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amylou321

Food Floof! The "never agains"

amylou321
4 years ago

So we've covered the repeat offenders and the must haves. What about the BOMBS?!?!? Share your horror stories. I have a couple.


One was spinach balls. One of my sisters likes to host get togethers. They are often graze fests rather than an actual MEAL and both of us are always trying to find new little nibbles to try. One fateful night one of us (I have a horrible feeling that it was ME) found a recipe for spinach balls. They really looked good on paper. THEY. WERE. VILE. It was like chewing green furry shredded paper. No flavor. Never ever again. I don't even think her pigs ate them....


Then, there was the spinach dip debacle. This one, I am glad to say, I can blame 100% on my mother. MY homemade hot spinach artichoke dip is really good and very much in demand. One year for new years eve my mom asked me to make it along with about a dozen or so other dishes. Okay. She wanted a shopping list. Okay. I go into the kitchen on the day of to cook all the food. Well, its time to make the spinach dip and i cant find the spinach. Or the artichoke hearts. And where is the Monterey jack cheese? Oh Mother dear, did we forget a few things? : I ask. No, she says cheerfully. She floats to the freezer and emerges with a box of frozen TGI Fridays spinach dip. Everyone, not just me, looks on in horror. You see, even though my mother does none of the savory cooking for such parties and never any cooking on the day of, I think the thought of it overwhelms her anyway. "This is the same thing. And its easier." She stubbornly declares and orders me to heat it and serve it. I did not try it, but everyone that did, even my mother, spit it out and declared that it tasted like paste! She learned her lesson for a while anyway. If the grocery list is too long and she gets overwhelmed (again, she does NOT do the cooking, i do) she is more likely now to just scrap dishes rather than find an easy,disgusting alternative. She will never live that disgrace down. We tell her its going in her eulogy AND on her tombstone.


There was the sausage and rice casserole that neither SO or i could finish......


Not MY fault, but SO wanted to try turkey bacon.....neither us could made it past one bite. I gave the whole pack to the cats that wander through our property from time to time.


I am sure there are others that I have CHOSEN to forget. At least i can laugh about them now. Heck, I laughed about them THEN.


So come on. Own up. Tell me your culinary misdeeds and mischief. Surely I am not the only one?!?!?!

Comments (47)

  • Chi
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    This wasn't me but...I was invited to dinner at a friend's house when I was in high school. Her family was VERY Italian so I was looking forward to her mom's cooking as she was making spaghetti with tomato sauce (she called it gravy), which I love.

    She serves me a plate of spaghetti...with tomato sauce. Just tomato sauce from a can. No onions or garlic, no spices or seasonings or even salt or pepper. It was vile and I had to choke it down to be polite.

    amylou321 thanked Chi
  • plllog
    4 years ago

    I know I've made things that were less than 100% good. Some even pretty bad. None I can remember going in the trash except for cook failures (e.g., burnt) rather than recipe failures. Oh! I know one! Irreproducible on any scale anyway, but I also learned some do nots from it. I made a savory bread pudding from leftovers from a catered party. I was very careful about the balance of flavors, and those were fine. It took awhile, but I found a beef sausage that tied it together. I needed more bread, however, and instead of just taking some out of the freezer, I was tempted by the leftovers and put some torn up doughnut holes in. The cinnamon actually did go well with the meat and veg and all. What I forgot to take into account is that the sugar would melt off of them in the custard and distribute all through the dish. Savory and spicy, egg custardy bread pudding with a few pops of sweet, like if there had been chunks of pears, would have been great. With the cinnamon and sugar distributed throughout via the custard, it tasted okay, but there was nowhere to escape the sweetness and it was really hard to eat a full entree portion. And it counts because it was served to company, though luckily they were family. :)

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  • jemdandy
    4 years ago

    It happened on Boy Scout outing. Blue berry pancakes were on the menu for the first breakfast of the camp-out. The Scout who was supposed to buy the food supplies forgot the blue berries. That became known when the 'cook' was mixing the pancake mix. The pancakes would have been edible without the blue berries, however, our improvising Scout thought differently. He spied a box of chocolate chips and tossed these into the mix. The resulting pancakes were not bad at all, in fact, they were edible, but the deed had repercussions. When we tried to clean the griddle, we found black spots were ever a chocolate chip touched the hot surface. These spots could not be eradicated. The griddle appeared to have a case of measles.

