I think I hate my chandelier
6 years ago
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I think my Eureka lemon hates me!
Comments (6)Got an instant read thermometer? Check your soil temperature. I don't like terra cotta pots; because evapotranpiration cools the soil. Listen to Josh, he lives in a colder climate than you. If I lived where you do, I would surely put the tree in the ground; but that's partly because I know very little about container growing and citrus are so much less tempermental when planted in the ground... for one thing they don't get moved around every 15 minutes... the likely cause of most of your problems. The "spots" on your leaves might be scale; but from your description you likely also have spider mites. Here's a link to citrus scale. BTW, if you treated me as badly as you are treating your tree, I might also hate you!LOL Ignorance is curable. Here is a link that might be useful: Scale on citrus...See MoreCan't sleep - I think I may hate my newly finished floors (PICS)
Comments (50)I am in exactly the same place with my red oak floors :( my floors look just as orange as in the pictures... and the variations and wood grain are much more pronounced than I wanted. I have the flooring company coming in on Monday to put down the third coat of poly - do I have any options at this point? Or just a matter of it mattering less once I get more used to the new color...? I had this same level of shock and discomfort with my wall color (had to leave my apartment for the evening just to soothe myself!), but once they sanded the floors - I realized I loved the wall color, just that my old floor finish was clashing with it. Now after staining the floor - I am back to feeling they really clash... and I really wish I had just opted for no stain and a natural finish instead... I’d take that look over what I now have any day. At least - that’s how it feels right now. To the original poster - @lacollar - (or anyone else with a similar experience) - did you eventually get used to (or even fall in love with?! :)) your floors... even though at first it felt like the choice of stain color was a huge mistake? Has anyone tried tinting the final coat to tone down the orange/reds? Does that work? Appreciate any help/advice. Thank you all!...See MoreI think I hate my Stepdaughter
Comments (12)Brenk, I don't even think that your post should be "I think I hate my Stepdaughter" because your feelings towards her admirably transpire nowhere in what you write other than in the title of your post. This is a very serious and dangerous situation. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, especially during your pregnancy (as if that and then taking care of a 1-year-old wasn't enough already!!!). Biologically "linked" or not, if one of your children is harming another one of your children, what would you do? What would you do with your husband if he weren't listening to you then? I think it's clear you would make sure everyone be safe, right? A woman I met many years ago said that relationships are like wagons: sometimes the man pulls the wagon, other time the woman does... It sounds like you have to pull this wagon because your husband's judgement may simply be clouded by the guilt of it all... I can't tell you how many times I have had to have the same discussion over and over again with my husband, sometimes making decisions without his "consent" simply because there were pressing issues at hand. Talk to CPS for advice; do you have a counselor or a therapist you can talk to? Anyone that little girl can work with? You are in such a delicate point of your life, the last thing you need is stress like this. Find someone by you to give you support... Personally, I am not a fan of the idea of sending the little girl away, I think that sending the wrong message (you screw up, we ship you off); but as other posters have said, I think she needs to hear a message. Also, if you see something off about the little girl, then I take it all back and I say pack and leave ASAP.... but from what you write, it doesn't sound like that. And you know what? You may be too strict on that little girl, but for pete's sake, you are pregnant!!! You have a babe on top of that to take care of!!! It's a miracle that your fuses haven't blown completely. Not that losing your cool is OK, but it happens and you need some support. Chances are, you may be more strict than your normally would be because you have no back-up and you are doing the enforcing for 2! What helped my husband hear what I had to say when we had "issues" is that I told him that the problem was mine and that I needed his help because I couldn't handle everything. Nothing about how I felt about the kids, nothing about how he was an absentee parent, nothing about how insane or dangerous I thought the children's behavior was (we had our interesting patches too), but all about me. I don't know, I suppose he felt as if he could "save his damsel in distress", but something clicked and he stepped up to the plate. I don't know if it holds any value for you, but I will keep you in my prayers....See MoreI think I actually hate my step son
