Mom: Thanks and I'll miss you.

I would say I love you and also thanks for coming to visit me in my dreams.

I miss you sooooooo much.

Each of my parents was alert but knew their days were limited as their deaths approached and we knew that as well. I think more important than family having its say was for them to have their say. I have the best possible memories of those experiences. Yes, I had a chance to have my say too.

Both they and I (and other family members) felt the bases were covered and nothing was left unsaid as far as I'm concerned.

Sorry for the long answer, but I think we all found resolution at the time. Nothing left to say.

I love you and wish I could have done more.

I'm glad you gave me existence. Too bad you didn't know how to love and raise me. And I'm still angry with you about what you did to us. But trying every day not to let that rule my life.

Thanks Dad.

My dad raised his four daughters to be independent and strong and supported us through thick and thin.

So grateful for loving parents. They taught me watching their loving and kind ways. Always supporting me in any venture I would undertake. Dad's mother died the day he was born,and mother watched her mother die at very young age. Mother was only 6 when her mother died. It amazed me growing up that each of my parents grew up with only one parent. I was with both when they died and loved them so very much. They lived into their late nineties and we were so blest as a family. We were a farming family and life was long days working on the farm but we were always together . After being in the field we would come in and sit around the old fireplace at night and talk together. This all started in the 1930's so it was a different time in life. Never had a clue that we were poor, we were very rich in loving family. I can still see mother and daddy and all of us praying on our knees around the bed, being thankful for a good day. They knew we were thankful for our life, rich with blessings. Thanks for the memories of my childhood.

Mine are both 84. Just saw them yesterday at my Uncles funeral. I have little or nothing to say to them, and that's on them so not much I can do about that.

I would say today what I said in their final days years ago. Thank you for love and guidance throughout my life.

I would say, "I am so sorry for your hard early life, and I understand why

saying "I love you" was so very hard for you. Thank you for "getting it "

by the time the Grandchildren came along".

Just I love you.

Sue

To Mom: Everyone says "hi"... <- that's an inside joke ... it would make us both laugh. Our family was lucky in that she was mentally sharp as her death approached, so we were able to speak love and forgiveness, for everything and for ever. It's a comfort.

I still have my Dad, he's well on his way into Alzheimer's. There's no telling yet how mentally present or gone he'll be at the end. I see him a couple times a week, and strive to leave him with the feeling that he's safe and I've enjoyed his company -- which is true, and all that he really needs to know.

To my mom...Thank you. I so appreciate all you did for me and am sorry I never told you how proud I am of you, all you did and all you accomplished. I miss you so much!

To my dad...

...

...it's too painful for me to post here.

Dear Mom and Dad,

You had so little but gave me so much.

Thank you for being the person who loved more than anyone else could...

I would say thank you...I know you did the best you could.

I would say to both.....I know you did the best you could with what you had at the time.

My years with my parents were difficult. I’ve made peace with it.

To Mom I would say Thank You for being a good Mom. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you in any way and I miss you so much.

To my Dad I would say thank you for not beating us, not molesting us or coming home drunk but you could have and should have been a better father. You never played with us, never went to my brother's games and he needed you to do that. You never showed us any love and and we all grew up a little damaged in some way because if that, especially your son. Why?

My dad suffered all his adult life with crippling rhumatoid arthritis. I don't remember him not limping. He had a wicked, sharp sense of humor. . My mom died in my arms from an asthma attack. The only thing that mattered to her was her kids and grandkids. They were fantastic parents. I would tell them look at this fab family you two started. I LOVE you.

To my mom, I’d say open your eyes while I put your drops in, which is what I say to her every day. To my dad I’d say what were you thinking?? I’d also say thanks for making lots of money because it is coming in handy now.

To my Dad--I love you so much, thanks for being a good example for our family--honorable, honest, kind, hardworking & generous.

I lost my Dad in the fall of 2018 at age 92. It was sudden & unexpected. I think of him every day, and miss him terribly.

I would thank them for their ability to give us all the love, devotion, time and the tons of laughter and fun we had in our home. They were meant for each other and gave us all great confidence that we could do whatever we wanted and be successful. All seven children succeeded in life and we are each other's best friends. We were truly blessed. Our lives were full of happiness and joy.

First off I'd wish her a happy birthday! Then I'd tell Mom how much I loved her and what a great job she did raising my brother and I.

I'd tease her about the time hubby and I, she and her sweetie were in the car going to visit my brother; she turned to me and said "What was the name of that book I was going to tell you about?". Dead serious. Funny as heck!

I am glad to see so many here had good and loving parents.

My parents didn't have easy lives and that showed in their parenting, although they did the best they could under the circumstances. I received many nontangible gifts from them, for example, my dad's storytelling contributed to my love of reading and my mother's devotion to home cooking made me appreciate good food. But we differed in so many ways that it made genuine communication difficult.

