I hear ya Dawn! They're screwing up traffic in downtown is what I'm talking about. This isn't on my home streets. That, they get right. It's bad enough traffic, so we don't need more to muck it up. It's right around the honky-tonks and people who are barhopping, so I bet, their judgement is a "little" off.

Dearest DawninCal,

Thank you for making me snort my diet root beer up my nose with your "go take a selfie or something" line. The carbonation shooting through my nasal cavity made me feel ALIVE! LOL!!!

For all the medical personal posters above,

I heartily agree that the ER is only for true, life-threatening emergencies but....

Recently I had a bad illness, I was guzzling water by the gallon and taking fever reducers every two to four hours and it barely put a dent in the fever. (there was no runny nose, sore throat or cough to treat) So after five days of fevers with no sign of improvement my hubby took me to the Doc-in-the-Box.

There the Physician called for an ambulance and had me taken to the ER. There I received multiple bags of saline, remember I've been drinks large amounts of water but was still dehydrated.

So occasionally a sick person has no choice but to go to the ER. :(

Hey, Amy. Nothin' like some fizz up the nose to perk a person up!

My pet

Dear shopping mom with the kid in the cart and the free range kiddie wandering around your car while you put your groceries away. Which of all of these is more important to you, your groceries or your children? Put the kids away first, please. I never wanted or had children but I would never forgive myself if I accidentally squashed one of yours.

Raye Smith, it sounds like you did have a life-threatening emergency. I don't understand why you waited five days to get help.

Boy!! There are some seriously PO'd people out there!! I am a pretty much a go with the flow sort of person so it takes a lot to get me riled (although a few of your thoughts/experiences would get me steamed up as well :-) here is my letter........

Dear Mr. Know-It-All (rarely is it a Ms. K-I-A):

First, you are not!! Unless you have a degree in the topic at hand or work in that field on a full-time basis, you have only a cursory understanding at best....like 99% of the rest of us. So please do not attempt to overwhelm us with your perceived exceptional knowledge base and that accompanying sense of superiority. It really does not exist except in your mind and your constant harping on your "vast experience" or repeating what people you know say or relying on some book as if it was the Gospel is hugely annoying. You have no idea what sort of background, education or actual practical experience in the field those you are berating and being condescending towards may have but they know and are laughing at you because of the assumptions you make! You are not always right - no one is - and acting like you are the final authority on pretty much anything is tiresome and childish, as is your endless persistence on having the last word. It is unlikely you would ever read this or recognize yourself in it if you did and I doubt you will ever change but I feel 100% better just having written this.........

Lol!

Gardengal, I used to work with a know it all. My co-workers and I started referring to him as Ike (I Know Everything). One day, our boss overheard us talking about Ike and said, "who is Ike?" We told him who we were talking about and he laughed so hard, I thought he was going to pass out. :-)

You know, I was thinking about this thread today while I was outside working to clear brush and thin trees. I find that to be a great time to think because it's mindless work.

Anyway, the conclusion I came to is that this thread is a healthy and constructive way to express our frustrations at mostly minor annoyances and to then let that frustration go. I have laughed so hard at many of the letters that have been shared here and we all know that laughter is good for the soul.

Besides that, I was thinking that all of us do annoying things and if we recognize ourselves in any of these scenarios, it could help us to become better people.

Thank you, Amy, for this fun and productive exercise!

I too think it is so productive. We can take a good look at ourselves and make sure we aren’t the sinner in any situation. I like to think I am polite and a good citizen when out and about interacting with people, but you never know what perception others have. Anyone can have a bad day or get distracted and slip up. I know I must have in some way or another. Far from perfect.

The opposite of misogyny is misandry, which is a hostility toward and tendency to belittle males. The vast, vast majority of participants in this forum are female and it plays well to some but there's too much of that going on. It says more about those expressing such views than their intended targets.

No one here has belittled males. We have described overbearing,condescending, know-it-all behavior as something that we do not appreciate. It was not directed toward men only.

