So, turns out he has an adult son. And grandkids!
I've known my husband for 15 years, we've been married almost 9 years now. We have a great big age gap between us, he is older, but it has never been an issue at all. We've always been very proud of how we have no secrets, how we're best friends, how we tell each other everything, etc. He's been married twice before, I know all about his exes, I'm even Fb friends with one of them. We decided not to have children, which I was always fine with, and I'm getting up there in years anyway lol About five months ago he blurts out that the DNA kit I gave him for Xmas came back and he found the son he gave away for adoption when he was married to his first wife. It hit me so hard that I honestly thought he was joking, bizarre idea of a joke, but sure. I just could not get it in my brain that my husband, MY husband, was not just my husband anymore. He's a father and a grandfather. W.T.F. Intellectually I am happy for him, I don't judge him at all for placing the boy up for adoption, he turned out great, loving family, his life, wife and his kids are damn near perfect, and I'm very happy and can't wait to truly welcome them into our family. Intellectually. Emotionally, my heart is still very bruised from my husband keeping this GINORMOUS secret from me. And from the fact that I literally have no choice but to welcome these strangers into our family, because I love my husband and because his son and his family are not to blame for anything or to be punished for any of this. My husband is beside himself happy, they message everyday, he starts every day looking at their FB pages as they post a LOT about their kids and such, spends a lot of time trying to see himself in physical and personality traits, not just his son but his grandkids as well. Sometimes I get a little sarcastic and little comments just slip out, like today he was praising his 14 yo granddaughter's outfit, cause she wore a pink tshirt AND pink sneakers, so she's a beautiful fashionista. Uhh what? And yes, I know I'm looking at all of this through my bitter colored glasses but... I really want to evolve into the educated, progressive human being I know I am, but damn it's taking a little time. Any similar situations out there, or any wisdom?