I've recently moved into a second floor apartment. It's a small building - only a 'four family' and so far, so good with one exception...the girl next door to me. Sound carries embarrasingly well on 'certain' occasions. I don't know her name but I certainly know what she yells at critical moments! :) That isn't the issue - what is the issue is that when she isn't ****ing, she and the boyfriend are fighting and I mean, 'You shut the **** up and do what I tell you!' sort of fighting. Yesterday, around 3am, I was awakened to extremely loud shouting and thumping, then sobbing. I decided to mind my own beeswax and put in earplugs. Tonight, however, the screaming, banging (no, not THAT kind) and crying was at such a pitch I called 911. The police came immediately but no one would open the door. I had made an 'anonymous' call so they didn't ask around. Not ten minutes after the police left, the stereo cranked up in the apartment next door - and I mean, full-tilt-booming bass and they began pounding on the floor - running from room to room, stomping as hard as they could. I guess they figured the gal below them had called the PD. The police showed up again and came barging up the back stairwell, this time, right outside my door. They demanded to know what was going on and a male voice called out, 'You're not coming in here without a warrant'. The officers called out to the girl, 'Ma'am? Are you allright?' No response. The asked the guy who was with him, and again, he said, 'Come back with a warrant. I'm done with you.' and retreated away from the door. On the way downstairs, the police were confronted by the girl who lives downstairs - she made some comment about all the noise THEY were making. She then proceeded to tell them that no, she hadn't heard anything and couldn't imagine why anyone would have called the police!?! She lives below these folks and has to deal with their rudeness on a far worse level than I do. Why would she lie? I'm now starting to be a bit concerned that perhaps I should be afraid? I live in Missouri - If I begin to feel threatened by the scrotal sac my neighbor is dating, do I have any recourse to approach my landlord about finding me another apartment? His voice, through the door, was polite, well articulated, and absolutely curdled my OB negative. That and the emphatic, 'Oh, no, I never have any problem with them' from the lady downstairs has really got me worried. Sheesh. Any advice? Anyone know of a nice Yurt in Mongolia I could rent?

Dear lovehadley, I've never posted to this board before but I felt compelled to send a message to you. I'm an experienced stepmom of three. My stepkids have two different mothers. One BM is reasonable and helpful. The other is unstable and narcissistic. We have had to work very hard to keep this brood together - and I've learned a lot. I can tell you from experience that unless you set some boundaries and take control of your life, you are in for rocky ride that will definitely include an unwanted divorce. You are correct that most courts now favour 50/50. It's fashionable and it doesn't require anyone to make a real decision. However, it doesn't work for all children or all families. It won't work in your case. The BM is set on making trouble and the child is out of control. The current situation is bad. Moving to 50/50 would be better, but you'd still have an obsessive BM harassing you and a child in your house that you can't manage. Just imagine this child in 5 years, when he's almost as big as you are. Furthermore, your quality of life is just not good enough. You are very young, obviously articulate and you clearly have a compassionate nature. Yet your day to day life is all about your stepson and this crisis. You are going to wake up very soon and find that you're 40 years old and have wasted your young years fighting a battle that you can't win. You need to take control of your situation. It's not working and your fiance's proposed solutions aren't going to make life any better for you. He can fight for sole custody of this child, but he most likely will lose. Even if by some miracle he wins, the child will be opposed to it and he'll be unmanageable. Furthermore, the BM will get very liberal access which will be just the ticket she needs to harass you every minute of your life. It won't be much of a victory and it won't last long. I can pretty much guarantee that this child will end up living fulltime with the BM. Either he will demand it, or you will demand it, or you will leave and your fiance will have no choice but to relinquish custody. How you get to this place is up to you. You can continue to live in this nightmare until you walk out, or you and your fiance can figure out a reasonable schedule whereby this child can live with his mother, and spend ENJOYABLE, nonthreatening visits with you. Believe me, once the BM has this kid on her hands fulltime, she'll be VERY EXCITED about these access visits and she'll make sure that the child is as good as gold every minute. And, best of all, once she's dependant on you for the occasional break, her behaviour will improve dramatically. It's too bad that this child has a lousy mother and behavioural problems. But you can't solve this problem and ruining your life won't make it any better. All you can do is set boundaries for you own life, and then enforce them. It's tough, I know. But, trust me, it works and you will be much happier. The child will be happier too. It's bad to have an unstable mother. But it's much worse to be caught in the middle of a war and be swatted back and forth between two different worlds twice a week. Let your fiance read this email. Good luck.

Hi Tosca, here are pics of our walk in pantry beneath the stairs. It's a funky odd space but we made good use of it. Pic 1 - the door is right next to our fridge (fridge & rest of the kitchen is to the right). This opens up to the section that I think is under the top of the stairs or perhaps it's under the 2nd floor landing. The ceiling is pretty high. Pic 2 - the pantry then wraps around under the stairs and behind the fridge. The door to the right leads to the furnace which is also under the stairs. Because the furnace may someday need to be replaced, we opted for a rolling cart for our coffee maker rather than a built in cabinet. Not shown: the wall directly behind the fridge. We have our mops and brooms hanging on that.

I just got an email from realstone systems, the tile manufacturer stating which adhesive to use for a warranty and the contractors lawyer just filed a mechanics lien on my property! This really pisses me off, he hasn’t even finished the other projects! He still has to wallpaper a wall, patch painting and redo a window glass install he didn’t match properly because I didn’t tell him which glass to use...my condo association isn’t happy about that! And just look at the discoloration!!