I'm not seeing any posts directed at males either unless one counts my post about Ike, the old guy who drives too slowly and the one about the husband who leaves dirty dishes in the sink. The majority of the posts were pretty generic or non gender specific as far as I can see.

Dear Line Cutter:

Do you see that long line of people behind you? Yes, that one.

Those people have been patiently waiting their turn to get through customs, check out at the store, buy their movie tickets, board their plane, etc.

Your sob story about why you should get to go first isn't generating any sympathy. Just because you think you are special and should not have to wait, does not mean that the rest of us agree. Please take your rightful place at the end of the line and stop trying to insert yourself at the head of the line.

Sincerely,

Shoot, I forgot the other one...I guess it must not bug me very much! heheh!

Dear Line Cutter's older sibling,

We all realize that you are very important, and that your destination is much more urgent than anything anyone else is doing. So when you sneak up in that right lane at the stoplight thinking you'll zoom ahead and squeeze in, well, good luck with that. You know as well as we do, that lane ends in a couple of hundred yards. It ends every day. And every day you zoom to the head of the line and elbow your way in.

Because you are so important..

Dear owner of the house I rent( and have for the last 8 years) . Two years ago you said you were thinking of selling and might we like to buy. We replied to the rental people we would. Have not heard any more from you until a letter last month stating you are thinking of selling in May or June, and to please call her at a number . If you ask and get a reply, it would really be nice if you answered. That way we would know if I need to move , or if we can agree on a price. Thank you.

>Dear Line Cutter: .....

Ouch. Only because that was me today. Although I guess I didn't so much cut into line, I explained my sob story and asked whether any or the 12 or so people ahead of me would mind if I jumped to the head of the line.

Dear Bob:

We will cut you some slack since you were polite and asked if you could move to the head of the line rather than pushing your way past those who were waiting and firmly planting yourself at the head of the line.

We are also assuming that if the people in line had said no, you would have accepted their response and gone straight to the end of the line rather than being belligerent and refusing to move.

Sincerely,

Dear other pain clinic patients in a small waiting room full of people,

I wish you would have rescheduled your appointment after you quit coughing, especially the ones who never covered your mouths when you were coughing. Oh, and also the woman who was filling out paperwork right across from me with her husband, loudly saying that she just got out of the hospital with the flu as she coughed and never once covered her mouth, thanks a bunch.

While at work tonight, I started sneezing, had a scratchy throat and by the end of the shift I had a headache. I probably had a cold coming on long before I met you all in that waiting room today, but now I'm wondering if I'll get the flu too.

I did tell the nurses in the back room when they were questioning me that everyone in their waiting room was coughing. One of them asked me if there were masks out there and I told her no. She left, hopefully to put some out there, not that anyone would use them. I mean, if you don't even attempt to cover your mouth when you cough, you aren't going to put on a mask. By the time I went in the back there were about 12 other people in there and all but me and maybe 3 other people weren't coughing.

Dawn, "IKE"....too funny! There's always one.

Line cutting. I believe the only time I've done it was after arriving at LAX en route to Tahiti sans DH's luggage. The airline representative strongly suggested the luggage would not catch up with us in time for our cruise and recommended we take a cab to a nearby Target to replenish the contents of his luggage.

There was quite a long line at checkout and we were very short on time. We attempted to explain our situation to each customer and though they were clearly unhappy, we were given permission to go to the front of the line. It was awkward and we hated doing it but really had no choice other than rescheduling our connecting flight.

So,

Dear Airline Representative~~

Thank you for the strong suggestion that there was a very real possibility our luggage would not catch up with us and to go shopping. I imagine it would not have been endorsed or encouraged by your supervisor but you used your best judgement and common sense anyway.

XOXO

Grateful passenger

Woodrose, no, it wasn't life threatening and if I had to do it over again I would have stayed home. I had an overzealous physician that decided to send me to the ER, making a decision I would not have made.

My point is that sometimes when you're feeling really awful it's hard to
think straight, be realistic and chose to let an illness takes its
course. It really was a waste of time, money and ER resources.

