The other thing is oh maybe 6 weeks ago as we were out and about in our yard, cleaning up and such after a very windy day, I went to rake up a bunch of leaves on our walkway under our deck and I found this:

Now my younger cousins are into tats and grunge and such and I check with their mother and no, they didn't lose rings. We have few children in our neighborhood, but I did check with the neighbors who do have them, as the ring is rather small, and no, they didn't lose any rings. So I was thinking that crows will sometimes pick up shiny objects and then drop them...or who knows what.

But putting these two together, and yep, my anxiety is up another notch.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss. When I first went to Oaxaca, they were having major guerilla warfare that I was unaware of, but I did notice that there were soldier with bayonets on every street corner in downtown Oaxaca City. Since I grew up near Fort Hood, Texas, I was used to seeing lots of soldiers, and so I just thought that this must have been a military town, and I walked around the bayonets when I crossed the streets and didn't think anything about it. I did notice that hotels were very cheap and that there were very few other tourists, however. Then when I went back to Oaxaca after the guerilla warfare was over, I noticed that there were no soldiers there, and so I asked someone what happened to all the soldiers. They told me, "The guerilla warfare is over." And I said, "What guerilla warfare?"

A similar thing happened when I went to Belize while they were at war with UK.

If the pandemic were not going on, I would recommend taking a self defense class.

Yikes Lars...going in the middle of a war! Yeah, ignorance is bliss sometimes for sure.

Actually, the war was between Guatemala and UK, but I crossed the border from Belize. If I had had a British passport, I would not have been allowed in Guatemala, but they did allow Canadians. Guatemala was trying to take Belize back from UK.

I would rather know about the s__ offender in my neighborhood. I don't imagine that at my age I would be his next victim, but then I don't know his proclivities. I probably would caution my daughters and Grand daughters. Forewarned is forearmed.

Sometimes we are better off not knowing. There is evil all around us.

Side story: Years ago I attended a concert in MSG.

As we were all leaving en mass, I felt a a tug on my purse and a hand was in my pocketbook! I pulled it away.

It felt so odd to me that here we all were, having just enjoyed a concert and a man who bought a ticket just as I did, was a thief. (What was his thought process? Trying to recoup the price of his ticket?)

Annie, try not to dwell too much in this man. Maybe he got the help that he needed. Getting himself away from subways as a first step in rehab?

The ring is a mystery. I know your DH likes to mow your property, but has anyone else been on your grounds doing yard work?

I accept the crow theory as a possibility.

A few years ago (10+) I found a change purse near a walk trail. It contained a mirror, two razor blades, a clipped drinking straw and $300. What would you have done?

I checked when my kids were young and found out they're everywhere in this little town. Very scary for a mom with young kids. So is the guy who hung the effigy of our governor in front of the governor's mansion. ) :

Actually Michael, I know what he did..there was an article in the newspaper about him.

A twice-convicted sex-offender was busted for exposing himself and groping a woman on the subway — on the same day he was meant to appear in court for another subway sex crime, authorities told The Post.

Serial pervert xx was taken into custody on Monday after allegedly rubbing his exposed p___s on a woman’s backside while riding a 4 train heading from Union Square to Brooklyn Bridge station, police said.

xx, 57, has two convictions for forcible touching and sex abuse, one in 2016 and one in 2018, and was scheduled to appear in Manhattan criminal court for a third offense that took place in April of this year [2019] just 40 minutes after he was arrested, police said....

Plainclothes officers spotted xx on the platform of the Union Square 4/5/6 platform casing straphangers in search of a victim. After he assaulted the 62-year-old woman, the officers took him into custody and removed him from the train, authorities said.

He is also 6'3" so I'm sure he can be quite powerful and intimidating to a woman.

What's most concerning is I often walk the trails through the woods around here by myself and I'd hate to come across this animal. I've obviously been doing this for quite awhile happy in my bliss, but now I'm not so sure, though nothing has changed except my knowledge of him.

Maybe time to get my carry permit....

This is especially weirding me out as, when I was 17, a college student, and commuting on the subway to a part-time job, I was a victim of just such an assault. It so shook me, I immediately changed jobs to one where I didn't need to ride the subway.

Annie, please, no guns! I carry a dog horn when I go on a walk on the trails near me. Hopefully that would attract attention or scare away any sickos.

If I told you what lives directly across the street from me you would be aghast. Both father and son are in prison for sexual crimes. The son is mentally unstable. There are many young children in our neighborhood and I would be scared to have the son near them. They are like a cancer in an otherwise very lovely neighborhood located in one of the wealthiest zip codes in the country (not that I am wealthy!). Their house looks like it is ready to fall down.

Since the pandemic people have been coming from all over to walk the trails near me. People are looking for a safe way to be outside. They seem to be coming from all over the place. I felt comfortable walking there and seeing my neighbors but it seems to be a rowdier crowd now, so I don’t go.

