This story sounds eerily familiar... My exhusband, father of my DD, has been in and out of jail and rehab (theft and drugs... felonies... wanted in two states) since her birth. He was released from prison in October... he says that the jail took pity on the "light offenders" like him because of the Sept 11 attacks. Since then, he has gotten back into drug dealing, has not held a 'real' job (except for drug dealing, which makes him a great deal of money), has never paid child support for my child, even tried to kidnap her early last year during one of his "vacations" from jail. I filed a criminal summons against him just last week, because of the child support issue; I feel that if he is out of prison, he needs to get a job. Sounds simple to me, but it really p_ssed him off. He called me, screaming, telling me that he will "see me in court", that he is going to take away my rights to my daughter... that I cannot bring in ANY of his records of drug use, his theft charges, even the DUI's that splatter his record. In our original divorce decree it states loud and clear he has to be supervised during visits with my daughter (his mother being the supervisor... can of worms, she is), he is not allowed to drive a car with DD (lost his license anyway)... these things alone, you would think, would make him stop his proceedings against me, but I've been told by his own mother they can prove that THEIR house is better than MY house because they are married, their son lives with them... and I am a "single mother". This is the state of Kentucky, but my hands are pretty much tied. I have an expensive battle coming up for me, to keep my daughter from a drug addicted loser who cannot keep himself from Jail. All because of the Grandmother, who feels her son is "just wanting love from people, just wanting attention". My point to all this is; grandparents do indeed have rights. Several of them. I have been told that during the every-other-weekend visitations that my DD is at their house, they can keep her from me and refuse to give her back to me. Because, "he is the father, he has rights". I tried to prove him "unfit" last year while he was in prison for the theft and drug charges... know what they said? "he has to relinquish rights on his own, you cannot hit him while he's down like this!"... the lawyers and judges said this to me. Makes me wonder why I work so hard, makes me wonder about laws and life in general. Good luck with your situation, the law seems to screw everyone. - darkeyedgirl

When my Mum was pregnant for the first time and went into labor, she went to the hospital. The doctor said "when the apple is ripe it will fall from the tree. We don't pick ripe apples." and sent her home. She returned later the same day and delivered. She had 6 kids and tells us we were all late so she was pregnant more than 54 months of her life. With child #5, she was so late they induced her and she picked March 30th because she thought having an April Fool's day birthday would be awful(and the 30th would provide 2 days to get it done). Naturally, child #5 has always wished she had an AFD birthday. Our BIL and a nephew, who do have an AFD birthdays, love to tell her how it is the best birthday. Hope all is well with you and yours. When the apple is ripe, it will fall from the tree...

What a sweetie! I love her name, too. I have a picture just like that of DS & he's blowing a bubble in the pic.

TOS, I don't need a website to tell me that the majority of kids today are in non intact families. I was surprised back when I worked for social services, how many children lived with grandparents and other relatives. I was equally shocked at how many father's had custody and uninvolved mothers. I was a single mother and I figured that there were very few mother's that didn't have custody or see their children. While KKNY can yell from the rooftops that only 10% of fathers have custody, I think that's an outdated statistic. It may not be much higher, but that doesn't mean 90% of mothers have custody. Obviously, if 4.5 million (and I still think it's higher) children live with grandparents and I saw many cases of children living with other relatives that would not be included in those statistics (as well as non relatives raising someone's kids)... when you factor that in, the percentage of mother's raising their children drops. KKNY, like I said, you can't discuss EVERY possible scenario before you get remarried. When there are children involved, you have to accept the unexpected. I guess the first rule is IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, DON'T MARRY SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T LIKE CHILDREN. Doodle married someone with small children and it's clear she loves kids. How can you anticipate whether you will want to babysit grandkids or how often (I think most people would want to babysit their grandkids) 15-20 years from now? Nobody can look into the future and tell what will happen years or decades from now. Like I said, i am looking forward to my grandkids. I can't say for sure if I will be available to babysit when my kids want me to. I think that when you get married, the best you can do is discuss how you feel about family and look at your partner's family ties... Id family as important to them as it is to you? etc. Some families are very close while some only get together at the holiday's or hardly ever. I think it's important to discuss family in general, it would also alleviate disagreements over in laws, etc. And then since the divorce rate is over 50% (and rising), I suppose that prior to the first marriage, while talking about whether they will have kids and how many, they should start discussing who will get custody and what kind of parenting plan they might have in the future. They should discuss how a step parent will play into the equation. After all, it's more likely than not for today's children to experience their parent's divorce, live in a single parent household, and eventually, live in a blended family. Might as well discuss it before having kids. I think you are right, the more you discuss, the better. And I'm always in favor of putting it in writing. People tend to change their minds and forget what they agreed to.