How do you go from being a mother who your child depended on to someone that no one seems to need? I'm not exactly in your shoes. I'm not single and I have 2 college students, not one. But most of my life revolved around my kids since I was mostly a SAHM and worked part time. The first thing I guess I would say is that my kids both seem to enjoy having me around more now than they did when they were in high school. They both go to college close enough for me to drive up (or down, depending on the college) and have lunch with them. When your daughter starts her freshman year, give her some space and time to get acclimated, and time to start missing you. Then if you are close enough, you may find that she enjoys having you come for short visits sometimes. I find that my kids are around a lot more than I thought they would be, and like to have me visit them more than I thought they would. My other suggestion is to shove those negative thoughts out of your mind after she leaves, and think about positive things. Now is your time to rekindle friendships that you didn't have time for before, or make new ones. Time to take up new hobbies, repaint the house, or whatever you've wanted to do that you put off. Volunteer. There are probably people all around you who need you. And exercise - exercise helps keep the blues away. Every time you think, "Oh how much I miss little Susie, my heart is just breaking", shove that thought out, be thankful you raised such an independent, capable and intelligent young woman, and think about how much you can't wait to buy that new rose bush or take that Italian cooking class, or whatever. One day you will be exercising or gardening or whatever it is that you like to do, and you'll realize the hole in your heart is not so big or so painful. And after she comes home next summer you may even be happy to see her go back to school in the fall and get back the peace and quiet you've grown accustomed to. I know that advice sounds trite and cliched, but it worked for me. Give yourself time to grieve. But keep trying new things or rediscovering old things until you find something that helps fill the hole in your heart.

Taigen, I appreciate your position -- the cooking for 2 issue and the physical limitations as well. Since it's only been a little over a month you are still transitioning to 'it's just the 2 of us' mode. As for the cooking for 2 adjustment. Use the Google search engine and type in: cooking for two cookbooks There's several cookbooks you might find within your library system. Many times, if your local library doesn't have a copy it can be borrowed from another branch. There are also a few websites where those search words supply something for you to try. However, you can still make up your favorite recipes for 6 -- learning to make use of your freezer section can be a real boon to days when you don't feel up to cooking. Also, making a grocery list based on 2 and buying NOTHING which is not on the list helps break the automatic habit of buying snacks, etc. you don't need or want. I agree with others in looking for new hobbies but I particuarly want to suggest being a volunteer. I don't think there is a field out there that isn't looking for volunteers. Getting and keeping busy with something new is a great way to get out of the automated mode. Your library itself...many have children's reading hour or story time and they need adult readers. Your library might even have what ours has which is a library auxiliary which collects books throughout the year and puts on a twice-a- year book sale to raise funds for the library itself. How about volunteering for a thrift shop run by a charity you favor ... work the cash register, stock the shelves, sort and price, taking items home for washing or mending, etc. Your local animal shelter is also a potential resource -- walking the dogs; socializing the puppies and kittens. Other animal interests might include volunteering in your area's wildlife rehab center or fostering at home. Nursing or long term care homes usually have an Activities Director on staff even if part time. Call and inquire if there is something you can do there. I had more fun as a result of contacting a nursing home and finding she (the Activity Director) had a male resident who was a voracious reader who missed reading westerns or books about the old days of settlers. I scoured the several thrifts shops for books in that vein. She also mentioned he loved popcorn so on the day I delivered a BIG bag of books I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up a big bag of pre-made popcorn along with a small bowl he could eat it out of. The charity thrift shops benefitted from my purchases and a senior gentlemen got reading material for a year. Lastly, think of something you and your husband can do together. How about planning that cruise or vacation you have been putting off? Cruises are wonderful vacations for people with physical limitations. Cruise lines and ships are very accommodating to begin with. and you two can enjoy yourselves after having to only unpack once, eat drink and be merry, while the most exhausting part of each day is planning what to do the next day -- leave the driving to someone else!

I put up a gilbertson nest box in February this year and a pair of tree swallows are nesting. In April after the tree swallows had started their nest I saw an eastern bluebird hanging around so I put up a second box hoping to get a late bluebird pair. The second box has remained empty until today I found several large feathers in the box but no nesting material. Any ideas?

Linda, I haven't heard back from my friend, so I googled the cooking light recipe - I would use real butter and rum instead of margarine, etc - but here it is: Jamaican Banana Bread Cooking spray 2 tablespoons stick margarine, softened 2 tablespoons tub light cream cheese, softened 1 cup sugar 1 large egg 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 cup mashed ripe banana 1/2 cup skim milk 2 tablespoons dark rum or 1/4 teaspoon imitation rum extract 1/2 teaspoon grated lime rind 2 teaspoons lime juice 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/4 cup chopped pecans, toasted 1/4 cup flaked sweetened coconut 1/4 cup packed brown sugar 2 teaspoons margarine 2 teaspoons lime juice 2 teaspoons dark rum or 1/8 teaspoon imitation rum extract 2 tablespoons chopped pecans, toasted 2 tablespoons flaked sweetened coconut Preheat oven to 375�. Coat an 8 x 4-inch loaf pan with cooking spray; set aside. Beat 2 tablespoons margarine and cheese at medium speed of a mixer; add 1 cup sugar, beating well. Add egg; beat well. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; stir well. Combine banana and next 5 ingredients (banana through vanilla); stir well. Add flour mixture to creamed mixture alternately with banana mixture, beginning and ending with flour mixture; mix after each addition. Stir in 1/4 cup pecans and 1/4 cup coconut. Pour batter into prepared pan; bake at 375� for 50 to 60 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Let cool in pan 10 minutes; remove from pan. Let cool slightly on a wire rack. Combine brown sugar and 2 teaspoons each margarine, lime juice, and rum in a saucepan; bring to a simmer. Cook 1 minute; stir constantly. Remove from heat. Stir in 2 tablespoons each pecans and coconut; spoon over loaf. Yield: 16 servings (serving size: 1 slice) NUTRITION PER SERVING CALORIES 187(26% from fat); FAT 5.4g (sat 1.5g,mono 2.3g,poly 1.2g); PROTEIN 2.9g; CHOLESTEROL 15mg; CALCIUM 55mg; SODIUM 105mg; FIBER 1.1g; IRON 1mg; CARBOHYDRATE 32.2g Cooking Light, MARCH 1997