I feel the same way about my husband's exwife. I am custodial stepmom of 3 chlldren. My husband has always had custody because the exwife decided one day she no longer wanted to be married or a full-time mother. Before I came along she constantly dumped 99% of her time on my husband, he of course never said no, she had full control of her old household only she lived in a differnt place and had her own life. It was a very unhealthy situation. My husband just never stood up to her, he struggled to keep a full-time job and take care of 3 children. I give him tremendous credit because many men in his situation would not be able to take on that responsibilty. Well, then I come along, we get married and all of a sudden she begins to take a deeper interest. Mainly because I would not allow her to control my household and my husband began saying "no", She always used us as her babysitter, whether it was a work meeting, an exerecise class or a European vacation. She has been nothing but a major PIA, she wouldn't pay child support when my husband enforced the order she opened a full blown custody case, suing us for full custody because she did not want to financially support her children. We also have a screwed up schedule. During the school the chldren visit their mother Mon&Tues 4-8pm with alternating weekends. During the summer they visit her Mon-Wed 4-8pm with alternating weekends. The exwife wanted some crazy, they live with her 3days one week, then us 4days, and the next week it was the reverse. Mind you, she only had a 2bedroom condo. All three children sleep in the same bedroom. 2 girls 13&10 and a 8yr old boy. The master had enough sense to reconize that the living arrangemnents were not appropriate and would not grant anymore overnight visits except for the already standing 2 weekends a month. The schedule is crazy. The exwife is crazy. She teaches the children it is ok to lie to us. She is NOT supportative of myself or my husband. She has harrassed us to the point that she is not allowed on our property, she can not contact us by phone, she may only communicate via email, unless it is an emergency related to that day's schedule, then she may leave a message on our cell phone. She would call my husband at work and pull him out of meetings with the CEO of the company for some nonsense question. HE would get numerous calls on a daily basis. I never saw 2 divorced people talk on a daily basis. We have insulated ourselves as much as possible but everyday there is some new issue. She never returns clothes that the kids wear over there, one day she sent my ss home with no shoes on. She won't take the kids to baseball games and then tells them we did not give her the information. I could go on and on. But your words say it best I HATE HER!!!!! If I had hindsight my posting would be alot differnt. I would be like that one woman who used to be involved with a man with children. Trying being involved with a man who has custody of his children. The rewards have been few and far between. I have lived this from the first day I moved to where my husband lives (I moved from a different state). So the entire two years of my marriage have been filled with this crap. My husband's relationship with his children has also suffered terribly. I was divorced for 11yrs before I remarried and never experienced one ounce of the trouble I have in this life, and it isn't even my divorce. The best advice I can give you is stand your ground. Say NO, she is responsible for her custodial time. It took my husband a long time to be able to say no, it is very easy for me. I know that he is still uncomfortable with saying no but I help him, Remember you can't let her control your life. Good luck, God Bless. I understand, it's one hell of a way to live.

Caroline - no worries about ticking me off - I agree. DH and I got ours when I was pregnant and commuting long distances. Then we stopped carrying them until around 6 years ago. We started again so that the kids school would have an emergency # if we had to go out of town during the school day. I almost NEVER talk on mine and think it is mostly another thing to throw my money at. Half the time I don't even answer the land line. I love the freedom of not having to talk on the phone if I don't want to. I definitely have days where I just need to disconnect from everyone. It bothers me so much to see and hear everyone around me gabbing on the phone all the time, HANG UP, try communicating with a little eye contact for a change. Get to know the people around you. Or at LEAST use a little discretion. I see kids walking home from school in groups all talking on the phone. Yes I agree they are mostly toys. They are a status symbol just like what shoes you wear or if you have a MySpace page. They are a way to judge importance and measure worth, I see it all the time. And hear it too everytime my son says "but mom my phone doesn't play songs or take pictures, and everyone is telling me my phone sucks and I should get the new ---- phone." At our small town baseball and football games (where I spend most of my time) I regularly watch people call from one bleacher to the other. GET UP and walk over and have an actual conversation. Ok, now I'm ranting. I do have issues. LOL!

We drove mom crazy with this one: "So get yourself all set, tune up your TV set for Huck-le-ber-ry Hound!" Which we heard as "TURN up your TV set", so we'd crank up the volume. Allllll the way up. Mom hollered from the other room "that's not what they're saying!" Mind you, I forgot to schedule my son's appointment with his surgeon, but I remember the words to an early 60s cartoon theme song. Sigh. Maybe I should just move in down the hall from Mom and Dad now.

When someone can't take the time to even chop a lettuce up for a salad or worse need to order in from one of these companies who deliver meals and on a sliding scale (downward) hit one of the greasy spoon fast food places a number of times a week ........really does anyone wonder at all that these young folks don't know how cope ? I would rather be old fashioned I guess. I somewhat take offense to this and it doesn't really even apply to my family. Signet, you sound surprisingly like another poster here. I'm really not sure why some of you come here as most of us here have posted together for years and have come to "know" and support each other. Not to bash each other. You really have no way of knowing why someone chooses "shortcuts" in the kitchen. There are some here who still have children at home. Those children may have activities such as sports, music lessons, etc. etc. etc. Spouses sometimes work different shifts which make sitting down to dinner together hard. Some here have elderly parents they are helping with, in addition to their own family and home. So sometimes, in order to get a meal on the table, to sit down together, shortcuts are taken. Also, while I have come to love cooking, I remember working, before I went part-time, a long day, a 30 minute drive to/from work. When I got home, dinner was first on my mind, but I rarely felt like cooking a delish, fresh from scratch, full course meal. So I can completely understand why some convenience items help people out. I'm not sure what cooking has to do with how anyone copes??? Sometimes old fashioned is good, most times an open mind is better.