Holidays in a difficult time
6 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (9)
- 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
Related Discussions
Difficult times.....
Comments (30)Teresa, I'm so sorry to hear about your father, it's never easy no matter how old they are or how wonderful their life. You and your family will be in my prayers for strength and healing. Congratulations on the new baby in the family and on the house. I've always said that the only way to really clean a house is to move but it appears that having the entire thing repainted might be effective too! All those colors, though! I'd have painted it all white. (grin) Annie...See Moreparty to thank people who helped us during a difficult time
Comments (3)Thanks Nancy Louise. My husband I'm sure would prefer something more casual. Between his coworkers and mine it would be at least 50 invites so if you go with the two thirds rule we could easily have 60 or 70 people. Our backyard is big enough to host it. It just seems like more mess to do a BBQ than if I did a cocktail party with appetizers inside the house and spill out into the patio. I kind of like the cards idea though. It is meant to be a party showing thanks to the people who helped us and prayed for us so not so sure the cards is the best idea. Maybe I'm being too literal....See MoreAre the Holidays a Good Time for Mending Relationships
Comments (27)Hello organic brice, I was sick over the holiday. My husband called his father (his father never calls him) prior to the holiday. He said he didn't hear from his sister (only when she is needy and wants something). I called my mother prior to the holiday. No contact of any kind with the sisters. His aunt sent him an email (about the weather) and a few pics with the grandchildren (nothing else). He received an email from a cousin (sporadic emails) with a few sentences. Nothing else and nothing different--the status quo as usual. My husband doesn't want to rock-the-boat. They all want to pretend--the status quo is easier than to accept personal responsibility. I don't have the energy to cope and deal with any of them. I no longer care to try because they will never take responsibility. I used to try to make attempts, but this backfired and resulted in anger, rage and hostility. I was an easy scapegoat and the target of their rage, malice and misery. I think my husband okay with this (he says it isn't, but he doesn't talk to them about their unacceptable behaviors). He says, they will not change and they are a lost cause, etc. I find it easier and less emotionally stressful to stay away and avoid contact. It takes more than one person to find a solution and by their actions they have clearly demonstrated that they are unwilling to the invest time and energy into improving relationships. The status quo and pretending is their preferred outcome. A few years ago, my husband's step-mother sent him an email letting him know that she had left his father. He told me that at first he thought it was a joke. He called her and found out otherwise. The problem had been brewing for a long time, but he ignored it. She sent a Thanksgiving card addressed to Mr. & Mrs. with an inside note to him and me. I noticed that his father's name wasn't on the card and his name wasn't on the return address. (She sporadically sent cards to my husband for his B-day and Xmas and signed them from his father and her). She never acknowledged me. Then she sent another card for Xmas and it was basically the same, except this time, on the inside note she wrote my name first, instead of his. She'd never done this before (she'd never communicated to me, as it was always to him), so I took notice. I asked him what's up, and then he told me that two months prior she had left his father. I asked why he never said anything to me, and he made some excuse, saying he thought it wasn't important. To make a long story short, I repeatedly asked him throughout the year, if he was going to contact her (they had each other's emails and phone numbers--she would forward him email jokes) and all of her prior communication was to him. He told me there were a few emails, but really nothing to speak of. He'd made comments about her, which I felt were negative. I think he felt he had to choose sides (this is a consistent and very destructive behavior pattern), or else pay the price and as is typical of his behaviors--he didn't want to deal with it. He always told me his parents were the, "Do as I say, don't do as I do types". They make unreasonable demands and do not care who it hurts or the destruction it creates. I had health issues and surgery, so almost a year later I wrote her myself (I did not tell him). I finally had an opportunity to speak my peace, without his interference or control and she responded. She mainly vented her anger and frustration about his family--his father's manipulation and control and his sister's manipulative behaviors. She said that she had always stood up for me (to all his relatives), something that I never knew and was unaware of. She told me that she didn't want anything to do with their hateful, cruel and malicious existence. (This was his father's 3rd wife). If she told my husband about how she stood up for me, it was information which he never shared. I do know that she was upfront with him and direct about his sister's manipulative conduct. This was something that he did tell me about. I wrote again, but she didn't respond. I let her know that if she wanted to see me alone, I would be willing to do that, but if she wanted to visit with my husband that it was between her and him and I didn't want any involvement period. I told her that I don't want to blamed--my husband can take responsibility for his own behaviors and speak for himself. I want absolutely no part in any of it. Since she didn't respond, I left it at that as I've had too much on my plate to deal with. My MIL is deceased. She died two years ago. She didn't want a relationship with me. I've never written completely about her cruelty--someday I will. It probably would be good for me to let it out. I'm glad that you had a nice visit with your SIL and your husband's ex step-mother....See MoreCompleted work! Had a difficult time with TV wall, thanks for the hel
Comments (18)The console is very nice, but I also feel that the bottom part would look nicer if the majority of space was filled with books, and that the space is too low to showcase family photos well. It would be nice to remove that basket to the left of the console since it detracts from it. The most important thing, however, is that you like how you've styled everything; it's your home....See More- 6 years ago
- 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
- 6 years ago
Related Stories

FEEL-GOOD HOME8 Time Traps to Avoid This Holiday Season
Reduce stress with these scaled-back alternatives to your grand ambitions
Full Story
MOST POPULARThe Not Naturally Organized Parent's Guide to the Holidays
This year get real about what you can and cannot handle, and remember the joys of spending time with the ones you love
Full Story
LATEST NEWS FOR PROFESSIONALSHow to Keep Your Business (and Sanity) Intact Over the Holidays
Blocking off personal days, communicating well ahead of time and prioritizing urgent client needs can help
Full Story
PRODUCT PICKSGuest Picks: Gear Up for Holiday Shopping
With Black Friday around the corner, it's time to make a game plan for holiday shopping. These tools and accessories can help
Full Story
ENTERTAININGHow to Prep for a Holiday Party in One Week
You can take care of the house, menu and music in a few days with help from this time-saving checklist
Full Story
SMALL HOMESMy Houzz: 821 Square Feet of Cozy Holiday Style Near Boston
See how first-time homeowners and DIY small-space champions update their bathroom and laundry room
Full Story
LIFEThe Holidays Are Coming! 7 Things to Do This Weekend
It’s time to stock up for festive drinks, flip through some cookbooks, and choose a great DIY gift to make this year
Full Story
ENTERTAININGHoliday Party Prep in 1 Day
Don't panic — you really can throw a great party on just 24 hours' notice with these shortcuts and time-saving tips
Full Story
ENTERTAININGHoliday Party Prep in 1 Month
Kudos for giving yourself plenty of time to prepare. Here's what to do with it, from planning to cleaning to decorating
Full Story

plllog