I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel; tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my precious mom passed away. I'm numb yet full of sadness and heartache. Losing her has left a void that nothing can fill, and watching our precious father lose the love of his life breaks our hearts. They were married 65 years, together for 70, and modeled unconditional love for all of those years. I don't know how I can ever find joy again. My kids have always been the source of my joy and I know they will bring joy again, yet Momma always shared in that joy with me, so how can I feel it in the same way as I had her to share it with? We will continue our Christmas traditions of gathering in my parents' home, as those are important to us now more than ever. Momma and Daddy started these traditions and while it is the hardest thing in the world to see her empty chair, it is important to us all to be together in the home that we were all brought up in and spent so many loving times together. Your children mean well, they have not lost their mother, though, so they cannot know fully what you are feeling. II have read several articles about grief and all advise that you live through your grief in the way that you need, not the way that others advise you. My children, all adults, were extremely close to my mom, and it's been very difficult for them, too. If it were not for my children, and my father, I would skip the holidays this year. My daughter made me see, though, that Momma would not have wanted us to do that. So I will move through the motions of Christmas, as I did at Thanksgiving. I hope that you are able to find comfort and peace throughout the holidays. I know it will not be easy for either of us. Blessings to you and all who loved your mother.

I'm not married; I don't participate this forum. I just feel compelled to point out that very few SMs on the SF forum write openly about how much they hate their SKs. There are often voices of frustration, stress or anxiety and occasionally of dislike... But when you read the rest of what most posters have to say, they're usually trying to work it out, want to not be frustrated, or are trying to like their SC more. Even the most troubling post of late (the woman who has the 11yo SS who she thinks is a bad role model) is someone looking to make things better, she's just having a LOT of trouble with it and needs to do some growing up herself. After a quick look the marriage forum, I see plenty of posts about trouble that people are trying to work through. At present these posts include porn, potential infidelity, disrespect, sexual dysfunction, potential separation, and, my favourite, wanting to use his mother as a marriage counselor. But this shouldn't make anyone want to run away from marriage, because these are stories of people trying (for the most part) to deal with their troubles and make their lives better for everyone involved. You likely wouldn't want a single person saying that marriage is bad because they saw that many people on this board face obstacles. So, please try to remember that stepfamilies have unique challenges with unique solutions and that it's important that there is a space for people (mostly SMs, but some SDs and SKs) to talk about them without criticism from outsiders.

Hello all, I thought I would post an update. Casey is doing remarkably well. He is calm and happy. There still has been no sign whatsoever of aggression toward the other dogs. Today they even got chewies and spent a few hours in bliss with them. Bina and Toby came and went out of the same space that Casey and I were in while they were chewing, and there was not even a sideways glance! Three weeks ago, if I had given chewies, Casey would have been locked in his cage and still would have growled if either of the other two came into the same room. He has been on the Phenobarbital since New Years Eve. At first I did not notice anything. Now I have noticed his back end swaying on three occasions. It is hard to describe, other than that, just an unsteadiness on his feet. Casey and Bina both went to their primary care vet on Saturday. He got his thyroid panel done. They are sending it to Michigan State University Vet School and it will be back in a couple of weeks. Casey will receive no more vaccination shots anymore, due to his neurological disorder. So we did not even run a Rabies titer on him. Bina had the basic blood panel done, CBC and such. I had a titer done for her Rabies immunity. I don't want to vaccinate a dog whose immune system is already causing autoimmune rhinitis. The vet agreed and said she could write a letter for Bina so that the kennel where we take them on our rare vacations might still let them board there. Both will need Bordetella nasal spray vaccines, though, she expects. I may try to get someone to dog sit at home so we don't have to do that, either. Bina was started on Deramaxx for pain. She clenched in pain when the doc simply touched her spine. She has been limping in the evening and when she has been lying for an extended time lately. I have brought in an assortment of dog beds, but she does not seem interested in lying on a cushy bed in the evening in the family room. Tonight I have more dog beds than floor space, but she appears to either prefer the carpeted floor or she is convinced that she is not worthy of a bed. What do you do when your dog has low self-esteem? So things go on here like normal. I hope we have a significant amount of "normal" here for at least a while. My DF-in-L was seen at the cancer center today for follow-up, and his cancer is back. We are kind of hoping that he decides not to treat it this time, the only treatment left is chemo, and he is not even well enough to sit up anymore. He is 93. We use the hoyer lift anytime we have to move him. We are hoping he decides on palliative care, because we believe he will have a better quality for his remaining days. In a few days he will be rested enough to decide about that. The dogs may be suffering a big loss soon. They love their grandpa and his caregivers very much.

Merry Christmas to all. We were up in Bismarck last night and then we decided to leave at 8 after we were done with supper and opening presents. The weather is supposed to get really bad today. We drove 3 hours in the dark and it was really drifting bad in some spots. I am glad we are home even if we have to spend it by ourselves.