Procrastination - Do We Ever Learn?
ritaweeda
4 years ago
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Uptown Gal
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agoHareball
4 years agoRelated Discussions
Will I ever learn?
Comments (43)Sherry, your rose's canes actually look very healthy to me. I'm not sure what's going on, but it does look like they may have gone into a form of survival mode. It never hurts to have the soil tested.....but sometimes I wonder if OGR roses can have too much fussing over them and not enough enjoying. I don't have many planted yet....about a dozen or so, but mine have been totally neglected and have become huge and full of blooms. I haven't watered them at all this year either. They've had to survive totally on rainfall. The neglect on my part is because we're finishing up our house and I just don't have the time right now. I remarked to my husband this evening that they must like the cool weather we're having at night. He said they're getting as big as trees.(Hmmm...that would be small trees). All my roses got from me this year was some sour raw milk, coffee grounds, and yogurt or cream that had gotten past it's prime. This was all stuff from a local dairy and not pasteurized. (I don't drink store milk anymore, only the real stuff). The beneficial microbes and whatever else that was in it made them go gangbusters. I'm not saying any of this to brag or make you feel bad. The reason I'm telling you all this is because I used to fuss and fret over my roses at our last home, which took all the fun out of it, and they eventually didn't look as good. Now that my new roses in our new place have had tough love enforced on them, they've had to grow strong roots to find water, and scrounge for whatever nutrients they could then find. I've never had such beautiful roses before. I'm now convinced that an established OGR can survive just fine without supplemental irrigation and excessive amounts of fertilizer, just like Mike Shouppe says. I will say that I feel adding the soured raw dairy must have innoculated the soil around them with microbes that has benefitted them. My roses did drop leaves in August from the intense heat but they bounced back after a month or so. After that I did a very small amount of grooming to clean up any dead wood in them. I don't feel you have nematode damage. Your canes are too healthy for that. You would see sections of your bushes dying. Nor do I feel they have any kind of disease at this point. I think I would give them some Black Cow mixed with the Black Velvet mushroom compost, perhaps a very, very small dose of Rose Tone, and maybe a little water followed by a weak solution of something like Miracle Gro or Mills. I wouldn't do any more than that this late in the season. Then relax and tell them you have confidence they'll perk back up. Sandy...See MoreHow do you stop yourself from procrastinating?
Comments (13)I'm not a procrastinator, but I will admit every once in a while I feel I'll get behind in tasks, chores, and/or errands. I make a list of the things that are bugging me or I'm behind the most and mark them as HAVE TO (balance checkbook, buy cat food, etc.) or SHOULD DO...but life will go on (sort undies drawer, vac my car, etc.) The 1 thing I absolutely commit to is a deadline (say a week) and ensure I meet the date. Every day I make sure I do 1 HAVE TO, and 1 SHOULD DO...or however many tasks I need to in order to meet my deadline. Bottom line is that I stay honest with myself and follow through with what I promise to myself. Knowing that I made the commitment to myself to get things done works for me...but then I've always been one where if I announce or say I'm going to do something, I always follow through. I will never let myself or anyone down. On good days, knowing I have some energy, I may go ahead and do something extra on the list and it feels good...like I worked extra hard, or something. And, I know that I've freed myself up on another day if I actually am tired or something comes up. That's the mind game i play with myself. In my own head, there is an absolute difference between tossing around ideas & chores in my head versus making an honest commitment to get something done. It's a definite choice, not just a general blur of thoughts & ideas that keep stewing on the back burner. Marie26, I'm going to give you some tough love regarding your computer time. Maybe one day plan to shut down your computer all day and take a day off...kind of like a scheduled day off of work. Realize that there's not a whole lot going on - on the web that's going to completely change your life if you went missing for a day. Everytime you see your computer is shut down, it's an in-your-face reminder that you made a choice to move ahead with tasks and you need to stick with it. That's what I would do with myself if I found I was putting in too much web time & it was taking away with keeping my home & life moving where I want it to be....See Morewhat we've learned here
Comments (9)I think a lot of the reason SD's mom and I have reached the point we are at (which has stepped back from the sharing a hide-a-bed days, but is still okay) is because of this forum. I learned to see things more from her point of view. I was able to see all that she has missed out on (caused by her own choices and actions, but I digress) and how that could turn her into the person she is now. I think of how hard I fought to gain custody of SD and then imagine what it would be like to loose it. . . then I multiply that by 100 and imagine if I were her bio-mom. I learned that as bad a mom I may think her, there are others who make her look like Mom of the Year. I realized that I wasn't alone and not a Horrible Person for the thoughts I had about her. I was able to let go of a lot of my hatred and re-direct it as sympathy and understanding, for it is usually the miserable that aim to make others miserable. You don't see a lot of truly happy people trying to make life difficult for everyone around them. I learned that considering myself a failure because I couldn't make this woman like me was about the dumbest thing I'd ever done - if I dislike her on so many levels and for so many reasons, why in God's name would I want her as a friend?!? Truly, I owe this board credit for a bit of my newly found sanity. Now we'll see how long it lasts....See MoreWill stepson ever learn?
Comments (4)Coolmama, you so totally hit the nail on the head. My DH is totally an enabler. He is so willing to just look the other way. I don't know if it's because he just doesn't want to have to deal with negative behavior, or he doesn't want the boys to be angry with him, or maybe he just feels guilty that he left their shrew of a mother after many years of unhappiness. I'm not that great, but DH thinks I'm wonderful, as does his extended family, and that's because I had an easy act to follow. Anyway, I would not be surprised if sons were still living with us as adults. DH really is an enabler. As an example, last summer SS#1 was supposed to get a summer job to earn spending money for college. We did have him re-build a deck on part of our property, and paid him about $1,500. This was supposed to be on the side, in addition to the summer job he was supposed to get. Well, he never did get a job, so DH was paying him $8/hour to do work around the property. The work included seal coating our 300-yard driveway (there are a couple of areas that aren't done), and painting the exterior of the main house. That's another story. Son was only painting areas he could easily reach and did not have to mask off. I knew that he would not complete the whole house, so I told him it would be easier for his dad to finish if complete sections were done, versus where ever he could reach. His response? "I'm not getting paid to finish painting the house. I'm just getting 8 bucks an hour to paint." Some work ethic, huh? Plus, what incentive does he have to get any job when he's making $8/hour at home? He wouldn't net that much at most summer jobs, plus his hours were whenever he felt like getting out of bed after partying all night with his friends. Actually, if stepsons still engage in illegal behavior and are still living here much past college, I won't be ......See Moremorz8 - Washington Coast
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