Michael, one day we went to pick up pizza and I found a woman's purse in the parking lot...she must've put it down to load the pizza and forgot it.

I took it to the police station. I told them I didn't look inside and refused to give them my name. Last thing I'd need is to find it's some wacko who would accuse me of stealing money from her or whatever. Let them handle it.

Well.....I checked the list in my last "hood"....and when a house burned down of unknown causes, I knew someone else had also checked the list.

You just have to "feel" safe, so you can live your life.....it's an illusion.

I carry mace when I walk, it's clipped to my water bottle.

Flashers and people who press or grope in crowded situations are pretty benign as predators go. It's not like the person who violently attacks, hits or rapes. You neighbor is likely the kind of sexual criminal who is excited by upsetting their victim, and while it's unpleasant, it's pretty low on the danger scale. I've seen a few flashers in my life, including once at my university library. The best way to handle it is to ignore them, as if what they are trying to show you is so inconsequential you don't even notice. And if they are physically close, a good hard stomp on the foot, as I once did to a jerk on a crowded bus, works wonders.

I can understand the feeling of uneasiness. Is there anyone in law enforcement locally you know that can verify this person is still at that address? Is it a home or an apartment?

As you know, we are in a rural area. Part of my post-government employment includes ‘myID.com‘ service that includes things like monitoring of credit report activity and reports of SO’s living in our area. Occasionally one has moved within a certain radius of our house so I go look at it. All have been 3-4 miles away and not really a threat to our neighborhood, but it still gives one pause to know they are out there.

As to the ring, have there been other outside workers at your home in the last year or so? I could also understand the crow or even a raccoon or other critter having dropped it nearby.

Could people who start out as flashers and gropers be the type who escalate to more violent behavior if the excitement level drops?

I could check into pepper spray...a lot faster to get than a carry permit...and guns are heavy to carry with you...or maybe get an apple watch so I can make an emergency 911 call easily...

"A few years ago (10+) I found a change purse near a walk trail. It contained a mirror, two razor blades, a clipped drinking straw and $300. What would you have done?"

My first instinct would be to bring it to the police station. But since it contained drug paraphernalia , I doubt anyone would claim it. After a certain amount of time the police probably would have an appropriate fund to donate the money to.

Wasp and hornet spray are cheaper and easier to find in stores. Very effective if sprayed in the eyes and face. WD-40 comes in a very small can also with a red looped handle on it which can easily be tucked into your palm. That would have to hurt.

Annie D., I think it's good to know what's up, as long as you aren't the type to over-react (which I don't think you are.)

A 'nextdoor website' neighbor looked that up a few Halloween's ago. There were two area houses in the database at the time, but I never learned anything more about them.

I have looked up crime stat's for my DD's neighborhood. While it's generally safe, I feel better since she recently adopted a dog (a treeing walker coonhound, so reasonably big).

I've nothing against responsible gun ownership, but in many instances I think walking with a dog would be safer. Dogs are a very visible sign to a bad guy that you're not going to be sneaking up on this person. I saw a suggestion that you teach your dog to bark loudly when cued with the word "Protect!". Not to attack or anything, just to bark. If that doesn't scare off who-ever, you're in way big trouble anyhow.

To answer Michael's question -- Yikes! I'd take it to the police station, and let them deal with it. And keep my eyes open when walking in that area again, just for a while. I'm world's biggest coward so if I saw anything suspicious happening I'd back away.

Elizabeth, my understanding is these guys get a dopamine charge out of shocking their victims or thrill of the risk of getting caught, but over time, they may need to engage in more risky behaviors to get the same charge, so they can escalate over time. The fact that this guy is as old as he is and has not escalated beyond this subway business may be a good sign, but the fact that he's so addicted that he did it again 40 min after his arrest suggests he's really got issues.

Annie....I do carry pepper spray....but keep in mind, I was told THIS by my Karate instructor/Sensei. If someones on drugs, they can't feel the pain of pepper spray...you have to disable them to stem the attack.

It’s ok to be in bliss about alot of things but not those things that concern our livelyhood, safety or health. When it comes to those issues, knowledge is power so I want to know who is in our midst. I wouldn’t necessarily get rattled by a guy like that because his offense was basically none violent and not as severe as so many can be. The ring however, is what would have me a little bit cautious. Only because skulls haven’t been popular for that long and you don’t know where it came from. I would interpret it as a sign that maybe you need to beef up your home’s security a bit. I’m not talking about barring your windows and putting in a high security alarm system, but there are little things one can do to give the appearance that people are home. One thing on my list presently is to get some lighting gadgets that will turn some lights on from a timer or my phone.

There’s riff raft everywhere, always has been, thanks to computers and social programs like the S** offenders list, the information is just more available to us now.

