie

I think it's all depending on whether that male friend found the woman to be attractive or not. Also, it's depending on the level of their closeness & mental intimacy. If a man found a woman who's his soul mate on email exchange, and irl she's physical/sexually attractive, it's probably difficult for him to not falling for her (whether he wants it or not). I have a lot of male friends, but they aren't my soul mates and I'm not attracted to them. I'm there to help then anytime they need me, we are very good friends since we were 18 (met in college) but because we don't have physical attraction for each other, nothing ever happened. They are all married w/ kids. However, I'm very cautious a/b entering a level where a male friend became my soul mate . If I found a man who is my soul mate (understand me, sharing my common passions, etc.) and we are both physically attracted to each other, then it would be tough to keep my marriage intact. I do not want to be tempted, you know, so I don't even go there. Yes, I can be friends, but I don't let any man enter the inner sanctum of my heart :-). Once (before DH) I knew this man from the internet who was my soulmate in every way. We often compared ourselves to Sabine & Griffith who live on parallel universe. Well, we met irl & while he was very physical attracted to me, I am not attracted to him. He ended up being hurt by my refusal & that broke our friendship. If I was remotely attracted to him, we are probably married now. :-) A lot of marital affairs started out as friendship, you know. :-)

Henrik was due to visit last christmas, but with family coming, and my husband having passed a little over a year before, re-thought the idea, and needed to consider my children. He called and I relayed this back to him, and he wasn't too happy. He said he was really looking forward to visiting, didn't expect me to pay for the ticket, and doing any work would only be me requiring to pay for what was needed. I let him know I didn't think my family would be comfortable with his being here, to which he became annoyed and left me pi**ed off. We haven't spoken since, whereas he was calling almost monthly. I still think of him and what might have been a friendship or maybe more. Please tell me I need to 'GET OVER IT'(said by Cher in one of her movies). Would love a dinner, movie, etc., with a male other than my son! Dating sites? Don't want an older man, and that's what the choices would be for someone my age. Am I doomed to be alone the rest of my life? I'm a very young 71 year old! Single cruises anyone? I would love to take a river cruise to Europe !