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The Kitchen Table

Christmas is sad

16 years ago

DD1, who lives in Manhattan, NY can not come home for christmas this year. Her sister and family are coming but it is not the same without her. I sent her these pictures of ornaments of her. It just will not be Christmas without her. Sad.

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Comments (18)

luckygardnr
16 years ago
I feel your pain, Ron. I couldn't imagine having Christmas without my DD and her family. Hugs!

Laurel
glenda_al
16 years ago
((((((ron and family)))))
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alisande
16 years ago
It's easy to see why so many people find the holidays depressing. Christmas is wonderful when all conditions are right Â families together, no one missing, no one sick, no one lost. But that window of perfection is rather small, and life, as it progresses, often disturbs it.

It's natural to want to go back, to experience the maic of Christmas the way it was. I still have moments of doing that. Many moments. But I think we have to accept that things change, and try to adapt to those changes. It sounds like you stil have plenty to be grateful for, and I hope you can appreciate and enjoy those things. My advice is to show your other daughter how happy you are that she was able to spend Christmas with you.

Beautiful DD1, by the way.

Susan
junkyardgirl
16 years ago
What Alisande said. My son chose to spend Christmas with his grandmother every year for four years, because she was old, and she might die anytime. Last year, we finally all got together for the first time in all those years, him, his brother and me. It made it all the more special because it had been so long.

Children grow, and their own lives take precedence over ours. It's part of life, although maybe a little sad. It's always hard to let go of traditions and people we love.
liz
16 years ago
I'm sorry and know exactly how you feel...My first Christmas without my parents was awful...I had been flying for THREE whole days in 1977 and spent it in a rat trap of a motel in Chicago...I really doubted that I had made the right move...but 30 years later I KNOW I made the right choice...

Try and make the best of it...it'd be great if ya'll had SKYPE...then you could at least see each other thru video!

((RONM80))
grammahony
16 years ago
My #2 daughter and her family won't be home this year either. It very well could be the last one where all of my Mom's grandkids could be together at one Christmas again. I don't think thats happened since 1996. Hopefully, next year, the Lord willing, we'll all be together. Until then, I'm thankful I still have my Mom with us.
But it IS so much more complete when all the kids are home for the holidays.
Leslie
deemarie5500
16 years ago
((((((ron))))))

I know the pain of missing family members at special times. The next time you see her, make it as special as Christmas for both of you!!
Kathsgrdn
16 years ago
((((Ron))))
susanjf_gw
16 years ago
maybe you can chose a time when you can call and everyone say hi...that's what we did for many years when mother just couldn't come here for christmas (she couldn't tolorate the cold) and we never had the cash to fly the 6 of us to her home...

now with computers and all the tech you can share pictures almost instantly...not as good as the real deal but it would be lovely! maybe you'll start a new tradition?

i'm so glad you'll have at least one of your chicks close by!
okwriter
16 years ago
Awwww, I know your heart must be breaking. But sending her those pictures was awfully sweet. Hugs ~
minnie_tx
16 years ago
Ron
I lost my youngest son to a drowning in Hawaii in 2000. Something he said to me earlier that year has stayed with me.
Earlier in the year we thought we were going to lose his older brother. I said something like I didn't know if I could go on living without him.

Mom, he said, We'd pick ourselves up and carry on that's what he would want and we would have to do it.

I've been doing it ever since. I still miss him and love him terrible but I am content that I will see him again some day.
I celebrate in honor of all my loved ones
Love your family be happy that they are happy and soon you will be sharing all the joy you can. ((Hugs)))
kframe19
16 years ago
This is the first Christmas without my Dad or my two dogs. It's kind of... odd... here.
okwriter
16 years ago
I'll be thinking of you, kframe.
kayjones
16 years ago
This is my first Christmas without my husband, who died in April of this year - I don't feel like celebrating, but am grateful for all the past celebrations we shared. As everyone has said, I will reiterate: treasure what you DO have - it can all change in the blink of an eye!
lunchlady1948
16 years ago
(((((Minnie)))) ((((Kayjones)))) ((((Kframe))))

Christmas is sad at times, my kids are starting to go in different directions with GF's and BF's~~My DGD is being a pain not telling us for sure if she is going to come to her mom's or not. I try to keep it light and be very flexable I never want to make a fuss or make anyone feel bad for wanting to live their lives.

If I get down at all my DH remeinds me that our troops in Iraq would love to be home also.
jannie
16 years ago
My youngest daughter (18) won't be home for CHristmas this year. Sob! She went on vacation to the Bahamas with her friends.
des_arc_ya_ya
16 years ago
Twinkie's down because we won't be spending any time with his DD and her kids during Christmas. We were just there last month and it's so expensive to even drive there these days. I've offered to send her gas $$, also offered for us to go back, etc, but he says no.

He got a phone call from all of them this morning and I can't tell if he feels better or worse!

You know, I thought this morning - at Christmas time the things in your life that are wrong and right are even MORE intensified. Blessings are that much more sweet - the losses that much harder.

Merry Christmas, everybody. May you find love and peace in your little corner of the world.
suzieque
16 years ago
I'm feeling a little badly for your other daughter. You didn't refer to her as your second daughter or anything like that; you referred to her as your DD1's sister, and it sounded, to me, anyway, that her presence on Christmas isn't valued. It sounds as though it's all about DD1 and because she won't be there all will be sad.

Gee - what a shame for DD2! Could you, perhaps, turn your emotions around to feeling so grateful that DD2 and her family are able and willing to be with you? I hope that she doesn't have to feel that Christmas is sad because her sister isn't there. Wouldn't it be nice to convey that Christmas is joyful because SHE is there?

You could have a nice part of your toast or Christmas dinner grace that refers to your DD1, indicating that you're thankful that DD1's happy and healthy, and then taking God (or whomever you choose) that DD2 and her family are with you and making your day so special. Please don't make DD2 feel second best or that things are sad despite her being there. That's the way your post sounds, to me.

Suzieque

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