I'm So Behind Everyone Else On This Thing With The Color Gray
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So bummed... so I'm off to LA
Comments (11)You are actually pretty close (in LA terms) to a few places I was going to suggest. First, the King Tut exhibition is going on in the LA County Museum of Art. Being in LA, you should purchase your tickets in advance. More info is here. It is pretty close to the convention center from what I remember. A must see for you is the J Paul Getty Museum. Again, get tickets in advance. It's a little north of where the 405 and 10 meet--1/2 hour or so drive from where you are. More info here. Of course, you are also right next to Universal Studios if you are that type. Hollyweird is also nearby should you have the urge. As for garden type stuff, Huntington gardens should be fairly close to you. More info here and you should know the Getty Museum also has an adjoining garden. What else? The Walt Disney Concert Hall is a really cool building and always has something going on. It is downtown also. Old town Pasadena is also pretty cool and close. The La Brea Tar pits aren't too far either. Of course, if you get bored you can drive through Beverly Hills towards Santa Monica and go to the beach. That's all off off of the top of my head. It depends on what you like to do. Enjoy your trip--I will be there this weekend. I will see if I can remember any other stuff while I am there....See MoreWANTED: Have lilac, but nothing else. Need so many things...
Comments (20)Wow, bejoy2, I'm sorry I missed you too, I'm not sure how we did but as another poster said, maybe we need name tags or labels. I had no idea how the plant swap is done, so I was pretty shy and wasn't sure who to introduce myself to. We wandered around for maybe an hour and a half, visiting with people and trying to get them to take our cookies. We were given so many plants that I'm not sure we could have fit much more in the car! Ok, that's not really true, I would have kept them in my lap if I had to. (grin) I was soaking wet anyway. Thanks for thinking of me, and offering to save things for me! I am so grateful for everyone's generosity and I hope the lilacs are useful to someone. We will bring more next time, and more sweets or something healthy even. I was sorry the humidity was so hard on the cookies! I hope they didn't get too limp. I have lots of things that I do remember the names of, and lots that I don't. Do any of you have ideas for how to deal with that? Like a grease pencil or something that will will write on pots in pouring rain & not wash off for a long time? Or a way to make tags on the spot? What pens do you like? What labeling devices? It seems like a grease pencil & plastic bags might have worked for all the stuff not in pots, but we would have needed an awful lot of bags, and it would be a shame to waste them. Maybe the stick-type labels, & rubber bands? Any thoughts? Thanks again. Laura...See MoreHow to stay organized when everyone else isn't.
Comments (18)I think you can make some distinctions between "organizing" and simple daily cleanup that you might do as part of living in a family--doing the dishes, putting away laundry and so forth. --I know they're related in the sense that underlying order helps with maintenance and cleanup, but that's something for your own home; really, you don't need to clean out the attic in your parents' home or throw out their plastic containers. So it is definitely not healthy going into drawers and closets in attempt to "organize"--these actions are part of the parent-parent-child power struggle and you are seeing yourself in the wrong role. You might try a family meeting, but that could be hard without a neutral party such as a family counselor--it would be again, the 21-yr old being the family/marriage counselor. It could be done if you were able to use it simply to state your discomfort and what you feel comfortable doing vs. not, and to ASK for their support. You wouldn't be able to lay down any ultimatums, such as "you have to..." It sounds like you are already at a point at which you would need to have conversation with your dad alone, to some extent, in that you have identified him as a driving force requesting you to fix your mother--if you can't talk with your dad or if he doesn't "get it" in conversation with you alone, he won't get it in the presence of your mother. But, see, you would have to really WANT to stop being in the middle in order to propose to your father, here, I can do this and this, but I would prefer it if you would not ask or expect me to that and that. You could stay there if somehow you are able to change YOURSELF--to develop some serenity and distance from these struggles and just smile and fix an occasional meal, do daily and weekly chores as a good citizen of the family, and, if you really like organizing, graciously do so whenever your mother gives you a target drawer, etc (assuming she doesn't later accuse you of doing it wrong). Some people can manage a year like that. But, another approach as mentioned is to get out your pencil and paper and calculuate your way into moving out and continuing school on your own even if at a slower pace. You would be the one to know whether your father would be willing to discuss tuition or a loan if you move out. But, it can be done with or without their financial support. You could do either approach, and it's not completely wrong to stay to get tuition if you can manage all these other emotions and situations, but you can't really stay and stew about why your parents won't change. It isn't really good for your siblings to watch that dynamic, either, because it certainly won't be a successful strategy for them to follow as they get older. One of the reasons why protecting your siblings isn't a helpful rationale is that, under that reasoning, you would have to stay there until they all leave home....See MoreDo I listen to everyone else....or follow my heart?
Comments (43)That's such a hard question to answer. Of course, you are the person who will use the kitchen most and you are the person who has the vision. But you want your family to enjoy it too. You just have to balance that out in your own mind. ....which, of course, is not an answer. Maddening, I know. Are they understanding your vision and rejecting it? Or are they not seeing it in their mind's eye and rejecting what they think it will be? Have you shown them the pictures that sold you on the idea? I had one of those esoteric visions in my head for my kitchen. It's small and narrow and I wanted two different colors -- one on one side and one on the other. And I wanted a different color for the breakfast area and pantry. Every single person to whom I described it said, "Isn't 3 colors too much?". Without exception. The cabinet maker had to do 5 sets of drawings to get it all right and then still was only willing to do one color and door option at a time. My GC confessed to me when it was all over that he thought I was nuts and creating a disaster until he saw it come together. Now that it's done, everyone really likes it. My family is crazy about it. They just couldn't see it when I described it. OTOH, even though my husband was supportive all along and said it was my choice, if it hadn't worked, I would have been miserable knowing I was the only one who wanted it that way. Take pictures of your layout and use tracing paper to draw your modifications. Go get several large-size copies made. Color them in so everyone has a clear idea what you're talking about, what they want, what compromises are possible. It just comes down to the painful process of decisions and consequence. The more concrete you can make abstract ideas now, the more the consequences will be wonderful and comfortable for all. Good luck!...See MoreRelated Professionals
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