oh auntjen, I'm so sorry.... I hope in time memories of your sweet friend will bring you some comfort. The only advice i have is don't rush your grieving -it is your connection to your friend...

That is so terrible!! The way you wrote about her, it sounds as if she may have taken her own life. Maybe I'm reading too much into your post. I am so sorry!

I have friends I met online in 1994. Shortly after 9/11, we all met in New York City... We had the time of our lives for six days. We still keep in contact and you are so right. We've had babies, grand babies, watched them grow into wonderful young adults. We've grieved our parents together and cried over divorces. I know just what you mean about being close.

(((Hugs from Golddust.)))

I'm sorry AJ...
From way up North, I'm thinking of you tonite...wishing you comfort.

Faron

My sympathies Jen, it's hard to lose a friend. Some part of them will always stay with you. Like the hairbrush and the birds, you'll probably think of her every time. Amazing those little memory 'gifts' that humans beings give to each other without even realizing it.

I imagine that, through the years, that woman's life and spirit will show itself to be woven into the fabric of who you are, Jen. You will leave the cozy stuff for the birds or interact with the world in some way your friend might have. You will always carry her with you.

That doesn't make the loss any easier, of course. Only time heals. There is not much you can really do besides wait -- be patient, embrace every emotion as it comes up -- eventually the balance will shift. The sweet memories will begin to crowd out the painful thoughts.

Hugs from Massachusetts.

Thanks so much for your kind words. Details are slow to emerge, and are as yet sketchy. We know that she died at home, alone, and our suspicions are that her death was unintentionally self-inflicted. She leaves behind a mother and brother, her animals which meant the world to her, and a host of friends who will, as Amy states, be forever changed from having known her.

I'm so sorry Jen. We lost someone a few years ago; we all met on GW; same thing happened; we left here due to spike & over the years; while we've all moved along; we still check in. I was shocked to get an email from her daughter saying she'd passed.

At one forum I go to; one young guy was so depressed about being treated for cancer years before & that he could not find a girl friend. We some how talked him out of it & about 2 years later; his life ended up changing for the better; he found a really nice girl; married & has 2 beautiful kids. Every time I see pics of the kiddo's; it warms my heart that he hung in there

Hi Jen, I'm so sorry about your friend. Sending my best wishes your way. Take care, and cry whenever you need to- I believe that crying helps us feel better.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Auntjen. The way she died sounds so sad.

The ray of light in all this sadness is how you have celebrated her life by sharing some of her charm, sweetness and good nature with us. We can feel her presence even in her absence, because of you. We can in a small way, all celebrate her life by reflecting on your story of her. Your post honors and thanks her for touching you so deeply through her communications and loving spirit.

Shortly after a friend of mine died many years ago, I felt a compelling urge to get back into doing volunteer work. My friend had been an amazing social worker, and I was overcome with a desire to emulate her in some way, to extend some of the goodness she had offered to others.

I know I haven't come close to giving what she gave to others, but the impulse to give back, indeed a compulsion to, was born from her death.

Maybe sometimes fighting for a cause or embodying the values and concerns of a person who has died can help us to cope with their loss.

Thank you. I appreciate those of you who have had something kind to say more than you will ever know. Your words mean so much.

Auntjen, my condolences on the loss of your friend. She clearly was a special person, not just to you but to many people, and animals who knew her kindness.

I hope that you find comfort in your memories, but also in knowing that her way of being kind to others lives on in you and all those who will honor her by living the way she chose to live.

I found out in a phonecall a couple of months ago that my cousin, a year older than me, was dead. At first they said suicide, but now her death is considered a 'death investigation' and her husband of less than 2 years has hired a criminal attorney. We weren't close, as we never grew up near one another, but when we did get to spend time together at our grandmother's home, we had a blast. She was bright and funny and quick - it doesn't seem possible she is gone, and even less possible that she took her own life.

Thanks, Les.

Please forgive me for being so wrapped up in my own grief that I didn't extend any words to those of you who have spoken of your own losses in this thread. It's difficult to lose someone in the context of what we think of as a normal life span coming to an end. It's especially poignant when someone is younger. My friends and I have been posting photos in our forum and sharing memories of our departed friend, and it's helping us to remember her sweet spirit. One of her Facebook status updates was this: ***** just apologized to the oven for letting the upper door slam shut too hard... That was totally her.
:-)

Sending along dearest, deepest sympathy to you Jen -- and to all here who have lost someone.

I'm sorry for your loss, Jenn.

One of my friends, who I hadn't been in contact with as much since we moved away from the town we lived in together some years ago, died suddenly last year at age 61. It will be difficult to lose any of my close friends, which number many.

Of course I've lost my best friend, my husband, way too prematurely, so I figure if I'm still walking and talking (in some fashion) after that loss, I'll deal with additional loss in my life.

Regardless of the circumstances, whether someone dies young or old or in between, or who we lose, grief is grief and hurt is hurt. I'm sorry.