Moni, my daughter and her family are avid cyclists--and always well equipped! :-) Maire, I checked the website for the ride. There were five options for the event: 4 miles, 15, 32, 46, and 65. Nothing was mentioned about hills for the 32-mile route. The 46-mile course had 1800' of climbing, and the 65-miler was described as having an additional 3100' of climbing in 40 miles, plus "many hills to climb on this route." At least it was a cool day.

Certainly, the posters who say that for safety the child ought to be in the back seat are correct. And just as certainly, the posters who comment that the real issue here doesn't seem to be child safety, but the competition between the stepmother and the stepdaughter, are just as correct. The OP posted this on the Stepfamily forum, not a child safety forum, and her post does indeed seem to indicate that her concern is about family issues. She didn't even mention safety. What she DID say: "I feel that this is her way of letting me know that she's insecure in the re[la]tionship. But what bothers me is that it makes me feel like I'm being put on the same level as a child ...." THAT'S what the post is about, and it's no answer to say that because children belong in the back, period, there is no issue. Moving the girl to the back seat isn't going to solve the problem of competition for "front place" in Dad/Husband's life. If readers can't get past the diversion of the safety issue, then recast the question to remove the safety issue. Imagine that the poster were driving, and her husband sat in the back with his daughter, or the question were about who sits where at a dinner table or something. I think that both the OP and the daughter have very legitimate feelings here. The little girl had her Daddy, when she did have him, all to herself before. Now she has been moved to the back -- literally. But Dad is entitled to happiness, too, and so is the OP, and certainly she is entitled to feel like she is being treated as an adult. Without the blended family, I suppose the answer is usually, "Kids in back, adults in front; tough luck!" But to do that here, even masking it with the safety concern, just papers over the girl's and woman's very legitimate feelings. She's a kid; she has to ride in back for safety. But I would try to find some other way to shore up her feelings of security in her dad's heart. This will play itself out in other areas of life where they won't be able to play the "safety" trump card. Finally, don't assume this is all due to the remarriage. Even without a blended family, sometimes spouses come first, sometimes children do. That's life. You don't always get your first choice, but you adjust, and it is a lot easier if there is good will and understanding all around. It may not always seem fair to the OP any more than to the child; but she is the adult, and as a stepparent, is also partly responsible for the little girl's emotional growth and well-being now. Maybe sometimes the OP could ride in back with the little girl? Then they have their own bond to share rather than only ever competing for the place by Dad/Husband's side.

I'm trying to get my hands on the records, but I'm having a hard time accessing them online and I don't live in that State anymore, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get the real story. Yesterday was my birthday and I didn't hear from my Dad all day. Nothing today either. I'm a little bit shocked that he didn't at least make an attempt to sneak away and wish me a happy birthday. I'm not sure why I'm surprised, but I am. I was thinking today about this friend of mine. For about a year he dated this girl, and for the first 4 months or so, things were really, really great between them. She was attentive and affectionate and he really fell hard for her. Then as time went on, she grew distant. She started flaking out on him. She'd make plans to come to see him and then not show up and not answer the phone. Whenever he would call her out on her crap, she would have "panic attacks" and cry. It made him feel bad and then she could avoid the confrontation because he didn't want to cause her to have another panic attack. He ended up catching her cheating on him. He broke up with her, but eventually took her back and then she cheated again, so he did finally break up with her for good. But in the mean-time, he kept hoping that things would go back to being the way they were during those first 4 months. He had a hard time accepting that the person he really wanted her to be was not the person she actually was. I think maybe that is the problem I'm having with my Dad. I'm wishing that he was the kind of Dad that I want him to be and that I feel he has the potential to be. I'm wishing it so much that I keep allowing him to throw me under the bus and treat me badly. I keep hoping that things will change and that he'll finally see the light. Obviously that is not going to happen, so I'm going to do my best to cut him out of my life and to not let it bother me. I don't really know if that is possible, but I do know that I can't let him continue to cause this kind of turmoil in my life. It's so toxic. He lies to SM and he lies to me and my brother too. He tells her what she wants to hear and then he tells us that he is sticking up for us. He talks out of both sides of his mouth. I can see his flaws and I always know when he is lying to me. He's not a very good liar. I'm just so torn. I wonder why it is that a parent can continue to disappoint a child and mistreat them and that child still has a heart-felt desire for that parents love and approval.

Thank you, thank you for all of your kind words and good thoughts. I'm past the point of really caring what I post about hubby, he was on tv numerous times, there's a photo of him at the hospital promoting the OTN project, etc etc. So I posted a pic of myself, we're all friends here. :-) It was a very emotional day to be sure. The Ride is on June 1 and I have someone who is taking me as a passenger.......a big Harley. I'll be sure to post pics of the bikes etc, as I did last year. This is such an amazing organization to be a part of. I donate money to the cause, I'm going to try and volunteer next year.