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  • cookebook
    4 years ago

    Dressing made from tamales. Yes it was as awful as it sounds like it would be.

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  • nickel_kg
    4 years ago

    Never again will I try a "baked oatmeal" recipe. I don't care how much time it saves in the morning. It reminds me too much of my grandmother's solidified cold oatmeal chunks that we had to eat as kids. To be fair to grandma, her oatmeal was probably fine when she cooked it at 7:00am but we refused to get out of bed until after 9:00. DH didn't like it at all either, and he has no oatmeal trauma in his past to blame it on.

    My DD had an interesting waffle failure, when she added baking soda instead of baking powder. They ended up tasting strongly of soap (baking soda + fat = soap taste).

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  • marymd7
    4 years ago

    I don't like to think about the lamb shank incident, so I will say no more about it, other than it was dreadful.

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  • sushipup1
    4 years ago

    Jim has a cousin with the most amazing list of original culinary bombs, going back 45 years. There was the smoked (fully cooked) turkey that she stuffed and roasted. The paella for a dozen people using 1 chicken and the rice was raw. Her kids loved the lasagne made with canned brown gravy. The "chow mein" that was so bad, we sent someone out to pick up pizza.

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  • phyllis__mn
    4 years ago

    I think I've told about this one, but here goes. One Thanksgiving, I had invited DD's in-laws to dinner. This was long ago, when vegetable molds were sort of popular. Anyway, I made this lovely one with chopped chicken and various shredded vegetables and had it molded. As I was sliding it onto the serving dish, over the sink, it slid into the dishwater which was "soaking" a pan or two. I just stood there and stared at my lovely lime/chicken offering become more dishwater!

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  • ediej1209 AL Zn 7
    4 years ago

    Way back when I was in Girl Scouts, at a campout, my Mom made this fabulous kettle of chili on a woodburning stove. There was quite a bit left, so the other leader "helpfully" poured the leftovers into a clean plastic food storage bucket - and then set the bucket on the back of the woodburning stove "to keep warm." Woodburning stoves stay hot for a long time. Plastic doesn't do well in direct contact with heat ... :-( That was a mess to clean up!

    For myself, we got married in October and due to work schedules we couldn't go to either family for Thanksgiving so I decided to wow my new hubby by making a full-on T-Day dinner. I apparently never paid attention when my Mom was fixing a turkey. Had no clue that giblets came in a bag stuffed inside the bird...

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  • OutsidePlaying
    4 years ago

    I already told the story about DD’s step mother’s kitchen adventure with the green jello concoction that no one could eat.

    This lady always brought out the fine china and silver and set a for all table for TG and it was very formal (and a little uncomfortable) for everyone. Same step mother was on Valium, and probably some other drugs, at TG when she proudly brought in the platter bearing the turkey. She was wearing a white blouse with big bell sleeves, and apparently when she had removed something from the oven, one sleeve had caught fire, so she was literally on fire when she walked into the dining room. My DD, a nurse practitioner, jumped up with her napkin and put her out. Fortunately she had no severe burns and never felt a thing. She said it was like a scene from Christmas Vacation with Aunt Bethany.

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  • nicole___
    4 years ago

    I used King Arthur self rising flour to make pizza crust. Yay...no rising time. YUCK! Then I used cooking oil instead of solid shortening for pie crust. Another Yuck! And....then Progresso Chicken cheese enchilada soup. It's nasty! Tastes like vomit.

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  • aok27502
    4 years ago

    I'm lol'ing here. Keep them coming!

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  • bob_cville
    4 years ago

    Years ago I decided to try something a little different and after seeing small squid at my local store and remembering a stuffed squid recipe in a cookbook I had received the previous Christmas I decided to go for it. I carefully made a shopping list and purchased all of the ingredients, followed all of the steps to the letter, chopping stuffing, pinning the ends closed with skewers, roasting them as directed. I even followed the recipes suggestions for what to serve as side dishes.