This is much too complicated to consider adding to at any depth ;0) My dad passed when I was 16 so it would be a lifetime of conversations. My mother is living and I speak to her almost daily, drive 135 miles to see her most weeks - although I do occasionally skip a week when my sister can go. I try to keep conversations with her simple and light - and by tomorrow she may not remember what we've talked about anyway. But I can always get a smile from her and end every call or visit with 'I love you'.

Somehow the only person in the family whose name she hasn't become momentarily confused over or forgotten is my DH. I think it took her years to even like him, now he's her rock and if he's dropped me at the lobby and parking while I go up to her senior apartment alone, she's disappointed to think he may not have come that day.

To my mom, I would say, sorry I didn't make that last phone call. To my dad, I wish I had spoken to you on your last birthday. Both my parents died under the same circumstances one year apart. Both were in Sicily for the winter and my dad died on his 75 birthday. My mom came back to Canada that spring and left again in the winter to go back and she died 6 days after arriving in Sicily.

I have nothing to say to my father, who left my mother and two-year-old me for his secretary/mistress and started another family. He would sometimes give me grandiose gifts -- a new car when I was 16 -- a trip to Europe -- but he never paid his child support or alimony. He was a weak man and a skirt-chaser like his own father.

I would beg forgiveness from my dear mother. She loved me unconditionally; supported me and her widowed mother; and died too young at 72. I was 37 and overwhelmed by her illness. As I grew older, I realized that I was too immature to understand how lonely she must have been, despite a full time career and many loving friends. I deeply regret the times I was 'too busy to talk long' during the years our son was little. I wish I'd spent more time with her then and especially when she was ill. What I'd give to have the chance today!

My parents were spoiled, narcissistic beings that never should have been allowed to breed. At my current age of 80, I still can't find any saving graces for either of them. They continually took from life and in that process, did the very best they could do to ruin the lives of the three children who managed to survive. As adults, we all went our separate ways despite their interference and succeeded in our chosen fields but our lives could have been so much more. We could have been closely knit, loving and supportive of one another but nothing ever survived in the poisoned soil those two created. To their dying days they managed to divide and annihilate simply for the joy of doing it.

For those of you above who have/had warm, loving familial relationships...never doubt how fortunate you are and/or were. You are/were blessed.

Today is the 10th anniversary of my Mother's passing...I do so miss her.

I used to fantasize about what I'd say to my mother upon her deathbed. Then I had the opportunity and couldn't do it. She was an evil narcissist.

To my dad I'd ask why he had to be so honorable as to stay with her, becoming a shell of the man he once was.

To those of you with warm memories of your parents, I envy you. I have no idea what that is like. I heard someone once say that you have two opportunities in life to have warm child/parent relationships, the second being with your own children. Fortunately, I did get the latter and am beyond grateful for that.

Hi Mom! you gave me quite a jolt showing up after all these years.

My heart goes out to all of you who had terrible parents and poisoned childhoods. I know it happens, I've seen it, but those of us who were lucky have trouble imagining it.

My Dad's birthday is today, he would have been 93. He knew I loved him, I told him many times. He was a generous, Loving and kind man to many. His funeral attendance was packed with people he touched in his lifetime. My dad could fix anything and I mean anything, very talented man. I miss him dearly. Mom is still with us but going down hill.

One of the last conversations I had with my mama when she was in the hospital: she said, “mama loves you littlebug,” and without thinking I said, “mama loves you too.” ( I refer to myself as mama to my kids so I actually said the same thing right back to her that she said to me.)

Here’s what I should have said: “I’m sorry mama that I didn’t appreciate what you did for me.” 😢

To my Dad...

You left us too early. It's so unfair. I miss you terribly. You didn't leave in a way though-I see you everywhere. Even in myself. Part of you that I see in myself-is one of the parts that keeps me going. Your shining upon this world was incredible-and incredible, it stays. Sorry I went away. It played a role. I didn't connect it back then. Sorry I didn't know what to say on that horrible day, when that song was playing and I saw you sobbing for the first and last time. You were dying. Sorry I didnt make it on time to the hospital. I missed it by half an hour..

Yeah..it's too painful.

To my Mom. I understand you much better now. It was really overwhelming. You had to choose, it was a hard choice to make, and you were awfully alone in that. In any case-I survived, others might not, back then. I had to take a different shape-but I stayed alive.

You know that I'll do everything to be there more with you. I'm coming. It might kill me, but I'm coming still. I am, too, overwhelmed. And lonely in my choices.

I would thank them for giving me (and my siblings) such a good foundation in life, and tell them that I love them dearly. Mom died when I was 12 and Dad died when I was 20.