I, and most of my female friends, won’t walk alone on the trails here. Even in a group, you can have trouble. Last year a running club was on a trail, middle of the afternoon, and two of the women at the back were assaulted by two men. The men were caught, but come on, the women were doing everything “right”, running in a group on a paved open trail in broad daylight. It’s awful.

Annie, maybe get a German shepherd. Seriously.

I don't see anywhere that he's had any drug offenses...

Bpath, I just thought the same. A nice size dog, but it might upset her cats.

I ordered pepper spray gel a couple months back before traveling with my daughter. It might not be a bad idea to carry it when walking on the trails alone.

I took a self defense class for women and learned two things about carrying a weapon (or as the instructor called it, "introducing a weapon into the situation.") The first is, don't carry anything that you would hesitate for even an instant to use. And the second thing to remember is that if the attacker gets ahold of your weapon, chances are that they will be better at using it than you are.

Your attacker would be very highly motivated to use whatever weapon is displayed. Never carry a weapon if you are unsure as to whether or not you could use it as it could very quickly be turned against you. You must act swiftly and decisively.

Annie, no-one wants to know that there is someone like this in their neighborhood but knowing will keep you more alert. I personally don't have a problem with anyone who wants to carry concealed but, as it was stated above, if you are overpowered before being able to use the weapon, it's of no use and could be used against you. And you have to have the frame of mind to be able to use deadly force. You might want to google Tiger lady self defense tool. But be alert and don't go into solitary areas alone. Sorry. I've looked online and am aghast at how many sex offenders and child perverts there are all around my area, some of them within blocks of an elementary school. Before we left our previous residence someone moved in right next door who we found out after we moved was a child pornography slime-ball. I was livid but I also had a bad feeling about this guy, unfortunately it was just an instinctive feeling so I wasn't able to warn the families with children around there since I had no proof. When it comes to evil trust your gut.

I had always wanted a dog, but when our neighbor found a strange man in their garage that’s when my husband was convinced it was a good idea too. They’re elderly, but Lukkily their son who is really big was the one who opened the door. They “had” a habit of leaving their garage door open.

Having a dog helps. Our dog is friendly and goofy, not a guard dog by any means, but those ears and that nose are amazing. Knowing she’ll alert us whenever she hears or smells something out of the norm is comforting. I know she will calm down once she sees we’ve agreed to someone entering, but I like that people hesitate when they see her fur raised and hear her warning growl as they enter.

They say knowledge is power but sometimes too much knowledge can overwhelm and make one freeze.

The way out of that is to have tools to cope with the situation. I'm not very good at this ... I hope you're better at it.

A whistle a personal alarm that attaches to your body and when broken apart rings loudly. Those plus an emergency button might be the things that will help.

Many years ago they developed a nausea inducing vial that one wears on ones bra strap or edge of bra and when it breaks everyone in too close proximity vomits. That is an option for people in huge danger zones. You can run at least but you can't scream if you're vomiting.

Unfortunately we can be trapped in our own knowledge sometimes and it can be constricting rather than freeing. Walking with a group is safer but you don't feel as free and independent sometimes if you have to seek out a group every time. :-(.

I don't walk alone in the forest and I am very aware of the people around me. . I love walking at night but don't do it alone. I used to have a personal alarm but when the batteries ran out I did not put new ones in and that was the end of that. A cell phone only works as well as your ability to grab it that's why I liked the personal alarm. It hung on my hip and broke away quite easily but not too easily.

They say if someone is after you to scream fire if you are close to homes or people. They will more likely listen to that than calling out help I'm being chased or attacked.

jupidupi echoed what I was taught when I took self awareness training many years ago given by the police. The suggestions that have stuck with me but I have never used was to wear a chunky ring that you could accidentally scratch someone who grabbed you but more importantly carry a small handful of coins in your pocket. The idea of the coins is to toss them into someone's face and while they are startled break away and run like toothpicks. People tend to look at something that is tossed in their face. Any distraction but the pepper spray etc. will anger an attacker and could make things worse.

So am I better off knowing?

You do know about this creep (I was victimized by a similar subway creep for a while). So, it's good to be aware. But if it gives you a false sense of security that the registry actually identifies anywhere near all sexual predators and you let your guard down, then it is a disservice, for you.

I checked the list a few years back looking for registered offenders near where a missing college student's body was found. One thing that struck me was how many little dots there were all over the map. The other thing that struck me was that three of the people that were listed were acquaintances of mine, including one who had done outdoor work on my property.

Yikes bob! That's upsetting!

Of course, I think it's important to know what they were charged with...you can get the benign that he was just old enough and she just young enough to count as jail bait even though it was completely consensual...but that could follow someone the rest of their life...which is completely different from rape or child pron kind of stuff.

There are possibly other sex offenders in your neighborhood. You just trust them more because they aren't marked.