    I proudly set the food down and presentation-wise it looked great. My wife (then my fiancee) tried a bite, and then another, and declared this is gross I can't eat this, its just disgusting. And proceeded to scrape her plate into the garbage disposal. I was indignant that I had put in such an effort only to receive such a negative reaction. I didn't think it was good -- at all -- but I didn't think it was that bad.

    To put that incident in a positive light I have realized since then when she says the food is good, I can rest assured she's not just being polite, if she doesn't like the food she'll have no qualms whatsoever about saying so. And to my credit, since then while she might sometimes say it needs a little something, or complain that something is too spicy-hot for her, there haven't been any other major failures.

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  • quasifish
    4 years ago

    Mexican squash... looks like zucchini, but a lighter greyish-green. LOVE zucchini, so when the Mexican squash was on sale we picked some up and sauteed it. It was not edible- so bitter. We put it down the garbage disposal. I don't remember ever doing that with anything else. Other people have said how good it is, so I don't know if we prepared it wrong, or had some bad squash, but we've never been able to convince ourselves to buy more.

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  • User
    4 years ago

    Funny thing, some of the worst flops get eaten the fastest. It's typically about how the dish looks not how it tastes.

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  • gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
    4 years ago

    I'm sure I've had my share of semi-bombs but nothing memorable. But I do remember years ago being invited to friends' place for dinner. The wife was not a great cook at the best of times but usually produced something fairly edible. She fixed turkey and dressing. The turkey doesn't stand out in my mind one way or the other but the dressing....... All she did was pour hot water over the dried bread of the stuffing mix (just the crumbs - not a StoveTop mix) and called it good. No sauteed onions or celery, no added seasonings, no broth and no butter. Just water. Not sure it even went in the oven. Petty much just a tasteless, soggy goo.

    MY BFF (who joined us) and I still talk about that meal some 25-30 years later!!

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  • lindac92
    4 years ago

    I am pretty good about not making awful stuff....but one time....
    Admittedly I was about 15 and was at the Jersey shore with my family and wanted to make clam chowder with the local huge clams that could be dug at low tide.. so I dug some, put them in clear water to burp out the sand, boiled them until they opened, took out the clam and proceeded to boil it more until it got "tender". And I cut it up and continued to boil the mes and it got tougher and tougher....boiled it for hours and ti was like shoe leather....very "clammy" smelling but completely inedible!

    And when my husband was alive and was at the Maytag Blue place, people would send in recipes using blue cheese....most qwere variations on the creamcheese or sour cream and blue cheese idea....but one recipe called for blue cheese, mixed with peanut butter, garlic powder and lots of worchestershire and some chopped walnuts. It sounded soooo gross, that i made it just out of curiosity.....and amazingly it wasn't too bad.. I won't make it again, but the friends I had invited for an "odd recipe" party ate it all gone.

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  • DawnInCal
    4 years ago

    I'm pretty sure I've shared this one before.

    I made an elaborate several course Chinese dinner for friends. I chopped and diced veggies and meat all day long in preparation. When it came time to cook the meal, everything was going so well and it all looked so good. I got it all to the table and was told to take pics before we ate as the food was magazine worthy.

    We sat down to eat, everyone dug in and there was dead silence at the table. Hubby finally asked what I had seasoned the food with. "Garlic, ginger, sesame seeds, chili peppers, soy sauce...the usual stuff." He gets up, goes into the kitchen and comes back with the bottle of soy sauce. As he turns it so that the people at the table can see the label, I realize with horror that I had mistaken worcestershire sauce for soy sauce!

    All that work and all that beautiful food was inedible. The pizza was good though.

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  • donna_in_sask
    4 years ago

    Not really awful, just not something I would ever eat....mock cranberry sauce using shredded beets (and I think strawberry jello). My neighbour told me it was the best thing ever...ended up throwing most of it out. Same reason I've never made zucchini relish, green tomato relish or watermelon rind pickles...I'd rather eat the real thing.

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  • chloebud
    4 years ago

    amylou, I actually have a recipe for really tasty spinach balls. LOL, but never mind!