Dear Line-Cutter’s Cousin,

in a cafeteria-style restaurant where you are in line to order food, please don’t send one of your kids or one of your able-bodied party to hold a table while you wait in line to order. Just wait like everyone else for a table to open up after you have ordered your food. I promise it will work out in proper order and you will get a table. It forces those of us who do wait to stand and wait for a table to open up while your sentry is still sitting at an empty table.

OH OH DawninCal's post way up thread made me wonder how many letters I could be the recipient of from a stranger.

OutsidePlaying's letter could be sent to me. When my kids were young that is something I would have done in order to give them something to do and prevent a meltdown. Now, I wouldn't do it and I promise to not do it again.

Sorry (she says sheepishly, head hanging)

Dear senior citizen in the grocery store during the noon hour:

Why in blue blazes are you in the grocery store anytime near the noon hour? Don't you know that's the busiest time in the store? That working people try to jam in multiple errands during that time (like pick up a loaf of bread, get their drycleaning, fill up the car with gas, etc.) and yet still find time to grab a sandwich and then get back to work on time? What were you doing at 8:54 a.m. this morning when most people are working and the grocery store was virtually empty? Calling all your senior-citizen-friends and arranging a chat-a-thon in the dairy aisle for straight-up-noon, making sure to gather the optimal number of shopping carts for full lane blockage? C'mon! Get a clue!

Dear next-door neighbor with the pooping dog:

Thanks for letting your dog outside to do her business. The fifteen minutes you leave her outside - with no supervision - is plenty of time for her to leave a steaming pile in my front yard, chase away the cardinals feeding under my sunflower feeder, stand in my yard and bark endlessly at me, a squirrel, a leaf, or an imaginary Tyrannosaurus Rex, and, if my DH has forgotten to close the garage door when he left, wander in there to see if there's any trash that needs spreading around.

Perhaps, though, you are aware of the mischief your dog gets into because you never seem surprised at the dog piles that mysteriously appear right beside your driveway, near the driver's side door of your car. I guess you feel that's the price you pay for having a dog. And I'm happy too, imagining that sticky-poo on your shoes and hopefully inside your car.

Dear senior citizen in the grocery store during the noon hour:

Why in blue blazes are you in the grocery store anytime near the noon hour? Don't you know that's the busiest time in the store? That working people try to jam in multiple errands during that time (like pick up a loaf of bread, get their drycleaning, fill up the car with gas, etc.) and yet still find time to grab a sandwich and then get back to work on time? What were you doing at 8:54 a.m. this morning when most people are working and the grocery store was virtually empty? Calling all your senior-citizen-friends and arranging a chat-a-thon in the dairy aisle for straight-up-noon, making sure to gather the optimal number of shopping carts for full lane blockage? C'mon! Get a clue!

Once upon a time, a very elderly man became too frail to live on his own so he went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and his four-year-old grandson.

The old man’s hands were shaky, his eyesight was blurred, and he was very unsteady on his feet. The family ate together at the table but the elderly grandfather’s trembling hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law (who had busy lives and were often tired by dinner time) became more and more irritated with the mess. ‘We already have so much on our plate with our business and our family. We must do something about father as he’s just creating more work and hassle for us’ said the son. ‘I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.’

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner together. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was now served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the overworked and irritated couple had for him were sharp criticisms when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, ‘What are you making?’ Just as sweetly, the boy responded, ‘Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.’ The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no words were spoken between them they both had the realisation that they were teaching their son indifference and harshness instead of kindness and compassion.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

The next day they decided to simplify their lives a little, so they had the time to focus on family, on love and on what mattered most.

Every one of us can probably relate to this story. There are times when we behave like the parents did and we choose convenience over compassion. There are times when we are harsh or impatient because we are ‘too busy’ to listen, to be kind, to be patient. Or times when it’s just too inconvenient to live our values so we take actions that seem easy in the moment but lead to disharmony or suffering in the future.