I looked on the sex offender list when my kids were little. One was working with dh. It freaked me out a little, but then I realized that 1.) He was working so he didn't have all kinds of free time. 2.) I think the reason why he was a sex offender was possibly because he had sex with an underage (consenting) male who was possibly a prostitute. It's relatively easy to get on the sex offender list. 3.) He was never going to be around my children.

You always need to be aware. The people you trust may be the worst offenders and you won't find out about it until years later. You have an ace against this guy because he is marked. You and your neighbors can monitor him and more easily have something done if you think he isn't following the rules.

I would want to know if it's the 'nice guy' in the yard with all the flowers--the one I stop and chat about gardening with when I walk by.

Some people are oblivious to their world, where they are and who they interact with and others are fixated, hyper-focused and paranoid in the same circumstances. I think the right place to be on the spectrum is in the middle (not unlike most continuums) - not worried, not looking for problems, not overreacting to issues that come along but also not oblivious.

In your situation, Annie, I wouldn't give it another thought. In your neighborhood, as in mine and everyone else's, there are likely all kinds of people with extreme and potentially unpleasant histories and behavior potentials. It happens you can look up one type but prior sex offenders are significantly outnumbered by the other kinds of odd ducks and potentially dangerous people of all types that are all around.

Just as an example, there are all kinds of socially awkward and sexually tormented or perverted people around who are capable of undesirable behavior if triggered by something. There's no way to look them up if they have no prior criminal record. You know such people (whether you realize it or not) and I do too.

Little ever comes of it, it's not worth the time to think about.

@Annie Deighnaugh, you said, "... the fact that he's so addicted that he did it again 40 min after his arrest suggests he's really got issues."

But from the story you posted, it said that he was arrested a third time 40 minutes before he was supposed to appear in court for the second offense. NOT that he did it again 40 minutes after he was arrested.

Just remember, you're only reading about convicted sex offenders who have to register. Chances are there are sexual predators already in your neighborhood and town who just haven't been arrested or convicted yet. Since most women don't report sexual assaults, chances of the perpetrator being caught are slim (although stranger assaults are more rare than acquaintance assaults).

"Despite the increase in self-reports of rape and sexual assault, there
was a decrease in reporting to police from 2017 to 2018. Forty-percent
(40%) of rapes and sexual assaults were reported to police in 2017, but
only about 25% were reported to police in 2018." source:

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

So, knowing or not knowing seems pretty irrelevant to me. We all should assume we are at risk and always be smart about and aware of our surroundings. Self defense classes can help you feel more prepared.

Thanks Lindsey, you're right...it was just before he was heading into court for a prior arrest...which suggest to me that he offends as a way of relieving stress.

My vote would be for a key chain alarm. The attacker can't overwhelm you and use it against you, unlike a gun or mace.

Let's hope that living in the suburbs has de-stressed this guy. But if I were you, I would research and come up with photos of the guy so you know what he looks like.

"What's most concerning is I often walk the trails through the woods
around here by myself and I'd hate to come across this animal. I've
obviously been doing this for quite awhile happy in my bliss, but now
I'm not so sure, though nothing has changed except my knowledge of him."

I apologize in advance for the brashness of my question...but...who walks alone in the woods these days considering the number of reported assaults in this State alone that have taken place on public woodland trails let alone private trails? I know you are up on the news, Annie. For heaven's sake...pay attention to the more local agenda and either only walk with friends or stay out of the woods.

Beyond that...this person's MO isn't woodland trails. He prefers subways and apparently, older, less physically capable women. He needs a close, confined area in which to successfully "perform" and it would be very unlikely that he will veer from that MO. He probably enjoys the thrill of an audience, as well. Woodland creatures wouldn't cut it for him.

I'd be more concerned about the glib, over attentive "gentleman" sharing a cocktail moment at an invitation only party. Those guys can be deadly in more ways than one and I can attest to that first hand.

Personally...I agree with Elmer. Don't let this newfound info ruin your day...or your sleep.

graywings, I do know what he looks like...there is a pic with each offender in the database. A keychain alarm probably wouldn't do me much good given how far from housing, and especially occupied housing in the daytime (we are a bedroom community) I am when I hike. I rarely see anyone else at all. I'm also not sure about cell coverage in the deep woods so a 911 watch may not work at all.

winter, walking alone in the woods is very healing for me...something I've been doing since I could remember. While I enjoy a walk with others, a walk alone is a very different experience....I call it spending time in the cathedral of the trees. It's something I enjoy doing and I don't want to let bear, bobcat, or two-legged animals deter me from my path. Part of me says he's the problem so why should I pay?

It is a risk I'm willing to take...like the 5 mile hike I did alone, fell in a hole, broke my ankle and had to walk out 2-3 miles on a broken ankle. Not fun, but an experience for sure.