I met him online, and I can't wait to meet him!
Alisande
4 years ago
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Alisande
4 years agoAlisande
4 years agoRelated Discussions
I lost a friend that I met online years ago.
Comments (14)I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Auntjen. The way she died sounds so sad. The ray of light in all this sadness is how you have celebrated her life by sharing some of her charm, sweetness and good nature with us. We can feel her presence even in her absence, because of you. We can in a small way, all celebrate her life by reflecting on your story of her. Your post honors and thanks her for touching you so deeply through her communications and loving spirit. Shortly after a friend of mine died many years ago, I felt a compelling urge to get back into doing volunteer work. My friend had been an amazing social worker, and I was overcome with a desire to emulate her in some way, to extend some of the goodness she had offered to others. I know I haven't come close to giving what she gave to others, but the impulse to give back, indeed a compulsion to, was born from her death. Maybe sometimes fighting for a cause or embodying the values and concerns of a person who has died can help us to cope with their loss....See MoreI don't WANT to send him to preschool!!
Comments (23)If you dont want to send him don't, but I think it would benefit him. I am a preschool teacher. My sister didnt send her son and she ended up pulling him out of kindergarten and putting him in preschool for a year. I dont know what the requirements are like for kindergarten in your state, but in Ohio the kindergarten cirriculum is what the first grade cirriculum used to be ten years ago. They even are expected to do simple addition and story problems by the end of the year. At my preschool 4 year olds go 2 1/2 hours 3 times a week. And it is not true that we are used for daycare. The majority of mom's are SAH. We believe you learn through play. We dont have 30 children like a kindergarten does, so we can start out a child's educational experiences with more individualized attention. Every child I have loves coming to school. I love each one like my own. Just because your child is in preschool doesn't mean you have to be apart from them. I have parents that volunteer and help me in the classroom almost every day. A good preschool will encourage parent participation. If you would decide to try it. (And what would trying it hurt?) Ask to see a list of objectives (the things the teacher wants the children to learn that year) and a sample copy of a lesson plan. If they don't have these things to show you then find a different school. Yes, children will adapt to kindergarten. But, as my sister's sons ex-kindergarten teacher told her, they have so many children and so much is expected of them, she doesn't have the time to teach them to stand in line, sit still, listen to a story, ect. I hope you change your mind. I think you and your son would enjoy it (because it should be an experience for both of you)...See MoreI got him - my Siamese cat!
Comments (30)The integration of the cats is coming along well. He's out of isolation now. Might have kept him separated a bit longer at least when we weren't home but for the fact he started going crazy being confined once he'd been out. He did quite a bit of damage clawing at the trim around our bathroom door so that was no longer an option. Fortunately they are all tolerating each other pretty well - gets noticeably better each day - though it got a little exciting when all three of them ended up on the bed around 2am last night....See MoreCan't change him, so how can I change my attitude about this?
Comments (21)Love - You said "He said fine, he would have to leave work early, didn't want to "inconvenience me" yada yada." and "I asked him what made him say that and he just said "well, I can't leave work early today." WOW. So I guess in his MAN MIND that is his way of acknowleding that I wouldn't do it." The way I see it is this was his way of making you feel guilty for being a SAHM, but unwilling to help him out with his kid. Don't give in!!!! Be strong in that HE needs to do what HE needs to do for HIS kid, and it wouldn't have to be this way if the (in the words of Sweeby) bat-sh*t crazy b*tch hadn't come in your home and punched you. Pseudo said "....I guess my point was if he puts BM before you ... if you had a child with him where would he draw the line ...." This is totally what I have been thinking for a few months now, but could never get the courage up to say anything. Where will he draw the line? Your DD has already been subjected to so much from this woman, and he's not even her father! How much would he put a child of his own through? Example: my friend has a DD with her DH who has 2 DDs with a crazy BM. The DH is a SAHD to the little one (DD with my friend) and would take her with him to pick up the other DDs on his weekend. It became a habit that the BM wouldn't be home at p/u time and wouldn't answer her phone. He would wait around for them to return (afraid that if he left he wouldn't get to see his DDs). One time, the little DD was in the car and carseat for 4 hours while he tried to track them down and waited for them. 4 hours! My friend finally said "You can wait around for 4 hours if you want, but you will not have MY daughter sitting in a carseat for 4 hours while you sit in your car outside their home." Basically, he had no problems putting BM ahead of his new DD. Remember...the squeaky wheel gets the grease. You just have to start squeaking louder than her. Jupiter said "I think that they need to see their ex's as good mothers (even when they clearly are not) maybe to somehow reassure themselves for when they are with her." So, so, so, true. My DH knows BM is a back-stabbing liar. But then he says stuff like "well, BM says it's SD's decision and she asks her all the time if she wants to visit". So why would he believe that one statement when he's caught her in so may lies before? The only thing that makes sense is he NEEDS to believe she's a good mother. Jupiter also said "I too run into arguments where he lets her slide on things that he wouldn't with me..I try to give him the example that if it was anyone else in his life he would have told them to go to h#$% because normally in life you don't do favors for people who don't do for you let alone someone who puts him down as a father..." and Love said "But it just totally goes against DH's overall nature, which is so frustrating." This is the issue. Which personality is the REAL one? I have this same problem with DH and I'm starting to think the way he is with HER is his personality when he's vulnerable and that scares the crap out of me because I guess I rarely ever see him vulnerable. I agree with FD. When I am flexible and accommodating with X, it is usually in the best interest of DS, and I do the work. I rarely (if ever) ask DH to do anything for DS, although he would be willing, because I feel like DS is my sole responsibility since I am the parent....See Moremarylmi
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