The art of mindful living involves a conscious effort to live a life that’s true to us. A life in alignment with our values…and maybe the true test of how mindful a person is, is how they act when nobody is looking – or when the only one who is looking is our grandparents, the check-out lady, our partner, the janitor or our children.

Are there ways that you have been overlooking what matters most in your life? If so what could you do today to change things?

One final thought on this story – we don’t need to judge ourselves harshly when we find ourselves off course. It’s all part of being human. Mindful living is not a perfection project and this is not about always being flawless. We can be compassionate with ourselves when we make mistakes along the way and like the parents in this story, we can then renew our intention to live with more compassion, with awareness, authenticity and with our inner compass set to true north.

I'm 67 and I'll shop when I have the time between visiting my elderly mother, helping out my niece and the other myriad things that as a decrepit senior I have to do,

When I see "seniors" or anyone who is less able than I am anywhere, whether it be the grocery store or on the sidewalk or the coffee shop I always think, someday that will be me and I hope to God that someone will be gracious enough to give me some space and a smile.

I always wonder why those moms with toddlers can't do their shopping when their kids are down for the night. And that was sarcasm.

Hmmmmm........didn't realize that seniors were restricted as to what times they should be visiting the grocery store or running errands!! And in fact, I find it rather demeaning that anyone would think that most seniors are not able to function on a perfectly normal basis and able to conduct their affairs or run their errands any time they like or is convenient for them, just like anyone else.

What I do at 8:45 in the morning is my business and I fail to understand why I should conduct my life according to someone else's timetable!!

I tend to do my grocery shopping during the day through the week and not on weekends. Whether it's at 10:45 or 12:30, it doesn't matter, it's whatever time I feel like going.

Last week we had another hit of winter, snowsqualls, accumulation etc.

To the drivers who insist on buying an SUV, pickup etc, clean the snow off the roof of the vehicle! If it's too high for you to reach, open the damned door and stand inside. I don't need chunks of icy snow flying off the roof of your vehicle.

Also, there are headlights that you can turn on to better see you. Far too many people rely on just their Daytime Running Lights, they don't turn on your rear lights.

Yeah....I'm a senior....and now I'm the business owner! Oh....I look like I'm dressed to do construction or just too poor to afford to wear designer duds.....ha ha Get a clue! I hope when YOUR my age you can afford to buy groceries, much less be out at noon doing it.

The rants about pedestrians in the parking lots and the dangers is real. I think, though, it is more about really bad design of the parking lots that is at fault. I never understood why it is necessary to have vehicle traffic flowing across the front of the store like so many do. Nay, as most do. It would make better sense to have pedestrian aisles between the rows of parked cars and all of the pedestrian aisles empty into the front entrance of the store where there is NOT a flow of traffic. Driving in front of a WM or Target or Costco with all of the customers in and out and walking straight across the line of traffic is a really bad idea that I try to avoid as a driver. I am surprised that more accidents don't happen.

Some provision could be made for dropping off and for handicapped access.

Of particular dysfunction is the local Costco situation. People are coming and going into Costco in great numbers and there is street traffic both entering and exiting across the very same space as people are walking between the moving cars to get to their own cars. I don't know how often a car and a body meet one another, but I do know that I have been in the store one time when there was someone hit and there were ambulances there and I know of people who have had their cars hit by other cars right there. Surprising that it is such a dangerous situation that just seems to continue.

It is not all the fault of the pedestrians who are expecting a little safer passage than they actually have. People do stupid things, but I think it is more about the fact that the design of the parking doesn't accommodate the natural flow of pedestrians and the foibles of human nature.

My take on pedestrians and parking lots is that drivers tend to think they are still on the road and drive much too fast for the conditions. Of course there are going to be pedestrians present and drivers need to be aware of that all the time. Once you turn into the lot, slow down and pay attention!! As a pedestrian, I am looking out for you and trying to avoid so give me the same courtesy by not acting like you are in the Indianapolis 500 with your sole focus that most convenient parking space!