    What comes to mind for me was a birthday cake I made for my MIL. Can't remember if it was 3 layers or 4, but she loved chocolate with chocolate buttercream icing. I spent a lot of time making sure it was perfectly decorated. I was quite proud of the results and got all the ohhhs and ahhhs when I brought it out. I started to cut the first slice and felt something weird. Then it came to me. I'd lined the cake pans with wax paper and forgot to peel it off each layer. :-(

    I once used bacon grease instead of shortening in oatmeal cookies. However, I was 9 at the time and just figured it was pretty much the same as shortening. The cookies actually looked fine/normal, but I can still remember that horrible taste.

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  • bob_cville
    4 years ago

    Another absolute abject failure I just remembered. We were visiting a sister-in-law in Connecticut and she was making a roast beef. I asked whether she had any horseradish sauce, she said that that was a good idea but she didn't have any. I looked around a found wasabi powder and thought wasabi is similar to horseradish (right?) and tried mixing it some with mayo, and tasting it, and adding something else and tasting it and adding something else and tasting it. I don't recall all of what I added but it started off bad and steadily because worse and worse and worse. My sister-in-law was the only other one to try it before the meal was ready. She declared (and I agreed) "That's awful, throw it out."

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  • User
    4 years ago

    Bob, wasabi in ranch dressing is wonderful, doesn't need anything else.

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  • aok27502
    4 years ago

    Mmm, my DH would like that. He likes wasabi, the more pungent the better.

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  • melusineseabridger
    4 years ago

    I made a lovely Sunday lunch of roast lamb, baby potatoes and buttered vegetables - all delightful. Unfortunately, I also made shortbread and cooked it at the same time and in the same oven as the lamb. Lamb- flavored shortbread is not a recipe I plan to repeat... I also cooked a now-legendary five bean casserole one day. It took ages to make and even I wouldn't eat it.

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  • OutsidePlaying
    4 years ago

    My brain went on vacation when I made Potatoes Anna once. I usually never add much salt to anything, but if you have ever made this dish, you know you layer the potatoes with a little butter and salt. Well, for some reason I grabbed the sea salt and went to town when assembling. They were way too salty but we ate most of them anyway. Fortunately it was family.

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  • chloebud
    4 years ago

    "Lamb- flavored shortbread is not a recipe I plan to repeat..."

    We can put that in the same category as my bacon grease oatmeal cookies. ;-)

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  • jakkom
    4 years ago

    Mine is sadly standard. We finally tried durian at a marvelous Vietnamese restaurant. DH liked it; I just could not get over the 'smelly gym socks' aroma. It has a mild sweet flavor, but I can get that from any vanilla ice cream, LOL.

    amylou, the only turkey bacon we've found that's good is from a local turkey farmer. Willie Bird Turkeys are quite famous here in Northern CA and a group of us tried their bacon at a local restaurant. We were impressed with it, but I don't think it's available everywhere.

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  • amylou321
    Original Author
    4 years ago

    Jakkom, it was bad enough that we will never again try turkey bacon.

    It didnt taste like either Turkey OR bacon! Gross.

  • Ladydi Zone 6A NW BC Canada
    4 years ago

    Or the bacon wrapped scallop appetizer I made for company on New Years that I pierced with what I thought was a plain toothpick. Turned out they were peppermint flavored. Both bacon and scallop tasted like peppermint and was truly inedible.

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  • amylou321
    Original Author
    4 years ago

    Oh toothpicks! That reminds me of another disaster! I have told this story here before, but I feel the need to repeat it as it was such a mess!