Comments (12)As harsh a reality as that is and it sometimes can be completely insane, Deborah is right about the "cub" thing. You better play it smart or else you will be kicked to the curb never the son. A son can be a spoilt, selfish, lazy and useless brat and the mother will still fend for the cub. He could even be a total pyscho and most mothers will fend very strongly. In this case he belongs to the former rather than the latter and this is the case most of the time. I have a step son who is 13 and I am sending him to live with his Grandparents. I had to play it very smart to get this to occur. The step son uses me and shows no respect he never has. The first time he ever met me when he was 10 years old he asked me for money. He hits his grandfather and shouts at him when his grandfather tries to assert himself. This boy has run the joint ever since he was born. If he did something wrong, grandma would give him some candy or some money. His mother is a single mother and the father abandoned her and the son and daughter who is a fantastic girl turning 14 this year. She works her ass off and I have nothing but respect for what she has done since I got involved in their lives. But the step-son is different and is actually undermining her development. This was especially so before I entered the picture when the daughter was a wreck always moaning and upset yet unable to verbalise her feelings. She was ignored while the step son who is useless in an economic sense continued to rule the roost. Despite these kind of factors mothers will do anything to fend for the cub. My way of getting him to the grandparents was to argue that they give him what he wants, and that the cost of me disciplining him at this late stage is just to great. The house would be a warzone, a pitched battle between me and the step son to get him to take responsibility and to demonstrate respect for the fact that I dragged him and his entire family out of borderline poverty. He does not give a shit that I did that because he is no longer in control. When his family was poor they still spoilt him. They are still poor now mind you but they will never fall below the poverty line; i am their security guarantee. A 13 year old boy is old enough to understand this in theory. Especially the MASSIVE change in living standards. They lived in a 'house' the size of a small bathroom with 6 people and rats running around it. I pulled them out and all i get is used by the step son who actually prefers the old life because he was the boss and did whatever he wants. When I tried to control him it became war and instead of continuing it I said to his mother, you know what, he now knows that he can not beat his elderly grandfather and shout at him (because I grabbed him by the throat when he did it). With that control mechanism in place, he knows that if he does it again I will take it further because that is just beyond the pale, beating or hitting and screaming at your grandfather who loves you and kept you alive slaving in a factory for 60 hours a week for a paltry 25 dollars for the entire week...So with that being said, I argued that he should go to the grandparents for now, they love him and will spoil him gladly and he will be very happy as he can do whatever he wants. Me on the other hand, I want to vomit when I see it and refuse to do it. The cost of trying to get him to play ball in society is not worth the result because he is not my son. But my argument to the mother was not that, because I would have triggered the 'cub defence mechanism' that is inbuilt in all mothers. My argument was simple: (1) he will be loved and there will be no real conflict (2) the grandparents love him to pieces and are happy to take him (3) he will be happy there and you (the mother) will not have to worry about me disciplining your son anymore (3) (i actually most left this part out though) her daughter can focus on her study without her brother and grandfather taking over the house with their bullshit (grandfather cooks fried pork fat hotdogs and fried chicken for step son every morning) the daughter eats it because it is what is there - that will change when the step son and grandfather go back to the grandmother's house. Moral of the story is if you want to get rid of a step son you have to make it benefit him 90% + with very little downside to him personally; in my case it helps that he never liked me despite what I did to get him out of poverty. So easier to get rid him. Also I pay the bills. Depending on what your situation is you have to tailor your reasons accordinly, but if you want to succeed you must make getting rid of him a plus for him personally and not for yourself. Otherwise you will trigger 'mother cub mechanism' and it is GAME OVER if you do that. Find a way to make getting rid of him a net benefit for him and make sure that he is in a safe loving environment. You won't succeed in having him go to a less safe environment because that will trigger the mother. BE VERY SMART and capitalise on ANY viable opening you might have....See MoreRelated Professionals
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