My local grocery - a massive store with a massive parking lot - attempts to alleviate the situation by installing large zebra striped speed bumps to slow cars down and installing flexible plastic posts between the lanes to designate pedestrian walkways.

little bug, your attitude towards senior is most ungracious. . Maybe you need to reflect on the anxiety that you feel during your lunch hour and try to make some changes in your lifestyle that you are not in store at that time of day anxiously fretting and becoming aggravated. Your comment seems to reflect more your own anxiety than it does on the actions of others.

You can't change the world. You can only change your reaction to it.

Dear fellow shoppers,

I enjoy shopping and I surely hope you do too. Grocery carts are huge these days, aren't they? Sometimes I see folks having trouble navigating the aisles. Might I suggest staying either right or left? Perhaps it is best to navigate as if the aisle were a two-lane roadway and you are in your car. There is no center lane. There is no center " parking" lane. I too often enjoy chatting occasionally with others while shopping. Parking both carts in the center of the aisle in a diagonal fashion is blocking traffic, can you not see that? I truly don't believe I am behaving rudely when I say excuse me to try and get past you. You needn't glare at me. I clearly do recognize the nature of the problem already.

Now, I am a mother and Grandmother. I know that even in the nicest of families, children can mis-behave. I would truly appreciate it if parents would stop their children from running though the aisles like it is an Olympic competition and also requires screaming at the top of their lungs. Recently a child slammed into my stopped cart as they flew around a corner at top speed while being chased by another child. Only when the child nearly fell to the floor did the parent notice them. Or me. I did remind them that my cart was stopped. Not in motion. It took a minute to sink in.

Mostly, do not sneeze or cough on me. Ever. I might snap!

I will let someone in line go before me. Especially if they have a good reason, such as the folks trying to buy quickly at Target to catch that flight.

I will let those with small hyper children go before me too.

After all, I am a senior citizen and I am not rushed, almost, ever. I have the time to stand aside and observe and watch the world go by.

It is but a small gesture and it doesn't happen all the time. Most people don't cut into the line, but there are some who are aggressive.

Maybe there should be a sign at the entrance to parking lots that pedestrians are sharing the roadways so drive with caution. I actually don't remember seeing posted speed limits in them either. A grocery store not too far from me has put stop signs in their parking lot at various intersections and perhaps that was done to address this issue. It's just a regular grocery store parking lot with no other retail.

In sad news, in a small community about 45 minutes from me a 2-year old toddler and her mother were hit by a car in a grocery store parking lot last weekend. The toddler died. It's hit the small community extremely hard.

Dear Amylou321, please remember that pedestrians have the right of way....Even when they are walking across the parking lot and in front of your car (or SUV).

Dear sedona16,

Please read my letter thoroughly before attempting to school me. I acknowledged that clearly.

In fact, depending on state law and where an accident takes place, there are times when pedestrians do not have the right of way (they do at marked crosswalks and mostly always in parking lots) even though many states also have statutory language that requires vehicle drivers to exercise due care to avoid hitting a pedestrian. This analysis comes up mostly where there has been an accident and the pedestrian has been injured and is trying to collect compensation for damages.

Whether a pedestrian has the right of way or not, the law of gross tonnage prevails. Being right while being dead or injured is a cold comfort.

"You can be dead right"

(Public service announcement I remembered from long ago).

Just catching up on this thread. Wowzw, the ”letter” to senior citizens is downright nasty. Hope the world is kinder to you when (and if) you are older.

The right of way remarks reminded me of this poem.

This is a story of John O'Day
Who died maintaining his right of way
He was right, dead right, as he sailed along
But he's just as dead as if he were wrong.

Most people are well aware of the fact that a pedestrian has the right of way, but if parking lots were reconfigured to more effectively separate them, it would be less of an issue.