    A favorite family dish is roll-em-ups. They are a paper thin piece of round steak, with bacon laid on it and then rolled up, hence the name, and then held together with toothpicks. They are cooked slowly in a crock pot with onions until they are fall apart tender. (makes the worlds best gravy, btw, but i digress) I have also mentioned here how my family LOVES to get under my skin and tick me off by coming in the kitchen and fiddling with things. Stirring, mixing, lifting lids and opening ovens and such. Well, that day was no different. There I was, dutifully mashing potatoes to go with the roll em ups when my brother, the WORST of the lot, came in, grabbed a big metal spoon, lifted the top off the crock pot and AGGRESSIVELY stirred the roll em ups. They were indeed, fall apart tender, and that's just what they did, they shredded apart, turning my beautiful, delicious roll em ups into some sort of bacon beef and toothpick soup! Even HE had a horrified look on his face. Then he tried to save face by rushing out and buying rolls to scoop the mess of a mix on, and declaring that THIS way a much better way to eat them, once you picked all the random shards of wood out.:/

    Much like my mother and her fateful spinach dip decision, HE will never live that incident down. He didn't learn anything though, as he does still like to irritate me while I am cooking.

  • aok27502
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    I've always found toothpicks cooked in the Crock-Pot to be much like dried beans. They take forever to get soft! :D

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  • nickel_kg
    4 years ago

    LOL aok -- I've had beans that never got soft, but (so far) haven't tried to tenderize a toothpick!

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  • petalique
    4 years ago

    Maermd7, “... lamb shank incident,”

    LambShank Redemption?

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  • georgysmom2
    4 years ago

    A Five Star recipe from Southern Living called King Ranch Chicken casserole. I thought it was so awful I threw it in the garbage and I love Southern Living recipes. Obviously my taste buds are different than most since it came out of Southern Living's Five Star Recipes cookbook composed of everyones favorite recipe. I don't recall ever throwing something out because it was so bad. Sometimes I will say 2 or 3 stars at best, but generally edible, just don't want to make it again. Now that I've written this, I'm curious and am going to look up a copy of the recipe and compare it to the Southern Living cookbook recipe. Maybe there was a misprint. Don't know why I never thought of that before. :-)))

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  • petalique
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    When I was in my early twenties, I decided to make a roastchicken dinner for four.


    It smelled okay cooking. When it was put onto a platter to be carved (hungry dinner guests looking on), it soon became apparent that something was very wrong. It was very difficult to carve, slice or otherwise ply the meat from the bones. No flavor either.


    It turns out that I had purchased not a roasting chicken, but a “fowl.” (I’d never heard of them.) Maybe they are the origin of the term “tough old bird.”


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  • georgysmom2
    4 years ago

    Checked out All Recipes version and it was very similar. Correction to the name of the cookbook....Our Readers Top-Rated Recipes. All Five Star recipes.

    amylou321 thanked georgysmom2
  • Elizabeth
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Years ago, my late aunt made a casserole for a family dinner with canned corned beef. When I walked into the house I wondered what the horrible odor was? A plumbing back-up perhaps? It was so horrible that most of us could only take one bite of it. She was most offended and said that it was just delicious and enjoyed her serving fully. We ate the veggies and rolls.

    The dog refused to eat the leftovers.

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  • blfenton
    4 years ago

    Similar to chloebud's experience

    My sister and I were making Thanksgiving dinner and decided to make pumpkin pies. We bought frozen pie shells and the kind that we bought were two to a pac and had wax paper separating them and wax paper on the top one. Well, when everything is frozen you can't see the wax paper and there were no instructions telling us to remove the wax paper.

    Yep, you guessed it. Baked the pumpkin pies with the wax paper and when it came to slicing them, we ran into the wax paper. We carefully lifted the pumpkin pie filling, wiggled the wax paper out and put the pumpkin pie filling back down, covered the whole thing with whipping cream and we were good to go. We had been drinking wine before dinner and during dinner and we found the whole thing just so funny.

    My mom taught cooking in the high school and she would have been appalled.


    amylou321 thanked blfenton
  • aziline
    4 years ago

    When I left home I thought scrambled eggs should be browned. Suffice to say I had A LOT to learn about cooking.


    During my long learning curve there have been many disasters. One memorable dinner was a chicken dish with Marsala. I thought it seemed like a lot but I'd never cooked with it before so followed the recipe. It was vile.

    amylou321 thanked aziline
  • patriciae_gw
    4 years ago

    I am racking my brain for a big disaster which I am sure I have had though generally a good cook but when something turns out badly I just say "these things happen in even the best regulated families" and move on wiping the incident from my mind. Apparently it worked.