Both my parents lived through terrible times in pre-war Europe. They both luckily came over to the US just before the US entered the war. However, much of their parenting style was built on keeping secrets. They never wanted to talk about their past and never were warm and loving. Both my sister (who reads GW) and I had difficult, stingy childhoods. No praise, no comfort, nothing extra. We weren't abused, but we never felt warmly loved. It has affected us to this day, as we strive to be unlike them.

I wish I could say again, what I said the last time I saw my dad: “See you tomorrow.” And I wish it were true.

Mom and I did get to talk the night before she passed. I am so glad I was there for her especially that night. She had cancer that had metastised through her upper body, and it was hard for her to talk. Cancer had gone into her rib bones. But she insisted. I don't recall actual words at this point, but it was a very loving, and a two-way giving, set of moments that I'll value forever. Yes, I remember the context and meanings, if not the words.

Dad passed from dementia, and I lived halfway across the country from him. I regret that it was not possible to have the same sort of conversation with him when I could visit. I think I'd have talked about the older things, things he enjoyed doing with me when I was a child - and tell him how much I appreciated the hiking and the fishing and the other tom-boyish things he loved to do with me, his daughter. It has probably influenced my post-retirement path, after all.

I would have also let him know (I didn't know it bothered him until later) that no, I didn't want to join my brother in the same business Dad had been in. I really WANTED to be a scientist, and certainly never felt left out. He apparently feared I would have wished to have been a part of what my brother ended up joining him to do (especially since it did end up paying more) - I would have wanted to assure him that I was doing fine in research, and that I enjoyed it.

My Dad passed 20 years ago this Sunday at 80. I’d say, Thank you Dad for being such a kind, gentle man. I love and miss you every day and can still hear your soft voice.

My Mom passed 8 years later. They both were in the hospital at the same time when my Dad passed. Six days before that we were told my Dad only had a few days. My Mom has a massive stroke the next day which left her in a wheelchair unable to talk for the next 8 years. It was a broken heart. We had to tell him about her and then tell her when Dad died. She wasn’t able to attend his funeral. To my Mom I would say, Sorry I didn’t appreciate you as much as I should have. You’ll be glad to know I’ve turned out just like you, which I am grateful for.

I hear so many of you.

I think that's my issue. I don't want to end on a bad note (even if they were the biggest idiot), or I've said it all. I'm mad and I'm done. I want them to say what they need to say, and assure them, some, they did what they wanted. I'm happy for some and totally pissed at other stuff. It sucks, doesn't it?

I REALLY hear you. And want to hug you

rob, I think I have a hint of what you have in mind and I hope you found the range of comments useful and supportive.

Lest you think I've lived my life in Rainbow Land, my relationship with the longer living parent became troubled after my first parent died. They'd remained married throughout but one had a wonderful and loving personality and the other didn't. With the second near death, those who wanted to make the effort to do so came to have their say. Many didn't bother, bridges had been burned. I was polite, had my say respectfully, and when the tirade began, I left and didn't return. Yes, my memory of doing so is indeed fond and what happened was entirely appropriate.

I'm late into this conversation; both my parents died young and unexpected. I would say THANK YOU mom and dad for giving 3 girls a Beaver Cleaver life. My dad was a gentleman through out; I never understood (till I was older) why he couldn't like the guys I chose to go out with. (In hind sight, YUCK). Mom was a strong woman with a career and a home maker. She always made us help a little, but her mantra was that it wasn't our fault she had to work full time, and we weren't there to run the home. They were both totally respected in the community and were such excellent role models. I miss them dearly.

Life is freaking hard.

I miss both my parents and they're both still alive. I love them both. It is so hard.

To my dad.... here’s the 500 bucks I owed you from ago. Sorry that didn’t happen sooner. You have a wonderful great-grandchild of blood from another child of yours. Can I pick your brains on family medical history please? Are my cousins still alive, are their children and grandchildren ok medically?

Thank you for teaching me cartography, it’s an excellent skill I rely on often. Thank you for teaching me to love my country for good and bad, plenty and dearth. And what to know and why and when to stand up and say nope or yes to the big G. You always were a smart and straight clever bast... well. You might smile to know I served my country, though years later and maybe not in the way you hoped for when I was a kid.

And if we still got some time... what the actual eff happened there when we were kids, and things went sideways and how things fell apart and moved on? We all adults now, I want your side of things.

I can’t say I really miss you dad, the time for that for both of us passed decades ago. You knew that years before I did. But I’ve always valued your words and would like to hear what you have to say this one last time. I’d owe ya another 500 for the time, but It would be worth it.

To my Dad, I miss you greatly and there's not a day that passes that I don't think of you. My regret is that you weren't able to be a part of your grandchildren's lives. Telling them stories about you just isn't the same.