You have to remember, also, that many drivers are looking at that traffic and pedestrians can get overlooked. It is also true that pedestrians have a responsibility to watch and acknowledge that the driver of the car knows that they are there. In a busy parking lot like the one at my local Costco it is like a game of chance for both pedestrian and driver to dodge one another, like some sort of perverse video game. I just cannot, for the life of me, understand why this is not a very prominent and important public safety issue or that a company with the deep pockets of Costco would allow this liability. I never approach the store through one of those avenues. There are other ways into the parking lot at the back where there is not a concentrated number of people pushing small mountains of groceries.

It happened to me just the other day that I was at a stop sign leaving a parking lot. I was at a four way stop and looking for my turn to pull away when my husband warned me to stop. There was a small man in a little low motor chair who was about to cross in front of my car. He was small, low profiled and dressed all in dark colors and I really just did not see him at all. He blended in to the rest of the landscape like a tree trunk amongst the rest of the leafless tree trunks. Shudder!!!

People do pull around in a parking lot at unsafe speeds, often. I go very slowly in a parking lot and also when backing out. Even with a back up camera you never know when a small child might run across or someone is speeding around the corner. People will criticize for this and say that I drive like an old person. Maybe that is true because life has taught me a few lessons in hubris and caution.

Accidents happen and sometimes they are simply the chaos of the universe at work.

To the poster talking about people parking their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle. Once, again, I am without fault in this. Now, don't laugh. (Well, Ok, maybe laugh a little bit. ). Seriously, if you find others at fault for this, try not to commit the same error. I really do try to be considerate and NOT do this. Some people seem to not give any thought to it at all.

Still, even though I am clearly a superior person who does not speed in parking lots or block the store aisle there are times when things happen, as I almost overlooked that small man in the motor chair.

And, of course, I am NOT a superior person and not without fault. Just kidding.

dallasannie, I use a motor chair or as I call it, a handicapped scooter. Because of having that luxury, I don't really need to use a parking space dedicated for the handicapped and sometimes I feel it is wrong. But my DH insists, because of being so easily missed by drivers due to my lower position in their view, I do. The closer I am to my destination the less chance I have to being run over.

This person was really out of my radar to the point where he just did not register. I can't quit mulling it over, the "what ifs". Shudder!

I think that it would be to his advantage to have some sort of higher profile item that would raise his visibility up, like some sort of a small bright flag. Maybe it could be seen as insulting or somewhat negative towards him, but it is a bit like that about the right of way. Would he rather be flagged or dead? In this case, he had to navigate across four lanes of stopped traffic and each of them was going a different direction and each driver is watching each other driver, not the diminutive figure in the motor chair.. So many of the crossings put even sure footed folks in danger. This person was at a definite disadvantage and highly vulnerable.

Myself, I make sure to make eye contact with the driver before crossing.

Accidents between pedestrians and drivers are an active discussion around here. It is a large metropolitan area with a lot of both. Sure it is a topic in many places.

In the burbs where the car culture dominates, both walking and biking are being encouraged as alternatives. The mix of pedestrians, bikes, and heavy traffic is a dangerous one that takes a toll.

I had a co-worker several years ago who was ranting about the number of Seniors shopping during her lunch hour, which was 11 - noon. She went on and on, about why they were there at THAT time, they should pick their times better so as not to slow down workers who had limited time. I laughed and laughed ... and told her, when I retire, you think I'm going to be a clock watcher and "time" my shopping for all the various lunch periods out there? Get over yourself!!!

I will say, when it comes to doctor visits, I leave it up to the scheduler when my appointments are so they can better accommodate people who work and want to have the first or last appointments of the day.

dallasannie -- Thank you for mentioning something I had never considered! I'm going to try accessing our Costco via the far end of the parking lot, which is near the gasoline pumps at our local store.

This reminded me.....I'm going to buy "Scram" for ALL the dog walkers that let their dogs do their business in front of my driveway. :0)

dallasannie -- if your mind keeps returning to the scary situation, think of all the good you did by sharing your experience here. Now you've got dozen and dozens of drivers who will give a second & third look, and maybe a couple people will take action so they can be seen more easily. Replace the bad thoughts with the good. Thanks.