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  • Rusty
    4 years ago

    That reminds me of the time one of my stepsons, about 14 or 15 at the time, baked a cake. Now, he was pretty good with cake mixes, and in the kitchen in general, so I felt no need to supervise. His grandmother had told him that a good way to keep cakes from sticking to the pan was to line the pan with wax paper. (This was back in the early 70's.) Well, he couldn't find the wax paper (I was out of it), and he didn't bother to say anything, he just used plastic wrap instead. Getting that Saran wrap off the bottom of that cake was quite a job!

    Yes, Bob and Raye, wasabi in Ranch dressing is delicious! Especially as a dip for crispy fried parmesan green beans.

    Georgysmom, King Ranch Casserole is pretty popular and common around here. Most people seem to like it a lot. For me, it's a take it or leave it kind of dish. There are various 'versions' of it but I can't imagine it ever being so awful as to be inedible. Unless there was a misprint in the recipe or a wrong ingredient mistakenly used.

    Another thing my family frequently laughs about. My husband's grandmother & I were pretty close. I written her and asked for a cake recipe she made that my husband really liked. (We lived about 150 miles apart, and this was in the mid 60's, no emails, texts, etc.) She sent it to me, and as soon as I made sure I had all the ingredients, I made it. Well, it tasted fine, but it didn't rise hardly at all, and was quite solid. It's called Buttermilk Cake, and has a lot of pecans in it. My husband and kids ate most of it not gonna let all those pecans go to waste! So, a week or so later I tried again. Same results. Now, desperate to make a good cake, I called Grandma to see if she could help me figure out what was wrong. After a fairly long conversation (paying for long distance!) she finally asked me to read her handwritten recipe to her. I did, and guess what, no eggs in the ingredients! I was inexperienced enough in cake baking (pies and cookies were, (and still are,) my specialty. Needless to say, the next Buttermilk Cake I made included the 4 eggs, and turned out wonderful. That recipe has remained a family favorite all these years.

    Rusty

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  • chloebud
    4 years ago

    Rusty, your Buttermilk Cake incident reminded me of the very first time I made lemon bars. It was circa mid 70's and I'd never had them before. A friend made some and I went crazy over them. She gave me the recipe and I made some that same night. I couldn't get hold of her to ask what I'd done wrong with the filling. As with your cake, the recipe didn't include the eggs in the filling. I was too much of a novice baker back then to realize what was missing. :-/ At least the shortbread crust was good.

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  • ediej1209 AL Zn 7
    4 years ago

    Rusty, unless it's a family secret, would you be willing to share your recipe? I absolutely LOVE pecans!

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  • aok27502
    4 years ago

    The horrible corned beef dish reminds me of a major Christmas fail at my parent's house. She had purchased a large cut of beef of some sort, it was several pounds. I'm not really sure what it was now. It was wrapped in plastic like a turkey. For some reason my mother thought that it was hermetically sealed and would keep for a long time. So she put it in the downstairs refrigerator where it sat for I think several weeks.


    So Christmas day she got up and put this lovely roast in the oven. When we walked in, I about gagged on the smell of rotten meat. Of course they couldn't smell it because they'd been smelling it all day. I finally convinced her that it had gone bad and she couldn't serve it. If I remember correctly we had hot dogs.

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  • maifleur01
    4 years ago

    More of an almost a disaster. My dad brought some round steak to me and asked me to make what my mom called Swiss Steak. Mostly pounded steak with tomato sauce and chunks of potato. When I opened it I knew it was bad. REALLY BAD. Luckily I did have something in the freezer I could substitute. My husband came in and wanted to know why I was not fixing what my dad had brought. By then I had tossed it into the freezer to try to reduce the smell as trash day was that morning. After I stuck it in his face he got the idea. Later after my dad had a stroke and we were cleaning out his house I received a call from someone he knew telling me not to use any of the meat that was in the refrig because my father did not place it there until it was "aged" enough.

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  • Rusty
    4 years ago

    Ediej, not a family secret at all! I posted it separately here on the KT because I don't want to hijack this thread.

    Rusty

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